Video: “Lights Out”

posted at 6:01 pm on March 25, 2014 by Allahpundit

Via Ace, a nifty video aperitif before dinner. Charlie Chaplin once said all he needed to make comedy was a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. All you need to make horror is a girl, some flickering lights, a creaky board or two — and, I guess, a decent make-up guy. Bake for two and a half minutes and you’re done. There’s nothing here that you haven’t seen before in “The Blair Witch Project” or “Paranormal Activity,” but the efficiency is admirable — to some people, I assume. Personally, as a devoted “Walking Dead” fan, I prefer 40-45 minutes of witless dialogue with my scares.

There’s nothing gory here but it’s still ample nightmare fuel, so if there’s a little one nearby while you’re reading this, run him/her along before watching.

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I clicked on this thinking, “eh, how spooky can it be in 2 minutes?”

BIG mistake.

Sacramento on March 25, 2014 at 6:04 PM

I prefer 40-45 minutes of witless dialogue

ROTFLMAO….

oscarwilde on March 25, 2014 at 6:08 PM

Didn’t click… not scared at all! :)

Marcola on March 25, 2014 at 6:08 PM

I was distracted by so many stupid decisions. Why would you stand there and flick the switch 10 times after you see someone on the hallway? Why do you think hiding over the covers will keep you safe? (Are you 4 years old?) Why do you assume that a flickering lamp is a loose power cord (and be right!)?

That’s an amazing amount of absurdity in 2 minutes.

Verdict: Not scary.

Nessuno on March 25, 2014 at 6:08 PM

Large Marge quality chills. *shudder*

Curse you PeeWee Herman!

rihar on March 25, 2014 at 6:09 PM

When I hear a strange noise I do the old “make a lot more of noise myself” to counter it.

I’m still here so it works.

SteveMG on March 25, 2014 at 6:09 PM

Nice little vid. Good use of technique over violence.

guido911 on March 25, 2014 at 6:09 PM

Lady, get a big dog.

Deafdog on March 25, 2014 at 6:12 PM

Good ending stinger.

Mason on March 25, 2014 at 6:13 PM

Scary??? I guess either I’m one sick puppy, or… It really was as damned funny as I thought it was. (Duct tape the light switch on…. BWAHAHAHAH)

oscarwilde on March 25, 2014 at 6:13 PM

They had me till the end…then I busted out laughing…

workingclass artist on March 25, 2014 at 6:13 PM

That’s an amazing amount of absurdity in 2 minutes.
Verdict: Not scary.
Nessuno on March 25, 2014 at 6:08 PM

Yup, the buildup didn’t make much sense. Now if ya want to see a good old fashioned non-slasher scary movie, watch 1944′s “THE UNINVITED”.

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:16 PM

And why she doesn’t wear pants: The real marketing ploy.

nobar on March 25, 2014 at 6:16 PM

She doesn’t have a gun?

SailorMark on March 25, 2014 at 6:17 PM

That’s a pretty good little film. Better than paying $8 at a theater and having an additional hour added to it for minimal effect.

Flange on March 25, 2014 at 6:17 PM

Why do you assume that a flickering lamp is a loose power cord (and be right!)?

Nessuno on March 25, 2014 at 6:08 PM

Did you see the extention cord it was plugged into? I’d say it was plausible. But I think the name of it should have been “So You Think Crystal Meth is Funny?”

Flange on March 25, 2014 at 6:22 PM

nope nope nope

Bee on March 25, 2014 at 6:27 PM

I would have ran the hell out of that building as soon as I saw that thing in the hallway the first time.

bluegill on March 25, 2014 at 6:27 PM

She doesn’t have a gun?

SailorMark on March 25, 2014 at 6:17 PM

That power strip looks European, so I’m guessing: no gun.

Fenris on March 25, 2014 at 6:29 PM

Testimonial for effective personal home defense; in fact, it would make an amazing ad for CHL classes. I did have fun sending it around to my (former) friends and daring them to watch it late yesterday evening.

2nd Ammendment Mother on March 25, 2014 at 6:30 PM

And why she doesn’t wear pants:
nobar on March 25, 2014 at 6:16 PM

They couldn’t find any her size?

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:31 PM

They couldn’t find any her size?

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:31 PM

Rrrrrerrr! (or however you spell it)

SailorMark on March 25, 2014 at 6:34 PM

In all honesty, it would have been more scary if turned out to be a 22 pound himilayan cat making all that noise on badly laid laminate floors.

Happy Nomad on March 25, 2014 at 6:35 PM

How could she not scream? I would have screamed so loud all the neighbors would have heard.

bluegill on March 25, 2014 at 6:36 PM

This is why I support gun rights, pull your pistol out from under your pillow, disengage the safety, chamber a round, and then you have a dead critter when it shows its face ;)

OregonPolitician on March 25, 2014 at 6:36 PM

Now if ya want to see a good old fashioned non-slasher scary movie, watch 1944′s “THE UNINVITED”.

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:16 PM

We call it Thanksgiving in my family.

Happy Nomad on March 25, 2014 at 6:36 PM

I would have ran the hell out of that building as soon as I saw that thing in the hallway the first time.

bluegill on March 25, 2014 at 6:27 PM

Before, or after you made out with it?

oscarwilde on March 25, 2014 at 6:37 PM

The unknown, when will what I know will happen actually happen video. I actually like this, and so much more horror than some of the gore horror movies they put out. Not bad for a quick, independent movie.

The scary Japanese tire ad:
YouTube Vid

nextgen_repub on March 25, 2014 at 6:39 PM

Now if ya want to see a good old fashioned non-slasher scary movie, watch 1944′s “THE UNINVITED”.

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:16 PM

We call it Thanksgiving in my family.

Happy Nomad on March 25, 2014 at 6:36 PM

Yeah, but I bet Ray Milland and Gail Russell don’t show up!

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:39 PM

then you have a dead critter when it shows its face ;)

OregonPolitician on March 25, 2014 at 6:36 PM

Unless it’s already dead!

/boo

CurtZHP on March 25, 2014 at 6:39 PM

This film needs a priest, a crucifix, and lots and lots of holy water. Also, in the end, the priest needs to win. Otherwise, not interested.

gocatholic on March 25, 2014 at 6:40 PM

I prefer 40-45 minutes of witless dialogue

Then I recommend Good Morning America or the Today Show.

Nomennovum on March 25, 2014 at 6:43 PM

Now, if the clip had this epilogue it would have made it work.

whatcat on March 25, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Not very subtle. Also psychologically silly. The chick sees a clear outline of figure in the darkness and all she does is tape the light on? You lose the scariness with the dopiness.

rrpjr on March 25, 2014 at 6:50 PM

Whatever it is isn’t going in the olde brain case.

Murphy9 on March 25, 2014 at 6:51 PM

You lose the scariness with the dopiness.

rrpjr on March 25, 2014 at 6:50 PM

Clearly, you haven’t seen any teenage slasher flicks, lost in woods flicks, or took the wrong turn flicks.

Nomennovum on March 25, 2014 at 6:55 PM

Clearly, you haven’t seen any teenage slasher flicks, lost in woods flicks, or took the wrong turn flicks.

Nomennovum on March 25, 2014 at 6:55 PM

I saw them. They rarely scared me, not the dopey ones anyway. Wrong Turn was a little scary. So was Vacancy. But they were different. They didn’t entirely involve idiots acting out of proportion to the events. I’m actually easily scared — but it has to be artful and real.

rrpjr on March 25, 2014 at 7:05 PM

Cool covers.

Akzed on March 25, 2014 at 7:24 PM

I prefer 40-45 minutes of witless dialogue

Then I recommend Good Morning America or the Today Show.

Nomennovum on March 25, 2014 at 6:43 PM

Okay, that’s funny right there.

JusDreamin on March 25, 2014 at 7:25 PM

I’d rather watch 20 minutes of an all gore speech. I Can’t stand to be scared…

ted c on March 25, 2014 at 7:34 PM

She doesn’t have a gun?

SailorMark on March 25, 2014 at 6:17 PM

That power strip looks European, so I’m guessing: no gun.

Fenris on March 25, 2014 at 6:29 PM

She could have at least had a gun that kills skeet.

Cheese Wheel on March 25, 2014 at 7:49 PM

Nothing a Surefire X300 flashlight mounted to the underside of my P220 .45ACP couldn’t handle.

Hill60 on March 25, 2014 at 8:05 PM

that was pretty scary I have to say..and that ending, man

sadsushi on March 25, 2014 at 8:48 PM

Must be Europe. We have electrical standards here. You should never have to reach that high on a wall to turn a light on. And our switches are small enough to be ganged in one box.

Lanceman on March 25, 2014 at 9:32 PM

She doesn’t have a gun?

SailorMark on March 25, 2014 at 6:17 PM

My thought exactly.

Shambhala on March 25, 2014 at 11:33 PM

Whatever it is isn’t going in the olde brain case.

Murphy9 on March 25, 2014 at 6:51 PM

Smart decision. Saw it when it went up at Ace’s and now can’t get it out of mine.

Lucky not to have had nightmares. Not watchin’ that again.

Eviva on March 26, 2014 at 12:34 AM

I don’t understand what hiding under the covers does. Must be an Obama foreign policy guru.

NotCoach on March 26, 2014 at 9:14 AM

Must be Europe. We have electrical standards here. You should never have to reach that high on a wall to turn a light on. And our switches are small enough to be ganged in one box.

Lanceman on March 25, 2014 at 9:32 PM

First thought when the “scary” thing moved down the hall was “Turn the damn light off again and strangle the ghost b!tch!” Euro-weenies, I swear.

NotCoach on March 26, 2014 at 9:16 AM

Not scary at all. Maybe I’ve just become jaded by the last 6 years.

GWB on March 26, 2014 at 11:20 AM

LOL. This was NOT scary ay all. This picture of the “girl” at the end literally made me LOL!

ManWithNoName on March 26, 2014 at 11:50 AM