Green Room

Obama Snacked, Iranians Got Whacked

posted at 10:13 am on June 21, 2009 by

Confection accomplished. Heck of a glob, Barry. Barack Obama doesn’t care about lactose-intolerant people. “Now watch this drive… to the ice cream shop.”

To learn more about how our emperor dawdled while Tehran burned, check out Jeff “What enchants you, Mr. President?” Zeleny’s hard-hitting report, and Patterico’s compare-and-contrast between an Iranian dissident and an American busboy. And then try to imagine the NYT’s coverage if Bush had pulled a stupid stunt like this on a day like yesterday. Of course, if it’d been Bush, he’d be taking a break from his responsibilities (like supporting democracy), not a break from shirking them.

(In all fairness, that pic is from a previous ice-cream run, so his grin may not have been quite as wide yesterday.)

It isn’t about the ice cream. People need to start realizing that Obama isn’t the President of the United States; the United States is the throne upon which Obama sits. “Let them eat soft-serve.”

P.S. In honor of Obama’s commanding leadership, Ben & Jerry’s has announced 6 delicious new flavors: Truncheon Crunch, Ayatollhouse Cookie Dough, Lemon Loin-Gird, Ineffectual Fudge, Let Them Eat Cake Batter, and Toffeetalitarianism.

P.P.S. As long as I spent all day on Twitter yesterday venting about this (for the sake of the structural integrity of my TV screen), I might as well post some of it here:

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Michelle would’ve taken the girls for ice cream, but she’s busy helping the Fantastic Four fight Dr. Doom while the Thing is on vacation.

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Imagine if Bush went on an ice cream run during something like this. He’d be “Worst Person in the World” every day forever.

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If you think you’ve got it bad, Iranian protesters, just be glad you don’t have to worry about an ice-cream headache.

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Alt-universe MSNBC graphic: “Fire & Ice (Cream).” Chris Matthews wants to know if Bush will be getting custard in prison.

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Little-known historical fact: After Nero got done fiddling, he popped out for a lovely scoop of mint chocolate chip.

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My Pet Goat: “Bush didn’t care!” My Wet Cone: “Can’t a guy have a life?”

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The White House will put out another statement on Iran just as soon as it’s transcribed from the Dairy Queen napkin.

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If you think there was a lot of fudging on that sundae, wait until you see Obama’s next statement on Iran.

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Alt-universe Letterman: “Vice President Palin took her daughter for ice cream on Saturday. I woulda pegged her as more of a Slurpee gal.”

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Rachel Maddow’s entire hour Monday will be devoted to what she’s calling “Sundae Bloody Sundae.” #ifobamawasrepublican

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Fred Armisen walks onstage dressed as an ice-cream bar with an afro, must wait 1 full minute to say his first line. #ifobamawasrepublican

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Palin wasn’t supposed to run for VP because it would take time away from her kids. Whereas Obama’s the World’s Best Dad while Tehran burns.

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For every minute Bush spent reading to kids after hearing about 9/11, Obama has had 1 full day to deal with the Iranian election.

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BREAKING: Obama Calls for Tolerance of Opposing Opinions, Lactose

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From Letterman’s monologue next Mon.: “This situation in Iran is somethin’, huh? Haven’t seen chaos like this since the last Bush family picnic.” [Makes "glug-glug" drinking gesture]

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Mr. President: What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Because we know condemning this outrage isn’t on the list.

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“I can see Haagen-Dazs from my house!” #ifobamawasrepublican

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(Crossposted to jimtreacher.com)

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Obama got the cone; the protesters got the bone.

P.S.
Mmm. Sprinkles.

andycanuck on June 21, 2009 at 11:00 AM

I just tried to make a comment on the Enchanting Mr. Zeleny’s post. comment denied by the moderator. Guess Mr. Zeleny doesn’t want to be reminded how enchanting he is.

ckdexterhaven on June 21, 2009 at 11:29 AM

I wonder if the Times is trying to scrub the site? The first time I opened the Zeleny link, the page loaded and then reloaded with a Times‘ “page not found” page. And the second time I went there, it opened okay but even though I hit the “stop loading” button several times and could scroll down about to comment #5 making excuses for O cutting in line, I got screen freeze and had to bugger around for 3 minutes with ctrl-alt-delete to get out of it.

andycanuck on June 21, 2009 at 11:38 AM

The NYT link still works for me, Andy.

Jim Treacher on June 21, 2009 at 11:39 AM

Figurative bullets of speech in a straightforward and plain projectile of words propelled by Mr. Treacher. I’d say many hits landed on your acquired target of prey indeed.

Americannodash on June 21, 2009 at 11:47 AM

Maybe it’s just a traffic problem to the page then.

andycanuck on June 21, 2009 at 11:56 AM

Oh, and sorry that I missed your Maddow sundae comment, Jim. I made my sundae comment in the Headlines thread after reading Wade there and not you here. (And I think “peppermint spray” from katy is still the best line.)

andycanuck on June 21, 2009 at 11:59 AM

Have you noticed that is whole foreign policy is entirely based on his political future. Obamas interest not Americas interest is his starting point.
I’m really curious who is advising him on these matters.
I’m guessing it is axelrod( his lib name is nimrod)

He is getting punked by north korea. I guess if Japan or Hawii gets bombed by accident he will be ‘deeply concerned’.
He could have destabilized Iran and let the moment pass.
China and russia are looking at this and thinking we have a sucker to roll over now.

kangjie on June 24, 2009 at 9:32 AM