Health Care Update: University Research Proves Tim Tebow’s Tears Cure Cancer
posted at 11:24 am on December 6, 2009 by The Other McCain
A team of researchers from the University of Alabama made this breakthrough discovery Saturday night in the Southeastern Conference championship game. I’m probably going to get an e-mail from The Boss reminding me that the Greenroom is a college football no-gloat zone. I’m willing to risk it, because the undefeated Crimson Tide made Florida QB Tim Tebow cry last night:
The Tide broke Tebow’s 22-game winning streak, which also prompted gloating by another conservative blogger, Carol at No Sheeples Here:
If you’re not an ‘Bama fan, you might not recognize the houndstooth hat as a symbol made famous by legendary Crimson Tide coach Paul “Bear” Bryant. Because my dad was an Alabama alumnus (Class of ’50), I was raised on the Tide tradition, which includes a lot of humorous speculation about the divinity of Coach Bryant:
Kind of makes you feel sorry for Notre Dame fans. One of these days they’re going to die and go to heaven and be shocked to discover that God wears a houndstooth hat and smokes unfiltered Chesterfields.
Of course, being the merciful being he is, God won’t ban them to Hell.
That’s for Auburn fans.
Floridians believed their team to be divinely blessed, perhaps because President Obama is a Gator fan. Alas, St. Timothy’s congregation was disappointed:
Tebow might be able to walk on water, but he can’t run on the Tide.
Saturday’s game featured one highlight of bittersweet irony — bitter for Florida, sweet for the Tide. Alabama had heavily recruited Tebow, who turned them down to sign with the Gators. And the play that sealed Florida’s defeat was when a Tebow pass was intercepted by ‘Bama cornerback Javier Arenas, a Tampa native whom the Gators didn’t bother to recruit.
Tebow’s embarrassing defeat, combined with Texas QB Colt McCoy’s unimpressive performance against Nebraska last night, should result in Tide RB Mark Ingram becoming Alabama’s first-ever Heisman Trophy winner. Ingram scored three touchdowns against Florida, rushing for 113 yards – a school-record 1,542 rushing yards for the season – and also caught two passes for 76 yards.
One blogger noted that Ingram is black, while his leading rivals for the Heisman, Tebow and McCoy, are both white. Therefore, should Ingram be denied the trophy, it can only be be explained by a 10-letter word: RAAAAACISM!
If Mark Ingram doesn’t get the Heisman now, I’d join any Heisman protest Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would care to lead.
Exit question: Considering that Hot Air alumnus Bryan Preston is now director of communications for the Texas GOP, which team will Allahpundit be cheering for when Texas meets ‘Bama in the BCS title game Jan. 7 in Pasadena?
Blowback
Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.
Trackbacks/Pings
Trackback URL
Comments
Seeing Tebow crying is the most awesome of awesomeness. God what a treat! Roll Tide!
SouthernGent on December 6, 2009 at 7:08 PM
In all truth, I admire Tebow. He’s a tremendous talent and a real leader. Did you see him when he got into the defensive huddle to fire them up? That’s the kind of competitive fire I can appreciate.
Still, when Alabama beats the defending champs and that mighty Tide defense reduces the opposing quarterback to tears . . . yeah, it’s sweet.
The Other McCain on December 6, 2009 at 9:04 PM
Y’know yesterday I was extremely gracious to the Tide, wishing you the best of luck. However, one AL commenter threw a roll tide as a reply, then there’s this trash of a post. I still think UT is an absolute fraud of a team and McCoy a charlatan. I also like football in that all the chips are put down for one game; however, AL had a good game and everything went your way. If Hernandez caughted the TD in the second quarter and Tebow wasn’t intercepted in the fourth, it might’ve turned out differently.
So please, spare me. Tebow will always be more of a man than you McCain. Why don’t you go back to what you do best; covering a complete loser in update New York.
If it was TCU vs AL, who knows who UF fans would’ve rooted for. One thing is for sure, I think every Gator fan is proud to live in a much more beautiful and until recently vibrant state, instead of the backwater, boondock, trog filled state know as ‘bama.
TimTebowSavesAmerica on December 6, 2009 at 9:27 PM
I remember you said you were from an SEC school; I guessed USC. Either way, I thought you had more class than that comment.
TimTebowSavesAmerica on December 6, 2009 at 9:34 PM
Hey Gators, Hey Gators,
WE JUST BEET THE HELL OUT OF YOU!
Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer
GIVE EM HELL ALABAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROLL TIDE, ROLL!!!!!
TV always tries to cover up the rammer jammer. But it was so lout Sat. they could not even talk over it!
patriotparty1 on December 7, 2009 at 9:44 AM
Well, a lot of no class comments from the rednecks. Yep, Ala beat Fla fair & square and we were prepared to root for the SEC team, but not now. The red flow can kiss our grits. Hook um horns, and we’ll see you next year in tuskerloosened.
Kissmygrits on December 7, 2009 at 10:33 AM
We could have scored again. Florida WOULD have tried to score again. But Alabama is ALWAYS a class act when it comes to that. The Bear allowed no less and we still play that way. No celebrating, no taunting, no running up the score. Good old fashioned football.
Per Coach Bryant: Defence wins Championships!
Bryants favorite mantra:
This is the beginning of a new day
God has given me this day to use as I will
I can waste it or I can use it for good.
What I do today is very, very important,
because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes this day will be gone….
Forever…leaving something in it’s place I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss. Good, not eveil.
Success, not failure, in order that I shall not forget the price that I paid for it.
patriotparty1 on December 7, 2009 at 11:34 AM
You don’t get it kissmygrits. This was the revenge game for last year. We are not taking anything away from Tebow. He is probably the best all around athelete the game has ever seen. We just had something to prove this year. Last year broke our heart and this game was the first time we put it all together.
60 min. both sides of the ball clicking. I for one totally understand him crying. He works so hard and puts his whole heart into the game. He was looking for the fairy tail ending to his colege life. But, as he knows sometimes God has other plans and other lessons to teach you. I just wish he would have pulled it together for the interview and not been crying then. But I would not make fun of him.
Everyone in the SEC pulls for SEC. If Florida would have won, we would be rooting for them to win just like they will now root for us. That is the way southern football is played. Tough, snot bubble tackles, fair, and with class always.
Like Coach Bryant used to tell his guys. Knock the Hell out of them, then help them up and tell them I’ll be right back!
You have to be part of the tradition to understand it I guess. We rammer jammer, EVERYONE. Have for years and will for years.
patriotparty1 on December 7, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Despite this absolutely callow post, I will be pulling for the Crimson Tide. It was a fair game. SEC supports SEC. Also, UT is an absolute fraud/joke of a team. Still the dbag who wrote this article should be ashamed of himself for the reasons you mentioned; Tebow works insanely hard. If McCain has any children, I wonder how he’d feel if people trashed his kids publicly after a difficult period.
TimTebowSavesAmerica on December 7, 2009 at 12:32 PM
I misjudged the Tide, they played with heart – a lot more of it than when they played Auburn congrats to them for beating the Gators. Frankly until that game they looked beatable.
They will easily beat the Longhorns. The last 2 games have shown that UT’s heart is not in the game. The Aggies are 6 & 6 and UT won in a high scoring game on both sides, the then Nebraska game – SUH-IEEEE. 8 sacks. UT’s schedule hasn’t been that tough. The Tide will roll all over UT. Frankly TCU should be playing Alabama. Maybe Alabama would still win but it would be a game, TCU has spirit and drive and talent. Yes Alabama should be playing for the NC but shouldn’t they have a worthy rival?
Cincy is going to be a white elephant gift for FL. No way they should have jumped to #3 after winning 45-44. I hope the Gators have their heart in the game.
Then there is the “Separate but Equal bowl” aka Fiesta bowl: undefeated TCU v. undefeated Boise State. That might be the only game worth watching from an excitement point of view.
But shame on you McCain – Tebow is very passionate, he is a senior and yes a kid. You might not have a kid in sports, and if you do I doubt you have one who has worked as hard or sacrificed as much as Tebow has to get where he is. He is at the end of the long road of Student-Athlete and at the most important game of the season it is breaking down in chaos.
Geeze McCain don’t ever go to a High School State Championship game or even a College World Series, you might see more student-athletes cry. Some of the winners cry too – because it is the end. Yea some might go on to the pros but even some of those guys cry because it is still the culmination of their childhood dreams.
Hey maybe you & the other guys can round up a posse of real men who point & laugh at student-athletes who cry. Nah because if you did it in person those boys (& I’d bet the softball girls) would wipe up their tears & then kick your ass.
batterup on December 7, 2009 at 2:30 PM
what do sand castles and the gators have in common? They both get taken out by the Tide.
(I’m here all day folks)
Ris4victory on December 7, 2009 at 2:57 PM
Not to mention what he does away from the field, which is infinitely more important–& that is no hyperbole. Imagine getting 400 speaking requests every month, & turning down the vast majority of them to visit prisons & the poor in the Philippines instead.
Since he is so admirable both on & off the field, I find it difficult to understand the trendy sport of Tebow-bashing. It’s cruelty like this that made me lose interest in sports about a decade ago.
jgapinoy on December 8, 2009 at 6:15 AM
…But your degrading of the nature of God is of course more troublesome than your trash-talk about Tebow, Mr McCain.
jgapinoy on December 8, 2009 at 6:18 AM
Being the recipient of dozens upon dozens of ass-whippings by both the Tide and the Gators over the years (I went to Mississippi State), I was hoping there was a way for BOTH of them to lose.
But watching Tebow cry was a definite consolation.
lionheart on December 8, 2009 at 11:48 AM