You Can Get Anything You Want at Joe Biden's Restaurant

AP Photo/Alex Brandon

If you are younger than my current age of 57 years, you are probably guessing this is going to be a post about skyrocketing food prices. But if you're my age or older, you are probably bracing for a reference to Alice's Restaurant Massacree, and thinking to yourself, it's not remotely close to Thanksgiving, yet. It's too soon. 

To catch up the younger readers on context, Alice's Restaurant is the signature "song" of Arlo Guthrie. I say song, but it's really more of a 18-minute long story narrated to an acoustic guitar riff, with a 30-second chorus at the end. It's about a young man at Thanksgiving dinner who loaded up his Volkswagen Microbus with bags of garbage after the meal and snuck off to illegally dump it, only to have the shame of littering follow him around for the rest of his life. 

It was released in 1967, and was a very tongue-in-cheek look at societal norms during the growing anti-war protest movement. About two-thirds of the way through, Guthrie finds himself in a cell with hardened criminals - the really bad types - murderers, rapists, and the like. But when they find out Guthrie is in for littering, they all moved away from him on the bench. 



The audience predictably laughs at the punchline, because even with the free love, anti-war 60s, everyone, liberal or conservative, could agree what the worst of the worst of humanity were in prison hierarchy. 

In today's Joe Biden-Democratic Party Bizarro World, that's no longer the case. You might think that a civilized society of 320 million people could agree that a serial child rapist is the absolute worst, and should be removed from the rest of society. Instead, Joe Biden nominates a radical judge for the federal bench in the Southern District of New York - Sarah Netburn. Think of her as the federal equivalent of New York Supreme Court Judge Juan Merchan. It's the same neighborhood, same radical ideology. That's the caliber of people Joe Biden has populated the federal bench with for his four years. 

Last Sunday night in Detroit at the NAACP gala dinner, the President sniped at the prospect of Donald Trump coming back to power, and what that would mean for judicial picks. 


In her confirmation hearing this week in the Senate Judiciary Committee, Judge Netburn ran into the one-two punch of Senators John Kennedy and Ted Cruz. It wasn't pretty. 

Kennedy laid out the facts of the case - William McClain pleaded guilty to and was convicted of raping a 9-year old boy, and then later in another episode, raping a 17-year old girl. He also admitted to distributing child pornography to other sex offenders. McClain, during those rare times he's apparently standing, is 6 feet, two inches tall. While incarcerated, he decided he wanted to be a she, changed his name to July Justine Shelby, and asked the court to be transferred to a women's correctional facility. Judge Netburn was only too happy to comply. Here is where Ted Cruz picks up the line of questioning. 



Not even Arlo Guthrie could parody this. This nominee is supremely unqualified for any job necessitating judgment. Once Ted Cruz finished, the Democrats on the Committee, led by appointed-California Senator Laphonza Butler, who really is Maryland's third senator for all intents and purposes having been a long-time resident of the Old Line State, immediately rushed to Judge Netburn's defense. 

Butler allowed her to shore up her own testimony and record, which is contrary to what she submitted to the committee. When Ted Cruz tried to respond, every Democrat on the Committee shut Cruz down. Every Democrat on Senate Judiciary views Netburn's ruling on a repeat child rapist moving to a female prison after claiming a different gender as a feature, not a bug. As a party, they're just not serious on crime. 

On the immigration front, Connecticut's Chris Murphy took to the well of the Senate Wednesday in order to get the upper hand on the immigration front. Joe Biden and Democrats are quite appropriately getting pounded in polling on the issue, and lacking anything constructive, have decided to resurrect the "deal" that Murphy negotiated with James Lankford of Oklahoma. The proposal never had a chance in the Senate, and was dead on arrival in the House according to Speaker Mike Johnson. The same zombie proposal is even more dead this time, because Lankford has bailed on it, calling it no longer a bill, but a Democratic prop. He won't be the only one to turn against it this time, either. Here is Murphy's grandstanding and gaslighting.



Just for the sake of space in this column, let's set aside the obvious fallacies in his argument - that he's 1) conflating legal and illegal immigration, and 2) glossing over the fact that by crossing the border illegally, every single person has committed a felony, making what we've seen under Joe Biden's watch at minimum a 12-15 million person crime wave in and of itself. And that's before you get to left-wing prosecutors all over the country redefining who will be charged with crimes, and if those committing crimes fall into preferred voting bloc categories for the Democratic Party, resulting in charging with misdemeanors instead of felonies, if charges are filed at all. The crime stats Murphy cites are misleading at best.

But focusing on the heart of the proposed legislation - what to do with illegal immigrants flooding the interior of the country, Murphy makes the extraordinary claim that it's a myth that crime is increasing with a rising number of illegals. 

John Binder has compiled perhaps the best blotter of violent crimes reported nationally by recent migrants here illegally over at Breitbart. Here are just a few headlines. 

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Sanctuary State Connecticut: Illegal Alien Freed from Prison After Killing Two Children

Venezuelan Migrant Accused of Molesting Young Boy in Florida

Alabama: Illegal Alien, Freed into U.S., Charged with Murdering 19-Year-Old Adam Luker

Police: Previously Deported Illegal Alien Raped Child in Virginia

Sanctuary State California: ‘Monster’ Illegal Alien Accused of Raping Two Women in ‘Rape Dungeon on Wheels’

Illegal Alien Charged with Murdering Woman, Attacking Two Homeless People in West Virginia

New Mexico Prosecutors: Migrants Gang Raped Deaf Woman in ‘Multi-Hour Nightmare’

Illegal Immigration Overload: Border Town’s Criminal Prosecutions Explode by 5,000% on Biden’s Watch

Report: Illegal Alien Charged in Death of Three-Month-Old Was Deported Under Donald Trump

Catch and Release: Biden’s DHS Freed Illegal Alien Convicted Killer into U.S.

Sanctuary State Rhode Island Freed from Jail Illegal Alien Accused of Sexually Abusing Child

Report: International Jewel Thief, Freed into U.S. from Border, Accused of Stealing $300K of Jewelry in NYC

Illegal Alien Accused of Sexually Assaulting 11-Year-Old Girl After Being Freed into U.S. by Biden’s DHS

That's 13 stories of violent crime specifically by illegal immigrants, many of them as horrific as anything committed by Hamas terrorists in Southern Israel on October 7th. It's happening right here within our borders, and that's just in the first 20 days of May. The final number will be roughly 20 different instances from around the country that get picked up on one news wire or local media report. 

Remember Lake Riley? That murder took place in mid-February. How many Americans have to die in order for Democrats to replenish the farm system for potential voters down the road? 100? 1,000? 10,000? 

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Where are all these people coming from? Bill Melugin of Fox recorded a video walking down a stream of humanity illegally coming into the country, and it is like a mini-United Nations. If the Olympics were a contest of migrant border crossers, the opening ceremonies would look like this. 

Why wouldn't people come here illegally? Why wouldn't they commit crimes, believing they'll get away with it? This is Joe Biden's America. As Arlo Guthrie sang, "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant, excepting Alice."

But when you consider the scores of women that are victims of this crime wave ushered in by Democrats, I guess you can have Alice, too. 

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John Stossel 1:00 PM | June 15, 2024
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