The Dissing Link: Ida Renounces Evolution and Embraces Creation, Says Pastor

posted at 9:55 am on May 21, 2009 by
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MESSEL PIT, GERMANY (PNN): The scientific community is lauding the discovery of the “missing link,” a 47 million year old fossil named Ida, which they say offers “proof” that humans evolved from primates.

But Ida has now shocked the scientific community even further for apparently coming out in favor of biblical creationism after an encounter with televangelist and faith healer Benny Hinn.

According to Hinn’s website, Ida met with Hinn and was healed of a chronic and painful wrist fracture (see photo below released by Hinn Ministries). The pastor convinced Ida that Darwin was wrong, prompting Ida to re-examine her entire existence.

Hinn claims the following on his website: “Ida met with me and ultimately renounced the satanic forces controlling the Army of Darkness that put a talus bone in her foot in order to lead people away from the literal word of God. This is a cunning and evil enemy we’re up against who often uses paleontologists to spread their anti-Genesis cancer, and I’m pleased that Ida is standing with me in opposing this evil by renouncing her own discovery.”

Ida herself could not be reached for comment, leaving many in the scientific community skeptical of Pastor Hinn’s claims.

It’s also being reported that Ida is considering a lawsuit against Google for using her image without permission, though this couldn’t be verified by press time.

In a related story, an organization called “Americans for Truth in Business Origins” (ATBO) is claiming that Larry Page and Sergey Brin did not create Google, but rather the company evolved from the Dewey Decimal System.

The group supports this claim by referencing the recent discovery of an ancient Dewey card for a book entitled “Be your own plumber.” ATBO claims this proves that Google descended from Dewey during the HTML epoch, because the same book can be accessed via Google, linking the two and establishing Dewey as a Google ancestor.

“The notion that Page and Brin ‘created’ Google has just been disproved,” said one ATBO member.

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Ida, pictured above being healed of a wrist fracture and addiction to Darwinism, has renounced evolution and embraced biblical creation, according to Hinn

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In related news: Charles Johnson has now hired a hitman to take out Ida, and has written a post tying Ida to Euro-neo-Nazis.

andycanuck on May 21, 2009 at 1:26 PM

stop making light of CJ’s OCD – he needs help not snide remarks….poor fella……..

poppieseeds on May 23, 2009 at 9:32 AM

The only problem is that Ida’s species is not in God’s Current Inventory of Animalia.

unclesmrgol on May 24, 2009 at 9:32 AM