NFL Pro Bowl open thread

posted at 3:31 pm on January 26, 2014 by Ed Morrissey

Ed: Last week I won the championship round predictions by picking the Broncos and the Seahawks, while Jazz picked the 49ers in the last game. For that, what do I get? I get to write the Pro Bowl open thread post (7:30 pm ET, NBC). I’m telling you, I just can’t win. Maybe I should have picked the Patriots …

 

Jazz: You win some, you lose some. Of course, a review of last week’s championship games would be incomplete without noting that while Ed picked the Seahawks, he was unaware that he was actually picking the dynamic duo of the Seahawks and the refs. But that’s just sour grapes on my part and to the victor go the spoils. For what it’s worth, I only picked the 49ers to cheer up IrishSpy

 

Ed: So this year, instead of the lame selections of the best players not on the two best teams in the league by the fans, we got the lame selections of the best players not on the two best teams in the league by … Jerry Rice and Deion Sanders. It’s so much fun that ESPN still didn’t have the roster listings last night for either team. And if you didn’t care much for the Richard Sherman post-game interview last week, you probably hated the “draft” that produced the teams — that took TWO DAYS. “The faux trash talk made for an unfunny and never-ending broadcast,” wrote Todd Archer of ESPNDallas. I don’t doubt it.

 

Jazz: I have to agree with Ed on this part. The decision to move the Pro Bowl to the week before the Super Bowl (where none of the real qualifiers for entry will dare risk an injury, assuming they show up at all) along with the remix of the draft, has turned this into a game that we really, really, really don’t give a hoot about. This is opposed to the traditional Pro Bowl format when we simply didn’t care. This game is essentially little more than an awards ceremony for the top performers and a chance for them (and the media) to have a free trip to Hawaii. I’ll have to be pretty bored if I even wind up watching it.

 

Ed: So here’s my prediction for the game, which will be even more goofy than usual thanks to the weird playground-friend-distribution system. There will be no defense at all, as the rules will make it all but impossible to stop the passing game, and everyone will avoid getting hurt as usual by playing something between high-school tackle and semi-pro touch football. I’m setting the over-under at 125 points, and I’ll pick Team Rice to win, just because … Jerry Rice.

 

Jazz: That’s a pretty bold prediction, and of course it will turn out to be wrong. My scientific analysis of the two teams and the conditions they are meeting under have led me to predict that the Deion Sanders team will prevail, and the total score will be 72. How did I determine that Team Sanders will carry the day? Easy Peasy… Ed didn’t pick them.

Back to you.

 

Ed: Well, that method has proven reliable lately, so … it’s a fair cop. Maybe next year, the NFL can rename this the Festivus Bowl and dispense with the “game” altogether. They can offer us Feats of Strength, followed by the Airing of Grievances, although without Sherman the latter might not be as much fun.  Don’t expect anything near that level of entertainment out of today’s Hawaiian luau. Instead, this week’s Bad Lip-Reading of the NFL will provide more entertainment in less than four minutes than will the Pro Bowl. And I’m totally taking the Super Bowl thread next week, Jazz.

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I would rather we were talking about the Devils-Rangers game at Yankee Stadium than a meaningless flag football contest in Hawaii

nutz4hockey on January 26, 2014 at 3:42 PM

Grace Potter to sing the National Anthem.

tim c on January 26, 2014 at 3:42 PM

An open thread is a good idea. I’ll need something to do during the Pro Bowl.

forest on January 26, 2014 at 3:43 PM

If no one else posts in an open thread, is it an open thread?

blammm on January 26, 2014 at 3:45 PM

I can’t imagine the NFL actually makes money on this turd.

NotCoach on January 26, 2014 at 3:46 PM

The alternative is the Grammys so. . .maybe I’ll spend the night banging my head against the wall.

rbj on January 26, 2014 at 3:47 PM

Nailed the high score on the pirate pinball machine down at Chuck E Cheese. Take that Crabtree!

forest on January 26, 2014 at 3:48 PM

I would rather we were talking about the Devils-Rangers game at Yankee Stadium than a meaningless flag football contest in Hawaii

nutz4hockey on January 26, 2014 at 3:42 PM

lol, did you hear about the game the LA Kings and LA Ducks played in Dodgers Stadium? 61 degrees, with a slight breeze.

Had to feel sorry earlier this afternoon when they had the first period intermission show at Yankee Stadium. Poor Southside Johnny looked like he wasn’t too happy with all of the Gore-bal Warming.

Del Dolemonte on January 26, 2014 at 3:52 PM

AMC is showing Godfather II over and over. It’s more exciting and will have more action than the Pro Bowl.

bw222 on January 26, 2014 at 3:54 PM

The alternative is the Grammys so. . .maybe I’ll spend the night banging my head against the wall.

rbj on January 26, 2014 at 3:47 PM

Mixed news on that front-they will have a huge all-star tribute to The Beatles, in honor of the Fab 4′s 50th. Paul and Ringo will perform together for the first time in 5 years.

But they will also hold an on-air wedding of 34 couples right in the middle of a musical number. It will be as the Left says “Equal Opportunity” (you connect the dots on that one).

Del Dolemonte on January 26, 2014 at 3:54 PM

nutz4hockey on January 26, 2014 at 3:42 PM

lol, did you hear about the game the LA Kings and LA Ducks played in Dodgers Stadium? 61 degrees, with a slight breeze.

Had to feel sorry earlier this afternoon when they had the first period intermission show at Yankee Stadium. Poor Southside Johnny looked like he wasn’t too happy with all of the Gore-bal Warming.

Del Dolemonte on January 26, 2014 at 3:52 PM

Oops, my bad, Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.

Del Dolemonte on January 26, 2014 at 3:58 PM

Yeah, felt for the guys having to skate in extreme temps in LA. And I can’t feel sorry for anyone who agrees to perform outdoors in New York in the winter, no matter how hot it gets!

nutz4hockey on January 26, 2014 at 3:58 PM

“MORE NFL” – A Bad Lip Reading of The NFL

Christien on January 26, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Key & Peele – East/West Bowl Rap

Christien on January 26, 2014 at 4:02 PM

..go Lions?

KOOLAID2 on January 26, 2014 at 4:05 PM

I get to write the Pro Bowl open thread post (7:30 pm ET, NBC)

Zzzz.

AMC is showing Godfather II over and over. It’s more exciting and will have more action than the Pro Bowl.

bw222 on January 26, 2014 at 3:54 PM

TCM: at 8, Young Mr. Lincoln (1939)

ESPN 2: a 30 for 30 program, some of which have been very interesting.

BuckeyeSam on January 26, 2014 at 4:07 PM

Yawn.

Happy for my main man Robert Quinn of the Rams getting well-earned recognition by not only making the squad but being named NFC Co-Captain.

However i have zero interest in the game itself.

Sacramento on January 26, 2014 at 4:11 PM

Another one that might be a good alternative is tonight’s new episode of “The Simpsons”. They have been on an absolute roll recently as far as high-quality episodes go, probably because this is the 25th season.

Tonight’s episode:

In “Specs and the City,” Mr. Burns gives high-tech eyeglasses to all of his employees in order to spy on them. Homer loves the enhanced reality of his new gadget – that is, until Marge tries them on and he finds out she’s seeing a marriage counselor. Meanwhile, Bart takes a stand against buying Nelson a Valentine’s Day card, despite buying one for every other kid in class, and Nelson delivers him an ultimatum: find him the best Valentine’s Day gift ever or be fed to the classroom electric pencil sharpener.

Del Dolemonte on January 26, 2014 at 4:11 PM

I’ll take “Porn stars who have actually been in a main stream movie” for $400, Alex…

ExpressoBold on January 26, 2014 at 4:26 PM

A Pro Bowl open thread? What, the watching paint dry open thread was taken?

Bitter Clinger on January 26, 2014 at 4:31 PM

The prime cars of the auction are going to be interesting.

forest on January 26, 2014 at 4:34 PM

I’ll take “Porn stars who have actually been in a main stream movie” for $400, Alex…

ExpressoBold on January 26, 2014 at 4:26 PM

Who is Stormy Daniels?

rbj on January 26, 2014 at 4:35 PM

What pop- tart is going yo be the halftime entertainment? Bieber in his orange jumpsuit singing jailhouse rock would be better than this stinker of a game. I won’t be watching.

simkeith on January 26, 2014 at 4:38 PM

Heck, there’ll be more action on the QOTD thread!

22044 on January 26, 2014 at 4:49 PM

I’d rather watch comments about comments about how people would rather ___ than watch the Pro Bowl.

Christien on January 26, 2014 at 4:56 PM

Zzzzzz

CWchangedhisNicagain on January 26, 2014 at 4:59 PM

Brees, Shady, and Graham. GO, TEAM RICE!

Christien on January 26, 2014 at 5:01 PM

Prediction: This is the last pro bowl

lorien1973 on January 26, 2014 at 5:04 PM

Prediction: This is the last pro bowl

lorien1973 on January 26, 2014 at 5:04 PM

They should really change it into a skills competition. The game is boring and not really competition.

CWchangedhisNicagain on January 26, 2014 at 5:17 PM

They should really change it into a skills competition. The game is boring and not really competition.

CWchangedhisNicagain on January 26, 2014 at 5:17 PM

That would be more fun. I remember years and years ago one of the networks did that overlapping athletes in different sports along with the sports. The best part of the whole thing was playing Simon Says. It was truly hysterical. The old guy running the game was fantastic.

Registered Nic on January 26, 2014 at 6:29 PM

Completely don’t care about this game……and really never have for decades.

Just a reason for a trip to that state we robbed from the harmless natives that lived in harmony with everyone.

PappyD61 on January 26, 2014 at 7:16 PM

I’ll be watching, as I watch a circus, looking for the clowns and hoping a tiger will maul his trainer. And, what else is there tonight, the Grammys? Or maybe it’s the same thing.

TXUS on January 26, 2014 at 7:43 PM

TXUS on January 26, 2014 at 7:43 PM

Sherlock on PBS.

Christien on January 26, 2014 at 7:54 PM

back to back turnovers?

rbj on January 26, 2014 at 8:44 PM

Nailed the high score on the pirate pinball machine down at Chuck E Cheese. Take that Crabtree!

forest on January 26, 2014 at 3:48 PM

Crabtree didn’t have a national meltdown on TV, Sherman did.

I’m getting my jollies off of switching back and forth from watching the Pro Bowl and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. There’s something satisfying watching the little guy take down the powers that be.

Rovin on January 26, 2014 at 10:17 PM

Sherlock on PBS.

Christien on January 26, 2014 at 7:54 PM

Dang! I missed it!

Vince on January 26, 2014 at 11:32 PM

Vince on January 26, 2014 at 11:32 PM

You can still watch it on pbs.org.

Btw, the Pro Bowl was pretty good. They actually played. Team Rice, FTW, after Tolbert’s 2-point conversion. Tucker nearly made a 67-yard (!) FG to ice the game for Team Sanders.

Christien on January 27, 2014 at 12:28 AM

The Pro Bowl is a bunch of guys goofing off boringly. If they want a good post-season game, one that reflects the fact that football is a team sport, how about one that pits the AFC’s best offense and best defense teams against the NFC’s?

PersonFromPorlock on January 27, 2014 at 8:12 AM

Could not find the game on TV however there was some game on with some idiots dressed in women’s football outfits think it was womans college game between Rice and some unheard school named Sanders. I finally gave up looking for the Pro Bowl and watched Howdy Doody vs. Clarabelle.

Wade on January 27, 2014 at 9:48 AM