Psst…Don’t Tell Andrew Sullivan Our Secret

posted at 11:09 am on July 1, 2009 by Legal Insurrection
printer-friendly

Andrew Sullivan is back on his Trig Palin birther hoax theory, that Sarah Palin is the grandmother and Bristol Palin is the mother. Or what Sullivan calls And The Story The MSM Still Won’t Touch. Sullivan has no evidence, just unanswered questions. That’s all it takes for an internet rumor to take hold. In order for Sullivan’s theory to be true, the scope of the conspiracy of silence must be massive, almost on par with the Israeli conspiracy to bomb the World Trade Center and to set up al-Qaeda as the fall guys [note to the humorless watchers, this is a joke].

Sarah Palin officially announced that she was pregnant no later than March 5, 2008 (see USA Today article, above right). Which means that if this is a hoax, at least all of the following people have been in on the conspiracy and have kept their vows of silence for over a year:

• Everyone on Palin’s gubernatorial staff, who had daily contact with her
• Everyone in the various departments of the executive and legislative branches who had frequent contact with Palin
• Every Alaskan news source, including the newspapers and television stations which covered the pregnancy and birth
• All of Palin’s political opponents, at least through the date she got the V.P. nomination
• Everyone in Wasilla, where everyone seems to know everyone else’s business and are amateur psychiatrists (at least according to Vanity Fair)
• Everyone at Wasilla High School, who are keeping quiet that Bristol was pregnant
• Everyone at the Republican Governors’ Energy Conference in Houston, where Palin was speaking when her water broke and who must be hiding that Palin didn’t look pregnant
• All the physicians, nurses, and other staff at the hospital where Palin gave birth to Trig; and last but not least,
• Levi Johnston, the father of Bristol’s son Tripp, who has run at the mouth about so much but has kept the conspiracy quiet. When interviewed by Tyra Banks, Levi said nothing about Bristol being Trig’s mom. But then again, he wasn’t asked. Oh no, that must mean Tyra’s in on the conspiracy! And Larry King didn’t ask, either. Larry, how could you?

Hundreds, maybe thousands of people must be keeping this secret, in order for Sullivan’s theory to be true. The more people keep silent, the more Sullivan believes. The lack of evidence becomes evidence.

It’s like the whole world is throwing a big surprise party, and Andrew Sullivan is the only one who doesn’t know where or when. Please, no one tell him our big secret, it’s too much fun watching him on his wild Alaskan goose chase.

Cross-posted with updates at Legal Insurrection Blog

Blowback

You must be logged in to post a comment.