A: I would spread the ideals taught to me by my mentor Ann Coulter: invade tyrannical nations, kill their leaders, and convert the populace to Christianity.

Q: Miss Nevada, what are the greatest injustices in this country that have yet to be corrected?

A: Social Security and Roe v. Wade.

WINNER!

Q: Miss Illinois, how would you address unprecedented budget deficits?

A: I would require that 20% of all kickbacks and bribes paid to politicians, government bureaucrats and union leadership be applied directly to the deficit. We should reach a surplus by fall.

or maybe…

Q: Miss Oregon, how would you encourage more fuel efficiency in automobiles?

A: I would increase the taxes on gasoline and offer subsidies for buying alternative fuel vehicles. We must discourage the use of fossil fuels by increasing taxes, just as we must discourage financial success by increasing taxes on income. If we can promote alternative fuel vehicles by subsidizing them, then we can also promote poverty and dependence by subsidizing the poor. wait, um… could you repeat the question?

A: Yes. We have to runaway rinos in Maine who need to be captured and sent to Utah.

Q: Miss Hawaii, to what theme or project would you devote your energies while holding the title?

A: I would push very strongly for the publication of the 44th President’s birth certificate.

ss396 on May 16, 2009 at 11:21 AM

Beat me to it. Right on.

Q: Miss California, what would you do to make this country more accommodating to illegal undocumented immigrants Americans?

Schadenfreude on May 16, 2009 at 11:47 AM

A: Que, Senor Senator Reid?

Q: Miss California, what would you do to make this country more accommodating to illegal undocumented immigrants?

A: Que?

AaronGuzman on May 16, 2009 at 10:51 AM

…because you were not PC – remember the bleeding lefties ask the questions.

A: That’s obvious, right by her man

Q: Miss California, surely you’re for an all green beautiful state of CA.

A: Of course, like Ayn Rand said, the only green that matters is the green of the dollar.

…and as the t-shirt says…. “Baaaa! Means No”

Yes. I’d spend every waking hour trying to make it clear to Americans that Reaganomics is the only way out of this mess and that it was a big mistake to ever elect Barack Obama president. As an African-American myself it pains me to say that, but, no offense intended, it’s just how I feel.

A: I would push very strongly for the publication of the 44th President’s birth certificate.

a beluga sturgeon stuffed in a lamb calf stuffed in a black rhino.

Veal is a calf. Mutton is a lamb.

A: You have my word that the only thing I’ll ever expose is the hoax of global warming

… and, of course, the grip of my “concealed” carry .38 that protrudes from the waist of my bikini bottom. And whoever said “happiness is a warm gun” knew what they were talkin’ about, honey (winks)!

A strong sign that you’ve been watching waaaaaaaaay too much “mainstream” media, you cringe at the answers!

Easydoesit on May 16, 2009 at 10:11 AM

What is it a sign of when you cheer so loudly at some of the answers that you scare the cat?

(Personal fav answers: Miss Vermont, Miss Montana, and Miss Nevada, not strictly in that order.)

A: Que?

Pageants, say statewide Miss Teen and up, would have to employ a former Gitmo Uighur. They’d be in big plastic cages at the side of each stage and serve as the Muslim world’s outrage meter. So that no Uighurs are hurt during the making of the TV broadcasts, the cages would have air holes and colorful nerf TV sets inside to toss around. During bikini segments, those cages should look a bit like the close up during the televised Power Ball drawings.

Actually a good point.

It is more likely that a contestant would answer; “I’m all for gay marriage, man/boy marriage, triads, whatever!”

Wm Shatner: What is it that this world needs the most?

Sandra Bullock: (smiles prettily) Harsher penalties for parole violators, Stan. (awkward audience silence) And…World Peace! (crowd goes wild)

A: Absolutely, and it should be constructed from the bodies of people who were shot trying to cross the border illegally.

Had Sykes said Rush said this first, at that dinner the other night, I bet Barack would have been rolling on the floor.