All Is Lost

posted at 10:58 pm on May 26, 2009 by Doctor Zero

Sonia Sotomayor is guaranteed confirmation as a Supreme Court justice. There’s nothing that can be done to stop it. It’s political suicide to even argue about it. Her judicial history and racialist beliefs are irrelevant. Republican appointees to the Court are clobbered with thousands of man-hours of opposition research, and subjected to the kind of intensive questioning that causes progressives to burst into tears when it’s directed at captive terrorists. Democrats fell all over each other racing to the microphones to declare the nomination of mild-mannered Sam Alito to be the most divisive event in American history since the Confederacy attacked Fort Sumter. John Kerry was staggering around Washington barking “right wing” like a robot parrot in need of a software patch. Nobody in the Democrat Party waited to hear a single word from Alito before denouncing him as a white-sheeted avatar of extreme right-wing evil, and his confirmation hearings played out like the latest installment in the “Saw” franchise. (Hey, anyone remember Arlen Specter grilling Alito on the terrifying menace of the “unitary executive?” Ah, those bygone days of 2006, when liberals fretted about the executive having too much discretionary power…) But we can’t so much as raise an objection to Sonia Sotomayor. Liberals of the correct race and gender are the new ruling class, as absolute in their power as any of the later French kings, born with a divine right to rule without question. Every hour Republicans delay in confirming Sotomayor will probably cost them a hundred thousand votes in our increasingly meaningless elections. In fact, if they don’t physically pick her up, carry her into the Supreme Court chamber, and drop her into David Souter’s chair by sunset tomorrow, we can probably skip the 2010 elections altogether.

One of the reasons Sotomayor is a shoe-in is because she’s absolutely devoted to the legal travesty known as Roe vs. Wade. Although the majority of Americans now identify themselves as pro-life, no outspokenly pro-life justice would ever be nominated by Obama, and no such justice nominated by a Republican president could ever be confirmed, no matter how female and wise and Latin she was. The 52% of voters who put Obama in the White House gave him an irresistible mandate to destroy the economy and culture of the United States and rebuild it as he sees fit, but the 51% of Americans who oppose the Roe vs. Wade regime of abortion on demand are an irrelevant minority who should just shut up and shuffle quietly back into their churches. As President Obama explained to the students at Notre Dame in his commencement address, the proper course of action for pro-lifers is to submit to the authority of the pro-choice minority and humbly ask if there’s anything they can do to make themselves useful, provided they keep a lid on all that uncomfortable “baby-killer” talk. Notre Dame apparently agrees with this attitude, since they bestowed honors on a man who is not only completely comfortable with a gigantic number of abortions, but even has nuanced thoughts about outright infanticide.

Gay marriage is coming. There’s nothing you can do about it. If you believe in the traditional definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman, you ought to write those beliefs on the back of a twenty-dollar bill, because then they’ll be worth something. If you publicly object to gay marriage, you’ll be mercilessly destroyed. If your state votes overwhelmingly against gay marriage, like California, the will of the voters will be promptly overturned by a handful of robed philosopher-kings in the judiciary… and if the electoral triumph of those who defend marriage is reinstated, as with California, further challenges will be filed by high-powered legal dream teams. This will continue until the lawyers find a clause, sub-paragraph, penumbra, or emanation that can be used to put the majority of Americans on their knees, in submission to the will of a tiny, politically favored percentage of the population. While the legal challenges continue, the voters of California will be made to face endless gay-marriage referendums, backed by lavishly financed campaigns crackling with Hollywood star power, until they make the “right” decision… at which point the issue will be declared settled for all eternity, and even discussing the idea of another vote will be considered a hate crime.

Socialized medicine is right around the corner. There’s nothing you can do about it. If you don’t want to throw away the technological advances made by American medicine in exchange for the dull, deadly malaise of “free” medicine – whose current victims flee to America for treatment if they have the resources and a lick of common sense – you’re doomed. Democrats want nationalized medicine like Gollum wants his precious ring, because they see it as a perpetual incumbent-protection program that will finally allow them to accuse their political opponents of wanting to kill the voters by arguing in favor of free markets… ushering in a Soviet future where running for office as a Republican will automatically make you an accessory to murder. Democrats have the votes to get what they want. It’s a done deal. If you’re feeling sick, you might want to get in line at your local Department of Motor Vehicles office now, and wait for the first team of government doctors to show up.

Conservatism is dead. People don’t want to hear all that talk about freedom and capitalism any more. Government can do everything, and give it all to you for free. An obscure senator from Illinois with no private-sector experience and a shady political past is better qualified to run banks, auto companies, car dealerships, insurance firms – and, soon, hospitals, pharmaceutical companies, and the Internet – than all of the executives, entrepreneurs, and investors in America combined. If the Republican Party nominates Sarah Palin, Bobby Jindal, Mitt Romney, Mark Sanford, or anyone else except Colin Powell, there’s really no point in having an election in 2012 – it would just distract the Lightworker from his important work of rebuilding America, and waste money that could be better used to subsidize favored Democrat constituencies that didn’t get their fill of pork after the last trillion-dollar giveaway. If the Republicans do run Colin Powell, the re-election of Obama is still a foregone conclusion, but at least the 2012 campaign would serve a useful purpose – namely, giving Powell plenty of media access to remind voters how incredibly special Barack Hussein Obama is.

The advice conservatism receives from its enemies reminds me of the cordial, eminently reasonable request for surrender sent to General McAuliffe, under siege by the Nazis at Bastogne. The Germans pointed out that all was lost, resistance was futile, the Americans had bravely done their duty and could retire from the field with honor… there was no point in making anyone suffer further for an impossible victory. General McAuliffe’s answer was one word, and it’s the same answer conservatives should offer anyone who seriously believes the battle for America’s morality, liberty, and prosperity is over:

NUTS.

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