Arianna Huff-and-Puff Thanks Glenn Beck

posted at 3:55 pm on September 8, 2009 by Howard Portnoy
[ Moonbats ]   

No, seriously. The founder of what is perhaps the most slanted, deranged blog site in the left hemisphere of the blogosphere sees a silver lining in the firing — oops! I mean resignation — of Van Jones.

Huffington’s thank you note to Beck offers up the following hugs and smooches:

[Y]ou have done a great service to your country. But in the exact opposite way than you intended. Your vile and vicious smear campaign has helped reverse one of the worst examples of miscasting since John Wayne took on the role of Genghis Khan in The Conqueror. Don’t get me wrong: Van Jones was the best person for the job he just gave up. But the job was not the best use of Van Jones. Van is a truly gifted speaker who knows how to use words to move people to action. To stick him behind a desk with a sock in his mouth was a major waste. Now, thanks to Beck [sic], he is freed to do what he does best: inspire and educate and energize people all across America.

From what I’ve heard and seen of Van Jones by way of published quotes and YouTube, I personally think the best use he could serve would be bagging groceries (though I suspect he’d put the eggs on the bottom).

In any case, I think Arianna’s fears that he would have constrained by his desk job were unfounded. I am quite sure that, had he not been set free to “inspire and educate and energize people all across America,” Jones would have found plenty of time for bloviating from his White House perch. I’m convinced he would have enlarged upon his view that “white polluters and the white environmentalists are essentially steering poison into the people of color’s communities because they don’t have a racial justice frame” (whatever in the world that might mean).

I’m certain he would have enlightened the masses with his plan to “move from suicidal gray capitalism to some kind of eco-capitalism where, you know, at least we’re not — you know fast-tracking the destruction of the whole planet.”

He would have shared with the world such even-handed and useful wisdom as this: “You’ve never seen a Columbine done by a black child. Never. They always say, ‘We can’t believe it happened here. We can’t believe it’s these suburban white kids.’ It’s only them. Now, a black kid might shoot another black kid. He’s not going to shoot up the whole school.”

All Americans, young and old alike, would have learned through his speeches of his heroic efforts to free cold-blooded cop killers like Mumia Abu-Jamal (aka Wesley Cook), currently serving a life sentence for the murder of a Philadelphia police officer.

At least now Van is free once again to openly agitate — I mean, orate. That is until his next arrest.

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