Video: “Dave in Charge”

posted at 4:41 pm on April 25, 2014 by Allahpundit

To cleanse the palate after a long, tough, bloggy week. Before you click, ask yourself this question: How bad do you need to be at something to be pronounced the worst ever at it by media in other countries? How many amateur efforts are so dismal that they actually qualify as international news?

Now you’re ready to watch.

I think he sounds like Nigel Tufnel, but maybe that’s because this is exactly the kind of rap that Nigel Tufnel would write. Exit quotation:


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Tupac wept.

EvilMonk on April 25, 2014 at 4:44 PM

I’m conflicted…do I hate it, or like it? I’m not sure…

JetBoy on April 25, 2014 at 4:46 PM

not even a contender next to this guy….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDspPjlySyg#t=58

Renee on April 25, 2014 at 4:47 PM

He’s like the Plan 9 from Outer Space of rap or something.

Akzed on April 25, 2014 at 4:49 PM

I think it’s a brilliant parody. At least, I hope it’ a parody.

joekenha on April 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM

nononononono…………nope………no!

BL@KBIRD on April 25, 2014 at 4:51 PM

I’m normally on board wit these types of posts, but I’m at a loss here.

In the wide wide world of bad YouTube videos, why is this being singled out?

Nessuno on April 25, 2014 at 4:53 PM

Finally we get to see what ALLAHPUNDIT looks like. Keep it up there champ.

WhatSlushfund on April 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM

I I I I I just don’t know….

Aplombed on April 25, 2014 at 4:56 PM

‘conscious rap’ artist David Palmer is taking the internet by storm.

Yeah…… that’s not always a positive. Though Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton managed to turn it into million dollar empires. So perhaps there is hope for a short doughy tree hugger with a dream.

Happy Nomad on April 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM

30 seconds and, “Nope.”

Of course, the obligatory. “Dave’s not here.”

davidk on April 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM

I like it. Sure it’s not Snoopy Dog Diddy or whosit, but it’s not worth the condemnation.

Kensington on April 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM

Rap sucks in a mighty way as it is – so do I wanna listen to some brat trying to act ghetto (out of the bazillion others on Youtube)? Nope.

On the other hand if it were a video of the punk’s parents smacking him around and making him get a summer job, now that would be entertainment.

whatcat on April 25, 2014 at 5:02 PM

Eh, still not as bad as that god awful Pompeii song. Worst thing to come out of Britain since Piers Morgan.

Cyhort on April 25, 2014 at 5:02 PM

Of course, the obligatory. “Dave’s not here.”

davidk on April 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM

Hey all you Millenials, that’s a cultural reference. Google it.

Happy Nomad on April 25, 2014 at 5:03 PM

To cleanse the palate

…heh?

KOOLAID2 on April 25, 2014 at 5:03 PM

AP gets ready for Friday night out: http://tinyurl.com/mv4ogp8

davidk on April 25, 2014 at 5:04 PM

Rebecca Black call your office!

rogaineguy on April 25, 2014 at 5:05 PM

I’d rather watch this guy than listen to Iced Tea singing about killing cops or Ice Cubes pretending he’s not a one-percenter.

Kensington on April 25, 2014 at 5:05 PM

What is the black culture? it seems that white people have this idea that they know what black culture is, but whatever they think it is is never good. So I should be asking people here, what is that black culture that everybody seems to think is so bad? I sure as hell don’t know.

coolrepublica on April 25, 2014 at 1:44 PM

Asked and answered.

HumpBot Salvation on April 25, 2014 at 5:05 PM

Tuck your shirt in, mister. Carry on.

SailorMark on April 25, 2014 at 5:05 PM

The wind blows…. So does this vid…

Kuffar on April 25, 2014 at 5:06 PM

I don’t get it. What is he supposed to be?

Pork-Chop on April 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM

Thank God Dire’s at work or something.

Applehead on April 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM

I couldn’t make it through. 40 seconds was enough for me.

gwelf on April 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM

To cleanse the palate

…heh?

KOOLAID2 on April 25, 2014 at 5:03 PM

I guess retching counts.

gwelf on April 25, 2014 at 5:11 PM

…why wasn’t he wearing pajamas?

KOOLAID2 on April 25, 2014 at 5:12 PM

Nigel can spit hot fire.

Cladinator on April 25, 2014 at 5:13 PM

For craps sake Allah. Has it really been that slow a news week? That was just embarrassing. I only could stand it through the first two lines.

Bmore on April 25, 2014 at 5:14 PM

I hesitate to make fun of something like this, because often it turns out that the person in question has Asperger’s or something.

Kristamatic on April 25, 2014 at 5:20 PM

Rebecca Black call your office!

rogaineguy on April 25, 2014 at 5:05 PM

Oh! Rebecca Black has nothing to worry about.

Partyin’ Partyin’ Partyin’ WHOOP!!

Has nothing on a short doughy Brit with

The sun glows
The wind blows
The stream flows

Seriously does Rebecca Black even know that a tectonic plate does not refer to tableware?

Happy Nomad on April 25, 2014 at 5:22 PM

I hesitate to make fun of something like this, because often it turns out that the person in question has Asperger’s or something.

Kristamatic on April 25, 2014 at 5:20 PM

Did you click on the link? It’s worse than Asperger’s. He has politicians in his family tree.

Happy Nomad on April 25, 2014 at 5:24 PM

i don’t know who to hate more… al gore for inventing the internet or AP for posting this video.

dbilly76 on April 25, 2014 at 5:25 PM

No worse than any other rapper.

Bigbullets on April 25, 2014 at 5:28 PM

I know I’m going to sound like my dad but…doesn’t sound much different than what is on the radio now. Are there levels of bad music?

dirtseller on April 25, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Probably the best song I have ever heard…so deep, finally someone that can sing and move you.

There must be a lot of pollen in the air, hard for me to see the computer monitor…it touched my soul.

right2bright on April 25, 2014 at 5:32 PM

To cleanse the palate after a long, tough, bloggy week

Allah, quit being so damn gratuitous. What I need is an ObysmalCare thread. I’m in an angry and crappy mood and I want to get into a fight with everdiso. But it’s probably too late in the day. Dammit.

NOMOBO on April 25, 2014 at 5:34 PM

Give me my money back.

rightside on April 25, 2014 at 5:35 PM

daves gonna get on that squatter guy and give him a good talking to.

t8stlikchkn on April 25, 2014 at 5:38 PM

Why does AllahPundit hate us so?

My collie says:

Maybe it has something to do with the Hot Air habitat.

CyberCipher on April 25, 2014 at 5:44 PM

Great. It took years to wipe my sister playing Alvin and the Chipmunks album out of my head, now this.

31giddyup on April 25, 2014 at 5:51 PM

I got you AP.

Your official introduction to Summertime is Great (Official Music Video)

BooYah!

Murphy9 on April 25, 2014 at 5:52 PM

39 seconds was all I could take, I gotta find some ZZTop or Van Halen to wash out my auditory system.

Mini-14 on April 25, 2014 at 5:56 PM

Sorry but this guy is a genius compared to the crap being played on MTV & VH1.

At least you can understand the words…

The Ugly American on April 25, 2014 at 5:57 PM

Sorry but this guy is a genius compared to the crap being played on MTV & VH1.

At least you can understand the words…

The Ugly American on April 25, 2014 at 5:57 PM

That’s what worried me.

davidk on April 25, 2014 at 6:12 PM

I got you AP.

Your official introduction to Summertime is Great (Official Music Video)

BooYah!

Murphy9 on April 25, 2014 at 5:52 PM

Pffft: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6uh7zXw-WI

davidk on April 25, 2014 at 6:12 PM

Please, PLEASE parody this, Weird Al Yankovic!

mugged on April 25, 2014 at 6:14 PM

I don’t get it. What is he supposed to be?

Pork-Chop on April 25, 2014 at 5:09 PM

He’s obviously trawling for vegan groupies; he wants to be the next Elvis of Dorkland.

Fenris on April 25, 2014 at 6:15 PM

I can only assume it gets better at some point.

That is, I’m sure not going to watch enough to find out….

There Goes the Neighborhood on April 25, 2014 at 6:36 PM

The sun glows, the stream flows, the mind goes and that guy blows.

Oldnuke on April 25, 2014 at 6:39 PM

Lmao, this guy is like a British version of Jon Lajoie, but he takes himself seriously.

For those who haven’t seen Jon Lajoie (NSFW): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

Lawdawg86 on April 25, 2014 at 6:40 PM

I’m not a rap fan. Blech! BUT…..

Hey, do we have a Conservative rapper?

That would be a palate cleanser! Especially about the NRA, gun ownership, individual responsibility, protecting your self and your family, freedom to do so….

lineholder on April 25, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Hey, do we have a Conservative rapper?

That would be a palate cleanser! Especially about the NRA, gun ownership, individual responsibility, protecting your self and your family, freedom to do so….

lineholder on April 25, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Heh, like this?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRth8ygj7N4

Lawdawg86 on April 25, 2014 at 6:59 PM

So bad. I want my 15 seconds back.

Desert Gardens on April 25, 2014 at 7:11 PM

Lawdawg86 on April 25, 2014 at 6:59 PM

Sorry, but NO!

I thought maybe YoungCons would have something of this sort. Still looking.

lineholder on April 25, 2014 at 7:18 PM

Part of me thinks this is why we still need bullying in elementary school.

palarson on April 25, 2014 at 7:33 PM

Tom Steyer production?

BKeyser on April 25, 2014 at 7:39 PM

Serious puzzlement here. This wouldn’t even make the top 20 lamest videos of aspiring musicians on YouTube. Maybe the top 100.

Allah seems to be implying that Rebecca Black didn’t make international news.

Splashman on April 25, 2014 at 8:58 PM

That is painful. And the dude is so earnest.

Warner Todd Huston on April 25, 2014 at 9:10 PM

What the unholy hell did I just waste my life viewing?

Is this a joke?

Gal_Spunes on April 25, 2014 at 9:42 PM

The sad thing is…

… he wasn’t born this way, he was made his way.

Seven Percent Solution on April 25, 2014 at 9:54 PM

He may not be much of a rapper, but this guy is hot.

cynccook on April 25, 2014 at 10:45 PM

I was praying for jihadis or ninjas to jump out of the tree line and beat the tar out of him. Instead I wasted 4 minutes of my life.

FireBlogger on April 26, 2014 at 12:17 AM

I made it to 00:37.

Anyone else?

hawkdriver on April 26, 2014 at 9:05 AM

I would like to travel back in time to find the individual that invented/first experimented with rap “music,” so that I may kill him. Anyone have a Flux Capacitor handy?

Lamont Cranston on April 26, 2014 at 2:08 PM

“The sun glows, the wind blows, the stream flows, life is a canvas, a habitat”

wow, deep stuff man….haha

Dollayo on April 27, 2014 at 12:35 AM

Life is a canvas. For whom? What does that even mean when the canvas paints itself?

You don’t get to have meaning and poetry and structure, you jack-ss. You’ve already divorced meaning from existence when you asserted that it was “governed” by randomness and meaninglessness.

Stop whining.

The religious people you wish would go away? They’re going away. Why are you whining about them? If natural selection were the ultimate decider, and the only profitable worldview were that of the materialist/naturalist, then you’ve already won. You’ve cracked the code, genius! Just wait till the inbred religious sub-species have died out, and you’ll reign supreme!

Oh, wait, they’re using your resources for survival. Better nip that in the bud. Time for some “tough love”. Time to get rid of the yokels; make way for the enlightened.

Good luck. :-)

spmat on April 27, 2014 at 6:18 PM