Meet the folk singer who will end hostilities with ISIS

posted at 8:01 am on January 15, 2016 by Jazz Shaw

We saw all sorts of proposals at the GOP debate which are designed to defeat the international threat posed by ISIS. Most of them involve somebody fighting somebody somewhere, but one solution was absent which should have been obvious. Clearly we can get ISIS to come to the table and stop lopping off people’s heads and setting them on fire if we just sing to them. Sound crazy? Crazy like a fox, maybe. And now we’ve got just the guy for the job. Ladies and gentlemen… meet James Twyman. (Fox News)

An Oregon folk singer plans to leave next week to serenade the Islamic State, and he intends to bring the black-clad barbarians a prayerful message of peace — despite a warning from the State Department that his life could be in danger.

James Twyman, of Portland, Ore., told FoxNews.com he feels a “calling” and believes he can soften the hearts of the Islamist army known for beheading Westerners, throwing gays off of buildings and summarily executing innocent women and children.

“It’s going to be pretty powerful,” Twyman said, referring to his plan to have those attending and others around the world sing and pray for peace at the same time. “When people come
together and focus on something in a positive way…there’s scientific evidence that it can change things for the better.”

Twyman will travel to Israel, leaving from there to cross over into western Syria and set up a special concert in ISIS controlled territory. Now, I’m personally a big believer in the power of prayer and positive thinking, but I’m also fairly sure that the Almighty helps those who helps themselves and doesn’t always suffer fools gladly. Once in a generation or so you’ll come across a Daniel who can walk into the lions’ den and emerge unscathed, but I’m pretty sure that history has shown us that the lions wind up fighting over your tastier bits the vast majority of the time.

Now, assuming Twyman actually makes it there without somebody wrestling him to the ground and knocking some sense into him, what happens next? Is it even legal for him to go? Apparently so. But once the terrorists put a bag over his head and load him onto a Toyota pickup truck heading for an undisclosed desert location, do we have an obligation to risk any resources trying to get him back? His family might try to strike some sort of private ransom deal. The guy has published a number of popular books and albums, as well as probably getting some residuals from a couple of movies he’s been in. It sounds like they could come up with a couple of million to buy him back. And they may need to, because the State Department website indicates that he shouldn’t expect much help from Uncle Sam.

“There is a terrorist threat from violent extremist groups including the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, (ISIL), formerly known as Al Qaeda in Iraq (AQ), the al-Nusrah Front, and others,” reads another part of the warning. “U.S. citizens have been specifically targeted for kidnapping, both for ransom and political purposes, and murdered by members of terrorist and violent extremist groups in Syria. U.S. citizens have disappeared within Syria.

“Due to the security situation in Syria, the U.S. government’s ability to help U.S. citizens kidnapped or taken hostage is very limited,” the warning continues.

The problem with this scenario is that he may not be alone. Twyman claims he will be joined by, a large group of Jewish, Muslim and Christian leaders for his concert. Who are these leaders and how did they get talked into this? I’m not sure who’s going to pay to ransom them, but it could add up to a major cash windfall for the terrorists.

Exit question for Friday morning: Please submit your suggested song list for Mr. Twyman to play for Jihadi John jr.

JamesTwyman


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Comments

Comment pages: 1 2

Elvis Costello sings “Peace, Love and Undertaking”.

As in, undertakers handling the remains of this idealistic, fantasizing liberal hippie doofus…

Shirotayama on January 15, 2016 at 10:21 AM

I’m thinking something soft from James Taylor, “You’ve got a friend”

Or Toy Story, “You’ve got a friend in me”

HarryStar on January 15, 2016 at 10:23 AM

This is actually a good idea. If we can get the rest of the people from Portland, Oregon to join him, we can turn Oregon red.

SailorMark on January 15, 2016 at 10:25 AM

I’m torn between Pink Floyds Dogs of War

Dogs of war and men of hate
With no cause, we don’t discriminate
Discovery is to be disowned
Our currency is flesh and bone

Hell opened up and put on sale
Gather ’round and haggle
For hard cash, we will lie and deceive
Even our masters don’t know the webs we weave

One world, it’s a battleground
One world, and we will smash it down
One world … One world

Invisible transfers, long distance calls
Hollow laughter in marble halls
Steps have been taken, a silent uproar
Has unleashed the dogs of war

You can’t stop what has begun
Signed, sealed, they deliver oblivion
We all have a dark side, to say the least
And dealing in death is the nature of the beast

One world, it’s a battleground
One world, and we will smash it down
One world … One world

(One world)
(One world)

The dogs of war don’t negotiate
The dogs of war won’t capitulate
They will take and you will give
And you must die so that they may live

You can knock at any door
But wherever you go, you know they’ve been there before
Well winners can lose and things can get strained
But whatever you change, you know the dogs remain

One world, it’s a battleground
One world, and we will smash it down
One world … One world

……….and Kumbaya

antipc on January 15, 2016 at 10:27 AM

“It’s going to be pretty powerful,” Twyman said, referring to his plan to have those attending and others around the world sing and pray for peace at the same time. “When people come
together and focus on something in a positive way…there’s scientific evidence that it can change things for the better.”

Wait, so now they’re claiming scientific evidence for the power of prayer? This changes everything. I can’t keep up.

SailorMark on January 15, 2016 at 10:28 AM

This is actually a good idea. If we can get the rest of the people from Portland, Oregon to join him, we can turn Oregon red.

SailorMark on January 15, 2016 at 10:25 AM

Good plan.

antipc on January 15, 2016 at 10:28 AM

This guy reminds me of all the religious Syrian refugee supporters. “Oh yes, we need to take ALL those poor refugees! I’m SURE it’ll work out fine!”

Free Indeed on January 15, 2016 at 10:29 AM

This is actually a good idea. If we can get the rest of the people from Portland, Oregon to join him, we can turn Oregon red.

SailorMark on January 15, 2016 at 10:25 AM

Time to start a GoFundMeUs for this humanitarian effort.

Fallon on January 15, 2016 at 10:31 AM

The best song titles have been mentioned but I can a couple …

One Toke Over The Line
We Just Disagree
I Bet My Life
Another One Bites the dust
Save Me

One the other hand, ISIS just may ignore him. I think a song for that would be ‘Miracle’.

TerryW on January 15, 2016 at 10:43 AM

“If I had an infidel
“I’d burn him in the morning
“I’d burn him in the evening
“All over this land

“I’d burn him for danger
“I’d burn him for a waaaarning
“I’d burn up love between our brothers and our sisters
“aaaalll over this land”

–ISIS Fight Song.

Maybe Mr Peace Through Strumming can play this one on his soon-to-be-released video somewhere in the Syrian desert.
Dummy.

orangemtl on January 15, 2016 at 10:53 AM

An Oregon folk singer plans to leave next week to serenade the Islamic State, and he intends to bring the black-clad barbarians a prayerful message of peace…

And when he shows up in a video in an orange jumpsuit, will he be singing, “Give Pleas A Chance?”

bigmacdaddy on January 15, 2016 at 10:57 AM

Elvis Costello sings “Peace, Love and Undertaking”.

As in, undertakers handling the remains of this idealistic, fantasizing liberal hippie doofus…

Shirotayama on January 15, 2016 at 10:21 AM

Actually it’s Understanding”…but you knew that.

Mimzey on January 15, 2016 at 10:57 AM

Liberalism is a mental disorder.

Mimzey on January 15, 2016 at 11:00 AM

Bad things happen when people return from the ME, just sayin’.

antipc on January 15, 2016 at 11:06 AM

Well….. someones gonna lose a head….

cathymv on January 15, 2016 at 11:35 AM

Edwin Starr’s “War”

War, huh yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, oh hoh, oh
War huh yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, say it again y’all
War, huh good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me

Oh, war, I despise
‘Cause it means destruction of innocent lives
War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go off to fight and lose their lives

I said
War, huh good God y’all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, just say it again
War whoa Lord
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
War, it ain’t nothin’ but a heartbreak
War, friend only to the undertaker

Oh war, is an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest within the younger generation
Induction, then destruction who wants to die

War, good God, y’all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, say it, say it, say it
War, uh huh, yeah, huh
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
War, it ain’t nothin’ but a heartbreaker
War, it’s got one friend that’s the undertaker

Oh, war has shattered many young man’s dreams
Made him disabled bitter and mean
Life is much too short and precious to spend fighting wars these days
War can’t give life it can only take it away, ooh

War, huh, good God y’all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, say it again
War, whoa, Lord
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
War, it ain’t nothin’ but a heartbreaker
War, friend only to the undertaker

Peace love and understanding tell me
Is there no place for them today
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But Lord knows there’s got to be a better way

War, huh, good God y’all
What is it good for?
You tell ’em, say it, say it, say it, say it
War, good Lord, huh
What is it good for?
Stand up and shout it, nothing
War, it ain’t nothin’ but a heartbreaker

JackBurtonJr on January 15, 2016 at 11:44 AM

Anything off of Elton John’s album “Don’t Shoot Me, I’m Only the Piano Player

n8dawg on January 15, 2016 at 11:44 AM

My suggestions for music, Slayer, either Hell Awaits or Raining Blood, Exodus either Good Day to Die or One Foot in the Grave or last, but by no means least, GWAR with the song Maggots.

bbinfl on January 15, 2016 at 11:45 AM

antipc on January 15, 2016 at 10:27 AM

Roger Waters was OK with it, until it was revealed he’s stopping in Israel.

ISIS is one thing, but Israel? Now that’s really siding with terrorists.

/

mankai on January 15, 2016 at 11:50 AM

You can look to the left and
Look to the right
But you will live in danger tonight
When the enemy comes he will
Never be heard
He’ll blow your mind and not say a word
Blinding lights, flashing colors
Sleepless nights
If the man with the power
Can’t keep it under control

Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll

The power-mad freaks who are
Ruling the earth
Will show how little they think you’re worth
With animal lust they’ll
Devour your life
And slice your word to bits like a knife
One last day burning hell fire
You’re blown away
If the man with the power
Can’t keep it under control

Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll

Know what it’s like
When you’re taken for granted
There goes your life
It’s so underhanded
If the man with the power
Can’t keep it under control

Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll
Some heads are gonna roll

By The great Judas Priest

bbinfl on January 15, 2016 at 11:56 AM

antipc on January 15, 2016 at 10:27 AM

Definitely Dogs of War – one of my favorites anyway.

dentarthurdent on January 15, 2016 at 12:05 PM

bbinfl on January 15, 2016 at 11:56 AM

This one too.

dentarthurdent on January 15, 2016 at 12:06 PM

Roger Waters was OK with it, until it was revealed he’s stopping in Israel.

ISIS is one thing, but Israel? Now that’s really siding with terrorists.

/

mankai on January 15, 2016 at 11:50 AM

It sux when celebs can’t do what they do best and just STFU.

antipc on January 15, 2016 at 12:09 PM

Nice idea, of course, but music is haram, so they’ll really have no choice but to execute him (assuming they don’t murder him first). On the bright side, he may get a Darwin award out of it.

morganfrost on January 15, 2016 at 1:02 PM

Clearly this guy and his group wanting to go need to see a psych doctor. They have pretty obvious suicidal ideations.

If they kneel down while singing and put their heads on a stump I’m sure the isis folks will be real nice to them and use one quick chop instead of the usual sawing motions with a dull knife they usually behead people with.

This is proof there is no ceiling on stupid.

Andy__B on January 15, 2016 at 1:06 PM

These are my suggestions…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKggnBh2Mdw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fn36l_z3WY

oldleprechaun on January 15, 2016 at 1:14 PM

if we just sing to them

Why not? It worked with the Martians – but only if you yodel.

GWB on January 15, 2016 at 1:17 PM

Twyman claims he will be joined by, a large group of Jewish, Muslim and Christian leaders for his concert.

I’m thinking a large number of those Christian leaders aren’t very Christian.

Twyman’s problem with “prayer and the power of positive thinking” is that he isn’t praying to the omnipotent God of creation, but just offering up his solipsisms to the ether – which is very much more impotent than omnipotent, and deaf to boot.

GWB on January 15, 2016 at 1:21 PM

The crazy world of arthur brown…Fire

jaywemm on January 15, 2016 at 1:52 PM

I’d suggest Eve of Destruction. But then I’m mordant and not filled with musical rainbows and unicorns at this time.

Surellin on January 15, 2016 at 2:13 PM

How am I the first person with this comment?
You guys are slacking!

♪ ‘Cause, what the world needs now
Is another folk singer
Like I need a hole in my head ♬

Cracker, Teen Angst 1992.
And I can’t be the only one here old enough to remember that.

gekkobear on January 15, 2016 at 2:25 PM

Kumbaya My Lord, Kumbaya……………. and
All we are saying is give peace a chance……………. etc.
Oh oh, who’s that masked guy in black with a knife in his hand??

soghornetgunner on January 15, 2016 at 2:45 PM

I’d pay cash money to have him sing “Holy Shiite” by the Day Glo Abortions. Or maybe “Release the Hostages,” from the same album.

arik1969 on January 15, 2016 at 3:54 PM

What’s the over/under on how long before he is beheaded?

jclittlep on January 15, 2016 at 5:39 PM

Let’s do a crowd funding to send Tlaloc and Libfree and others of their ilk along with this dude for support. I’m sure Tlaloc can convince any ISIS fighter, with her elite arguments, to lay down his weapons and knives and hug her!

Old Country Boy on January 15, 2016 at 7:07 PM

Hey, he just might succeed. I’m all for fighting suicide bombers with suicide musicians.

brentspolemics on January 15, 2016 at 7:15 PM

Hopefully he brings bagpipes so he can torture them for a while before they cut his head off

Mr Soames on January 15, 2016 at 7:48 PM

More likely to yield a result than Obama diplomacy.

virgo on January 16, 2016 at 5:08 AM

“Going Out Of My Head”

Anti-Statist on January 16, 2016 at 4:20 PM

Isn’t music forbidden in Islam? Mohammed hatred music.

Queen0fCups on January 16, 2016 at 7:32 PM

Comment pages: 1 2