America in crisis: Menswear designers rolling out … the “short suit”

posted at 3:31 pm on June 9, 2014 by Allahpundit

Reminds me of a question I had after seeing “Her” — namely, how might the fashions in that movie, set in America in the near future, plausibly evolve? How would we/could we get from guys wearing baseball caps and jeans to Joaquin Phoenix sporting a mustache and slacks pulled up to his nipples circa 2030?

This is how. This is how it begins.

From all perspectives, the short-suit is an odd pairing. Sartorially, the look is equal parts business and schoolboy. Functionally, it’s both breezy and stifling, and socks are a no-no, unless they go up to one’s knees. The list of people who can pull it off doesn’t stretch much beyond professionals in Bermuda and street-style icons such as Nick Wooster and Pharrell.

[F]or most guys it’s a gutsy decision. For retailers, however, it’s not very risky at all. Most high-volume brands focus on staples, which is a great way to capture the everyman en masse. But staples generally don’t go out of style and thus don’t need replacing that often. The short-suit is something different. It may go the way of square-toed dress shoes next week…

“It’s an easy and affordable way to kind of be in step with what’s going on,” Patrick says. “It’s also a merchandising play, because guys will come in and buy ties and shirts and a bunch of other stuff.”

Business Insider has an extensive photo gallery. We can all agree, I hope, that the shorts with chiffon paneling are … bold.

cdg

Their problem here, I think, is that they’re trying to push this directly into the cultural mainstream without the obligatory detour through a subculture first, where it can acquire the necessary patina of cool to make it a target for cooption by the rest of us. J. Crew is selling it, for cripes sake. If they’re serious about trying to make this lame bird fly, they should offer Jay-Z a few million bucks to wear it for a few months and see what happens. If they don’t, this is going to end up as quasi-ironic “bro wear” for semi-formal occasions this summer, and everyone will hate it because everyone hates bros. Maybe the designers can convince, say, Matthew McConaughey to wear it to the Oscars next year; he’s the sort of guy, I sense, who might see the humor in it, and he won’t get beat up too badly by critics because, for the moment at least, tastemakers have decided he can do no wrong. Red-carpet photo caption: “All right, all right, all right.”

Realistically, there’s only one man who can pull off this look. Exit question: Why a long-sleeved jacket and short pants instead of long pants and a short-sleeved jacket? If you’re going to take this much of a risk in alienating women, you might as well hedge your bet by showing off the guns.


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Comment pages: 1 2 3

This is just wrong on so many levels.

lovesthesun on June 9, 2014 at 6:49 PM

It’s a fabulous look.

BL@KBIRD on June 9, 2014 at 6:53 PM

So…this is the Millenial Mullet?? Business on top, par-TAY on the bottom?

Is it too much to ask any more for men to LOOK like men? Please?

Newtie and the Beauty on June 9, 2014 at 6:54 PM

Funny, Angus Young was my first immediate thought upon seeing the pic.

Chuckles3 on June 9, 2014 at 7:04 PM

I believe they wear something like this in NZ during the summer but with short sleeved shirts / jackets .

EnglishRogue on June 9, 2014 at 7:05 PM

Fits right in with the never-grow-up generation. Bunny suits and gummy vitamins.
crankyoldlady on June 9, 2014 at 6:47 PM

Except for the ONE poster who TOTALLY ROCKS a bunny suit… ;-)

Newtie and the Beauty on June 9, 2014 at 7:06 PM

Business Insider has an extensive photo gallery. We can all agree, I hope, that the shorts with chiffon paneling are … bold.

o_O

Newtie and the Beauty on June 9, 2014 at 7:08 PM

This outfit would be perfect if it had a ‘hoodie’ attached to the jacket.

Uniblogger on June 9, 2014 at 7:09 PM

Piss off, Allah. You make big joke, but this is just the usual gays and black culture sissies. No one in America with two nuts is wearing this stupid sh1t. It’s jeans and baseball caps, and “dressing up” means a polo shirt, sans the polo.

And the queerfashion industry can’t change that.

Jaibones on June 9, 2014 at 7:12 PM

Before WWII boys wore shorts and knickers. They couldn’t wait until they were old enough to wear long pants. In the 1800′s toddler boys wore dresses. Makes it hard to identify people in photos.

crankyoldlady on June 9, 2014 at 7:13 PM

The logical endpoint of this is that men will have to start shaving their legs.

Progressive Heretic on June 9, 2014 at 7:44 PM

Well, the shorts are Bermuda Shorts, already a thing on that British island.

A short-sleeved jacket? sorta called a “waistcoat” seen HERE. As soon as thy can take an order, I’m getting one.

Mazz on June 9, 2014 at 8:01 PM

You’d never see that alpha bear nailing every bear in Europe wearing this.

lorien1973 on June 9, 2014 at 8:23 PM

These shorts actually work well with Rock me Tonight:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR0j7sModCI

lorien1973 on June 9, 2014 at 8:31 PM

About 14 years ago and again 5 years later, the metrosexuals tried to market ankle length kilts or what I call long plaid skirts. Never caught on…

Blake on June 9, 2014 at 8:37 PM

Funny, the guy with the chiffon addition won’t show his whole face.

Barred on June 9, 2014 at 8:38 PM

The BBC did a documentary a few years back on the history of men’s suits with Alaister Sooke. It was pretty good. And it proved that nothing beats a well tailored suit.

Blake on June 9, 2014 at 8:41 PM

I hope they wear these in all Dem cities.

faraway on June 9, 2014 at 8:44 PM

Is that one of Hillary’s pant suits?

faraway on June 9, 2014 at 8:53 PM

Completely missed the point AP.

nobar on June 9, 2014 at 3:46 PM

C’mon. Say what you want about gays, but they have better fashion sense than this.

Allahpundit on June 9, 2014 at 3:51 PM

I don’t know about this. A gay guy with fashion sense has better fashion sense than this, but most gay guys don’t seem to have the fashion sense the stereotype would give them. I bet the worst offenders of all planetary eyeballs are gay guys who mistakenly believe an abnormally enthusiastic appreciation for handsome men rising from pools also gives them “the eye.”

Axe on June 9, 2014 at 8:53 PM

Just don’t walk up to me in one of those things and expect to be taken seriously. Then, when you walk off in a huff, don’t complain about your unemployment.

Idiots.

Diluculo on June 9, 2014 at 8:55 PM

A very quick and final way to get fired.

If you do not believe me try it.

1sttofight on June 9, 2014 at 9:03 PM

Does it come in denim?

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 9:04 PM

No, seriously, can I attach a set of snake chaps to that? Need to know.

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 9:12 PM

C’mon. Say what you want about gays, but they have better fashion sense than this.

Allahpundit on June 9, 2014 at 3:51 PM

It’s the NY-based homosexual fashion designers that come up with this crap.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on June 9, 2014 at 3:55 PM

Bing. My gay friends/family look and dress like me. Hairy, overweight bums in khakis, jeans, t-shirts and polos. Allah’s stylish gay NY friends may scoff at “cutting edge fashion”, but make no mistake, the designers and models of this crap are nearly all gay.

Jaibones on June 9, 2014 at 9:19 PM

Does it come in denim?

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 9:04 PM

Or couduroy.

CW on June 9, 2014 at 9:27 PM

OK. My wife says I need to get in touch with my feminine side. Will it go with by dress crocks? The plaid lined ones?

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 9:30 PM

my

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 9:30 PM

I’ve lived through Edwardian suits, Nehru Suits and Polyester suits; I’ve seen it all.
Give me a guy in a pair of jeans and T-shirt for play and a traditional suit for work-I’m a happy girl and my guy is confortable. I want men to look like men…not gay plastic Ken dolls or Dog Eater in his Nation of Islam black suit.

AppraisHer on June 9, 2014 at 9:43 PM

Pharell rocked the look at the Oscars, but not too many other guys could pull it off! Definitely limited to the arts and fashion industries.
http://hollywoodlife.com/2014/03/03/pharrell-williams-oscars-shorts-2014-academy-awards-outfit/

cam2 on June 9, 2014 at 9:55 PM

Well you don’t expect hot chocolate pajama boys to party out on the town in their jammies, now do you?

Reminds me of a question I had after seeing “Her”

You may be confusing this with the sequel, Been Her.

ghostwalker1 on June 9, 2014 at 9:58 PM

I don’t know about this. A gay guy with fashion sense has better fashion sense than this, but most gay guys don’t seem to have the fashion sense the stereotype would give them. I bet the worst offenders of all planetary eyeballs are gay guys who mistakenly believe an abnormally enthusiastic appreciation for handsome men rising from pools also gives them “the eye.”

Axe on June 9, 2014 at 8:53 PM

A bit like ‘The French are so chic and fashionable’ line that is overplayed.

I mean come on, these are the people who carpet their walls .

EnglishRogue on June 9, 2014 at 10:18 PM

What’s next? mens short-alls?

monalisa on June 9, 2014 at 10:26 PM

Any moment now, the [guy] will pull out one of these and have at it:
http://www.fanstory.com/usr/397397/lollipop1.jpg

rottenrobbie on June 9, 2014 at 10:26 PM

A new way for businessmen to out themselves.

John the Libertarian on June 9, 2014 at 10:31 PM

Switch the shorts for a kilt and I’m there.

Well, my ancestors were, at any rate.

TexasDan on June 9, 2014 at 11:02 PM

Actually, it’s not that bad of a look if you get rid of those ridiculous shoes. You gotta get some of those fluorescent, multi-color running shoes, and either get rid of the socks, or do something more creative than those sloppy black ones.

koolbob on June 9, 2014 at 11:08 PM

Is this the revenge of the single Japanese woman, who wants the naughty school-boy look?

Iblis on June 9, 2014 at 11:39 PM

TexasDan on June 9, 2014 at 11:02 PM

Well, those Serta sheep ARE pretty cute, and they don’t criticize your “worn in” T shirts.

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 11:53 PM

This is why we shouldn’t get rid of bullies in school.

V7_Sport on June 10, 2014 at 12:14 AM

All he needs is a beanie with a propeller on top, a huge lollypop and a balloon tied to his wrist. Next stop is adult onesies.

V7_Sport on June 10, 2014 at 12:16 AM

This is what Obama Pajamaboi wears when he’s not in his onesie.

Nahanni on June 10, 2014 at 12:37 AM

They had to ask Angus how to rock this look. Since they failed, nothing can save them.

If you went the semi-counter-culture route, and had a bunch of guys going Angus, in the right places you might get away with that, and it could grow.

The look as shown? Clean out your desk; you’re gone.

David Blue on June 10, 2014 at 1:22 AM

Well, those Serta sheep ARE pretty cute, and they don’t criticize your “worn in” T shirts.

WryTrvllr on June 9, 2014 at 11:53 PM

Are you laboring under the impression that Scotsmen wear t-shirts?

TexasDan on June 10, 2014 at 1:22 AM

I wonder if men will ever return to being men! It’s one thing for women to wear pants (especially in sub-zero) weather; jeans, fine. But “men” in dress shorts? Give me a break.

Will you guys PULEEZE start dressing like men? Thank you.

MN J on June 10, 2014 at 1:37 AM

Obama’s Pajama Boy designs a suit.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just wear a big “Beta Male Wannabe” and/or “Beat Me Up for Fun” sign around your neck?

landlines on June 10, 2014 at 2:21 AM

I promise if I see someone wear this “thing” I won’t laugh…..

…..out loud.

itsspideyman on June 10, 2014 at 2:43 AM

My daughter says “eeww” when I change her poopy diaper in a certain accent. She said the same thing when she saw these photos.

sram on June 10, 2014 at 3:16 AM

A short-sleeved jacket? sorta called a “waistcoat” seen HERE

Nope. A waistcoat, or vest, is old school. However, there *was* a short-sleeved suit option 5 or so years ago. It lasted about a nanosecond, but it existed.

My guess is the same for this. Classic looks never go out of style. And women want men to complement their looks, and be neat and clean next to them.

A well turned out suit, cut right, looks perfect on most men.

Bigurn on June 10, 2014 at 5:28 AM

Some women won’t be happy till men wear pink skirts…..

Don L on June 10, 2014 at 6:11 AM

No doubt it is built with a standard button down panel on the rear end, because if you wear this, you’ll no doubt want that too.

Smegley on June 10, 2014 at 6:42 AM

And there’s a transgendered version called … a dress.

kregg on June 10, 2014 at 7:04 AM

What next, kilts?

sadatoni on June 10, 2014 at 7:23 AM

What about a lovely chiffon skirt with a bold draping of color for a sash?

Why don’t people just get it over and walk around naked and have sex on street corners like Darwin believed we should (like animals).

Truly the West is collapsing, maybe Islam will actually put the culture out of its misery. People must look at this in the Middle East and think we are nothing but idiots.

PappyD61 on June 10, 2014 at 7:43 AM

The only thing gayer looking than this is Obama during a work-out session.

AZCoyote on June 10, 2014 at 8:01 AM

And, the wussification of America continues…

Our enemies are laughing their arses off.

kingsjester on June 10, 2014 at 8:39 AM

Pharell rocked the look at the Oscars, but not too many other guys could pull it off! Definitely limited to the arts and fashion industries.
http://hollywoodlife.com/2014/03/03/pharrell-williams-oscars-shorts-2014-academy-awards-outfit/

cam2 on June 9, 2014 at 9:55 PM

He looks like a dork.

faraway on June 10, 2014 at 9:14 AM

He looks like a dork.

faraway on June 10, 2014 at 9:14 AM

Yup.

Fallon on June 10, 2014 at 9:28 AM

What next, kilts?

sadatoni on June 10, 2014 at 7:23 AM

At least it’s possible to look badass in a kilt.

CurtZHP on June 10, 2014 at 9:55 AM

At least it’s possible to look badass in a kilt.

CurtZHP on June 10, 2014 at 9:55 AM

Oh yes it is…..Scottish troops wore kilts up to 1940 and were a fearsome lot.

hawkeye54 on June 10, 2014 at 11:05 AM

Some women won’t be happy till men wear pink skirts…..

Don L on June 10, 2014 at 6:11 AM

Some men too.

hawkeye54 on June 10, 2014 at 11:06 AM

STUPID

Delsa on June 10, 2014 at 12:04 PM

Agh. No. Just … no.

RebeccaH on June 10, 2014 at 12:14 PM

Fagwear.

Bubba Redneck on June 10, 2014 at 12:21 PM

No doubt it is built with a standard button down panel on the rear end, because if you wear this, you’ll no doubt want that too.

Smegley on June 10, 2014 at 6:42 AM

Thread winner!!

Bubba Redneck on June 10, 2014 at 12:21 PM

Jeez, collie would you quit drooling all over the floor.

My collie says:

I can’t help it CC. Those shorts have just got “bite the mailman on the *ss” written all over them.

CyberCipher on June 10, 2014 at 12:26 PM

can’t wait to see Pajama Boy greet the foreign leaders in his new suit!

Our days of fame will be Kaput!

Obamatrix on June 10, 2014 at 3:22 PM

Obviously, this shorts suit idea isn’t good for dudes with bird legs.

WestTexasBirdDog on June 10, 2014 at 4:57 PM

Our enemies are laughing their arses off.

kingsjester on June 10, 2014 at 8:39 AM

Old Order Amish look less ridiculously dressed at this point.

LawfulGood on June 11, 2014 at 12:46 AM

Pajama Boy is all business.

stop2think on June 11, 2014 at 7:36 AM

Since this fashion is clearly an effective means of birth control, is it covered under the ACA?

sewer urchin on June 11, 2014 at 9:12 AM

Comment pages: 1 2 3