EPA employees warned to stop defecating in the hallways

posted at 4:41 pm on June 25, 2014 by Noah Rothman

In a development that attorney, Ace of Spades blogger, and TEMS regular Gabriel Malor might find lamentably familiar, employees with the Environmental Protection Agency were recently warned to keep their bathroom habits in the bathroom.

According to communications obtained by Government Executive, employees of a Denver, Colorado office of the EPA were admonished for what the publication described as “inappropriate bathroom behavior.”

* In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

Apparently, this EPA office needed to “consult” with a workplace violence expert on the matter in order to ascertain that leaving human feces in office hallways was “very dangerous.”

When asked for a statement, EPA spokesman Richard Mylott refused to comment on what he called “ongoing personnel matters” at the Denver office.


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The EPA has reclassified it as carbon credits, so it’s ok.

Flange on June 25, 2014 at 4:44 PM

BREAKING NEWS

An investigation revealed today that it wasn’t poop. A security cam caught a liberal tripping in the hallway and losing his mind.

HotAirian on June 25, 2014 at 4:44 PM

So the EPA is literally full of…you know.

22044 on June 25, 2014 at 4:44 PM

We are in good hands

rob verdi on June 25, 2014 at 4:44 PM

You sure that employees weren’t mistaken for feces? Entirely understandable if so.

MistyLane on June 25, 2014 at 4:46 PM

They’re from the government and they’re here to help!

alchemist19 on June 25, 2014 at 4:46 PM

Should an organization whose employed play in their own poop really be in charge of protecting America’s natural environment? Is pooping in the hallways just another sign of how corrupt the government under Obama is?

oscarwilde on June 25, 2014 at 4:46 PM

wat.

Ukiah on June 25, 2014 at 4:47 PM

Well that’s our EPA polutting the environment….

sorrowen on June 25, 2014 at 4:47 PM

“inappropriate bathroom behavior”

Of course, the “appropriate bathroom behavior” was on a hard drive that crashed.

J_Crater on June 25, 2014 at 4:48 PM

Sounds like someone’s taking Sheryl Crowe’s one-piece of toilet paper environmentalist thing to the next level, and eliminating the use waste of water completely by simply letting it biodegrade in the EPA’s hallways.

jon1979 on June 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Those were wrongly delivered stool samples from Federal Healthcare clinics.

portlandon on June 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Last week we heard that the Obama Doctrine was “don’t do stupid sh-t”. I guess the EPA took that quite literally.

Doughboy on June 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM

“an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

“Placing” as in lifting with a scoop and bringing it out in the hallway ? Who does that ? How old are these people ?

burrata on June 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM

WHAAAT?!?! Who ARE these people?

I swear, who the frack are we PAYING with our tax dollars?

This is unbelievable! How much more depraved and unprofessional can you possibly GET?

Why are we PAYING for this?!?! Cut off EPA funding, NOW!

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 4:51 PM

Does anyone know how many Courics they weighed?

Flange on June 25, 2014 at 4:52 PM

Newsflash, the D-latrine is real.

Schadenfreude on June 25, 2014 at 4:52 PM

Since they are US Government employees, what happens to them if they get caught? Let me guess, 2 weeks suspension (with Pay), several mandatory counseling sessions, during regular working hours and a little frowny face in their employee records.

Wallythedog on June 25, 2014 at 4:52 PM

All on topic…scroll down too.

Schadenfreude on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

Noah? Are you searching for “safe” topics or what? Tired of being flamed?

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

At this point, It may be best to listen to some Beethoven.

celtic warrior on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

The EPA is so full of crap it’s spilling out into the hallways.

HotAirian on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

Last week we heard that the Obama Doctrine was “don’t do stupid sh-t”. I guess the EPA took that quite literally.
Doughboy on June 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM
Obama doubles down on stupid every day.

sorrowen on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

WHAAAT?!?! Who ARE these people?

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 4:51 PM

I believe their titles included:

Microsoft Exchange Administrator
Disaster Recovery Specialist
Information Systems Technician

chuckfinlay on June 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM

Since they are US Government employees, what happens to them if they get caught? Let me guess, 2 weeks suspension (with Pay), several mandatory counseling sessions, during regular working hours and a little frowny face in their employee records.

Wallythedog on June 25, 2014 at 4:52 PM

You forgot the bonus.

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM

Hey, ease up, they are doing methane studies.

Sven on June 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM

And you know full well that when they catch the, um, “depositor”, he/she won’t be fired.

The union will protect them and claim their behavior was due to job stress.

climbnjump on June 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM

I am surprised that nobody brought OWS’s “bathroom habits” up yet.

Rix on June 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM

Since they are US Government employees, what happens to them if they get caught? Let me guess, 2 weeks suspension (with Pay), several mandatory counseling sessions, during regular working hours and a little frowny face in their employee records.

Wallythedog on June 25, 2014 at 4:52 PM

You forgot the bonus.

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM

And the obligatory promotion.

oscarwilde on June 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

Occupy : EPA edition

redyoshii on June 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

There are people who poop in changing rooms. Nothing surprises me anymore.

antisense on June 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

When asked for a statement, EPA spokesman Richard Mylott refused to comment on what he called “ongoing personnel matters” at the Denver office.

The fool meant “personal (fecal) matter”

Schadenfreude on June 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

Wow…a pile of crap in the hall gets a reprimand

But emitting 1 carbon atom into the atmosphere will cause the earth to burn up.

These econuts are really fooking crazy.

txdoc on June 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

Their preezie is an azzhole.

All else is a derivative.

Schadenfreude on June 25, 2014 at 4:56 PM

Someone mistook the hallway for the American public.

DamnCat on June 25, 2014 at 4:56 PM

Top. Men.

Well, it was in the Denver,CO office. The employees were prolly too choomed to realize they were squatting in the hallway instead of in the bathroom.

But heaven forbid a private citizen squat within 500 feet of a “wetland”. They’d be subject to tens of thousands in fines and jail time. EPA employee chitting in taxpayer funded offices…a post it note saying “cut that out” and a promotion and bonus.

HumpBot Salvation on June 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM

There are people who poop in changing rooms. Nothing surprises me anymore.

antisense on June 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

What is a “changing room”? Serious question.

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM

Soon Zimbabwe will be cleaner.

Schadenfreude on June 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM

And people claim Leftists can’t find their Azz with both hands…

ToddPA on June 25, 2014 at 4:58 PM

Who put the Pee in E.P.A.!!!!!

Shy Guy on June 25, 2014 at 4:58 PM

If it’s brown, leave it on the ground.

ezspirit on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

OT: You’ll thank me.

Rainbow-Cake Recipe Inspires Comment Apocalypse

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

Are these items related? Banned from Pool and Hallway

JohnFLob on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

Apparently, this EPA office needed to “consult” with a workplace violence expert on the matter in order to ascertain that leaving human feces in office hallways was “very dangerous.”

So these imbeciles had to call in an “EXPERT” to tell them that someone shatting in the HALLWAY is a health risk? REALLY?!?!

Are they going to have to form a committee or commission out a STUDY before they’ll be able to discern there MIGHT be an ISSUE there?!?!

Seriously, the EPA should be abolished, NOW.

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

These are the people making the laws. (since regulation is law now).

Awesome.

tetriskid on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

If it’s brown, leave it on the ground.

ezspirit on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

If it’s yellow..let it mellow.

HumpBot Salvation on June 25, 2014 at 5:00 PM

C’mon. They must have hired former homeless people or indigenous tribal immigrants for some of whom this may have once been a common cultural practice. Why is the EPA so culturally insensitive?

Who is the EPA to so arrogantly determine what is “inappropriate bathroom behavior.”

/SNARK

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:00 PM

These a-holes made Virginia to become a Blue State.

sentinelrules on June 25, 2014 at 5:00 PM

These fine folks are just Practicing for what they want
to do to Sarah Palin….

ToddPA on June 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM

Soon Zimbabwe will be cleaner.

Schadenfreude on June 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM

Compared to some of our urban cores, it may very well be now.

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM

Just more proof that de-evolution is real.

Wallythedog on June 25, 2014 at 5:04 PM

EPA employees warned to stop defecating in the hallways

EPA employees creating environmental hazards in places where none existed.

Job security for the Environmental Poop Agency.

rukiddingme on June 25, 2014 at 5:04 PM

These a-holes made Virginia to become a Blue State.

sentinelrules on June 25, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Congratulations to them! Progress on making all of Obummer’s 57 states blue as the ultimate goal. Red be gone!

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:07 PM

To all employees:

New guidelines state that pooping in the hallways is no longer an acceptable mode of fecal matter disposal.
Oh, and bonuses for everyone!

ROCnPhilly on June 25, 2014 at 5:08 PM

When asked for a statement, EPA spokesman Richard Mylott refused to comment on what he called “ongoing personnel matters” at the Denver office.

Ongoing ? As in pooping in hallways is still on ?

burrata on June 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM

employees with the Environmental Protection Agency were recently warned to keep their bathroom habits in the bathroom.

Who has to tell their EMPLOYEES that they’re supposed shat in the BATHROOM!?! OH EMM GEEEEEEEEE!!! How old are these people, 3?

So we’re employing and paying large salaries to people who don’t know where the proper place to POO IS?

This is just fracking ridiculous.

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 5:11 PM

I dunno, at least they weren’t caught doing porn all day.

That’s good, I guess.

Lance Corvette on June 25, 2014 at 5:12 PM

I dunno, at least they weren’t caught doing porn all day.

That’s good, I guess.

Lance Corvette on June 25, 2014 at 5:12 PM

No, this is worse. Because all the rest of the day, when they’re not shatting in the hallways, they’re undoubtedly watching porn or otherwise NOT working.

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 5:15 PM

I dunno, at least they weren’t caught doing porn all day.

That’s good, I guess.

Lance Corvette on June 25, 2014 at 5:12 PM

Spoken too soon.

Contractors built secret man caves in an EPA warehouse, an employee pretended to work for the CIA to get unlimited vacations and one worker even spent most of his time on the clock looking at pornography.

rukiddingme on June 25, 2014 at 5:16 PM

Is there a pattern here?

EPA employees thinking nothing of defecating in hallways….

…Verbie and the other trolls thinking nothing of just defecating and trolling in carefully selected threads while….

Athos on June 25, 2014 at 5:18 PM

I always knew the EPA was a shitty agency.

redguy on June 25, 2014 at 5:18 PM

At this point, It may be best to listen to some Beethoven.

celtic warrior on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

The second movement of his second symphony.

fortcoins on June 25, 2014 at 5:18 PM

“Placing” as in lifting with a scoop and bringing it out in the hallway ? Who does that ? How old are these people ?

burrata on June 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM

It’s not a matter of age. It’s a third-world thing … makes Barky feel more at home if he ever swings by the Denver office. And the Occupoopers like feces decor, too.

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on June 25, 2014 at 5:19 PM

http://twitchy.com/2014/06/25/whoa-lois-lerner-reportedly-tried-to-target-sen-grassley-for-irs-examination/

damn…maybe now something will happen??

dmacleo on June 25, 2014 at 5:18 PM

That bitch just needs to be thrown in jail.

redguy on June 25, 2014 at 5:19 PM

The Sh*t Storm is brewing:
(sarc)

Tralier Park Boys : The best of mr.laheys sh*t analogy
*******************************************************

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFuKkM-tqN0

canopfor on June 25, 2014 at 5:20 PM

No, this is worse. Because all the rest of the day, when they’re not shatting in the hallways, they’re undoubtedly watching porn or otherwise NOT working.

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 5:15 PM

Maybe watching too much porn, finding it difficult to break away and get to the bathroom in time.

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:21 PM

EPA employees warned to stop defecating in the hallways
…leftist d-cRAT bureaucRATs are so full of it, they can’t help themselves – it just oozes out everywhere.

MicahStone on June 25, 2014 at 5:22 PM

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM

That was hilarious. Guess that is what the internet does to people….

Barred on June 25, 2014 at 5:22 PM

Al Roker had been seen lurking in the hallway just before the eliminated human waste was discovered.

Kissmygrits on June 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

first off let me just say i find the whole yellow mellow and brown down thing gross. ALWAYS flush in my house i dont care it is nasty. secondly let me say my husband works for a gas station ( they give great benefits to be honest_) he comes home every night with horror stories of having to clean the restrooms. there are unfortunately a lot of people out there who are just plain nasty. there have been several occasions where he has gone to check the condition of the restrooms and found someone had literally PAINTED the walls and mirror with excrement. people are disgusting

katee bayer on June 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

Maybe watching too much porn, finding it difficult to break away and get to the bathroom in time.

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:21 PM

They’re probably getting high on pot on the taxpayer dime when they’re not surfing porn and shatting in the halls.

Meople on June 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

Ongoing ? As in pooping in hallways is still on ?

burrata on June 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM

burrata:

Endless
Pooping
Agency!!!!:0

canopfor on June 25, 2014 at 5:24 PM

Isn’t this a lot like Obama crapping all over the Constitution?

gonnjos on June 25, 2014 at 5:24 PM

PAINTED the walls and mirror with excrement. people are disgusting

katee bayer on June 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

katee bayer: It appears, your hubby, has been victimized,

by Lefty Liberal Performance Artists!!!!!!!!——:0
(sarc)

canopfor on June 25, 2014 at 5:28 PM

OT – well, ok, related to government malfeasance and misbehavior….

Emails show Lois Lerner sought to audit GOP Senator Chuck Grassely

Today, Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp (R-MI) announced the Internal Revenue Service’s (IRS) targeting of conservative individuals includes a sitting United States Senator. According to emails reviewed by the Committee under its Section 6103 authority, which allows the Committee to review confidential taxpayer information, Lois Lerner sought to have Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) referred for IRS examination.

“We have seen a lot of unbelievable things in this investigation, but the fact that Lois Lerner attempted to initiate an apparently baseless IRS examination against a sitting Republican United States Senator is shocking,” said Camp. “At every turn, Lerner was using the IRS as a tool for political purposes in defiance of taxpayer rights. We may never know the full extent of the abuse since the IRS conveniently lost two years of Lerner emails, not to mention those of other key figures in this scandal. The fact that DOJ refuses to investigate the IRS’s abuses or appoint a special counsel demonstrates, yet again, this Administration’s unwillingness to uphold the rule of law.”

To the left, unless power is used, it is wasted.

Athos on June 25, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Unless we reverse this quickly, we are seeing the nation in a death spiral. It begins on our knees in prayer to the only One who can help us.

paul1149 on June 25, 2014 at 5:30 PM

They’re just trying to implement a greener waste disposal system.

The laborer with the “honey bucket” was on his way to pick it up.

There Goes the Neighborhood on June 25, 2014 at 5:32 PM

The EPA employee was cutting down on water pollution by pooping in the hallway. All he was missing was the cop car.

The carbon footprint was brown.

Steve Z on June 25, 2014 at 5:33 PM

canopfor on June 25, 2014 at 5:28 PM

it would seem so ! :) but i must say he is never very happy with the performers!

katee bayer on June 25, 2014 at 5:33 PM

What is a “changing room”? Serious question.

kcewa on June 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM

Seriously? Ok.

Go to any clothing retailer (Wal-Mart has them I think, JC Penney, etc.) grab a shirt and some slacks… head over and ask where you can try them on to make sure they fit.

The tiny room in a hallway with most of a door (often not a full door), a mirror, and a bench is a “changing room” so you can change clothes to try on your purchase.

Don’t crap on the floor in there. That’s impolite. :P

gekkobear on June 25, 2014 at 5:34 PM

The EPA is so full of crap it’s spilling out into the hallways.

HotAirian on June 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

Shut down the thread. We have a winner.

BKennedy on June 25, 2014 at 5:34 PM

And who reported this–a stool-pigeon?

Dr. Charles G. Waugh on June 25, 2014 at 5:36 PM

He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.

I guess the only thing left is to put the poop in a paper bag and light it on fire.

tommer74 on June 25, 2014 at 5:36 PM

EPA Employee: Mommy, Mommy!! I made poo poo!!

EPA Director: Great Honey!! Where???

EPA Employee: (Points to hallway)…

(With apologies to the folks at Chlorox)

mikeintsn on June 25, 2014 at 5:43 PM

canopfor on June 25, 2014 at 5:28 PM

it would seem so ! :) but i must say he is never very happy with the performers!

katee bayer on June 25, 2014 at 5:33 PM

katee bayer:Lol,..no kidding,…ick:0

canopfor on June 25, 2014 at 5:44 PM

Let them eat cake…

When Marie Antoinette was still young and adored by the French for her beauty and style, foreign visitors to Paris would buy a seat on a coche d’osier destined for Versailles. Latecomers or those short on coin would ride on the roof of the slow-moving carriage.

Many visitors were underwhelmed by the palace and found the apartments to be dirty (pets, servants, and even aristocrats frequently urinated or defecated in the hallways), but few complained about the magnificent gardens. The Grand Canal (where Louis XIV often staged mock naval battles) and the Orangerie (with fruit trees from Spain, Italy and Portugal) delighted many, as did the full-operational fountains.

The Sun King and his administration.

Walter L. Newton on June 25, 2014 at 5:45 PM

The eco-nuts at the EPA have to have low flow toilets in their offices. Along with mandated one ply TP. Under those conditions humans become animals to stick it to the man.

tjexcite on June 25, 2014 at 5:48 PM

The EPA hire little Honey Poo Poo?

JohnFLob on June 25, 2014 at 5:50 PM

Yes, but is it green?

formwiz on June 25, 2014 at 5:51 PM

Yes, but is it green?

formwiz on June 25, 2014 at 5:51 PM

Could be. Depend on what they’ve been consuming.

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:54 PM

Hey, Noah:

David Burge @iowahawkblog · 28m

Impossible to make this up: EPA sends memo to employees asking them to stop shitting in the hallways http://hotair.com/archives/2014/06/25/epa-employees-warned-to-stop-defecating-in-the-hallways/

davidk on June 25, 2014 at 5:54 PM

The EPA hire little Honey Poo Poo?

JohnFLob on June 25, 2014 at 5:50 PM

“Who ordered the poo poo platter?”

hawkeye54 on June 25, 2014 at 5:55 PM

And who reported this–a stool-pigeon?

Dr. Charles G. Waugh on June 25, 2014 at 5:36 PM

That made me laugh.

davidk on June 25, 2014 at 5:56 PM

Walter L. Newton on June 25, 2014 at 5:45 PM

Well linked. Kudos.

As Barack likes to say, ‘It’s good to be King!’

Athos on June 25, 2014 at 5:58 PM

New way to frame an old rhetorical question – Does an EPA bureaucrat #@*% in the hall?

Lou Budvis on June 25, 2014 at 6:02 PM

first off let me just say i find the whole yellow mellow and brown down thing gross. ALWAYS flush in my house i dont care it is nasty. secondly let me say my husband works for a gas station ( they give great benefits to be honest_) he comes home every night with horror stories of having to clean the restrooms. there are unfortunately a lot of people out there who are just plain nasty. there have been several occasions where he has gone to check the condition of the restrooms and found someone had literally PAINTED the walls and mirror with excrement. people are disgusting

katee bayer on June 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

I once worked for the City of Olathe, KS. I was the traffic mainetence technician (lines and signs, but somehow, one of my assigned duties was maintenance of the city parking garage. The stairwells … .

You are correct. People are disgusting.

davidk on June 25, 2014 at 6:02 PM

How do you think that new Dimocrats are created? The old ones squat in the hall and pinch off a few. What do you expect out of filthy animals in a scumbag party. Eff em all.

bbinfl on June 25, 2014 at 6:02 PM

first off let me just say i find the whole yellow mellow and brown down thing gross. ALWAYS flush in my house i dont care it is nasty. secondly let me say my husband works for a gas station ( they give great benefits to be honest_) he comes home every night with horror stories of having to clean the restrooms. there are unfortunately a lot of people out there who are just plain nasty. there have been several occasions where he has gone to check the condition of the restrooms and found someone had literally PAINTED the walls and mirror with excrement. people are disgusting

katee bayer on June 25, 2014 at 5:23 PM

I once worked for the City of Olathe, KS. I was the traffic maintenance technician (lines and signs, but somehow, one of my assigned duties was maintenance of the city parking garage. The stairwells … .

You are correct. People are disgusting.

davidk on June 25, 2014 at 6:02 PM

don’t know how that happened.

davidk on June 25, 2014 at 6:05 PM

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