First, They Went After …
posted at 8:00 am on April 15, 2009 by Jules Crittenden
First, they went after the wackjob murderous terrorist Muslims. But I wasn’t a wackjob murderous terrorist Muslim, and wackjob murderous terrorist Muslims had just hijacked four airliners and flown them into office buildings, and the president pointed out they had no beef with law-abiding Muslims, just the wackjob murderous terrorist ones, so I did nothing.
Then, they went after the nail clippers. But I wasn’t a nail clipper, so I did nothing.
Then, they went after the shoes. But I wasn’t a shoe, and some guy had just tried to blow up an airliner with his sneakers, so I thought it probably wasn’t a bad idea.
Then, they went after the grandmothers from Iowa. It seemed pretty absurd, but they were being forced to bend over backward to prove they weren’t going after Muslims, and anyway, the presence of nitwit Australians, diseffected kids from Marin County, and Chicago gangbangers in the ranks of wackjob murderous terrorist Muslims suggested that hey, who knows, maybe a grandmother from Iowa will be next. So I did nothing. A number of people who might now be classed as radicalized rightwing extremists protested, though …
The rest of this heartfelt, handwringing lament here.