30,000 Alaskans sign petition to ditch US, rejoin Russia

posted at 3:01 pm on March 29, 2014 by Jazz Shaw

Unrest in the nation must be running high if people are looking for ways to pull up stakes and leave the union entirely. Some Texans petitioned the White House to break away in 2012, though not much came of the effort. Possibly my favorite breakaway story was that of the Conch Republic, which seceded from the US in 1982, immediately suing the government for $1B in war damages.

Despite the lack of success on the part of these previous efforts, they all had one thing in common. They weren’t looking to join up with any other nations, but rather to strike out on their own as a new, independent state. But not so the latest effort, reported by our colleagues at Town Hall, where a petition has been submitted to the White House to allow Alaska to secede from the United States and join up with Russia.

Some Alaskans apparently are not opposed to Russian President Vladimir Putin’s recent annexation of Crimea—in fact, they are hoping to be grabbed up next.

More than 30,000 Alaskans have signed the petition “Alaska back to Russia,” pleading that the White House allow them to secede and join their native land. If the request garners 100,000 signatures by April 20, the White House will make an official response.

I’m not entirely sure how to gauge the heat index for this idea among Alaskans. 30,000 signatures in New York City wouldn’t cover two city blocks, but in Alaska (population less than 3/4 million for the entire state) it starts to sound like an at least marginally beefy number. But are those folks all actually from Alaska? I only ask because I’m not sure how they screen the IP addresses for these things. In any event, perhaps they’d have drawn a bit more support if the originator had employed something that sounded a bit more like… English?

Groups Siberian russians crossed the Isthmus (now the Bering Strait) 16-10 thousand years ago.

Russian began to settle on the Arctic coast, Aleuts inhabited the Aleutian Archipelago.

First visited Alaska August 21, 1732, members of the team boat “St. Gabriel »under the surveyor Gvozdev and assistant navigator I. Fedorov during the expedition Shestakov and DI Pavlutski 1729-1735 years

Vote for secession of Alaska from the United States and joining Russia

On a second read, perhaps it was written by somebody who is a native Russian speaker with English as a second language. Either way, it’s a bit of a puzzler.

I can’t imagine why the rank and file Alaskan would have any interest in changing their status. Dropping out to join another country really only suggests two options. One, as the author offers, leaves you stuck with Vladimir Putin. The other? Canada… and the less said about that the better. The mainland US certainly has no incentive to lose Alaska either. It’s a strategically important location for a variety of reasons, not to mention being a key element in our energy infrastructure. Alaska is a treasure trove of natural wonders and a great tourist destination. On the other side of the balance sheet there is virtually nothing to argue in favor of losing them.

If this petition is coming from nothing more than a general dissatisfaction with either Barack Obama in particular or Washington in general, it’s a drastic overreaction. Obama will be gone soon enough, and if you don’t like the way things are going in DC, elect better people. But stick with the USA, Alaskans. While imperfect, it’s still the best (and pretty much only) game in town.

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Comment pages: 1 2

Murphy9 on March 29, 2014 at 11:54 PM

Additionally, the U.S. Supreme Court case Texas v White (1869) established the principle that there is an existing prohibition against any state seceding from the Union without the consent of the other States.

avagreen on March 29, 2014 at 7:39 PM

Meaningless and utterly irrelevant legalistic mumbo-jumbo. Realistically, there is little to none the US can do to prevent secession. What will the feds do, bomb Texas?

After the US bombed Belgrade to dust to allow Kosovo to secede, it has zero to negative moral justification to forcefully prevent of any territorial group to secede.

Masih ad-Dajjal on March 30, 2014 at 4:00 AM

If the Democrat’s transformation of America continues for another 30 months or longer the USA vs Russia choice will boil down to whether you prefer fascism lite or communism lite.

Both systems will continue to present a democratic facade but real power will belong to to governments and their cronies. Which system will offer more real freedom and opportunity for individuals to use their initiative is an open question.

Nomas on March 30, 2014 at 8:47 AM

I look at dear leader being gone soon enough and then see Jimmy Carter and BJ Clinton still lurking on the national and international stage handing out advice. Old dem prezzies never really go away. They keep their fingers in our pie and don’t forget that we have their spouses up next. This whole AK thing sounds like a Stewart spoof.

Kissmygrits on March 30, 2014 at 8:50 AM

Murphy9 on March 29, 2014 at 11:54 PM


Bmore on March 30, 2014 at 9:16 AM

Maybe we should give the entire globe back to all native peoples and civilized nations should cease to exist? Surely at some point all countries were preceded by other occupants.

But that’s a strawman to deflect form the real purpose.

I certainly understand frustration with this destructive government. But I don’t accept treason as a response. That’s effectively what anyone signing this petition has committed. They’ve forgone and abandoned the honor of being United States citizens and given their loyalties to a foreign aggressor nation.

Here’s my suggestion. It is a very short distance to Russia from Alaska. Make the journey, give up your citizenship and stay there. That or face the penalties for your treasonous act.

Marcus Traianus on March 30, 2014 at 9:25 AM

I’m calling bull@#$%.

I could see Berkely wanting this. But for 30,000 AMERICANS from anywhere else in the union actually wanting to be ruled by a neo-Stalinist KGB colonel?

There’s just no way.

Alberta_Patriot on March 30, 2014 at 9:43 AM

President Obama considers himself above all of U.S. and has declared he can and will do as he pleases, via executive order/decree.

Therefore, I am sure he will sell the Aleutians down the glacier, resulting in all social funding currently provided being considered foreign aid. Also, we would be importing what was once our natural resources, vice damaging them.

MSGTAS on March 30, 2014 at 11:13 AM

More Russia.
More Russians.
More Putin.

What are you thinking, 30K Alaskans?

TimBuk3 on March 30, 2014 at 11:49 AM

Putin, you’re drunk, go home.

Bartrams Garden on March 30, 2014 at 12:00 PM

I’m no expert on whitehouse petitions, but I don’t think it checks that you are Alaskan, does it?

It’s not surprising that 30,000 internet users want to waste time on this. If only healthcare.gov could generate this level of interest!

virgo on March 30, 2014 at 1:08 PM

But are those folks all actually from Alaska? I only ask because I’m not sure how they screen the IP addresses for these things.

Short answer: it doesn’t. There is no certain way to know.

Obama will be gone soon enough

So you suppose. Some people are not so sure.

But, on a more important note, can we please drop this stupid obsession with these White House “petitions”? They mean nothing. There is no statutory requirement to do anything. They are nothing but theater – a way to let the masses appear to have their say, while the government appears to care. Oh yes, their regulations require them to “answer” the petition if it hits a certain number of ‘signatures’. BFD. I could “answer” my son whenever he wanted to do something that I didn’t want to allow: “Because I said so.” The WH answers can be (and are) just as meaningless.

GWB on March 30, 2014 at 1:35 PM

I speak Polish, which is linguistically very similar to Russian, and am familiar with Russian grammar. I frequently interact with Polish and sometimes Russian immigrants and know what it looks like when they struggle to express ideas in English. This is not it. It doesn’t flow and seems randomly chopped up and mechanical. It looks like it was written in Russian, by a Russian, and put through an online translator. I suspect the author has no ties at all to Alaska.

Also this petition is more likely to be a joke making fun of Putin’s justifications for taking Crimea. Putin’s excuse was Russian speakers living there and historical links from a hundred years ago. This petition mentions weak historical links between Russia and Alaska such as Siberian migrations 16 thousand years ago and an expedition in the 1700s as a reason for Russia to annex Alaska. It’s kind of hilarious really.

milk on March 30, 2014 at 2:48 PM

Hell, that’s the entire population up there, isn’t it?

ultracon on March 30, 2014 at 10:20 PM

Good plan! There’s not much left here…

stacman on March 31, 2014 at 1:37 AM

Vlad says: ” I can see Juneau from my house!”

billintex on March 31, 2014 at 10:06 AM

Comment pages: 1 2