Open thread: Blogger can’t believe he’s posting an open thread for a soccer match

posted at 3:21 pm on July 1, 2014 by Allahpundit

I don’t mean to be that guy, the U.S. sports fan who watches the World Cup faithfully out of blind nationalism while wracked with guilt that he’s being un-American by taking an interest in the foreign game.

But I am that guy, so here’s your I’m-not-interested-but-really-I-kind-of-am ambivalent open thread. If true-conservative-in-chief Ted Cruz can hop on the bandwagon, there must be room for us RINOs, no?

4 p.m. ET on ESPN, U.S. versus Belgium in the Round of 16. If Team USA loses, they’re done. If they win, they’ll advance for the second time in team history to the quarterfinals, where they’ll be dismantled by Lionel Messi and Argentina. The stakes, clearly, are high. Belgium is slightly favored, but if I’m not mistaken the U.S. has been the underdog in all three of its matches so far. Results: They beat Ghana on a late goal, very nearly beat Portugal before another late goal left them with a draw, and then lost 1-0 to Germany. One of their key strikers, Jozy Altidore, is available for today’s match after being injured in the opener. He might play or might not. At a minimum, I assume, he’ll be subbed in during the second half if the U.S. is behind.

Given the amount of Latino interest in the Cup and the inevitability of demographic change, it’s a cinch that soccer really will become more popular in the U.S. — gradually. If we’re destined to play a bigger role in the sport, though, can I float my half-assed once-every-four-years recommendation for how to make it a tad more America-friendly? Dump the stupid penalty kicks shootout at the end and play the game the way John Wayne would play it, with the two sides running themselves to the point of puke-inducing exhaustion in extra time until somebody scores. Watching Brazil and Chile shoot it out the other day was like watching the Heat and Thunder go to overtime in game seven of the finals and then having LeBron and Durant play “horse” to decide the championship. Exciting! — and almost completely disconnected from everything that’s gone before it. If international fans insist on some stupid competition of set-pieces to settle the match, at least make it a battle of corner kicks instead of penalty kicks. The corner kick is a facet of the game itself and involves the entire team, so it better reflects the side’s overall skill set. If the defense clears the ball over the midfield line then they get to try a corner kick, and if they don’t score the other team gets another crack. Continue that way, one and one, until one side scores and the other doesn’t. Not as good as sudden death but better than penalty kicks, no?

You’ll know soccer has made it in America when the tackles have gotten hard enough to force guys to wear helmets and a goal from 25 yards out counts for two points. USA! USA!


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also remember in ’94 that a player for Colombia accidently knocked the ball into his own goal causing his team to lose and he ended up getting murdered for it when the team got back to Colombia.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 3:45 PM

Saw the opening ceremonies and all games in Chicago. Sad.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 3:54 PM

and i wonder if all the people complaining about soccer being “boring” have actually played it themselves. i just think it’s so much harder than it looks! and while i have no interest in sports i do respect the people who play because i know how hard they work and how tough it is.

Sachiko on July 1, 2014 at 3:50 PM

Watching and playing sports are two completely different animals. I love bowling, but I’d never watch it. I’m a gamer, but it amazes me that people actually watch stuff like MLG.

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 3:54 PM

Cool!
I wanted to take a nap.
I needed something to help me nod off.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on July 1, 2014 at 3:55 PM

I do remember that the ’94 championship game between Brazil & Italy was decided by penalty kicks. What a crappy way to crown a champion.

I also remember in ’94 that a player for Colombia accidently knocked the ball into his own goal causing his team to lose and he ended up getting murdered for it when the team got back to Colombia.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 3:45 PM

Ahh, the “Beautiful” Game in action…

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 3:55 PM

As I’ve abundantly said, and will ignore retorts to, I just don’t care about soccer at all. BUT, since there are some that are practically ready to write laws demanding everyone love and support it,

This is for you.

Diluculo on July 1, 2014 at 3:55 PM

I’m watching Wimbledon. What’s the bite count on the soccer match? Biting is cool in soccer, so long as you don’t use your hands. You can use your head to hit balls and you can bite opponents. But touch anything with your fingers and … you’re out!!

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 3:56 PM

Positives:

• 1.5hrs of virtually no commercials.
• Another reason to drink during the day.
• Obama hasn’t been shown holding any country’s jersey (as far as I know).

dengony on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

I’m watching Wimbledon. What’s the bite count on the soccer match? Biting is cool in soccer, so long as you don’t use your hands. You can use your head to hit balls and you can bite opponents. But touch anything with your fingers and … you’re out!!

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 3:56 PM

What happened to all the great American tennis players?

We barely even have anybody in the Top 20.

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

Go USA!! :)

KickandSwimMom on July 1, 2014 at 3:53 PM

Right there with you KASMom.

Go USA!!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

Which American is the best biter?

The referee is Algerian….but it’s Ramadan.

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

I don’t like it, don’t hate it, don’t CARE ABOUT IT.
Stop telling me what I need or should do and feel about yet another stupid fcking game. Love it if you want to, I DON’T CARE.
G F Y
Diluculo on July 1, 2014 at 3:51 PM

No one is telling what you need to like. Just pointing out that some of you look silly going out of your way to repeatedly bash something you supposedly “care nothing” about. But, hey, if you’re happy being a posturing, tired, grumpy conservative caricature come to life, then knock yourself out. Just know that many conservatives are enjoying the games and don’t see the need to politicize the competition.

bluegill on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

Piss on that sorry communist excuse for a sport. Can’t wait to revel in the hipster caterwauling when we lose to mighty Belgium – their tears are sweeter than cotton candy.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 3:29 PM

Ohh, the sportsmanship involved in practicing for a -year- to kick in the teeth of -Ghana.-

That says a lot about the degeneration of the competitive spirit involved in this horse-hooey.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 3:58 PM

I’m rooting for Belgium. Or against the US “soccer” team. The sooner our team is eliminated the better.

I am tired of hearing about “soccer” in general, and the World Cup in particular.

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 3:59 PM

Positives:

• 1.5hrs of virtually no commercials.
• Another reason to drink during the day.
• Obama hasn’t been shown holding any country’s jersey (as far as I know).

dengony on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

Yes, for the most part the WC has been an Obama- and lib-free zone

22044 on July 1, 2014 at 3:59 PM

How many water breaks will there be?

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Does not liking luge stop you from supporting the US Olympic team? This is like that, except 100x bigger.

GO GO USA!!!

jjraines on July 1, 2014 at 3:44 PM

Leftist hipster douchebags don’t try to browbeat Americans into loving luge, so I have no problem with luge. And, so far as I know, luge fanatics aren’t a bunch of effete SWPL organic IPA swilling assholes, so that’s another point in their favor.

Very, very sick and tired of being chided into liking soccer because “the rest of the world loves it”. Who gives a damn what the rest of the world does?

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:00 PM

I’m rooting for Belgium. Or against the US “soccer” team. The sooner our team is eliminated the better.
I am tired of hearing about “soccer” in general, and the World Cup in particular.
Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 3:59 PM

Shameful! You’re the Jane Fonda of sports fans.

bluegill on July 1, 2014 at 4:00 PM

also remember in ’94 that a player for Colombia accidently knocked the ball into his own goal causing his team to lose and he ended up getting murdered for it when the team got back to Colombia.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 3:45 PM

Saw the opening ceremonies and all games in Chicago. Sad.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 3:54 PM

Not quite as sad as this Cup qualification round:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soccer_War

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:01 PM

I’m rooting for Belgium. Or against the US “soccer” team. The sooner our team is eliminated the better.
I am tired of hearing about “soccer” in general, and the World Cup in particular.
Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 3:59 PM

You go, Raquel! After all, our leftist “betters” hyping this pig-fest want America to fail, so why not go with the flow and cheer for the seat of the EU over the reactionary Yankee dogs.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

2 minutes, 2 corner kicks, 1 shot on goal. Not a good start.

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

There is nothing I would love more than if America, forced to play this stupid boring game by the left.. came in and dominated it year after year.

Hey.. maybe we can even Americanize this stupid game. Take it over. Force teams to wear body armor and allow tackling. It would be a beautiful thing.

JellyToast on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

where they’ll be dismantled by Lionel Messi and Argentina

They did not look that good against the Swiss today. I think if the US beats the Belgians, (and I am saying this a fanatic of American football), I think they will beat Argentina as well

ConservativePartyNow on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

Zero zero!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

I’m with Ann Coulter! Take soccer back to Europe and keep it there.

Christian Conservative on July 1, 2014 at 4:04 PM

But, hey, if you’re happy being a posturing, tired, grumpy conservative caricature come to life, then knock yourself out. Just know that many conservatives are enjoying the games and don’t see the need to politicize the competition.

Outstanding job at swallowing the leftist narrative hook, line and sinker.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:04 PM

What happened to all the great American tennis players?

We barely even have anybody in the Top 20.

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

True, but who cares? I hate the way they have to have little national flags next to each player, as if they’re playing for the country. It’s an individual sport that has no national ties involved. But … it’s European influenced, so it becomes one more battle of tribal warfare.

I don’t care what country anyone comes from. I like Djokovic because he plays an awesome game. But it’s funny how they announce players are from countries that they just got citizenship in, as if it matters in any way. I know that many of these players actually get government money from these nations to “represent them” in the pro tournaments, but that is just how Eurotrash tend to destroy everything they touch. An individual sport reduced to drooling tribalistic silliness.

As to the women, I like the hot ones. Don’t care where they’re from (though the Eastern Europeans, and Czechs, in particular, tend to be pretty friggin awesome). Camila Giorgi is hot and has a strong game. I was very disappointed that she went out early – and they wouldn’t even show any of her games. Genie Bouchard is pretty cute and plays a strong game, too. Women’s tennis is saved by the hot women. Otherwise, no one would bother watching it.

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

You know.. earth day eventually rose to be a big hit for a season or two. I noticed it passed this year and nobody seemed to care.

JellyToast on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

1994 is calling.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 3:40 PM

Too late. We already hosted it back in 1994.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 3:40 PM

Ah, see, that’s how much I payed attention to it.

That said though, we live in a different world than back in 1994. Now, hosting cities are trashes by BOTH the losers AND the winners.

The world we live in now, events like the World Cup are just as much about the riots after the games, as the games themselves.

Meople on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

2 minutes, 2 corner kicks, 1 shot on goal. Not a good start.

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

Belgians are raping America.

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

I was all excited to watch this soccer “match” but then I realized I had a previous engagement watching the paint dry and grass grow. After my husband mowed the lawn and painted the shed.

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

The ball went that way.

WAIT! Now it’s going the other way! Now back again!

OOOOOMMMMMGGGG it’s going the other way!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:06 PM

Anything to show that American Football is nothing but an advertising gig, $100 to see one in person, and they play once a week…and baseball? Forget about it…you have to learn a new roster every year, wait for minutes between each pitched ball, and if you go to a game, prepare to drop $100..

right2bright on July 1, 2014 at 4:07 PM

The ball went that way.

WAIT! Now it’s going the other way! Now back again!

OOOOOMMMMMGGGG it’s going the other way!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:06 PM

Throw-in!

I just creamed my pants.

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM

I was all excited to watch this soccer “match” but then I realized I had a previous engagement watching the paint dry and grass grow. After my husband mowed the lawn and painted the shed.

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

Yep, hopefully the Belgians will put us out of our misery in a suitably merciless manner. A good old fashioned 2-nil blowout should be appropriate.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM

The ball went that way.

WAIT! Now it’s going the other way! Now back again!

OOOOOMMMMMGGGG it’s going the other way!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:06 PM

Why are you watching basketball? The World Cup is on!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM

Why do they call it “The World Cup”? You aren’t allowed to use your hands. What good is a cup if you can’t use your hands??

The Eurotrash retards didn’t really think this one through too much …

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 4:11 PM

Anything to show that American Football is nothing but an advertising gig, $100 to see one in person, and they play once a week…and baseball? Forget about it…you have to learn a new roster every year, wait for minutes between each pitched ball, and if you go to a game, prepare to drop $100..

right2bright on July 1, 2014 at 4:07 PM

Ronnie Lott once had part of his pinky cut off so he could stay in a game. Most soccer players roll around on the ground in fake agony if they chiail or something.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:11 PM

You go, Raquel! After all, our leftist “betters” hyping this pig-fest want America to fail, so why not go with the flow and cheer for the seat of the EU over the reactionary Yankee dogs.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

The way I see it, winning the world cup is on par with winning the special olympics.

These so called “soccer” athletes collapse as though they’ve been shot by sniper fire every time an opponent so much as in their direction. We live in the U.S., where hockey players pop their eye back into their socket without missing a shift. NFL LBs play entire games on Torn Achilles.

Enough of the soccer “euro-weenie” trash.

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:11 PM

Why are you watching basketball? The World Cup is on!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM

Heh

I don’t mind jokes – if I can tolerate Jimmy Kimmel’s World Cup Play of the Day each night – go ahead and laugh it up HotAirians

22044 on July 1, 2014 at 4:12 PM

bluegill on July 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

I like being grumpy, bytch. Get off my lawn and take your damn suckerball with you.

Diluculo on July 1, 2014 at 4:12 PM

I’ll concede that flopping/diving does suck.

22044 on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

And another things – any American who uses limey slang like “the pitch”, “their kits”, their “side” or “nil” should be deported.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

I would rather watch football!

Sven on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

Why is the cast of Riverdance dressed that way and what’s up with the ball?

trubble on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

The ball went that way.

WAIT! Now it’s going the other way! Now back again!

OOOOOMMMMMGGGG it’s going the other way!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:06 PM

Why are you watching basketball? The World Cup is on!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM

I think he’s watching tennis.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

CHARLIE H. CRIST ON A CROSS! It’s a free kick by the goalie, they’re running down the field….NO! The ball is intercepted and there’s disappointment for the…holy crap it was kicked the other way!

The ref runs out and holds up a card, everyone turns the other way, and it’s still zero zero.

We’ll be back in 30 minutes after the commercial break to count how many fans in the stands have died.

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:14 PM

An individual sport reduced to drooling tribalistic silliness.

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 4:05 PM

How is wanting our countrymen to win “drooling tribalistic silliness”?

That being said, I rooted for Federer over Roddick. But that’s because Federer is the GOAT. :)

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 4:14 PM

The way I see it, winning the world cup is on par with winning the special olympics.

These so called “soccer” athletes collapse as though they’ve been shot by sniper fire every time an opponent so much as in their direction. We live in the U.S., where hockey players pop their eye back into their socket without missing a shift. NFL LBs play entire games on Torn Achilles.

Enough of the soccer “euro-weenie” trash.

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:11 PM

Yep, notice that these morons never promote lacrosse, a real sport with genuine multi-cultural appeal that both sexes can plan which has real action?

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:14 PM

Yep, hopefully the Belgians will put us out of our misery in a suitably merciless manner. A good old fashioned 2-nil blowout should be appropriate.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM

1-0 is considered “a blowout” as seeing how many games end in ties, I mean doesn’t anyone want to freaking win in this “sport”

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Zero zero!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:03 PM

Time for the shootouts?

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Basketball has scoring.

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Reader can’t believe he’s commenting…

Mr. Bingley on July 1, 2014 at 3:24 PM

What he said.

katy the mean old lady on July 1, 2014 at 4:15 PM

And another things – any American who uses limey slang like “the pitch”, “their kits”, their “side” or “nil” should be deported.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

This

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:16 PM

Time for the shootouts?

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Which side is Aaron Burr on? I hear he’s pretty good at this.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 4:17 PM

Yep, notice that these morons never promote lacrosse, a real sport with genuine multi-cultural appeal that both sexes can plan which has real action?

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:14 PM

Absolutely, and an all-North American sport at that. Infinitely better than candyass soccer.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:17 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… SNORT! Whah? [looks at TV] Nothing’s happening? Typical. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

stvnscott on July 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM

See, this is where you lose me, soccer fans. At least the NBA is trying to clean up flops. You get fined for egregious ones and refs are trying not to reward them. How does that ridiculous exaggerated swan dive incur a yellow card??

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM

I love the way the refs come running up to a player who has committed a “foul” as though he has just taken out a chainsaw and sawed somebody’s hand off. The ref looks very stern and upset. And then all the ref does is snap his little yellow (or red) piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and stick it in the offender’s face, as though the little yellow/red card has some kind of superpower. As if to say, “Ha! you are powerless against my little yellow piece of paper.

Raquel Pinkbullet on July 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM

Corner kick for the US!

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM

How is wanting our countrymen to win “drooling tribalistic silliness”?

I wasn’t directing that at you but at the fact that every tennis player has to hav e a little national flag officially attached to them and the announcers are always calling people “the American”, or “the Serb”, as if they don’t have names and aren’t out there as individuals. You se the same thing in golf – also because of its Eurotrash origins.

That being said, I rooted for Federer over Roddick. But that’s because Federer is the GOAT. :)

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 4:14 PM

Federer was the best. Roddick was a choker, too.

I’m not really into rooting for any of them. I just like to see really good tennis and want the best one to win by playing best. Except on the women’s side, where the hottest one should always win, unless she screeches like a wounded animal, thinking that that’s what being a competitive guy is all about …

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

1994 is calling.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 3:40 PM

Wait about 10 years, because it’s now 1984, and we’re all equal…some are just more equal than others.

NOMOBO on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

I don’t get it.

20 minutes in and nothing is happening.

Is this normal for soccer?

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

Which side is Aaron Burr on? I hear he’s pretty good at this.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 4:17 PM

Hopefully Hamilton learned his lesson and doesn’t fire over Burr’s head this time.

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

USA USA!

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

But I am that guy, so here’s your I’m-not-interested-but-really-I-kind-of-am ambivalent open thread. If true-conservative-in-chief Ted Cruz can hop on the bandwagon, there must be room for us RINOs, no?

Cruz also glad-handed Cochran after his “victory,” so I’m not feeling too sanguine about his judgement lately.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:21 PM

Dempsey!

Arrrgh!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:21 PM

Dempsey!

Arrrgh!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:21 PM

What? What?? Time for shootouts at 20 paces?

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:22 PM

US starting to move in.

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:22 PM

I don’t get it.

20 minutes in and nothing is happening.

Is this normal for soccer?

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

Absolutely, comrade! Demanding “action” is for reactionary bourgeois enemies of the state…

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:22 PM

NOOOOOOOoooooooooooOO!!!!!!!!!!

Fear the counter attack

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:22 PM

The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant!

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:23 PM

Hopefully Hamilton learned his lesson and doesn’t fire over Burr’s head this time.

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM

Truly a pastime where second chances are obsolete.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 4:24 PM

4th corner for belgium

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:24 PM

I think he’s watching tennis.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

My bad. I forgot he was from ‘Sota.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:25 PM

So which side is the USA again?

The players with the red uniforms?

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:25 PM

Don’t feel good about this. Can’t win the hair war without Kyle ‘the linebacker’ Beckerman

US avoids conceding another goal :(

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:25 PM

Does not liking luge stop you from supporting the US Olympic team? This is like that, except 100x bigger.

GO GO USA!!!

jjraines on July 1, 2014 at 3:44 PM

Leftist hipster douchebags don’t try to browbeat Americans into loving luge, so I have no problem with luge. And, so far as I know, luge fanatics aren’t a bunch of effete SWPL organic IPA swilling assholes, so that’s another point in their favor.

Very, very sick and tired of being chided into liking soccer because “the rest of the world loves it”. Who gives a damn what the rest of the world does?

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Indeed, our ancestors came over here to get away from that vomit-brained collectivist tribalism.

ebrown2 on July 1, 2014 at 4:25 PM

Sheesh.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:26 PM

These soccer players are also a lot better to look at than NBA players or NFL players.

bluegill on July 1, 2014 at 4:26 PM

My suggestions:

No more ties. After 15 minutes of SD overtime, allow them to use their hands. If it’s still tied after another 15 mins, no more yellow/red cards. Blood shall flow until there is a winner.

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 4:26 PM

5th corner for Belgium, oy

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:27 PM

My only interest in this will be trolling the Europeans I know if the US wins a game we’ve recognized as stupid and childish, and care about accordingly.

Seriously, if Number of Dives > Number of Points and “I give up!” is a valid defensive strategy then there’s something fundamentally wrong with your game, and no one ought to pay attention to it.

alchemist19 on July 1, 2014 at 4:27 PM

6th corner for Belgium

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:27 PM

Wasn’t Dr. Evil from Belgium?

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:29 PM

Howard is going to have to be perfect.

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:29 PM

#SuckFoccer ?

Nutstuyu on July 1, 2014 at 4:29 PM

6th corner for Belgium

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:27 PM

God damned, how many corners before he’s called out? I’m usually out after 3 corners!

NotCoach on July 1, 2014 at 4:29 PM

Freak. Looks like Jozy’s injury. Losing FJ is going to suck.

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:30 PM

The ball went that way.
WAIT! Now it’s going the other way! Now back again!

OOOOOMMMMMGGGG it’s going the other way!

Bishop on July 1, 2014 at 4:06 PM
Why are you watching basketball? The World Cup is on!

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:08 PM
I think he’s watching tennis.

Bitter Clinger on July 1, 2014 at 4:13 PM

He could be watching Obama read a speech from his teleprompters.

ConstantineXI on July 1, 2014 at 4:31 PM

Oh, AP, look what you’ve done.

The beautiful game meets the ugly Hot Gassers. So strange. You know you can like and understand more than one sport, right?

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:31 PM

Good Solid B-Plus on July 1, 2014 at 4:14 PM

BTW, speaking of top ranking Americans playing … I think Serena was drunk on the doubles court, today. SHe looked drunk, at least. They had to pack it in and leave after a few minutes.

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on July 1, 2014 at 4:31 PM

Yedlin is out, 2 substitutions left.

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:31 PM

Corner kick for the US

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:32 PM

Ice Hockey pretty much sucks too.

Buckshots on July 1, 2014 at 3:32 PM

I disagree. Additionally, like Rob Lowe’s character says in the minor-league hockey movie “Youngblood”: “Here’s to hockey – the only professional sport where a middle-sized white boy can still compete”.

bofh on July 1, 2014 at 4:32 PM

2 substitutions left.

El_Terrible on July 1, 2014 at 4:31 PM

*deep breath*

Fallon on July 1, 2014 at 4:33 PM

These soccer players are also a lot better to look at than NBA players or NFL players.

bluegill on July 1, 2014 at 4:26 PM

Someone else posted this a few days ago

What the ladies really think of the World Cup

1500 comments, many of them hilarious.

MichaelGabriel on July 1, 2014 at 4:35 PM

Simpsons Accurately Describes Soccer

sentinelrules on July 1, 2014 at 4:35 PM

OK, I channel surfed and made a sandwich. I missed the last 20 minutes. What did I miss?

trubble on July 1, 2014 at 4:35 PM

Jozy….hahahaha….are the rest of the Pussycats playing, too?

That should be your first clue that soccer’s lame – one of our biggest stars in men’s soccer goes by the name Jozy.

Slab Bulkhead on July 1, 2014 at 4:35 PM

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