Green Room

David Letterman’s Stupid Blame-Dodging Tricks

posted at 12:34 pm on June 11, 2009 by

Whew! Everything’s okay now, folks, because David Letterman has publicly apologized for cruelly mocking the teenaged children of a politician he doesn’t like:

You can tell this is an apology because at no point does he actually apologize. Just because it’s an angry, insincere, self-pitying (“Get yourself a talk show, folks”), self-justifying whine, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t just drop the whole thing already. They’re only jokes, right? First Amendment! You wingnuts do it too! Etc.

So now we’re supposed to accept that Letterman wasn’t lashing out at Sarah Palin through her 14-year-old daughter — which would be totally sick, after all — but through her 18-year-old daughter. He was just too lazy to make sure he was publicly humiliating the correct offspring of the person he clearly loathes, right?

And we’re also supposed to accept that even though he was joking about Bristol being a slut — not Willow, honest! — it’s okay because after all, Bristol is an unwed teen mother. It wasn’t a rape joke, silly, it was a whore joke. This is the substance of Letterman’s “apology.”

Hey, all you Palin-haters, here’s a fun fact you might not know: Barack Obama was conceived out of wedlock when his mom was barely legal!

That’s right, Ann Dunham Soetoro was born on 11/29/42, she married Barack Obama, Sr. on 2/2/61, and their son was born on 8/4/61. So lil’ Barry would’ve been conceived somewhere around his mom’s 18th birthday, most likely before, with a man who was not her husband. And his parents’ subsequent marriage wasn’t even legal, because Barack Sr. was still married to a woman in Kenya. Ann was in the same situation then as Bristol is now, except the father hung around a little longer. And she didn’t have a seething mob dogging her heels and then running back to their news networks and late-night talk shows.

Boy, I’ll bet Jack Parr is in Heaven right now, wishing he’d done some hilarious gags about Obama’s mom banging Mickey Mantle and getting hit on by JFK.

Here, Dave, let me try to help you out: “Governor Palin, I apologize for my amazingly stupid and cruel jokes about your daughter, and for being too lazy to even make sure I was joking about the correct one. It was wrong to lash out at you through your children, and I won’t ever do it again.” If you’re capable of saying that, then maybe we’ll think about letting you off the hook.

Until then, I’m sticking with “Letterman thinks raping little girls is funny.”

P.S. Tim Blair has a good round-up of reaction to Letterman’s hostile squirming. Isn’t it interesting that CBS took the A-Rod joke out of the transcript it sent out?

P.P.S. The Palins put out a statement that they have no intention of boosting Letterman’s ratings by appearing on his show, and besides, it would be wise to keep Willow away from him. I was kind of hoping Todd would help Letterman with a brand-new bit: “Will It Heal?”

P.P.P.S. “Because, you know, all unwed mothers are sluts, except for Letterman’s wife.” Well, he did marry her… once his son hit kindergarten.

(Cross-posted to jimtreacher.com)

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Comment pages: 1 2 3

mr1216 on June 11, 2009 at 2:46 PM

THAT was the most disgusting part of this to me also. Any “man” that sat in the audience and laughed at that buck toothed, bastard daddy, pedophile (lighten up, Dave, it was a joke) should submit to an orchidectomy. They don’t need them anymore.

TugboatPhil on June 12, 2009 at 6:25 AM

You have a hell of an imagination. How does that translate into rape? It was Spitzer who was on the receiving end of that line not Palin’s daughter.

Bill Blizzard on June 12, 2009 at 2:15 AM

Why are you pretending not to know I’m talking about the A-Rod joke?

I’d be more ambivalent about the Spitzer joke if it hadn’t come a full 24 hours after the first one. It seems very unlikely that somebody on Letterman’s staff hadn’t been told by then that Willow went on that trip, not Bristol.

Move forward. Concentrate on the goal, not the Enemy.

seesalrun on June 12, 2009 at 1:12 AM

That’s exactly what they’re doing. Their goal is to run Sarah Palin out of public life by attacking her family. I don’t care for it, and letting it happen without opposition seems like an odd way of moving forward.

Jim Treacher on June 12, 2009 at 11:12 AM

Jim Treacher on June 12, 2009 at 11:12 AM

Sorry Jim. I didn’t see the video from the first night that started the controversy. But after watching it and considering Letterman made clear he was referring to Palin’s 18yo, I still think you are being way too PC. Palin shouldn’t have put her children in the spotlight during the RNC convention. Especially with the 18yo being pregnant at the time while being a spokesperson for abstinence education, funded by an apparel manufacturer which makes slutty clothing for tweens. As far as my friends and I are concerned, nothing is taboo when it comes to jokes. If you wince we consider you to be PC. My Jewish friends even make jokes about the Holocaust. Libs were outraged at Rush’s shot at Chelsea Clinton and my friends and I considered them to be PC. After reading Hot Air for the past 3 years I thought being PC was a taboo here.

RE: “Their goal is to run Sarah Palin out of public life by attacking her family.”

From the comments section it appears Palin supporters and conservatives don’t watch Letterman. Therefore the goal you attribute here wouldn’t work. The only motive was to get a cheap laugh.

Bill Blizzard on June 12, 2009 at 6:45 PM

Move forward. Concentrate on the goal, not the Enemy.

seesalrun on June 12, 2009 at 1:12 AM

That’s exactly what they’re doing. Their goal is to run Sarah Palin out of public life by attacking her family. I don’t care for it, and letting it happen without opposition seems like an odd way of moving forward.

Jim Treacher on June 12, 2009 at 11:12 AM

Their goal is to destroy this Country and anyone who supports it with it.

Our goal is to save it. WE have to concentrate on the goal and not lower ourselves to their level. THAT would give them exactly what they want.

That being said, I’m glad Palin is on the offense as she should be. If anyone public or private had said something like that about my daughter, well…

seesalrun on June 12, 2009 at 8:12 PM

Bill Blizzard on June 12, 2009 at 6:45 PM

Not liking jokes about a child being sexually assaulted, or the blundering attempts to excuse it — sorry, but if you’re following Sarah Palin’s activities closely enough to make a joke about her daughter getting knocked up at a baseball game, you can at least make sure you’re slandering the correct one — is politically correct. How about that.

Stand tall, my friend. You might just be the finest human being who has ever lived.

Jim Treacher on June 12, 2009 at 10:52 PM

LOL! Since when did defending a woman and her daughters’ honor become “political correctness”?

eforhan on June 12, 2009 at 11:04 PM

eforhan on June 12, 2009 at 11:04 PM

LOL! I accused Treacher of being PC, not Palin.

Jim Treacher on June 12, 2009 at 10:52 PM

How do you explain this line that used to be in the banner of your blog?
“Mother, may I sleep with Treacher”

I know it’s not there now. But when I checked in awhile back and seen that I chuckled. But some, like you now, would think it’s a reference to statutory rape. But nannies like you seem to know the magical dividing line on what humor steps over that line.

Bill Blizzard on June 12, 2009 at 11:34 PM

I wasn’t talking about Palin.

Good thread, Treach. They’ve set the PC rules and we either have to make them use them or ignore them completely. The former former will hopefully show the libs for the hypocrites they are.

eforhan on June 13, 2009 at 12:19 AM

How do you explain this line that used to be in the banner of your blog?
“Mother, may I sleep with Treacher”

With this. How do you explain your stupid name?

I know it’s not there now. But when I checked in awhile back and seen that I chuckled. But some, like you now, would think it’s a reference to statutory rape. But nannies like you seem to know the magical dividing line on what humor steps over that line.

Bill Blizzard on June 12, 2009 at 11:34 PM

Yes, genius, joking about raping a 14-year-old girl does cross my line. If it doesn’t cross yours, I hope you never have a daughter.

Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 1:08 AM

RE: eforhan on June 13, 2009 at 12:19 AM

You are right. I stand corrected. Sorry!

Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 1:08 AM

RE: Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?
That answer is pathetic. That and a dollar will get you a McChicken sandwich at McDonald’s. Do you think yourself to be “Mr. Danger“ because of your musings on the blog? It was dangerous to write your PC babble here, ( would you like some cheese with that whine? ), not thinking about the implications of your old banner.

The only letter separating your name from “teacher” is the letter “r”. So they both sound almost exactly the same when pronounced phonetically. So, “Mother may I sleep with Treacher” is a statutory rape joke made worse because a teacher is an authority figure. But I’ll give you the benefit of doubt and chalk it up to not thinking it through.

A mistake. Just like Letterman’s writers. They scan through a news story about Palin visiting NYC and find an itinerary but missed the part of who was accompanying her, if it was in the article they read at all. I and everyone I asked, about 40 people, had no idea who was accompanying Palin in NYC. The people that seen it live thought he was referring to Bristle. I told the joke to those that didn’t see it and they thought the same. And so did his audience which I would assume are a majority of New Yorkers.

You started this topic after Letterman made it clear in his half assed apology that he wasn’t referring to Willow. There is something sick and twisted in your logic that you want to keep insisting Letterman was referring to raping Willow. Why? Because the apology has to be your way or the highway? I think I’ll take back the doubt. Thou doth protest too much, methinks. Your attitude makes me think you would like to burn or ban some of William Shakespeare’s works. Or muzzle Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, etc.

From Palin’s response:

“Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman.”

Letterman invited only Sarah and Todd on the show. Not the whole family. That statement isn’t a joke and it implies Willow being raped for sure according to your logic.

Bill Blizzard on June 13, 2009 at 7:24 PM

Bill Blizzard on June 13, 2009 at 7:24 PM

That was quite a tantrum. Well, you asked.

Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 7:53 PM

Here are a couple of other crazy wacky book-burners for you to seethe about, Bill:

http://www.sheckymagazine.com/2009/06/lettermans-non-apology.html

Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 7:54 PM

Jim

Thanks for the link. I hope you read all the comments to that post.

Bill Blizzard on June 14, 2009 at 12:03 PM

Bill Blizzard on June 14, 2009 at 12:03 PM

And I hope you start acting more like your last name and keeping it cool.

Jim Treacher on June 14, 2009 at 4:42 PM

And I hope you start acting more like your last name and keeping it cool.
Jim Treacher on June 14, 2009 at 4:42 PM

VBG

You were not, to a certain extent, “Mr. Freeze” yourself. About 5 to 10 degrees lower then me. Fahrenheit not Celsius.

Bill Blizzard on June 15, 2009 at 12:33 AM

Who did Spitzer rape? I hope you aren’t self projecting.

How do you explain this line that used to be in the banner of your blog?
“Mother, may I sleep with Treacher”

I know it’s not there now. But when I checked in awhile back and seen that I chuckled. But some, like you now, would think it’s a reference to statutory rape.

That answer is pathetic.

There is something sick and twisted in your logic that you want to keep insisting Letterman was referring to raping Willow. Why? Because the apology has to be your way or the highway? I think I’ll take back the doubt. Thou doth protest too much, methinks. Your attitude makes me think you would like to burn or ban some of William Shakespeare’s works. Or muzzle Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, etc.

I stand corrected.

Jim Treacher on June 15, 2009 at 11:18 AM

Stand tall, my friend. You might just be the finest human being who has ever lived.
Jim Treacher on June 12, 2009 at 10:52 PM

How do you explain your stupid name?
I hope you never have a daughter.
Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 1:08 AM

That was quite a tantrum.
Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 7:53 PM

Here are a couple of other crazy wacky book-burners for you to seethe about, Bill:
http://www.sheckymagazine.com/2009/06/lettermans-non-apology.html
Jim Treacher on June 13, 2009 at 7:54 PM

And I hope you start acting more like your last name and keeping it cool.
Jim Treacher on June 14, 2009 at 4:42 PM

Now you do.

Bill Blizzard on June 15, 2009 at 1:25 PM

Those are what you picked out? Wow, you’re good at this.

Jim Treacher on June 16, 2009 at 2:05 AM

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