Green Room

They Don’t Like the Tea Parties Because They Much Prefer Kool-Aid

posted at 6:46 am on April 16, 2009 by

Here’s another post where I reprint some of the stuff I’ve come up with on Twitter. If you think it’s easy to say what you want to say in 140 characters or less, you try it. Or don’t; I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life.

*** Thus begins “This is how I bow to everybody who’s shorter than me!” If only he governed as well as he covers his own butt.


ATTN Jon Stewart: Will you be making funny faces at this one? Hey, one of the reporters should have asked about housing.


How do you say “I’m gonna kick those privates in their pirates” in Austrian?


“We need to revive him. Get my gas can!”


So, POTUS authorized killing some guys because he thought they had weapons they didn’t have? And the left is okay with it?




A Countdown guest just fainted after Olbermann sucked all the air out of the room.


Why do the pirates hate us? And if the U.S. killed them even though they had no ammo, is that better or worse than Gitmo?


Selective outrage: “1, 2, 3, 4, America should stay ashore!” Somehow I don’t think we’ll hear anything like that.


Andrew Breitbart on Jon Stewart: “He’s as fearful of an opposing voice as he is his own last name.” Oh, it’s on.


Question for everybody who thinks the Somali deal was an unqualified success: Why didn’t those guys give up when the Navy arrived?


The underlying assumption in taxing the hell out of the rich seems to be that if you succeed, you must be cheating somehow. Losers take all.


BREAKING: Andrew Sullivan Offers $10,000 Bounty for Sample of Megyn Kelly’s Amniotic Fluid


Dear DHS: It’s great that we have a black president. It’d be even better if our black president was doing a good job.


Wow, Jim Belushi just doesn’t care anymore, does he?


No matter what, Al Franken can take pride in the fact that he got more votes than “Stewart Saves His Family” got dollars.


Somewhere, John Chancellor and David Brinkley are looking down and beaming with pride:


So if I go to a Tea Party, do I get paid off there, right on the spot? Or do they send me a check? Please be more specific, Jane Hamsher.


Tonight on Fringe: The team track down FOX execs who keep letting American Idol go long; infect them with flesh-eating virus; point, laugh.


Ladies and gents, David Burge: I know just enough about the netroots to get the jokes, but not enough to get mad at them.


Why is it Obama only really comes alive when he’s describing what he’s going to make me do and how he’s going to spend my money to do it?


Forget all that stuff about Obama making America look weak in the eyes of the world. False alarm.


You’re angry at me for speculating that Obama’s photo op was fake? Imagine how I felt when you said the same thing about Sarah Palin’s baby.


I just lashed out in a frightening display of rightwing extremism by muttering a rude word when I put my taxes in the mailbox. (“Geithner.”)


Continued my string of savage rightwing extremist acts by flipping through channels, rolling eyes at MSNBC. Later: May make Olbermann joke.


To anybody in the media who might be reading this, here’s a quick refresher course on today’s Tea Parties:


If Janet Napolitano thinks rightwingers are such a threat to national security, why hasn’t she come up with an Orwellian euphemism for them?


BREAKING: Anderson Cooper Giggles Uncontrollably During Report on Italian Archaeologists Unearthing Ancient Roman War Helmet


BREAKING: David Shuster’s 8-Minute Laughing Jag After Referring to Surviving Somalian Kidnapper as “One Angry Pirate” Sends Ratings Nowhere


When you’ve got Greg Gutfeld calling you out for being juvenile and stupid… The Tea Parties bewilder them. I say, good.


Click this sentence to go to my Twitter page and get this nonsense straight from the tap.

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Oh, Doood. Your headline for this post alone deserves a comment, let alone all the work you put into this post.

I can’t believe I’m the only comment!

locomotivebreath1901 on April 16, 2009 at 4:11 PM

Not anymore!

Jim Treacher on April 16, 2009 at 5:25 PM

If Janet Napolitano thinks rightwingers are such a threat to national security, why hasn’t she come up with an Orwellian euphemism for them?

Dear DHS: It’s great that we have a black president. It’d be even better if our black president was doing a good job.

My two faves, keep it up Treacher

thebrokenrattle on April 16, 2009 at 6:40 PM

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