Finally: Burger King’s Whopper comes out as gay

posted at 7:01 pm on July 2, 2014 by Allahpundit

We McDonald’s fans always suspected (the campiness of “the King” was a dead giveaway) and now, at long last, confirmation. Good for you, Whopper. Be who you are. Good call by Ace too in remembering the SNL “Schmitt’s Gay” joke ad from the Farley/Sandler era. American politics has been mostly a function of identity politics for awhile now. It’s past time for American fast food to follow suit. Besides, there’s already a “straight burger,” isn’t there?

A Twitter buddy, seizing on the idea of “identity” burgers, floated the idea of an atheist burger. To which Andy Levy replied:

Not so. That’s the agnostic burger. The atheist burger wasn’t made by anyone. It just is.


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That’s the whole point of this campaign thing…that it’s the same Whopper, only with a different exterior. It’s not a “gay burger”. JetBoy on July 3, 2014 at 12:51 PM

I view it as a “Pander” Burger. The only thing that ticks me off more than a PC Society is pandering.

Brock Robamney on July 4, 2014 at 12:03 PM

BK trying to whore for more profits. What would Michelle say> Done with BK and its PC patrol. Wendy’s is tastier.

Krupnikas on July 4, 2014 at 12:27 PM

That’s the whole point of this campaign thing…that it’s the same Whopper, only with a different exterior. It’s not a “gay burger”.

JetBoy on July 3, 2014 at 12:51 PM

And gays are physically made exactly the same as everyone else: Heterosexual.

Their only difference of course, is their interior (desires) which are not at all congruent to their intended physical design.

Which means their entire self-identity is nothing more than a mental illness.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM

augustnian are you against mouth kissing? i think mouth kissing goes against the mouth’s intended physical design.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 1:36 PM

The “BarryBurger” it’s part dog and parts of Larry.

Texyank on July 4, 2014 at 1:47 PM

awwwwwww … why are you “in hiding”?
.
It’s not my fault, is it ?

listens2glenn on July 3, 2014 at 6:07 PM

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why would i be hiding from you? you are my sweet baboo.

brushingmyhair on July 3, 2014 at 11:11 PM

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I got it, I got it ! … I figured it out … I know just where I went wrong . . . . .

I had you confused with HillAREwe on February 27, 2014 at 1:35 AM
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Haven’t seen her since . . . . . (or you for a long while, either … hence the confusion).

listens2glenn on July 4, 2014 at 2:28 PM

augustnian are you against mouth kissing? i think mouth kissing goes against the mouth’s intended physical design.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 1:36 PM

On the contrary, mouth kissing is an emotional extension of the mother’s necessary evolutionary function of transferring pre-chewed food to her infant via mouth to mouth exchange. There was no Gerber baby-food throughout most of our human evolution you know. Ergo, there is nothing about kissing that is contrary to our physical design.

On the other hand, placing the erect p#nis into the feces-laden descending colon of another man is an abusive contradiction of the human paradigm, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It is an aggressive and dangerous abuse of the intended physical design. It is tantamount to turning the cesspool of a sewer-plant into a playground. Obviously bad consequences inevitably follow.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 2:31 PM

On the contrary, mouth kissing is an emotional extension of the mother’s necessary evolutionary function of transferring pre-chewed food to her infant via mouth to mouth exchange.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 2:31 PM

ಠ_ಠ

JetBoy on July 4, 2014 at 2:37 PM

ಠ_ಠ

JetBoy on July 4, 2014 at 2:37 PM

How in the world do you think mother’s fed their weening infants throughout the vast majority of our ancient history?

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM

How in the world do you think mother’s fed their weening infants throughout the vast majority of our ancient history?

kissing isn’t the exchange of food, well hopefully it isn’t. plus what about oral sex? is that aggressive and degrading? what if the colon was a woman’s?

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 3:15 PM

kissing isn’t the exchange of food, well hopefully it isn’t. plus what about oral sex? is that aggressive and degrading? what if the colon was a woman’s?

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 3:15 PM

What part of my response that kissing is the “emotional extension” of that primordial function do you not understand? And again, kissing is not intrinsically detrimental to our physical design.

And as far as oral sex, it isn’t intrinsically detrimental to our physical design either. It does not abuse our physiological design in and of itself. And yes, sodomy with a woman is also gravely dysfunctional, albeit, not as complete in its dysfunctional as homosexuality in context of our compatible and complimentary heterosexual mental and spiritual paradigm.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 3:44 PM

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 3:44 PM

so since lesbians probably aren’t plundering each others colon then homosexuality between women is cool with you?

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 4:55 PM

oh yah or gay guys just kissing. then that would be okay too. emotional extensions and junk. so you aren’t against homosexuality per se, more just the colon thing. you’re worried about everyone’s colon. which is really thoughtful of you, i know i’m trying to get more fibre as my colon ages.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 5:26 PM

oh yah or gay guys just kissing. then that would be okay too. emotional extensions and junk. so you aren’t against homosexuality per se, more just the colon thing. you’re worried about everyone’s colon. which is really thoughtful of you, i know i’m trying to get more fibre as my colon ages.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 5:26 PM

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Irrelevant … homosexuality is not a valid, legitimate, alternate state of “normal”, whether a given person is predisposed to it from birth doesn’t matter, it’s still an abnormality.

listens2glenn on July 4, 2014 at 6:40 PM

so since lesbians probably aren’t plundering each others colon then homosexuality between women is cool with you?

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 4:55 PM

Not at all. Lesbianism is still a profound dysfunction of the human paradigm. Although it’s not as much of a blatant physiological abuse as sodomy, it’s still a profound antithesis of our natural overall design.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 6:45 PM

oh yah or gay guys just kissing. then that would be okay too. emotional extensions and junk. so you aren’t against homosexuality per se, more just the colon thing. you’re worried about everyone’s colon. which is really thoughtful of you, i know i’m trying to get more fibre as my colon ages.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 5:26 PM

Irrelevant … homosexuality is not a valid, legitimate, alternate state of “normal”, whether a given person is predisposed to it from birth doesn’t matter, it’s still an abnormality.

listens2glenn on July 4, 2014 at 6:40 PM

Bingo. The fact that two men are only kissing is still indicative of the unnatural depravity that is at the heart of the mental dysfunction of homosexuality.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 6:50 PM

homosexuality is part of the natural order of things. less common than heterosexuality but still naturally occurring. so its not an alternate state of normal cause it is normal.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 6:52 PM

homosexuality is part of the natural order of things. less common than heterosexuality but still naturally occurring. so its not an alternate state of normal cause it is normal.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 6:52 PM

It only occurs in nature as an anomaly – like all dysfunctions. In the animal world it is largely the results of miscues from the estros cycle. And even in these lower species it is completely antithetical to their biological design. Homosexuality in and of itself is the ultimate evolutionary dead end.

It is a pathology that is as “natural” in its occurrence as all diseases and dysfunctions.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 7:26 PM

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 7:26 PM

so is left handedness.

and how is homosexuality an evolutionary dead end? you think the world is turning gay? so no one will be left to reproduce? and is reproduction the sole purpose of biological design? thats a pretty nihilistic reduction of the human experience. i think you revealed your hand too early, you are hung up on the butt stuff. all this stuff you are saying is just code that leads back to butt stuff. you are butt obsessed.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 7:51 PM

so is left handedness.

and how is homosexuality an evolutionary dead end? you think the world is turning gay? so no one will be left to reproduce? and is reproduction the sole purpose of biological design? thats a pretty nihilistic reduction of the human experience.
brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 7:51 PM

Uhm really? Left-handedness is not a dysfunction or an abuse of our natural design. You’re clearly delusional.

And apparently you didn’t comprehend my statement: “Homosexuality in and of itself is the ultimate evolutionary dead end.”

Reading comprehension and logical analysis is not your forte is it.

i think you revealed your hand too early, you are hung up on the butt stuff. all this stuff you are saying is just code that leads back to butt stuff. you are butt obsessed.

And I think it’s quaint (if not intentionally misleading) how you homo-activists like to pretend that sodomy has little to nothing to do with homosexuality. Please, stop insulting everyone’s intelligence with that moral facade. Why, it’s almost as if you instinctively know that it is an unnatural moral disgrace. Which you obviously do. You revealed your shame too early.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 8:12 PM

“Homosexuality in and of itself is the ultimate evolutionary dead end.” is a stupid statement even as a hypothetical. probably why i didn’t “comprehend” it. although how i interpreted it wasn’t far from your intended meaning. homosexuality doesn’t happen in a vacuum it occurs in the natural world. one could say “being male in and of itself is an evolutionary dead end” cause males IN AND OF THEMSELVES haven’t the means to reproduce. see? i also have no moral objection to a n a l s e x, i feel its natural sexual expression. you were the one who fixated on that aspect. you objectified and dehumanized a whole class of people based on a sexual act that is just as popular among heterosexuals. then reduced the whole of human experience to a simple biological imperative of reproduction and evolution. sorta like humans are a bunch of insects just looking for food and to increase their numbers, everything else is secondary in your world view.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 8:59 PM

“Homosexuality in and of itself is the ultimate evolutionary dead end.” is a stupid statement even as a hypothetical. probably why i didn’t “comprehend” it. although how i interpreted it wasn’t far from your intended meaning. homosexuality doesn’t happen in a vacuum it occurs in the natural world. one could say “being male in and of itself is an evolutionary dead end” cause males IN AND OF THEMSELVES haven’t the means to reproduce. see? i also have no moral objection to a n a l s e x, i feel its natural sexual expression. you were the one who fixated on that aspect. you objectified and dehumanized a whole class of people based on a sexual act that is just as popular among heterosexuals. then reduced the whole of human experience to a simple biological imperative of reproduction and evolution. sorta like humans are a bunch of insects just looking for food and to increase their numbers, everything else is secondary in your world view.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 8:59 PM

“Being male” is merely a state of being based on a physiological design. It is not a chosen action. Homosexual sex acts ARE actions that are inherently void of the primary purpose of the entire evolutionary paradigm: Procreation.

Am I going to fast fer ya here?

And I already stated that homosexuality occurs in the natural world as a dysfunctional an anomaly. That fact is self-evident.

I’m sorry you can’t comprehend that. I’ve dumb-ed it down as far as I can.

And the human anatomy is not designed for sodomy: the descending colon is not self-lubricating, it is easily torn by penetration and friction, and such injury instantly exposes the blood supply to millions of harmful bacteria that naturally inhabit that environment. Now that is a self-evident fact – regardless of the gender. And that reality is not changed by the mere fact that homosexuals “feel” like it is natural. The biological reality of our physiological design easily reveals the dysfunction of those “feelings”.

In short, homosexuals objectify and dehumanize themselves by engaging in such a blatantly dysfunctional paradigm. In truth YOU and your ilk are the ones who are reducing the whole of human experience to a blatant misuse and overt abuse of a biological imperative that is completely void of reproduction and inherently contrary to the evolutionary process. So if anyone is dehumanizing the human paradigm – it is you sodomites. Your entire imperative is complete void of any other purpose other than a self-centered, unhealthy, and utterly vacuous act of pure dysfunctional desire that is completely contrary to any natural function or purpose. And that degree of mental depravity always becomes regressive and oppressive on a societal level. Because ultimately:

Rationalized depravity always views normalcy as a threat. Such is the psychological pathology of the dysfunction itself.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 10:01 PM

Burger King’s Whopper comes out as gay

Well, that explains why they suck.

earlgrey on July 4, 2014 at 10:23 PM

And I already stated that homosexuality occurs in the natural world as a dysfunctional an anomaly. That fact is self-evident.

that is neither a fact nor is it self evident. it is only “self evident” if you again reduce all of the human experience and human sexuality to a single sad point. which you keep saying you are not doing but you keep doing it. it is self evident that human sexuality is a wild and varied thing not reducible to simple biologic function and certainly not to the sole purpose of procreation.

Homosexual sex acts ARE actions that are inherently void of the primary purpose of the entire evolutionary paradigm

WHAT HUBRIS! you have no idea where evolution might lead us. or what homosexuality might mean in the greater evolutionary paradigm. maybe homosexuality is the thing that gave humans a leg up in the first place. the thing is YOU HAVE NO IDEA! you have reached a conclusion without asking any questions. based solely on your intuition and ideology and your weird hang up on a n a l s e x (which again is just as popular among heterosexuals). “why does homosexuality continue to persist in human culture when it seems like it should be an evolutionary dead end?” see? that’s an interesting question. that wouldn’t fit your narrow narrative though.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 11:03 PM

that is neither a fact nor is it self evident. it is only “self evident” if you again reduce all of the human experience and human sexuality to a single sad point. which you keep saying you are not doing but you keep doing it. it is self evident that human sexuality is a wild and varied thing not reducible to simple biologic function and certainly not to the sole purpose of procreation.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 11:03 PM

Oh really? Then state for me the function of homosexuality in nature.

WHAT HUBRIS! you have no idea where evolution might lead us. or what homosexuality might mean in the greater evolutionary paradigm.

What? Are you really this dense? Evolution might lead us somewhere, but unless sodomy produces offspring, homosexuality won’t lead us anywhere.

maybe homosexuality is the thing that gave humans a leg up in the first place. the thing is YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

Oh by all means: on what evidence are you basing these claims?

you have reached a conclusion without asking any questions. based solely on your intuition and ideology and your weird hang up on a n a l s e x (which again is just as popular among heterosexuals).

On the contrary, that is exactly the basis of your rationalization for homosexuality. The human body is not designed for sodomy. That is self-evident to everyone except the most delusional ideologue such as yourself. And please, stop pretending that sodomy is just some rare outlier that hardly occurs in the gay community. Keep your delusions to yourself.

“why does homosexuality continue to persist in human culture when it seems like it should be an evolutionary dead end?” see? that’s an interesting question. that wouldn’t fit your narrow narrative though.

What are you even talking about? I said homosexuality is in and of itself an evolutionary dead-end. And evolution has produced countless dead ends since the beginning of time. The fact that homosexuality “persists” in culture is the same reason all dysfunction and depravity “persists” in culture – because humans are fallen creatures. And because pathologies have always existed. Left to its own pathology, homosexuality could not produce one single offspring. And procreation is the most primary and most basic function in every single species that has ever existed. Offspring is the entire point of evolution.

Arguing these incredibly obvious points with you is like arguing over the basic function of breathing with a moron. The collective IQ of this entire thread just dropped 20 points.

Augustinian on July 5, 2014 at 12:14 AM

As a Christian, I follow what the bible says on the matter. But you may encounter others who have different opinions on the matter. Instead of waging a religious war on these individuals and attack them, how about dialing it back and realize that they have their own beliefs that you can’t change, and walk away. Participating in hatred is not going to benefit you.

Brock Robamney on July 5, 2014 at 7:09 AM

Irrelevant … homosexuality is not a valid, legitimate, alternate state of “normal”, whether a given person is predisposed to it from birth doesn’t matter, it’s still an abnormality.

listens2glenn on July 4, 2014 at 6:40 PM
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homosexuality is part of the natural order of things. less common than heterosexuality but still naturally occurring. so its not an alternate state of normal cause it is normal.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 6:52 PM

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It only occurs in nature as an anomaly – like all dysfunctions. In the animal world it is largely the results of miscues from the estros cycle. And even in these lower species it is completely antithetical to their biological design. Homosexuality in and of itself is the ultimate evolutionary dead end.

It is a pathology that is as “natural” in its occurrence as all diseases and dysfunctions.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 7:26 PM
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so is left handedness.

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 7:51 PM

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Left-handedness is not a dysfunction or an abuse of our natural design.

Augustinian on July 4, 2014 at 8:12 PM

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I believe part of the problem of this debate is a disagreement over use of the terms “natural” and “normal”.

Proponents of the Evolutionary Model explaining how mankind came into existence, use the terms interchangeably. Hence proponents of “same gender sexual intimacy” use the terms interchangeably, as well.

I’m saying they are NOT interchangeable.

Our current physical environment has been in a state of ‘abnormality’, since Noah’s Flood. A whole lot of what is “natural” is NOT “normal”.

So that brings us to same old “atheism vs recognition of God” debate.

listens2glenn on July 5, 2014 at 7:12 AM

I do however stand by my initial comments that Jeff Gordon is Gay. Dale Earnhart Jr is the man

Brock Robamney on July 5, 2014 at 7:16 AM

so is left handedness.
and how is homosexuality an evolutionary dead end? you think the world is turning gay? so no one will be left to reproduce? and is reproduction the sole purpose of biological design? thats a pretty nihilistic reduction of the human experience.
brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 7:51 PM

Sometimes I wonder with all this push behind “contraception” and “gay marriage” that there is a nefarious agenda behind this for these Greenies. The left doesn’t go all out on these issues without planning to exploit them. Since their argument is CO2 creates global warming, humans emit CO2, maybe their plan is to limit the population as to save the planet for the future of unicorns and rainbows?

Brock Robamney on July 5, 2014 at 7:31 AM

As a Christian, I follow what the bible says on the matter. But you may encounter others who have different opinions on the matter. Instead of waging a religious war on these individuals and attack them, how about dialing it back and realize that they have their own beliefs that you can’t change, and walk away.

Brock Robamney on July 5, 2014 at 7:09 AM

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Who … is waging a “religious war”?

Proponents of “same gender sexual intimacy” are demanding that we accept their ‘condition’ and related behavior as “normal”, and there’s no compromising that.

Romans 12:18 must be interpreted as not contradicting the letter written by John to the Church at Thyatira [Rev 2:18-23].

The Bible doesn’t teach “live and let live.”
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Participating in hatred is not going to benefit you.

Brock Robamney on July 5, 2014 at 7:09 AM

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What constitutes “hatred” as you used it, above?

listens2glenn on July 5, 2014 at 7:33 AM

brushingmyhair on July 4, 2014 at 7:51 PM

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Sometimes I wonder with all this push behind “contraception” and “gay marriage” that there is a nefarious agenda behind this for these Greenies. The left doesn’t go all out on these issues without planning to exploit them. Since their argument is CO2 creates global warming, humans emit CO2, maybe their plan is to limit the population as to save the planet for the future of unicorns and rainbows?

Brock Robamney on July 5, 2014 at 7:31 AM

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There are ‘useful idiots’ in the “green” movement, and there are the few leaders towards the top.
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The agenda of those at the top is “one world government”.

listens2glenn on July 5, 2014 at 7:40 AM

I predict that when Obama dies his coffin will be draped in a rainbow flag. Whoppers will be served at his wake by the Creepy King.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Burger_King

Dave Turson on July 5, 2014 at 6:26 PM

listens2glenn on July 5, 2014 at 7:33 AM

If you are trying to witness to a gay person, or anyone else for that matter, you don’t do it in a harsh rhetorical war. Some people are using the fire and brimstone approach, feeling they need to attack the person. My view is that you attract more flies with honey then you do with vinegar

Brock Robamney on July 6, 2014 at 8:08 AM

listens2glenn on July 5, 2014 at 7:33 AM

.
If you are trying to witness to a gay person, or anyone else for that matter, you don’t do it in a harsh rhetorical war. Some people are using the fire and brimstone approach, feeling they need to attack the person. My view is that you attract more flies with honey then you do with vinegar

Brock Robamney on July 6, 2014 at 8:08 AM

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Thank you for the reply … in the context of evangelism, that is absolutely correct.

In the context of having this debate on this blog, of ‘government-enforced’ acceptance of same-gender sexual intimacy, as a legitimate condition of “normal”, the “harsh rhetorical war” cannot hardly be reduced to some softer rhetoric of diplomacy.
I believe most persons (myself, for example) who vociferously oppose ‘government-enforced’ acceptance of same-gender sexual intimacy, as a legitimate condition of “normal”, are not communicating a hatred of homosexuals (who are people), but rather opposition to being forced by government fiat to give recognition to homosexuality as a valid, legitimate, alternate state of normal.
Within this debate, there has got to be a distinction between the homosexuals on one side, and homosexuality on the other.

listens2glenn on July 6, 2014 at 8:57 AM

So what if you decide you love your burger so much, you want to marry it? Or if you hate the fact it might ruin your life, you want to abort it?

I predict Burger King’s sales will drop, except in SF or Key West.

kirkill on July 7, 2014 at 9:56 AM

I predict Burger King’s sales will drop, except in SF or Key West.

kirkill on July 7, 2014 at 9:56 AM

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As long as they don’t actively try to market this burger name and it’s corresponding wrapper outside of San Francisco, I think they’ll be alright.

listens2glenn on July 7, 2014 at 10:33 AM

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