Archie to be shot dead while saving gay best friend who called for gun control

posted at 2:01 pm on July 14, 2014 by Allahpundit

My thoughts exactly:

We should have known. There’s campy, there’s John Waters campy, and then there’s wearing a crown to school every day.

No, actually, the gay friend here is Kevin Keller, whom they introduced back in 2010 and then married off in 2012 in the first “Archie” gay wedding. Having re-written the “boy torn between two girls” storyline eight thousand times in the past 75 years, the writers wanted something more “impactful,” to borrow an atrocious word favored by the company’s CEO. That’s understandable, but … they work for Archie comics. They’re not “impactful,” by definition. Sticking Archie Andrews in the middle of an assassination narrative is like redoing “Goofus and Gallant” so that Goofus is a meth head. When you lose the innocence, you lose part of the charm.

Coming next month to “Archie”: Betty’s forced to scrape together eight bucks for birth control when her boss cuts off coverage after the Hobby Lobby ruling.

In “Life with Archie,” Keller is a married military veteran and newly elected senator who’s pushing for more gun control in Riverdale after his husband was involved in a shooting.

“We wanted to do something that was impactful that would really resonate with the world and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone,” said Goldwater. “That’s how we came up with the storyline of saving Kevin. He could have saved Betty. He could have saved Veronica. We get that, but metaphorically, by saving Kevin, a new Riverdale is born.”…

“Archie is not a superhero like all the rest of the comic book characters,” said Goldwater. “He’s human. He’s a person. When you wound him, he bleeds. He knows that. If anything, I think his death is more impactful because of that. We hope by showing how something so violent can happen to Archie, that we can — in some way — learn from him.”

I kinda like that they decided to kitchen-sink the “impactfulness” by making the story about gun control and about Archie’s respect for his gay friend. One or the other would have sufficed for buzz; either some random character dies in a shooting or Archie somehow dies protecting Keller. Instead, they’re grabbing hot topics by the fistful and flinging them at the wall. I wish, frankly, they would have gone way over the top and added a few more — the shooter, enraged by Israel’s actions in Gaza, is apprehended by Riverdale’s newest resident, a handsome illegal immigrant from Guatemala named Jose. Why be impactful when you can be the impactfullest?


Related Posts:

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Comment pages: 1 2 3 5

Maybe they should have gay friend control instead.

Flange on July 14, 2014 at 2:04 PM

“Impactful.”

Nomennovum on July 14, 2014 at 2:04 PM

A trip to Chicago was never considered, though.

rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 2:05 PM

Shot by a TEA Partier, no doubt…

JFKY on July 14, 2014 at 2:05 PM

Too dumb to be true.

Mimzey on July 14, 2014 at 2:05 PM

Make Jose a transgender guy who had an abortion.

22044 on July 14, 2014 at 2:05 PM

Archies’ been dead for me for awhile..

sandee on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

To make it even more apropos to our times Archie should be shot in Chicago, where there are strict gun laws, by an illegal alien.

Purple Velvet Pimp on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

“We wanted to do something that was impactful that would really resonate with the world and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone,” said Goldwater.

It’s so impactful that…..I didn’t even know they still made “Archie” comics anymore.

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

Archie should have had their CEO and writers get shot instead.

oscarwilde on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

So . . . this is the last Archie comic? How can you have Archie comics with no Archie? Unles – zombie Archie?

rbj on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

More propaganda directed at children. These people are sick.

dentalque on July 14, 2014 at 2:07 PM

Archie to be shot dead hacked to death with a machete while saving gay best friend spotted owl who called for gun control an end to anthropogenic global warming.

thejackal on July 14, 2014 at 2:07 PM

It’s much more likely that the illegal immigrant is the shooter.

slickwillie2001 on July 14, 2014 at 2:07 PM

Speaking of gays vs. guns, and as Tlaloc helpfully noted, gun owners are EXTREMELY safe, with only 8,583 deaths from 116 million people with access to guns in 2011.
 
For gun nuts to be as dangerous as the 1,144,500 (one million) people in the U.S. with HIV, the gun owners would have to kill 813,260 people each year.
 
So nearly a million people dead each year before gun owners were as dangerous as the HIV/AIDS population.
 

And if the “have HIV” population could figure out a way to be as safe as the “have gun” population they would’ve only lost 16,025 people to HIV/AIDS since 1981.
 
It’s actually 8000 a year, though.

rogerb on July 14, 2014 at 2:08 PM

So . . . this is the last Archie comic? How can you have Archie comics with no Archie? Unles – zombie Archie?

rbj on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

I was wondering the same thing.

Archie In Memoriam? Sounds like a real best-selling comic.

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:08 PM

In “Life with Archie,” Keller is a married military veteran and newly elected senator who’s pushing for more gun control in Riverdale after his husband was involved in a shooting…

He could have saved Betty. He could have saved Veronica. We get that, but metaphorically, by saving Kevin, a new Riverdale is born.”…

OMG.

Surely they could have found away to insert a sympathetic Betty/Veronica abortion sub-storyline in there somewhere?

Robert_Paulson on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

Should have also made his gay friend an illegal named Francisco…

PatriotRider on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

The only good Archie Andrews, is a dead Archie Andrews.

Unarmed and stupid is no way to go through life.

Pork-Chop on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

So when is Veronica going to become a drug addict who gets saved by Reggie who gets her to rehab? And maybe Betty can come out as a lesbian?

sharrukin on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

Impactful? Seems more like pandering.

Athos on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

I like how we can “learn from” Archie whatever progressive drivel it is that the writers are looking to push. Interesting that a CEO of such an old company can be such a dope.

Pablo on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

Meanwhile the Gay Chief flukes you all.

Schadenfreude on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

Of course there’s a cliffhanger on who the shooter is, and I can readily imagine who that will turn out to be.

Five bucks says it’s a disgruntled conservative woman from Alaska named Sara Paleen who was wearing a Gadsden-logo shirt when she did the crime.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

I smell Pulitzer. Actually what I anticipate is a segment that is newsworthy on BillOh, Megyn, and Sean being bumped to give this liberal nut the publicity he craves.

Marcus on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

I thought they were already dead.

Let’s rewrite the script and make it a massacre. That way they will all be gone and it will definite be the last script. That would be even more impactful.

Nat George on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

The martyrdom of idealistic youth, like Hitlerjunge Quex.

cbenoistd on July 14, 2014 at 2:11 PM

Surely they could have found away to insert a sympathetic Betty/Veronica abortion sub-storyline in there somewhere?

Robert_Paulson on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

Pregnancy via rape, of course. That might clash with the gun control narrative, though.

Pablo on July 14, 2014 at 2:11 PM

“Who shot Archie? Goldwater isn’t spoiling the killer, only teasing it’s a stalker who wanted to take Keller down.”

Let me guess. White? Probably. Veteran? Likely. Male? Of course. Pro-second amendment, pro-life, and who has a certain “racial animus” towards the president.

sydneyjane on July 14, 2014 at 2:11 PM

The first gay president probably reads Archie when not playing pool…

PatriotRider on July 14, 2014 at 2:12 PM

From the wisdom of Homer, stay out of Riverdale.

Flange on July 14, 2014 at 2:12 PM

Coming next month to “Archie”: Betty’s forced to scrape together eight bucks for birth control when her boss cuts off coverage after the Hobby Lobby ruling.

Okay. I confess. I don’t know if this is the famous Allah snark or if it is true.

tru2tx on July 14, 2014 at 2:12 PM

Transgender Charlie Brown? He marries Snoopy?

Or has that been done?

Am I ahead of my times or behind them?

SteveMG on July 14, 2014 at 2:12 PM

Can’t wait for the movie…

PatriotRider on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Was the shooter’s name T. Bagger? Ripp Momney? Fred Cruise?

HumpBot Salvation on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

So . . . this is the last Archie comic? How can you have Archie comics with no Archie? Unles – zombie Archie?

rbj on July 14, 2014 at 2:06 PM

I think it’s supposed to be some alternative future course of events…one that won’t affect the regular narrative of Jughead eating burgers, Reggie being a jerk, and Archie inexplicably being the source of conflict between two girls. What an unnecessary politicization of a beloved comic strip.

NY2SC on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

“…and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone,”

Really..? Important to whom? I didn’t even know the comic was still alive (which is probably why they’re doing this…buzz-branding…).

Ricard on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Is this the Graphic Novel mic drop?

Snowblind on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Brings a whole new meaning to “Sugar, Sugar.”

SMH

JannyMae on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Can we get a muslim suicide bomber during the Christmas party end scene if they do a Charle Brown Christmas remake?

It’s just a thought.

WryTrvllr on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

I’ll bet Archie is bi-sexual…

PatriotRider on July 14, 2014 at 2:14 PM

Rumor has it the ‘Goofus and Gallant’ will follow a similar story line.

Jag909 on July 14, 2014 at 2:14 PM

I bet if the statistics were looked up it could be proven that a gay is more likely to die from AIDS than a gun.

ConstantineXI on July 14, 2014 at 2:14 PM

Meanwhile the Gay Chief flukes you all.

Schadenfreude on July 14, 2014 at 2:10 PM

Leaked Data Shows 10-Fold Increase In Obama’s Asylum Approvals

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2014/07/14/leaked-data-shows-10-fold-increase-in-obamas-asylum-approvals/#ixzz37T4CvPAL

Just wait til Obumbles reads about this in the news. He’ll have to increase it 100-fold to outdo himself.

hawkeye54 on July 14, 2014 at 2:15 PM

Had no idea Archie was still around…

OmahaConservative on July 14, 2014 at 2:15 PM

I’ve simply run out of words …

If only somehow we could insert subliminal messaging into liberal propaganda making all liberals go to Antarctica.

darwin on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

So, progressives want to murder Archie to spread the gay Gospel?

faraway on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

What will be “impactful” is when their readership drops like a rock.

They’ll scratch their collective asses, and like Time Magazine, wonder “what happened”?

GarandFan on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

OT – Fundraiser in Chief – see the numbers, striking.

Schadenfreude on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

Maybe in the next issue it will turn out to be all a dream.

Fred 2 on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

It’s a conspiracy! Jughead was spotted with three vagrants on the grassy knoll!

Good Solid B-Plus on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

Wolverine has chunks of guys like Archie in his stool sample…

JohnGalt23 on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

Coming next month to “Archie”: Betty’s forced to scrape together eight bucks for birth control when her boss cuts off coverage after the Hobby Lobby ruling.

Its $4.00 at Walmart

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

I don’t want to mindlessly bash the liberal/left but they (broad brush strokes) never stop. Everything has to be politicized.

Every inch of the public square has to be taken over. Their outrage over the Hobby Lobby decision and the very idea of religion in the public square is the classic example.

They are winning the culture war but they won’t be happy until every last enclave has been taken.

SteveMG on July 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

For it to have an impact, people would have to read it. I didn’t even know this stuff still existed.

gator70 on July 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

I think it’s supposed to be some alternative future course of events…one that won’t affect the regular narrative of Jughead eating burgers, Reggie being a jerk, and Archie inexplicably being the source of conflict between two girls. What an unnecessary politicization of a beloved comic strip.

NY2SC on July 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

I hope you’re correct. I really loathe what the “progressives” have been doing to our iconic comics. IT MAKES ME SICK.

Bizarro world.

dogsoldier on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

Coming next month to “Archie”: Betty’s forced to scrape together eight bucks for birth control when her boss cuts off coverage after the Hobby Lobby ruling.

Its $4.00 at Walmart

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

Yes… but Betty can’t shop at Wal-Mart because of the Koch Brothers…

oscarwilde on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

It’s just a damned good thing “liberals” don’t have any REAL problems. lol

Archie isn’t the only cartoon in this story.

Murf76 on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

Forward to 2050, Archie’s gay is hung by ISIS. /s

I bet they never go there.

Oil Can on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

What’s next? Beetle Bailey deserts his post, ends up “captured” by some Muslims, gets “exchanged” for some Muslim terrorist-prisoners, then goes to General Halftrack’s office and shoots the place up in “workplace violence” episode?

Nah, that would never work.

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

Wolverine has chunks of guys like Archie in his stool sample…

JohnGalt23 on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

Haha! I bet there’s 4 people on the planet who know what that’s from.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:19 PM

What’s an Archie?!?

I’m 32 and I don’t know if I’ve ever did more than immediately skip over that comic growing up (for the little time I actually read Sunday comics).

nextgen_repub on July 14, 2014 at 2:19 PM

Well, good. Are the promising not to bring him back? Do a lot of these comic books sell or just the “memorable” ones?

Cindy Munford on July 14, 2014 at 2:20 PM

I wish, frankly, they would have gone way over the top and added a few more —

Archie could have been saved except that he refused getting in an ambulance that expended fossil fuel emissions. Then, it turns out that Archie opted out of signing up for Obamacare (a cautionary tale for future generations of young people).

Happy Nomad on July 14, 2014 at 2:20 PM

Too bad they couldn’t have Archie living in Chicago rather than Riverdale, the shooting could been a random gang initiation and Archie was simply a white guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:20 PM

They are also changing the name of the town to Riverdance.

Mr. D on July 14, 2014 at 2:20 PM

They are winning the culture war but they won’t be happy until every last enclave has been taken.

SteveMG on July 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

They can’t implement/defend their ideology everywhere.

We’ll let them divide and conquer themselves.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:21 PM

Wolverine has chunks of guys like Archie in his stool sample…

JohnGalt23 on July 14, 2014 at 2:16 PM

Haha! I bet there’s 4 people on the planet who know what that’s from.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:19 PM

Archie has this Ben Vereen thing, I can’t put my finger on it.

Mr. D on July 14, 2014 at 2:21 PM

As ghey as this is -and, being the absolutely lamest comic book series spouting the party line on the most cliched social causes, it’s damn near unfathomably ghey- it still surely reads better than a Dan Brown novel.

M240H on July 14, 2014 at 2:22 PM

Nuke the unborn, gay, Mexican, whales.

cat-scratch on July 14, 2014 at 2:22 PM

Alas poor Archie, we shall not mourn ye!

cornbred on July 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM

What’s next? Beetle Bailey deserts his post, ends up “captured” by some Muslims, gets “exchanged” for some Muslim terrorist-prisoners, then goes to General Halftrack’s office and shoots the place up in “workplace violence” episode?

Nah, that would never work.

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

As long as they spare Miss Buxley. Hubba hubba!

NY2SC on July 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM

It’s alright, it’s not really Archie. They’re all imposters.

JellyToast on July 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM

What’s next? Beetle Bailey deserts his post, ends up “captured” by some Muslims, gets “exchanged” for some Muslim terrorist-prisoners, then goes to General Halftrack’s office and shoots the place up in “workplace violence” episode?

Nah, that would never work.

Bitter Clinger on July 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM

issue after that will be one of the Hardy Boys gets a sex-change operation and later has Chet arrested for raping him at a rave party, er…her. them. just the one. her. whatever.

Renee on July 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM

I’m 32 and I don’t know if I’ve ever did more than immediately skip over that comic growing up (for the little time I actually read Sunday comics).

nextgen_repub on July 14, 2014 at 2:19 PM

Oh……tell me you know who Dagwood is.

Archie was a monthly comic book, you know, like Batman.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM

Beheading would be more impactful (which is not a word, apparently).

bbhack on July 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM

IIRC, a coupe of years ago Archie married Veronica. This may be payback for him getting ideas above his station in life.

Where was Mr. Lodge when this happened?

/Not that I care as I never read Archie to begin with.

clear ether

eon

eon on July 14, 2014 at 2:24 PM

Nuke the unborn, gay, Mexican, whales.

cat-scratch on July 14, 2014 at 2:22 PM

Nuke the unborn, gay, Mexican, whales for Jesus… You forgot the for Jesus part… <— Insert evil, yes I really had that bumper sticker on my car in high school maniacal laughter here…

oscarwilde on July 14, 2014 at 2:24 PM

My Great Grandma Juanita would spit nails if she were alive today so see what they’ve done to her beloved Archie. I remember her always wanting the cartoon section to read Archie & Beetle Bailey.

This world is unrecognizable.

portlandon on July 14, 2014 at 2:24 PM

Greatest Hotair article title after? It’s at least in the top 10.

JeremiahJohnson on July 14, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Archie has this Ben Vereen thing, I can’t put my finger on it.

Mr. D on July 14, 2014 at 2:21 PM

Ok….Stop it! Please….

Too late….headed over to YTube to get my fill.

BobMbx on July 14, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Why don’t they just make Archie a polygamist and resolve the conflict.

Or does “marriage equality” not really include those icky people?

gwelf on July 14, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Too bad the shooter wasn’t armed with a skeet shotgun, because from what I understand skeet shotguns aren’t designed to kill.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:26 PM

Cannot comprehend how anyone can put up with the astounding stupidity of the bureaucracy surrounding the government and your kids, NOW the comic books are brain washing ‘em.

Tard on July 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

Tearful ’60s comic book reading dweebs expected to be big membership windfall for Moms Against Civil Rights.

applebutter on July 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

I’m not sure that Comicdom can stand the Impactfullnesseration of such an old worn out comic.

thelastminstrel on July 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

How come Archie never volunteered to serve in the military?

applebutter on July 14, 2014 at 2:29 PM

And to think I loved reading Archie comic books as a kid.

cat_owner on July 14, 2014 at 2:29 PM

Sounds like a “fairy” tale

rik on July 14, 2014 at 2:29 PM

the shooter, enraged by Israel’s actions in Gaza, is apprehended by Riverdale’s newest resident, a handsome illegal immigrant from Guatemala named Jose. Why be impactful when you can be the impactfullest?

In future, we will learn that the shooter is a gender-confused tea partier.

massrighty on July 14, 2014 at 2:29 PM

I still think the “Big Ethel Fisting Dilton Doyley for ‘Performance Art Day’ at Riverdale High School” storyline would have been a lot more “impactful” if you get my drift…

jbspry on July 14, 2014 at 2:29 PM

liberalism perverts everything…..

crosshugger on July 14, 2014 at 2:30 PM

“… a new Riverdale is born.”

Populated with LGBT illegal aliens infected with scabies who collect welfare while protesting against the United States…

… No doubt Hillary Clinton will be featured in the next issue.

Seven Percent Solution on July 14, 2014 at 2:30 PM

I guess they’re building up to the issue when Jughead
engages in some real Kinky Sh*t?

ToddPA on July 14, 2014 at 2:30 PM

The only good Archie Andrews, is a dead Archie Andrews.

Unarmed and stupid is no way to go through life.

Pork-Chop on July 14, 2014 at 2:09 PM

Don’t forget “useful”.

applebutter on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

Sooooo, what will they call the comic if Archie is dead?

dentarthurdent on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

*Chortle* I know you all are pissed! Haha!

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

When will one of the young ladies have their first abortion?

crosshugger on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

I don’t like this ‘reality’ anymore.

What a f*cking 24/7 clown show this country has become.

Midas on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

When will one of the young ladies have their first abortion?

crosshugger on July 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

Hopefully soon. Abortion truly needs to be demystified. Especially abortions that occur in the first trimester. But you all have that issue on lock it seems.

libfreeordie on July 14, 2014 at 2:32 PM

Comment pages: 1 2 3 5