Must see: America, meet your next president

posted at 12:41 pm on May 15, 2014 by Allahpundit

Via David Freddoso, every minute of Harley Brown is worth watching, but if you’re too lazy to skip around, at least watch the bit that begins at 19:40 and his closing statement at 52:20, when he reveals that God has indeed ordained that he’ll occupy the Oval Office someday. It’s not that far-fetched, really. As I recall, Lincoln wore biker gear throughout his debates with Stephen Douglas and also had a master’s degree in “raising hell.”

Believe it or not, there is a brilliant strategy at work here. But it’s not Brown’s.

Idaho Republican Gov. Butch Otter (no relation) is facing a primary challenge this year from Russ Fulcher, a conservative state senator. Idaho is a really conservative place and Otter has angered his party’s base by supporting the Common Core math and science standards, so the incumbent isn’t taking any chances. When it came time for Otter and Fulcher to debate, the governor insisted on opening up the floor. He argued that all candidates should be allowed on stage, which sounds nice and democratic in theory, but in practice meant that Fulcher had to split time with two people who will never be governor—also-rans Haley Brown and Walt Bayes.

Otter wanted the debate to be a circus, knowing that most of the coverage the next day would be about Brown and the Jasper Beardly to his left, not Fulcher. Right now, Jeb Bush and all the other “safe” establishment choices for 2016 are watching this clip and having the very same thought about the upcoming GOP debates: Alex Jones, moderator.

Exit question: Brown would probably stand a chance in Minnesota, wouldn’t he? (Sorry, Ed.)

Update (Ed): It’s bad enough that you got to the video of the greatest political speech ever before I did. Now you have to insult the voters of my state by reminding us of … well … ourselves. Dagnabbit. Of course, I’m not sure that even Jesse Ventura ran this far off the rails:

“A substantial portion of my political campaign is campaigning against political correctness,” Harley boasted, noting that he included motorcyclists and Irishmen in the jokes. “I like blue collar values…I hit everybody. Jews, Polish people, Irish, Italians, religious jokes, and black jokes. And by the way, my wife screened that, and we took the real hardcore zingers out.”

“I’m about as politically correct as your proverbially turd in the punchbowl,” Harley continued. “I’m going for the vote of the real people out there, not these bondage types, people who don’t have a clue about picking up strangers at night and hauling them off god knows where. Try that for a while.”

Be sure to follow the link to get a taste of Harley Brown’s Poetry Corner.


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Better than the current crop.

Anyone from the white/yellow pages w/b better.

Schadenfreude on May 15, 2014 at 12:42 PM

The final days are nigh.

Schadenfreude on May 15, 2014 at 12:44 PM

Ben Carson/Harley Brown 2016!

steebo77 on May 15, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Could he possibly be worse that Obama?

oscarwilde on May 15, 2014 at 12:45 PM

…is Melissa in Junior High?

KOOLAID2 on May 15, 2014 at 12:48 PM

Ok, time to go do important stuff, like drink beer and work on raqce cars…

oscarwilde on May 15, 2014 at 12:49 PM

Did the guy with the beard survive the debates?

Oil Can on May 15, 2014 at 12:49 PM

I doubt a real biker would wear a tie with that outfit….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM

Turd in a punchbowl.

Bmore on May 15, 2014 at 12:52 PM

I’m holding out for a black, machine gun toting, former pro wrestler and porn star….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:53 PM

I doubt a real biker would wear a tie with that outfit….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM

I saw bunch of older guys on Harley’s. They look slightly rough, had a little bit of street cred. However, that cred completely disappeared when they pulled into Starbucks.

Femilization…..In Progress.

Oil Can on May 15, 2014 at 12:55 PM

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, porn star and five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion!!!! A great man, a great american. He will serve up a can of whoop @ss if you cross him. He will stomp your @ss if you don’t!
JOIN THE CAMACHO 2016 MOVEMENT! CAMACHO WILL SAVE AMERICA…………….FVCK YEA!!!

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:56 PM

Could he possibly be worse that Obama?

oscarwilde on May 15, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Is THAT even possible?

hawkeye54 on May 15, 2014 at 12:58 PM

Rob Ford joined a motorcycle gang and moved to Idaho?

Common Sense Floridian on May 15, 2014 at 12:58 PM

I saw bunch of older guys on Harley’s. They look slightly rough, had a little bit of street cred. However, that cred completely disappeared when they pulled into Starbucks.

Femilization…..In Progress.

Oil Can on May 15, 2014 at 12:55 PM

Years ago, I worked at a company called Kaman Sciences. We had a group of managers who all rode Harleys – and one suggested one time that they were thinking of all getting black leather jackets made up with a “club” patch – “The Sons of Science”.
No shiite….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:59 PM

two people who will never be governor—also-rans Haley Brown and Walt Bayes.

…definitely presidential prospects!…Joe Biden would be hard pressed!
Haley Brown
Walt Bayes
2016

KOOLAID2 on May 15, 2014 at 12:59 PM

I’m holding out for a black, machine gun toting, former pro wrestler and porn star….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:53 PM

Actually THAT WOULDN’T be worse than we have in the WH now.

hawkeye54 on May 15, 2014 at 1:01 PM

A Hotairian with the courage to be honest.

Refreshing.

everdiso on May 15, 2014 at 1:02 PM

Does he support amnesty?

will77jeff on May 15, 2014 at 1:03 PM

Actually THAT WOULDN’T be worse than we have in the WH now.

hawkeye54 on May 15, 2014 at 1:01 PM

No – it wouldn’t.
After the last 5 years – I’d go for that in a heartbeat.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:04 PM

A Hotairian with the courage to be honest.

Refreshing.

everdiso on May 15, 2014 at 1:02 PM

Better than the current crop.

Anyone from the white/yellow pages w/b better.

Schadenfreude on May 15, 2014 at 12:42 PM

You referring to that one?

VegasRick on May 15, 2014 at 1:04 PM

Guy looks like the grand marshal at a gay pride parade.

Mark1971 on May 15, 2014 at 1:04 PM

Years ago, I worked at a company called Kaman Sciences. We had a group of managers who all rode Harleys – and one suggested one time that they were thinking of all getting black leather jackets made up with a “club” patch – “The Sons of Science”.
No shiite….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:59 PM

What happens when Sons of Science meets the Hell’s Angels? What is the protocol?

Oil Can on May 15, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Haley Brown…at least watch the bit that begins at 19:40

…don’t watch…listen!…Joe Biden has a brother we didn’t know about!

KOOLAID2 on May 15, 2014 at 1:06 PM

God sure is going around telling a lot of people they are going to be president. God told Ted Cruz’s dad that that his son was going to be be president. God told this guy he was going to be president too.

God told my mother i was meant to oversee a vast land. Now I am starting to wonder if God is not a player. Going around whispering sweet nothing in everybody’s ears.

coolrepublica on May 15, 2014 at 1:06 PM

Does he support amnesty?

will77jeff on May 15, 2014 at 1:03 PM

For illegal aliens or for people who haven’t paid their taxes the last few years?

Happy Nomad on May 15, 2014 at 1:11 PM

What happens when Sons of Science meets the Hell’s Angels? What is the protocol?

Oil Can on May 15, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Their biggest concern, and the reason they did NOT have the patch made, was the possibility they’d meet up with the actual Sons of Silence (which is pretty big around here, and known to be very violent and ruthless), and have a disagreement over trademark infringement.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:12 PM

Guy looks like the grand marshal at a gay pride parade.

Mark1971 on May 15, 2014 at 1:04 PM

LOL. Ya – that’s closer to my first thought – the old guy head master of the S&M group in Dodgeball.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:14 PM

Refreshing.

eradipshit on May 15, 2014 at 1:02 PM

…you…think douching with sludge byproducts every quarter of a century…is refreshing !

KOOLAID2 on May 15, 2014 at 1:16 PM

Put this guy on the same ticket as the “Rent is too damn high” guy.

Complete sweep of the electoral college.

malclave on May 15, 2014 at 1:17 PM

LOL. Ya – that’s closer to my first thought – the old guy head master of the S&M group in Dodgeball.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:14 PM

LMAO!

bazil9 on May 15, 2014 at 1:19 PM

Put this guy on the same ticket as the “Rent is too damn high” guy.

Complete sweep of the electoral college.

malclave on May 15, 2014 at 1:17 PM

Obamaphone lady for White House press secretary. She’d actually do a better job than Jay “lying weasel” Carney.

Happy Nomad on May 15, 2014 at 1:19 PM

Does he support amnesty?

will77jeff on May 15, 2014 at 1:03 PM

For illegal aliens or for people who haven’t paid their taxes the last few years?

Happy Nomad on May 15, 2014 at 1:11 PM

Or for actual aliens?

Seamus on May 15, 2014 at 1:21 PM

Or for actual aliens?

Seamus on May 15, 2014 at 1:21 PM

Well, for actual aliens we’d have to either nuke the whole planet from orbit, or give up entirely and become their slaves and food source – well, unless we can manage to insert a virus into the main computer of their mother ship….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:25 PM

I’m holding out for a black, machine gun toting, former pro wrestler and porn star….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 12:53 PM

Haven’t Wrestled since JHS Varsity…and those movies were for private consumption only!

Otherwise, while I appreciate your vote..“If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve.”*

*-h/t to Gen. W.T Sherman (ret.) :o)

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:31 PM

I thought he was going to start talking about his van down by the river and government cheese.

chris0christies0donut on May 15, 2014 at 1:32 PM

the guy’s a seabee. that tells me all I need to know about the man.

they work hard, don’t stand for ceremony, aren’t afraid to get dirty, and they FIGHT.

we need a lot more of that in higher places.

warhorse_03826 on May 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:31 PM

So, you’re not Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho?
Too bad, I would have voted for you.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM

My criteria for a president has narrowed to one topic–that he opposes Amnesty. If he meets that criterion -and is the only candidate to do so- he gets my vote notwithstanding the fact that he wears spike heels, fish nets, cocktail dresses and gooses sailors in Honolulu bars.

MaiDee on May 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM

This is actually a step forward. Sure he might say unacceptable, disqualifying things if he gets nominated but I guarantee it will be funnier than “legitimate rape”. This is progress, people!

alchemist19 on May 15, 2014 at 1:37 PM

the guy’s a seabee. that tells me all I need to know about the man.
they work hard, don’t stand for ceremony, aren’t afraid to get dirty, and they FIGHT.
we need a lot more of that in higher places.

warhorse_03826 on May 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM

I could go for a former Seabee – if he didn’t dress like a gay S&M headmaster…..

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:37 PM

OT- AP just got a shoutout by Rush.

wolly4321 on May 15, 2014 at 1:37 PM

Honestly, for a quick minute I thought it was a picture of George RR Martin!

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:39 PM

Haven’t Wrestled since JHS Varsity…and those movies were for private consumption only!

Otherwise, while I appreciate your vote..“If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve.”*

*-h/t to Gen. W.T Sherman (ret.) :o)

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:31 PM

Drat~!

hawkeye54 on May 15, 2014 at 1:42 PM

They should have asked him to expand on the love gays had for each other in his cab. This is hilarious but libtards will eat this up as truly representative of Republican debates.

Southernblogger on May 15, 2014 at 1:43 PM

So, you’re not Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho?

Nope, but my full name IS as long as all that. :o)

Too bad, I would have voted for you.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM

Still can. I may change my mind if things slide further in the crapper…besides, I think I can be a rather benevolent ruler after all.

But if you looking for one of those cake eating, Community Organizer types;, Brother, you are looking at the wrong guy.

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:44 PM

Well if nothing else, someone to debate Ben Carson.

verbaluce on May 15, 2014 at 1:45 PM

Still can. I may change my mind if things slide further in the crapper…besides, I think I can be a rather benevolent ruler after all.

But if you looking for one of those cake eating, Community Organizer types;, Brother, you are looking at the wrong guy.

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:44 PM

Well, have you at least ever fired a machine gun?
That would help.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:48 PM

My criteria for a president has narrowed to one topic–that he opposes Amnesty. If he meets that criterion -and is the only candidate to do so- he gets my vote notwithstanding the fact that he wears spike heels, fish nets, cocktail dresses and gooses sailors in Honolulu bars.

MaiDee on May 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM

If he opposes amnesty and wants to deport all immigrants BUT wants to repeal the 1st 2nd and 3rd amendment would he still have your vote?

coolrepublica on May 15, 2014 at 1:48 PM

Honestly, for a quick minute I thought it was a picture of George RR Martin!

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:39 PM

Now that you mention it…..
And we know Martin has some gay and S&M streaks running through his head….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:50 PM

Picking up strangers at night and hauling them God knows where.

This is like the Groove Tube or some other spoof. As a southerner I feel it is only fair that we demand that Midwesterners start taking the hit as the goober types.

Southernblogger on May 15, 2014 at 1:53 PM

Better than ANY skit on Saturday Night Live in the past ten years!

Vigilante on May 15, 2014 at 1:56 PM

The only 2 Heavy weapons I’ve fired in fun of course was when I was out West…one was the .30 Browning MG full auto (water and air cooled) models. The other was a WWII era antitank rifle which…was…AWESOME!

Was at has one of those “Gee-Whiz” all you can shoot gun ranges that are VERY friendly and are Class III (obviously). IIRC, they did have a seriously large collection of actual and replica pieces available for rent that you can drop anywhere from $200 to $1500 or more to crank off rounds.

See? Now you made me melancholy to go do it again…:snif:

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:56 PM

Now that you mention it…..
And we know Martin has some gay and S&M streaks running through his head….

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 1:50 PM

The best writers usually have some seriously dark thoughts going on inside them…which would explain me a lot…lol

But seriously, he can’t be any worse the Steven King, can he? I mean, have you read the unabridged version of The Stand? Or any of Anne Rice Vampire novels..and that’s just off the top of my head and out my azz remembering.

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 2:01 PM

coolrepublica

THAT would be a close call. Either way-there is no country left–at least the democracy our forefathers developed. Usually, however, on Amnesty and Constitution repeal, it is not consistent to be pro on one issues and con on the other.

MaiDee on May 15, 2014 at 2:02 PM

The only 2 Heavy weapons I’ve fired in fun of course was when I was out West…one was the .30 Browning MG full auto (water and air cooled) models. The other was a WWII era antitank rifle which…was…AWESOME!

Was at has one of those “Gee-Whiz” all you can shoot gun ranges that are VERY friendly and are Class III (obviously). IIRC, they did have a seriously large collection of actual and replica pieces available for rent that you can drop anywhere from $200 to $1500 or more to crank off rounds.

See? Now you made me melancholy to go do it again…:snif:

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 1:56 PM

OK – you’re in!!!

I recommend a visit to Colorado Springs around Sept 11. We have a place out here called Dragon Man’s – class 3 dealer, shooting ranges, paintball ranges, WW2 museum, and more.
Every year he does a Sept 11 Memorial Machine Gun shoot at his range with a bunch of full auto clubs and gun owners making their toys available for rent. Get in for about $8, then all rentals are pay as you go according to ammo cost. Typical M-16 or AK-47 or other similar weapon is about $15 or $20 for a full magazine. Barrett .50 cal sniper rifle – $5 a shot. Twin .30 cal machine guns – $80 for 2 50 round belts (1 in each gun).
I’ve been to a few of those with my boys and had a ball – and dropped a bit too much money…

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 2:08 PM

But seriously, he can’t be any worse the Steven King, can he? I mean, have you read the unabridged version of The Stand? Or any of Anne Rice Vampire novels..and that’s just off the top of my head and out my azz remembering.

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 2:01 PM

I’m not much for reading that kind of stuff – I’m more of a Douglas Adams, Scott Adams, Jim Larson type.
But my wife is a huge fan of King, Rice, and several others of that type – and she’s currently reading Martin’s whole series – and she’s the one that got us into watching Game of Thrones.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Meh. I’d vote for him. With the little old dude running a close second. At least either of them would be better than those other two obvious phonies. And Harley is definitely right about political correctness. This, in my view, is a much more serious problem in our society today than people realize.

If anyone hasn’t checked it out yet, Harley’s list of “offensive” “zingers” is here: (good for a few chuckles)

http://www.governorharley.com/harleyism.htm

Some of my favorites:

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 40?
“Your Honor”

Register Communists, not firearms. That means domestic enemies of the United States Constitution such as Bloomberg, Schumer and Pelosi

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Poland?
They couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

How can you tell when an Arab reaches the age of maturity?
He takes the diaper off his ass and plops it right on his head.

Why does Mexico have such a lousy Olympic Team?
Anybody that can run swim or jump is already north of the border

I think my favorite is this one:

God, how I wish we had picked our own cotton

He’s got like a few dozen more.

WhatSlushfund on May 15, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Now you have to insult the voters of my state by reminding us of … well … ourselves. Dagnabbit. Of course, I’m not sure that even Jesse Ventura ran this far off the rails:

Sorry Ed.

Ventura is worse.

By far.

Bat poop crazy.

V7_Sport on May 15, 2014 at 2:14 PM

I saw bunch of older guys on Harley’s. They look slightly rough, had a little bit of street cred. However, that cred completely disappeared when they pulled into Starbucks.
Oil Can on May 15, 2014 at 12:55 PM

A new Fat Boy starts at about 18 grand registered. Of course they went to Starbucks.

V7_Sport on May 15, 2014 at 2:24 PM

I’ve been to a few of those with my boys and had a ball – and dropped a bit too much money…

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 2:08 PM

LOL…take it from me, you can never really spend *too* much money on ammo…not to mention the memories you & your sons will have…worth more than gold, that.

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 2:13 PM

I agree; I’m a huge fan of Adams, primarilly HGTTG “Trilogy” lol..and do a lot of the military Sci Fi and other fiction as well…remind me to show you a picture of my Warehouse 13 sized Library sometime!

I’m j/k…i had to downsize so its not as much as it used to be. Heh.

King I’ve given props to; for the most part (early works) he is a frickin genus: he hits your fears right where he wants and its was damned treat to read…his later work, not so much, but I’m being picky. If you got the time and patience, read The Stand complete; yeah it does drag in a few chapters (his detailing sometimes is sluggish) but overall the book has major creep factor. I can see why it got trimmed back in the late 70′s

Rice. I only read a few of her books because a rather nubile young lady suggested I did, and she had a great set of “eyes” that demanded I do so…so I did. Not my usual fare, never thought much of the whole Vampire Romanticism bit myself, but hey…shrug.

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 3:12 PM

BlaxPac on May 15, 2014 at 3:12 PM

I’ve spent a decent amount of money to stock up with ammo, and I don’t worry about that. But those days I took my boys to the machine gun shoots were on the order of spending $500 in a few hours expending ammo. But ya, we have great memories and lots of photos with lots of different types of guns. The Barrett .50 cal sniper rifle was the one my boys kept going back to, and for awhile after that, my youngest seriously wanted to join the Army to be a sniper.

My wife is/was a librarian, and very much into books – she couldn’t stand to see the library throw old or unpopular books in the trash, so she’d rescue them. I believe we have everything ever written by Stephen King, Anne Rice, James Michener, and several other major authors, and I have many dozens of art, technology, military weaponry, and WW2 books. A few years ago we had some custom bookcases built in 3 different locations in the house. The estimate by linear measurement of all shelves, using an average of 1 inch per book, is that we could easily fit at least 5000 books (if I remember correctly) – and the shelves are full and overflowing…

dentarthurdent on May 15, 2014 at 3:51 PM

No one is better than this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hvaeHllwtw

Dr. Zaius MD on May 15, 2014 at 5:27 PM

Picking up strangers at night and hauling them God knows where.

Sounds like a deportation plan?

Dr. Zaius MD on May 15, 2014 at 5:29 PM

looks to me …. if I was being mugged in a dark alley…. 2 people on that stage would probably come to my aid and be able to offer assistance. Pretty sure everyone else would run away and if they didn’t, more than likely they would just get in my way.

roflmmfao

donabernathy on May 15, 2014 at 9:35 PM

That was great. It was funnier than most stand up comedians. They should do one of those in every state. :)

Theophile on May 16, 2014 at 2:40 AM

Walt Bayes is just as funny. Checkout his closing statement mostly about “atomic energy”, for example.

The challenger on the far right didn’t seem to be too happy at the end of the debate. The governor had a beaming smile.

willamettevalley on May 16, 2014 at 4:07 AM