Green Room

President Obama’s 10 Most Wanted Rightwing Extremists

posted at 7:51 pm on April 14, 2009 by

Civilian Internal Security Force * * * CONFIDENTIAL BULLETIN

[10] Neal Boortz: Prolific promoter of dangerous ideas such as the “FairTax” and “Tea Parties“. Boortz commands an immense radio audience and frequently appears on television while shamelessly preaching heretical, extremist views such as changing the tax code and reducing the size of government bureaucracies.

[9] Hugh Hewitt: The former child star (“A Christmas Story”) has grown up to become the reported leader of the rightwing Northern Alliance, host of a syndicated radio program and television commentator. Do not approach without electronic warfare support as Hewitt is known to use Twitter at the drop of a hat.

[8] Charles Johnson: An Internet savant who unfairly destroyed the careers of Dan Rather, Adnan Hajj and other upstanding journalists, Johnson should be considered armed (with a keyboard) and dangerous.

[7] Glenn Reynolds: (AKA “Instapundit”) mass purveyor of rightwing propaganda and linkage; performs “blogging” at rates that can only be called dangerous. His family members are also “bloggers” and may be equally radicalized.

[6] Sean Hannity: one of the few rightwing extremists who is fluent in all types of mass media; from radio to television to the Internets. He has become even more radicalized since his partner of many years quit (Alan Colmes). Colmes was reportedly a calming force and tempered Hannity’s extremism. Without that balancing influence, Hannity is said to have become a cheerleader for extremist views like “FairTax” and “Smaller Government”.

[5] Rush Limbaugh: Said to command an army of rightwingers approaching 40 million. Do not approach without RPGs and other heavy weapons.

[4] Michelle Malkin: Rightwing extremist who is not easily pigeon-holed or stereotyped; appears on television and radio; in newspapers and on the Internet. Unlike most other wanted extremists, does not utilize a comb-over as a disguise. Evangelizes radical concepts such as “secure borders”, “strong national defense” and “fiscal responsibility for government.” Therefore, do not approach without overwhelming superior force.

[3] Mark Levin: Highly dangerous and said to be the thought leader behind many rightwing extremists. Known to openly flaunt radical, inflammatory documents such as the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and The Declaration of Independence. Skilled in multiple forms of martial arts and once registered his hands as lethal weapons.

[2] All Veterans: Veterans possess combat skills and experience that are attractive to rightwing extremists. President Obama’s Civilian National Security Force is concerned that rightwing extremists (hereafter referred to as “wingnuts”) either are veterans or will attempt to recruit veterans.

[1] Larwyn: no details are available regarding this shadowy figure, who is said to be the hidden force behind rightwing extremism. A national task force has been assigned to determine the identity of this individual.

Remember, CONTACT the Civilian Internal Security Force (or Rahm Emanuel if the line is busy) should you identify any of these individuals. DO NOT ATTEMPT to engage in a political debate yourself as you WILL lose and likely suffer severe psychological damage.

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Hot Dawg!!! I am at #2 on the list! I just hope I’m paranoid here and nothing is going to …………….. is someone logging my keystrokes even as I type this…..

ArkCon on April 14, 2009 at 7:57 PM

Wow, this administration really has no gratitude. #8, it would seem, redeemed himself when he developed a case of BDS and RDS recently and claimed Obama’s bow was just fine. He lied numerous times to benefit Obama, and what thanks does he get? Getting placed on the enemies list. Tsk tsk.

OneGyT on April 14, 2009 at 8:31 PM

Hey you forgot to post my picture up there as well! 😕

sheebe on April 14, 2009 at 8:34 PM

Sorry, but I take issue with Charles Johnson being considered a conservative, much less one who is under attack.

The man is bizarre at best. Which is fine as bloggers go. He’s nothing if not the quintessential blogger. But he’s not really a conservative. Well, I guess if you consider Bill O’Reilly a conservative I guess Charles would fit.

But not really. He’s sorta nuts.

Jaynie59 on April 14, 2009 at 8:42 PM


Well done.

Hawkins1701 on April 14, 2009 at 9:02 PM

who the hell is directorblue? Is the Greenroom for people that wander by Allahpundit’s undisclosed location? Walk by my window and get your own blog? Well, congratulations on the column.

austinnelly on April 14, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Where’s Ann Coulter?

Percy_Peabody on April 14, 2009 at 9:16 PM

I don’t think #8 wants to be on this list.

AUINSC on April 14, 2009 at 9:28 PM

Well, well. Looks like I’m number 2 with a bullet! Hey, maybe he can send his ‘civilian national security force’ stormtroopers after me. It really says a lot that we have a president with this kind of mentality. This is precisely why I’ve decided against re-enlistment: I will never defend a nation that wants an Obama.

Virus-X on April 14, 2009 at 9:36 PM

Where’s Ann Coulter?

Percy_Peabody on April 14, 2009 at 9:16 PM

Ann Coulter is Larwyn, or maybe Glenn Beck is, or Mary Matalin….?

jimmy2shoes on April 14, 2009 at 9:53 PM

Rove didn’t make the cut?

crosspatch on April 14, 2009 at 10:09 PM

AUINSC: Heh. He doesn’t seem to like HA or MM very much.

4k78 on April 14, 2009 at 10:24 PM

AUINSC: Heh. He doesn’t seem to like HA or MM very much.

4k78 on April 14, 2009 at 10:24 PM

Well, he posted today that he thinks the DHS report is spot on.

AUINSC on April 14, 2009 at 10:32 PM

Yeah, I saw that. 🙁

4k78 on April 14, 2009 at 10:55 PM

Yeah you really need to take Chucky off that list.

broker1 on April 14, 2009 at 10:55 PM

Proud to be a Vet – and now one of the 2nd “Most Wanted” Rightists!

bmac727 on April 14, 2009 at 11:06 PM


Well done!

Tacitus_SGL on April 14, 2009 at 11:14 PM

I hope I make the Top 25! Keep your fingers crossed..

I know I’m just a mere commenter, but I am here every night doing my part. And, hey, behind every Right-Wing Extremist, are MILLIONS of commenters…..

TN Mom on April 14, 2009 at 11:21 PM

Wow I know a whole lot of people that are in the number 2 category. There are a number of them in my family. I’ll have to let them know to watch their back.

Brat4life on April 14, 2009 at 11:24 PM

Gee, Allahpundit really dodged a bullet there.

andycanuck on April 14, 2009 at 11:29 PM

Wow…Michelle is soooo gorgeous in that pic….

Long live the Conservative movement….justice will


dec5 on April 15, 2009 at 2:40 AM

Who is John Galt Larwyn?

Right_of_Attila on April 15, 2009 at 6:39 AM

I don’t know why you bothered to include Charles Johnson- he’s of the opinion that all those crazy conservatives getting worked up about it are off their meds. Oh, and that Michelle Malkin and others (he links to Hot Air) are distorting what the report actually says.

Jay Mac on April 15, 2009 at 7:22 AM

Well done.

ladyingray on April 15, 2009 at 8:05 AM

Charles Johnson is anti-jihad (as long as you don’t criticize him) but he’s neither rightwing or conservative. Indeed, he despises any one that offers even moderate criticism of some of his obsessions. Since he has been in a mood lately to slam any right-of-center writer who dares to talk bluntly about the Obama administration, his creds as a “rightwing extremist” are as a home-grown Noonan/Frum/Brooks-style Moby.

Darleen on April 15, 2009 at 8:41 AM

Charles Johnson has lost his mind and his ability to differentiate Nazis from anti-jihadists. His condemnation of Robert Spencer cannot be forgiven. Spencer or Pam from Atlas Shrugs should replace him on this list.

Perhaps he is a savant, but, if so, he’s an idiot savant.

Disturb the Universe on April 15, 2009 at 11:08 AM

Sweet, I’m #2 as well. But what about the some-odd 65 million firearms owners in America (AmeriKKKa)?

leetpriest on April 15, 2009 at 1:24 PM

Ironic that folks of the right-wing media attack Boortz’s parent company. Yet what puts Boortz at the lowest rung is that he doesn’t try to hide from dissent. Nor does he just look for a fight.

I listen to him more than the Other Guy.

sethstorm on April 15, 2009 at 7:12 PM