Obama administration routs scourge of ISIS pink cookies in schools

posted at 4:01 pm on August 23, 2014 by Jazz Shaw

All is well, citizens of Ohio. You are now safe from the Sith-like menace of the Elyria pink cookie.

“New federal nutritional guidelines for school cafeterias has meant the end of a favorite — and locally famous — treat in one northeast Ohio school district. The federal government’s edict to provide healthier foods and cut fats and cholesterol put an end of the sale of the traditional Elyria pink cookie — a buttery sweet treat with pink icing.”

Our friend Irish Spy provides a bit of perspective on this historic victory over the forces seeking to throw down civilization as we know it.

You know, with ISIS and Ukraine and Boko Haram and Chinese fighters buzzing our planes and a rotten economy and… so much else, it’s comforting to know that the United States government is saving us all from a bit too much fat in our diets.

Whew!

What’s the point of all this? At this stage in the game, it wouldn’t even be worth noting were it not for the fact that Jim Geraghty has now made me exceptionally hungry for cookies. But it does serve as the umpteenth layer of examples of the nanny state managing to dump the entire apple cart. (Apple pie cart?) If you found an example of a school serving the kids nothing but a diet of Hot Pockets and pop rocks, it would certainly be a case for the parents and officials – at the local level – to step in with the school board and put a stop to it. But the occasional serving of a local favorite dessert treat?

When you turn that job over to Washington, the seemingly inevitable result is the cleansing of the school system of horrors such as this. Well done, federal government. You’ve made the world a safer, if much stupider place.


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Those cookies are truly evil.

Have you seen Michelle Obama’s bum lately?

Enough said!

Evi L. Bloggerlady on August 23, 2014 at 4:02 PM

Have you seen Michelle Obama’s bum lately?

Enough said!

Evi L. Bloggerlady on August 23, 2014 at 4:02 PM

Mooch has a bigger ass than Kim KardASSian.

ConstantineXI on August 23, 2014 at 4:04 PM

Have you seen Michelle Obama’s bum lately?

How could you miss it?

Bertram Cabot Jr. on August 23, 2014 at 4:05 PM

How could you miss it?

Bertram Cabot Jr. on August 23, 2014 at 4:05 PM

It has it’s own zip code.

ConstantineXI on August 23, 2014 at 4:07 PM

Wait’ll Code Pink hears about this!

formwiz on August 23, 2014 at 4:08 PM

I feel lighter already. Wheeeeee!

BobMbx on August 23, 2014 at 4:08 PM

“Cookies for me but not for thee”
/Moo-chelle

Bitter Clinger on August 23, 2014 at 4:09 PM

Revealed: How Obama SET FREE the merciless terrorist warlord now leading the ISIS horde blazing a trail of destruction through Iraq

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

The U.S. once had Islamic State of Iraq and al-Shams (ISIS) leader Abu Bakr al Baghdadi in custody at a detention facility in Iraq, it was revealed Friday

Al Baghdadi was among the prisoners released in 2009 from the U.S.’s now-closed Camp Bucca near Umm Qasr in Iraq

It is unclear why the U.S. let the merciless al Qaeda leader slip away

Al Baghadadi and his troops took the Iraqi cities of Fallujah and Ramadi earlier this year and conquered Tikrit and Mosul within the last several days

They are now bearing down on Baghdad, burning down everything that stands in their way and carrying out executions on Iraqi civilians, soldiers and police officers

ISIS posted an image today of an officer’s decapitated head tweeted with sickening message: ‘This is our ball. It’s made of skin #WorldCup’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2657231/Revealed-Obama-RELEASED-warlord-head-ISIS-extremist-army-five-years-ago.html

davidk on August 23, 2014 at 4:16 PM

Cobras are a delicacy in China and believed to be good for your health

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2732523/Chef-dies-spitting-cobra-cooking-bit-hand-20-minutes-cut-head-off.html

davidk on August 23, 2014 at 4:21 PM

davidk on August 23, 2014 at 4:21 PM

Yes, I remember that from june 24th when it was published.

gh on August 23, 2014 at 4:23 PM

gh on August 23, 2014 at 4:23 PM

It takes a while to get the newspapers from Britain.

davidk on August 23, 2014 at 4:26 PM

Thanks, Michelle – you fat, obnoxious, slobbering cow.

Pork-Chop on August 23, 2014 at 4:31 PM

davidk on August 23, 2014 at 4:26 PM

What? I read dailymail Online every day….

Barred on August 23, 2014 at 4:32 PM

At what point did the federal government gain this kind of control over school lunches? Is it the USDA free-lunch money that does it?

I really don’t know- any enlightenment?

Dolce Far Niente on August 23, 2014 at 4:32 PM

First they came for the cookies, and I did not speak out—
Because I liked cake………….

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:35 PM

Federal Government more and more = Demented Clowns.

VorDaj on August 23, 2014 at 4:35 PM

How could you miss it?

Bertram Cabot Jr. on August 23, 2014 at 4:05 PM

It has it’s own zip code.

ConstantineXI on August 23, 2014 at 4:07 PM

Well Michelle Obama’s arse has two zip codes.

VorDaj on August 23, 2014 at 4:37 PM

First they came for the cookies, and I did not speak out—
Because I liked cake………….

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:35 PM

If you outlaw pink cookies, then only outlaws will have pink cookies.

LashRambo on August 23, 2014 at 4:39 PM

The NFL needs to make October pink ribbon and pink cookie month.

Watch. Heads. Explode.

Bruno Strozek on August 23, 2014 at 4:43 PM

If you found an example of a school serving the kids nothing but a diet of Hot Pockets and pop rocks, it would certainly be a case for the parents and officials – at the local level – to step in with the school board and put a stop to it.

Hey! I think you are describing the diet of one of HA’s most prolific trolls. But only when his mom is home to make the Hot Pockets.

Seriously, I get it that our precious snowflakes should be eating healthy. When I was living in MI, the local school got busted for serving “cheese toast” as an entrée. But federal intervention to this level is offensive. And how many stories about kids rejecting Mooch’s choice before we can have a real discussion about nutrition standards. The filthy Yeti isn’t even a nutritionist. Just a very angry racist black women with a podium and the wiliness to spread myths like the idea that there are food deserts in America’s cities.

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:43 PM

First they came for the cookies, and I did not speak out—
Because I liked cake………….

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:35 PM

If you outlaw pink cookies, then only outlaws will have pink cookies.

LashRambo on August 23, 2014 at 4:39 PM

Why I enjoy reading HotAir…..

Barred on August 23, 2014 at 4:44 PM

And why didn’t MKH get this story? It’s SO MKH.

LashRambo on August 23, 2014 at 4:44 PM

Have you seen Michelle Obama’s bum lately?

Enough said!

Evi L. Bloggerlady on August 23, 2014 at 4:02 PM

It is not her bum but her soul that is troubling

kenny on August 23, 2014 at 4:44 PM

Federal Government more and more = Demented Clowns.

VorDaj on August 23, 2014 at 4:35 PM

I’m no fan but I don’t see how this has anything to do with Joe Biden.

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:45 PM

If you outlaw pink cookies, then only outlaws will have pink cookies.

LashRambo on August 23, 2014 at 4:39 PM

Combine this story with the one from last week where schools are banning bake sales and you can see where we’re headed. An underground market in baked goods. PTAs selling carrot cake in back alleys. Children being suspended for CCC (carrying concealed cupcakes). Where will the madness end?

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:52 PM

BTW- It would be really interesting to find out if the ultra-exclusive school where the Obama brats attend complies with the First Yeti’s nutritional guidelines. I’d bet that the scions of the most influential families in DC are not deprived of pink cookies. Paying over $50K/year for school gets you pink cookies without judgment.

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:55 PM

The NFL needs to make October pink ribbon and pink cookie month.

Watch. Heads. Explode.

Bruno Strozek on August 23, 2014 at 4:43 PM

And rename the “Redskins” the “Blackbirds.”

PersonFromPorlock on August 23, 2014 at 5:05 PM

The tasteless crap Michelle has forced schools to serve goes straight into the garbage cans, and students go hungry.

The poor kids are already at a disadvantage, being stuck in government run schools with union thug teachers, at least feed the poor dears.

It should also be noted that young children NEED much more fat than adults do. It’s one thing to reduce sugar, but trying to force them all into paleo-vegan diets is just doing more harm than good.

As with most Obama policies.

Adjoran on August 23, 2014 at 5:16 PM

This administration only takes on battles it knows it can win.

Oxymoron on August 23, 2014 at 5:27 PM

Well done, federal government.

Sure as heck isn’t a federal government any more, at all.

GWB on August 23, 2014 at 5:38 PM

Words fail me.

Civil and polite words, that is.

socalcon on August 23, 2014 at 5:44 PM

An underground market in baked goods. PTAs selling carrot cake in back alleys. Children being suspended for CCC (carrying concealed cupcakes). Where will the madness end?

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:52 PM

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!

Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…

The dead rising from the grave!

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

Well, that’s what I heard!

Kraken on August 23, 2014 at 5:46 PM

Have you seen Michelle Obama’s bum lately?

I think he is on the golf course.

DAT60A3 on August 23, 2014 at 5:47 PM

When you turn that job over to Washington, the seemingly inevitable result is the cleansing of the school system of horrors such as this. Well done, federal government. You’ve made the world a safer, if much stupider place.

That is solely because they have chosen to take the Kings Shilling.

Stop the Federal money train and idiotic nonsense like this would stop overnight from the Federal level. You’re still going to have your State and local busy bodies, but not the Feds. The problem is letting go of the Government Teat.

Johnnyreb on August 23, 2014 at 5:53 PM

The problem is letting go of the Government Teat.

Johnnyreb on August 23, 2014 at 5:53 PM

Once you accept the geld, it is difficult to get…un-gelded.

Kraken on August 23, 2014 at 6:02 PM

The reason the feds can dictate like this is because the schools are eager to get those yummy federal funds. States have the right to turn down federal funds, but if you’re gonna be a whore you gotta do what your John wants without gagging.

jbspry on August 23, 2014 at 6:14 PM

Pink Cookies? I thought that was the pet name Oprah and Gayle King used with each other.

jangle12 on August 23, 2014 at 6:15 PM

Time for a little “pink cookie” civil disobedience. Well on second thought, maybe not; some kid might chew one into the shape of gun or something.

Dan_NV on August 23, 2014 at 6:21 PM

Hot Pockets and pop rocks,

Hot Pockets stuffed with pop rocks would be awesome.

BL@KBIRD on August 23, 2014 at 6:23 PM

Guess who’s gonna eat all dem confiscated pink cookies:

That FL with the BB in the WH.

Sherman1864 on August 23, 2014 at 6:38 PM

Have you seen Michelle Obama’s bum lately?

I think he is on the golf course.

DAT60A3 on August 23, 2014 at 5:47 PM

HAH! Good one.

BTW- It would be really interesting to find out if the ultra-exclusive school where the Obama brats attend complies with the First Yeti’s nutritional guidelines. I’d bet that the scions of the most influential families in DC are not deprived of pink cookies. Paying over $50K/year for school gets you pink cookies without judgment.

Happy Nomad on August 23, 2014 at 4:55 PM

It seems to me, the Obama children have attended Sidwell Friends School. Check out their menu. Frankly, Happy Nomad, I think your guess would be wrong. It looks like Moochelle’s finger prints are all over their food choices: https://www.sidwell.edu/documents/menus/US-MS-menu-march.pdf

Sweet wheatberry salad? Arugula, Fennel and Parmesan salad? Curried Quinoa salad? Even the “regular fare” comes with the caveat, “all natural.”

theotherone on August 23, 2014 at 7:00 PM

But they are getting salad and yogurt bars instead.

Cindy Munford on August 23, 2014 at 7:11 PM

DOCTORS may tell us what we should eat, based on an examination and suggesting that it would be in our best interest to cut some things from our diet, or tell us we’re doing just fine. GOVERNMENT? They’re treating people like they’re all obese and neither they nor their parents can judge for themselves what a proper diet should consist of. Bugger off, big government, bugger off.

scalleywag on August 23, 2014 at 8:04 PM

And why didn’t MKH get this story? It’s SO MKH.

LashRambo on August 23, 2014 at 4:44 PM

Is that a sexist comment? WELL, IS IT!!!???

oldleprechaun on August 23, 2014 at 8:20 PM

If all the parents sent their kids to school with a brown bag lunch, the lunch programs would have to be shut down. Barring that, parents can go to school board meetings and insist the feds be kicked out.

hopeful on August 23, 2014 at 8:27 PM

This guy is going to very disappointed.

Bigfoot on August 23, 2014 at 9:14 PM

Just another flavor of control by the feds. All the while, dear leader enjoys chef prepared meals and pie claimed to be better than crack. CC and the new version of history being taught are the real enemies of our future.

Kissmygrits on August 24, 2014 at 8:48 AM