Mutt and Jeff Address the U.N. Mahmoud, Too.
posted at 10:47 am on September 24, 2009 by Howard Portnoy
What a day yesterday was. The East Side of Manhattan, ordinarily choked with traffic on a business day, was completely shut down. The cause was a triple feature playing at the United Nations in midtown. The show may as well have featured the Three Stooges and the Marx Brothers to round out the laugh riot provided courtesy of Acts I, II, and III.
The first act, of course, was a straight man, whose somber tone and humility set the stage for the clowns (one in full makeup) to come. In all fairness, the straight man — Barack Obama — did deliver his share of yuks. Although he never referred to the U.N. as an “august body,” which would have had the tears streaming down delegates’ faces, he did say that “No nation can or should try to dominate another nation,” which produced knowing waves of laughter from the delegations from Russia, Poland, and the Czech Republic.
Obama’s best line of the day? “We’ve re-engaged the United Nations. We have paid our bills. We have joined the Human Rights Council.” The delegates from Israel, a nation that has been condemned by the hilariously named council more than a dozen times while the actions of its neighbor have been ignored, got the joke.
Next on the bill came Muammar Khaddafi, known simply to his friends as “Daffi.” Although he didn’t bring along his trademark mallet and melons to smash, he was introduced as the “King of Kings of Africa,” which brought the house down. His act, which was slated to run 15 minutes, was so hilarious that, with curtain calls, he occupied the stage for closer to an hour and a half, riffing about Israel being behind the assassination of JFK and subsequent killing of “Lee Harvey” by Jack Ruby and about the “true origins” of the swine flu. Wearing tons of clown makeup, including a zany under-the-lip mustache, he riffled through reams of scribbled paper scraps as he spoke for added comedic effect.
Finally came the part of the bill everyone had been waiting for, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Again, the spotlight was on the Israelis present — well, who would have been present if they hadn’t so rudely walked out of the hall in the middle of the performance — as Mahmoud read them the riot act for staging “barbaric” attacks in the Gaza Strip last year. He also took a friendly jab at the U.S. for its wars “on Islam” in Iraq and Afghanistan.
There is now talk of a joint performance by Obama and Ahmadinejad, which should be a screamer. The Obama administration refuses to give a glimpse of what the show may contain, though I am willing to bet that Obama apologizes up and down for the U.S.’s past transgressions, which ought to have world leaders rolling in the aisles.
Cross-posted at Zombie Contentions