Archie to be shot dead while saving gay best friend who called for gun control

posted at 2:01 pm on July 14, 2014 by Allahpundit

My thoughts exactly:

We should have known. There’s campy, there’s John Waters campy, and then there’s wearing a crown to school every day.

No, actually, the gay friend here is Kevin Keller, whom they introduced back in 2010 and then married off in 2012 in the first “Archie” gay wedding. Having re-written the “boy torn between two girls” storyline eight thousand times in the past 75 years, the writers wanted something more “impactful,” to borrow an atrocious word favored by the company’s CEO. That’s understandable, but … they work for Archie comics. They’re not “impactful,” by definition. Sticking Archie Andrews in the middle of an assassination narrative is like redoing “Goofus and Gallant” so that Goofus is a meth head. When you lose the innocence, you lose part of the charm.

Coming next month to “Archie”: Betty’s forced to scrape together eight bucks for birth control when her boss cuts off coverage after the Hobby Lobby ruling.

In “Life with Archie,” Keller is a married military veteran and newly elected senator who’s pushing for more gun control in Riverdale after his husband was involved in a shooting.

“We wanted to do something that was impactful that would really resonate with the world and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone,” said Goldwater. “That’s how we came up with the storyline of saving Kevin. He could have saved Betty. He could have saved Veronica. We get that, but metaphorically, by saving Kevin, a new Riverdale is born.”…

“Archie is not a superhero like all the rest of the comic book characters,” said Goldwater. “He’s human. He’s a person. When you wound him, he bleeds. He knows that. If anything, I think his death is more impactful because of that. We hope by showing how something so violent can happen to Archie, that we can — in some way — learn from him.”

I kinda like that they decided to kitchen-sink the “impactfulness” by making the story about gun control and about Archie’s respect for his gay friend. One or the other would have sufficed for buzz; either some random character dies in a shooting or Archie somehow dies protecting Keller. Instead, they’re grabbing hot topics by the fistful and flinging them at the wall. I wish, frankly, they would have gone way over the top and added a few more — the shooter, enraged by Israel’s actions in Gaza, is apprehended by Riverdale’s newest resident, a handsome illegal immigrant from Guatemala named Jose. Why be impactful when you can be the impactfullest?


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Impactful?
The shooter turns out to be a Catholic priest who sodomized the gun control gay guy 10 years ago. The gay guy provided sperm so Veronica could birth his child, and he and Jughead were boarding a plane for their destination wedding in California. They had plans to honeymoon in Colorado, blowing ganja and each other for a real Rocky Mountain high.

gonnjos on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

oscarwilde on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

You beat me to it.

wifarmboy on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

So Jughead gets Betty and Veronica? Nice.

Seth Halpern on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

When will one of the young ladies have their first abortion?

crosshugger on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

They’ve all undoubtedly already had at least one, of course – and are stronger, freer, empowered, more vibrant young independent healthy women as a result.

Midas on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

“We wanted to do something that was impactful…”

How about this following plot??

“An average white man got shot by illegal alien while trying to save an old woman during one of many daily robberies outside the WH.”

Now that’s impactful.

poxoma on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

To libfree….no one will be chortling on the day of reckoning….yuk it up furball….

crosshugger on July 14, 2014 at 2:34 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

You have to care about a comic that was tired and old when I was a yoot to be pissed, this is simply pathetic, but at least it’s chock-full of opportunities to ridicule.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:34 PM

It’s a strange world we live in today.. just read that Gene Simmons is defending Tim Tebow while Archie died defending his gay friend JugHead.

JellyToast on July 14, 2014 at 2:34 PM

LOL….

William Eaton on July 14, 2014 at 2:34 PM

The moral of this story:

Pack heat, not fudge.

Pork-Chop on July 14, 2014 at 2:35 PM

I used to really like Archie comics as a kid, but I didn’t even know they still existed. Does anyone read Archie comics anymore? My kids don’t, and I doubt they have even heard of Archie, Jughead and the gang. This sounds like a pathetic publicity stunt designed to attract attention to a comic book series that is otherwise largely forgotten.

Little Napoleon on July 14, 2014 at 2:35 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

Laugh now, cry later sucker…

oscarwilde on July 14, 2014 at 2:35 PM

Archie is still a comic? I guess old white fat guys still need to read some entertainment somewhere.

RSbrewer on July 14, 2014 at 2:35 PM

What a f*cking 24/7 clown show this country has become.

Midas on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

… annnnnd … *cue* the f*cking clowns…

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

If nothing else, your timing is impeccable.

Midas on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

I think they killed the real Archie at least 45-years ago! This one has been an imposter.

tomshup on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

The FX program Legit had a similar premise where the comedian lead character did a bit about gun control and got shot outside the club immediately thereafter. Lefties love the idea of martyrdom at the hands of a gun rights advocate, but it never happens in real life so they continue to fictionalize it until they finally get their wish.

Dead Hand Control on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Leftists hate everything about America and want it all to burn.

faraway on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

So, you’re happy that Archie got shot?

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

I hope the shooter is an intolerant, racist Tea Party member.
Y’know, so it’ll be more real life, ‘n all…

In our next episode, Bugs Bunny is surroundied by the other forest animals for a ‘teaching moment’, when he’s caught making fun of poor Elmer Fudd who obviously, by his speech impediment, has ‘special needs’.

orangemtl on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

if Comic Book Guy and Big Bang Theory have taught us anything, Archie’s demise is way way overdue

casel21 on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

Archie proves that he is the real jughead for not going concealed carry…

Roc on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

….Tune in next week to see Captain America give Superman a Blowjob.

You know it’s gonna happen, right?

portlandon on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

The Archie staff has said the comic series will now concentrate on the history of the characters, portraying them when they were younger, even as little kids.

Which means they can delay the issue which reveals the killer until the GOP has nominated their 2016 candidate.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

The prospect of what they’re going to be doing with Popeye and Bluto is already giving me nightmares.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

Wolverine has chunks of guys like Archie in his stool sample…

JohnGalt23 on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM
Haha! I bet there’s 4 people on the planet who know what that’s from.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:19 PM

LOL! That’s the late Phil Hartman doing Sinatra on SNL. Good one!

BTW – from talking to a couple of firearm instructors, two of the largest groups of people getting their firearm permits… Women and the LGBT community.

PermanentWaves on July 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

The moral of this story:

Pack heat, not fudge.

You are a terrible, insensitive person.
Well done, sir!

orangemtl on July 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

So will they be shutting down the comic now?

Or will it be run like Garfield minus Garfield?

ajacksonian on July 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

Folks, you just can’t make this shit up. Lolz! Oh…….wait……..never mind……….

Bmore on July 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

@allahpundit did not know jughead was gay.

— Bruce Wolf (@BruceWolfChi) July 14, 2014

Didn’t you know?

“Jughead is the king of Queen Archie’s world”.

DethMetalCookieMonst on July 14, 2014 at 2:39 PM

….Tune in next week to see Captain America give Superman a Blowjob.

You know it’s gonna happen, right?

portlandon on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

Gives new meaning to the Man of Steel. :)

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:39 PM

Oh… and a little tid bit of trivia for those, less than knowledgeable regarding the history of the Internet.


Archie

Veronica

Jughead

oscarwilde on July 14, 2014 at 2:39 PM

Another American Institution shot to Hell by Liberals.

The Lions are waiting in the Coliseum. Caligula and his horse approve.

kingsjester on July 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

If Doonesbury ever goes leftwing then I’m done with it.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

Yeah, we’re real Pizzed about a COMIC BOOK.

News flash for you..most of us don’t read what you use
every day in the class room….

ToddPA on July 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

If Doonesbury ever goes leftwing then I’m done with it.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

Heh!!

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:41 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

Just throw it in a dumpster, or burn it for fuel like they do in Oregon. That would really help demystify what you people believe.

sharrukin on July 14, 2014 at 2:41 PM

“Archie is not a superhero like all the rest of the comic book characters,” said Goldwater.

.
WAIT! The guy’s name is Goldwater?
.
Anyhoo… is Veronica going to reveal a secret life as a dominatrix while still seeking the richest marriage opportunity in Riverdale? That would be a good, impactful subplot. Hey, kids! Watch Veronica beat a man until he says the “safe” word! Or have they already done that?

ExpressoBold on July 14, 2014 at 2:42 PM

A REPORT FROM THE NATIONAL COALITION OF ANTI-VIOLENCE PROGRAMS (NCAVP)
2013 RELEASE EDITION
LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, QUEER AND HIV-AFFECTED HATE VIOLENCE IN 2012

 
RACIAL/ETHNIC IDENTITY OF OFFENDERS
 
In 2012, Black and African American offenders represented 40.7%
 
http://www.avp.org/storage/documents/ncavp_2012_hvreport_final.pdf

 
*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 2:42 PM

You have to care about a comic that was tired and old when I was a yoot to be pissed, this is simply pathetic, but at least it’s chock-full of opportunities to ridicule.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:34 PM

You mean like the retrospective where “the gang” fondly remembers sitting around in footie pajamas, drinking hot chocolate, and enrolling in Obamacare?

Happy Nomad on July 14, 2014 at 2:42 PM

I was born in 1953 and grew up reading all of the comic books of the 1960′s including “Archie”. Today, after reading this story, I feel somewhat sad, disappointed, and a little bit violated. Can’t anything from those days be left alone?

Cherokee on July 14, 2014 at 2:43 PM

But Archie’s not dead, you see in the next issue there is only one way to save his life, embryonic stem cells. But there is no time to wait for the lab to send them they have to send Veronica to the Planed Parenthood clinic where she is met by protesters who mistakenly think she is going in for an abortion and they rape and kill her all the while shouting “abortion is murder”. Then Archie dies. But Veronica isn’t dead. But the only way to save her is to take advantage of an experimental treatment that includes hormones like those used for birth control but Veronica works for Hobby Lobby and they won’t cover the treatment and she dies. So now Betty gets a job at the library adopts a dozen cats and lives in a house filled with little porcelain rabbits.

Gwillie on July 14, 2014 at 2:43 PM

the shooter, enraged by Israel’s actions in Gaza, is apprehended by Riverdale’s newest resident, a handsome illegal immigrant from Guatemala named Jose. Why be impactful when you can be the impactfullest?

Allah, why you ackin’ so cray cray?

abobo on July 14, 2014 at 2:44 PM

The prospect of what they’re going to be doing with Popeye and Bluto is already giving me nightmares.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on July 14, 2014 at 2:37 PM

“I am what I am, and that’s all that I am…”

“I’m strong to the finish, cause I eats me spinach…”

“That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more…”

“Where’s Poopdeck Pappy?”

Midas on July 14, 2014 at 2:44 PM

Happy Nomad on July 14, 2014 at 2:42 PM

Diet Coke all over the monitor…again.

kingsjester on July 14, 2014 at 2:44 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

If you don’t know where babies come from by this time, then it isn’t up to us to explain it to you.

Happy Nomad on July 14, 2014 at 2:44 PM

If Doonesbury ever goes leftwing then I’m done with it.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

.
Here’s a fork… hold that while I get my knife….

ExpressoBold on July 14, 2014 at 2:45 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

Demystify?

What next from you?
Blacks are only 3/5 of a normal person?

sentinelrules on July 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM

Of course there’s a cliffhanger on who the shooter is, and I can readily imagine who that will turn out to be.

Five bucks says it’s a disgruntled conservative woman from Alaska named Sara Paleen who was wearing a Gadsden-logo shirt when she did the crime.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

If they wanted to ACTUALLY surprise people, in addition to being more real, the killer will be the gay lover of the target. (Or maybe ex-gay lover.)

Odds of that happening? I have a better chance of winning the lottery. (And I’ve never bought a ticket.)

makattak on July 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

There’s no mystery to it.

Abortion ends a human life.

kingsjester on July 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM

And you blog about it… giving them exactly what they wanted… facepalm!

Kaptain Amerika on July 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM

And with his dying breath, Archie will gasp, “The needs of teh ghey outweigh the needs of the many or—those who can reproduce.”

dreadnought62 on July 14, 2014 at 2:47 PM

Midas on July 14, 2014 at 2:44 PM

Making fun of seamen are ya?/

Flange on July 14, 2014 at 2:47 PM

A comic tragedy. Archie used to be such a nice story line. Not it’s just a weird political editorial.

On the bright side at least Spiderman isn’t gay. Not yet anyway. I’m sure his inability to maintain a lasting relationship with his girl friends.

On that note, Archie is the one with all the girl friends but not really close to any of them as a boy friend. I think Archie really is gay and his friend Keller was just protecting Archie’s choice to remain in the closet.

Its all about choice, you see, the politically correct choice.

This is too easy and takes little imagination. I should such a cake job writing politically editorial comic strips.

Lawrence on July 14, 2014 at 2:47 PM

ExpressoBold on July 14, 2014 at 2:42 PM

Idiot.

Veronica marries an Illinois state senator, gets a high-paying hospital administrator job whose only duty is to kick people out of the place, and when her husband is elected Preznit she quits her position which curiously disappears after her departure.

Veronica then goes on to the WH, gnaws on lobster tail every day, plants mercury-tainted veggies out back, preaches to everyone to eat better while her own azz balloons, and steals all the silverware on the day she finally leaves.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:47 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

How perceptive of you.

Now get back to preaching against income inequality while the state redistributes money from those poorer than you to your bank account.

gwelf on July 14, 2014 at 2:47 PM

They still make Archie “Comics”? Not very comical anymore, apparently.

sadatoni on July 14, 2014 at 2:48 PM

So Jughead gets Betty and Veronica? Nice.

Seth Halpern on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

Except he won’t know what to do with either of them.

Kensington on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

If you don’t know where babies come from by this time, then it isn’t up to us to explain it to you.

Happy Nomad on July 14, 2014 at 2:44 PM

Lolz! He is totally convinced that with just a bit more practice with the way he is currently doing it he will soon being pregnant. Then the only question remaining to him is, will he abort?

Bmore on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

I remember the comic strip from way back– he always had two girl friends-I think the rich one was Veronica and the average one waS Betty. The political impact of this outrageous pandering will be lost, i feel, because most Americans (like me) were unaware of the the comic strip’s continued existence. The good news, if Archie really dies,it means the comic strip is over.

But they could have used a little more imagination. Instead of Archie having a gay friend, he should have come out of the closet and proudly admitted to being a gay comic strip hero. Furthermore, Betty and Veronica are two transvestites in drag. This admission so enrages Ted Cruz and Pat Buchanan that they legally purchase Mac-10 machine guns from a billionaire, gay bashing-who ALSO hates blacks, Hispanics and Jews-, Republican arms dealer and irresponsibly blasts all three to death in a crowded movie theater, killing 43 other patrons as collateral damage.

MaiDee on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

Haha! I bet there’s 4 people on the planet who know what that’s from.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:19 PM

Ha Phil Hartman doing Frank Sinatra???

Ann on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

Surely they could have found away to insert a sympathetic Betty/Veronica abortion sub-storyline in there somewhere?

Robert_Paulson on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

Pregnancy via rape, of course. That might clash with the gun control narrative, though.

Pablo on July 14, 2014 at 2:11 PM

Nah. After years of teasing JugHead, Veronica realizes why she never married. She’s always been attracted to Betty, and could never admit it to herself. Betty, while still thinking of herself as heterosexual, is deeply troubled by Archie’s death. She succumbs to the advances of her arch-rival Veronica, and realizes that she’s been bisexual all along. Betty decides to get a partial sex-change operation and a tasteful tattoo. It changes its name to Bert. Veronica proposes, Bert accepts, and they have the occasional threesome with random Riverdalers. Everybody’s happy.

Fenris on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

So will they be shutting down the comic now?

Or will it be run like Garfield minus Garfield?

ajacksonian on July 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

I think he just dies in this series –
which means he doesn’t really.
And can’t, actually.

verbaluce on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

being=be, sorry laughing too much. ; )

Bmore on July 14, 2014 at 2:50 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

Yup, we’re horrified. What will become of political conservatism without Archie, our anchor and our muse?

Good Solid B-Plus on July 14, 2014 at 2:50 PM

BTW, why no story about Bill Waterson guesting on “Pearls Before Swine”? The creator of my favorite comic guesting on my second favorite comic? Heaven!

DethMetalCookieMonst on July 14, 2014 at 2:50 PM

As long as he dies. I don’t care about the “how.”

I thought that the “Archie” comics sucked when I was a kid more than 40 years ago. I’m amazed that they are still around.

Spurius Ligustinus on July 14, 2014 at 2:51 PM

Previous Version:
Archie eaten by a shark,
Jumping over it…

Haiku Guy on July 14, 2014 at 2:51 PM

Nobody cares.

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

Nobody that matters, that is.

nobar on July 14, 2014 at 2:51 PM

You are they going to replace him with to sing “sugar, sugar”.

RickB on July 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM

So will they be shutting down the comic now?

Or will it be run like Garfield minus Garfield?

ajacksonian on July 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

I think he just dies in this series –
which means he doesn’t really.
And can’t, actually.

verbaluce on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

That was not the comment I was referencing when I asked you if you had ever responded to ajacksonian.

Bmore on July 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM

So Jughead gets Betty and Veronica? Nice.

Seth Halpern on July 14, 2014 at 2:33 PM

Actually, Jughead was probably getting Betty and Veronica in a FFM threesome for quite some time now. At least as long as he kept feeding their habits…

bofh on July 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

A good first step would be to stop calling your position “Pro Choice.” Man up and call it what it is, “Pro Abortion.”

Mitoch55 on July 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM

I remember when Sgt. Fury realized that the Japanese were simply responding to American imperialist aggression, and the good sergeant then joined the IJA fighting his former baby-killing comrades.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.
libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

“No uterus, no right to talk about it!”

Good Solid B-Plus on July 14, 2014 at 2:53 PM

Cannot comprehend how anyone can put up with the astounding stupidity of the bureaucracy surrounding the government and your kids, NOW the comic books are brain washing ‘em.

Tard on July 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

For years, SSM proponents kept saying “how is my SSM going to impact you?” always implying that if we dared question we were H8Rs. But of course, it was always a smokescreen while the real brainwashing of our kids, in every aspect of their lives that they could, was aggressively being pursued. And it sure didn’t take long.

Just yesterday I spoke with an old friend I haven’t seen in years who had moved away. She has a daughter who’s just graduated HS. Beautiful, tall girl, like a model. My friend told me she’s gay. Surprised, I asked, “Did you see this coming?” My friend, who is a very young and “with it” mom, said “No way. But that’s all they hear about in school.”

ncinca on July 14, 2014 at 2:53 PM

They still make Archie “Comics”? Not very comical anymore, apparently.

sadatoni on July 14, 2014 at 2:48 PM

The “comic book” of today is named “libfreeordie”. It’s about an idiot who deperately tries to find a purpose in life.

Cherokee on July 14, 2014 at 2:53 PM

It seems there are 2 Archie series –
‘Archie’ and ‘Life With Archie;.
My guess is he’ll only ‘die’ in the latter,
and he’ll live on in the former.
And they’ll sell a lot of both.

verbaluce on July 14, 2014 at 2:53 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester.
 
libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

 
What’s to demystify? Even you acknowledge it ends (mostly brown) babies’ lives:
 

When a conservative blogger says body count is immaterial when comparing a crisis, he better not also come out as pro- life.
 
libfreeordie on July 13, 2014 at 4:38 PM

 
There’s no mystery to it. It’s just that most people don’t think killing children is a proper and moral thing to do.

rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 2:54 PM

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:47 PM

.
You’re the idiot!
.
None the two paragraphs following “Idiot” in your post is possible! It’s impossible! Read me? IMPOSSIBLE!

ExpressoBold on July 14, 2014 at 2:54 PM

verbaluce on July 14, 2014 at 2:49 PM

That was not the comment I was referencing when I asked you if you had ever responded to ajacksonian.

Bmore on July 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM

?

verbaluce on July 14, 2014 at 2:55 PM

People read Archie Comics?
–Everyone

Gatsu on July 14, 2014 at 2:55 PM

This’ll certainly have quite an impact on the children, as so many of them love to read Archie on their smartphones. So, what are the odds the shooter’s wearing a “Don’t tread on me t-shirt?”

The Grinch on July 14, 2014 at 2:56 PM

“Archie is not f**king Mr. Wetherbee!”

DethMetalCookieMonst on July 14, 2014 at 2:59 PM

So, you’re happy that Archie got shot?

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Archie’s not real. He’s had a long life in Americana. Clearly someone is buying the comics, and apparently, their market research says this is what they want. Otherwise, why would they do it? It’s only a good free market when it supports what you like. Vote with your dollars and buy some archie comics and write into the editors and say “we want straight archie!!1″ etc.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:59 PM

If only Archie was packing heat.

MCGIRV on July 14, 2014 at 3:00 PM

There’s campy, there’s John Waters campy, and then there’s wearing a crown to school every day.

Jughead? I thought we were calling him Jug Ears.

James on July 14, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Oh, fer f*ck’s sake. How pathetic can you get.

dorkintheroad on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

There’s no mystery to it. It’s just that most people don’t think killing children is a proper and moral thing to do.

rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 2:54 PM

Then don’t fight the depiction of women who have abortions and go on about their lives and are fine. Because there are many of them. If you are so confident that it’s simply about people who think murder is wrong, versus people who don’t, then you shouldn’t oppose its depiction because no cultural image could overcome that basic belief.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

ExpressoBold on July 14, 2014 at 2:54 PM

Pinhead, do you stick your skull in a pencil sharpener and wind the handle?

Betty becomes SoS while Veronica is First Lady, bet you didn’t know that either.

While acting as Sos, Betty appoints the aforementioned gay dude Kevin Keller as ambassador to Libya and then…well I don’t want to spoil it for you. Let’s just say that Jughead’s career as an amateur youtube filmmaker gets put on hold for a while

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

The Archie staff has said the comic series will now concentrate on the history of the characters, portraying them when they were younger, even as little kids.

They did that decades ago with “Lil’ Archie”.

Yes…….I used to read Archie comics…..

DethMetalCookieMonst on July 14, 2014 at 3:03 PM

We wanted to do something that was impactful…

Really? Who the hell reads “Archie” anymore? I hope this means the end of the comic.

rickv404 on July 14, 2014 at 3:05 PM

Pinhead, do you stick your skull in a pencil sharpener and wind the handle?

Betty becomes SoS while Veronica is First Lady, bet you didn’t know that either.

While acting as Sos, Betty appoints the aforementioned gay dude Kevin Keller as ambassador to Libya and then…well I don’t want to spoil it for you. Let’s just say that Jughead’s career as an amateur youtube filmmaker gets put on hold for a while

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

Ha ha ha. You win this thread.

gwelf on July 14, 2014 at 3:06 PM

You mean there is still an Archie comic strip? Who knew?

I haven’t read the comics since…well, whatever decade it was when I last read a dead-tree paper. I think it was during the Clinton years.

CJ on July 14, 2014 at 3:06 PM

Archie’s not real. He’s had a long life in Americana. Clearly someone is buying the comics, and apparently, their market research says this is what they want. Otherwise, why would they do it? It’s only a good free market when it supports what you like. Vote with your dollars and buy some archie comics and write into the editors and say “we want straight archie!!1″ etc.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:59 PM

Wow, comics are liberal? This changes everything!

The left controls a pretty hefty majority of the news, pop culture and even “high” culture, yet they still can’t get widespread support for most of their policy positions. Have you ever thought that maybe your ideas just aren’t that good?

Good Solid B-Plus on July 14, 2014 at 3:06 PM

Then don’t fight the depiction of women who have abortions and go on about their lives and are fine. Because there are many of them.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

Like the Nazi guard writing in the journal, complaining that he can’t get any sleep because of the screams from the prisoners.

sentinelrules on July 14, 2014 at 3:06 PM

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

How do you know they’re “fine”…because they say so?

Yes, persesser. The concept of right and wrong is still alive in American Society. Even if callous Libs, such as yourself, don’t believe in the concept.

kingsjester on July 14, 2014 at 3:06 PM

Goofus is a meth head

Always suspected that guy.

John the Libertarian on July 14, 2014 at 3:07 PM

Archie’s not real. He’s had a long life in Americana. Clearly someone is buying the comics, and apparently, their market research says this is what they want. Otherwise, why would they do it? It’s only a good free market when it supports what you like. Vote with your dollars and buy some archie comics and write into the editors and say “we want straight archie!!1″ etc.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:59 PM

Funny how voting at the polls on these gay issues doesn’t count in your world. It’s only a good vote if it supports what you want, right?

dorkintheroad on July 14, 2014 at 3:08 PM

There’s no mystery to it. It’s just that most people don’t think killing children is a proper and moral thing to do.
 
rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 2:54 PM

 
Then don’t fight the depiction of women who have abortions and go on about their lives and are fine. Because there are many of them. If you are so confident that it’s simply about people who think murder is wrong, versus people who don’t, then you shouldn’t oppose its depiction because no cultural image could overcome that basic belief.
 
libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

 
What are you making up to whine about now, professor? I just pointed out that the majority of people agree with your belief that abortion results in the death of a child.

rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 3:10 PM

Then don’t fight the depiction of women who have abortions and go on about their lives and are fine. Because there are many of them. If you are so confident that it’s simply about people who think murder is wrong, versus people who don’t, then you shouldn’t oppose its depiction because no cultural image could overcome that basic belief.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 3:02 PM

What do you really know about abortion? It’s just a convenient political statement for you. You have no idea how much guilt and despair visits many/most of the the women who go through with it. Yeah, their lives will go on (unlike that of their terminated offspring), but for most of them, they’ll never be quite the same. They’ll always wonder about “what if I hadn’t done that?”

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 3:10 PM

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