Hard-hitting scoop from ABC News: 50 ways to honor FLOTUS on her birthday

posted at 5:41 pm on January 17, 2014 by Allahpundit

I’m tempted to rip them for wasting precious bandwidth on such a trivial subject, even during a painfully slow news week, but it’s late Friday afternoon and I’ve run out of content and here we are, my friends. Here we are.

You will be tempted to respond, “They never would have done that for Laura Bush.” Resist. Do you really want semi-serious news outlets devoting more resources to feting America’s aristocracy, if only in the interest of equal time?

My favorite part, incidentally, is that they list “shop at Target” twice, once by itself at number 20 and again “with sunglasses on” at number 33. So slapdash was this slobberfest that they couldn’t be bothered to double-check that they actually had 50 discrete reasons to swoon over FLOTUS before publishing. Good work, ABC.

6. Call the president, “Barack”

7. Plant a garden

8. Buy a Jason Wu dress

9. Drink lots of water

10. Get bangs

11. Shop at J. Crew

12. Play with Portuguese Water Dogs

13. Grab a burger at Five Guys

14. Lend a hand at a homeless shelter or food pantry

15. Laugh out loud

I did in fact laugh out loud at one point today so consider the First Lady duly honored.

Maybe ABC simply felt obliged to keep pace with the New York Times and NBC, both of whom also paused to recognize FLOTUS’s 50th in glowing terms but treated the occasion as if it’s some sort of quasi-news event. ABC was too honest for that. No news treatment here; no, to do this “story” properly, they had to go full BuzzFeed on it with an endless listicle punctuated by shiny-object photos to hold the attention of the easily distracted. It’s almost a clever parody of fawning politicelebrity coverage and the formulaic “viral” format. Almost.

Exit question: How much worse can it get? See John Nolte’s post about what CNN has planned tonight for the answer.


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Comment pages: 1 2

MO never even sent me a card on my birthday.

myiq2xu on January 17, 2014 at 6:36 PM

WaPo makes some comparisons:

Hillary Clinton also turned 50 while her husband was in office, in 1997. The then-First Lady marked the occasion with a string of parties, including a surprise black-tie affair for 100 thrown by friends, a White House bash for 500, and a two-day celebration in her hometown of Chicago (including an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show) culminating in a big event at the Cultural Center which the Post reported was attended by “dignitaries, celebrities, and movers and shakers.”

That’s a lot of cake.

Low-IQ Dems weigh in at the WaPo comments:

Happy birthday to my all time favorite First Lady! Here’s hoping Mrs Obama has a terrific time!

Man would I love to have an invitation to that party! A dance party. Who wouldn’t like that.?Happy Birthday Michelle. The world is a better place with you in it.

Del Dolemonte on January 17, 2014 at 6:36 PM

55.

Even tho POTUS is in Command, you really truly know,
that you are running the country, and theres nothing
wrong with being Large and in Charge!

canopfor on January 17, 2014 at 6:38 PM

Get fitted for a tiara

antipc on January 17, 2014 at 6:38 PM

And another WaPo piece comparing 2014 with 1997…

When Hillary Clinton turned 50 on Oct. 26, 1997, she carried the not-yet-healed bruises from having nearly run her husband’s presidency aground.

Her 50th birthday came just three years after her politically disastrous effort to overhaul the health-care system. Clinton had spent the first two of them in a sort of political exile, rarely venturing into the West Wing, and choosing her public appearances carefully. Even her wardrobe had undergone a shift, from teals and reds and blacks to pastel suits, with pumps to match.

Crimea River.

Del Dolemonte on January 17, 2014 at 6:38 PM

I did in fact laugh out loud at one point today so consider the First Lady duly honored.

Heh. I laugh out loud almost every time I stumble upon ABC calling itself “news”. People magadouche would be embarrassed to print this tripe, but watch them mock ABC for stealing their beat.

Jaibones on January 17, 2014 at 6:40 PM

okydoky

burrata on January 17, 2014 at 6:34 PM

.
Photo entitled “michelle-obama-bulge-e1273238194417″ and I added ” — WTF” for my own record… and how about that NAZI salute!

ExpressoBold on January 17, 2014 at 6:41 PM

74. Get your butt injected with silicone and a rusty needle by a 3rd world quack, so you can be more like your idol.

Fenris on January 17, 2014 at 6:41 PM

Please tell me why I am supposed to “honor” this biatch?

BeachBum on January 17, 2014 at 6:42 PM

50 Shades of Sycophancy

Christien on January 17, 2014 at 6:42 PM

Let’s send Mooch an American Flag for her birthday. After all on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, while watching the ceremonies, she said to Scooter, “All this for a flag.”

Disrepectful heifer.

kingsjester on January 17, 2014 at 6:43 PM

it’s late Friday afternoon and I’ve run out of content

Did HA report on the capture of the Swiss Cheese-Perv?

whatcat on January 17, 2014 at 6:44 PM

74. Get your butt injected with silicone and a rusty needle by a 3rd world quack, so you can be more like your idol.

Fenris on January 17, 2014 at 6:41 PM

Or just sit on their lard-asses watching The View eating taxpayer lobster like Moochelle does….

“Way to pimp me Ba-ba-wa!!!!!”

viking01 on January 17, 2014 at 6:45 PM

Disrepectful heifer.

kingsjester on January 17, 2014 at 6:43 PM

Ahem, didn’t she drop a couple of calves?

antipc on January 17, 2014 at 6:45 PM

55) Pretend you are married to a straight guy even though he used to have sex with white guys in exchange for cocaine.

http://www.examiner.com/article/childhood-friend-of-barack-obama-comes-forward-with-damaging-information

Vigilante on January 17, 2014 at 6:47 PM

Or just sit on their lard-asses watching The View eating taxpayer lobster like Moochelle does….

“Way to pimp me Ba-ba-wa!!!!!”

viking01 on January 17, 2014 at 6:45 PM

I thought she only ate organic food grown by her own hands in her own garden. Was I misinformed?

Fenris on January 17, 2014 at 6:48 PM

I feel a Twitter Mock-a-Thon coming on…

Jaibones on January 17, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Barack got her something classy from the White House gift shop.

Christien on January 17, 2014 at 6:55 PM

♫ Don’t deep-fry for me Ar-gen-ti-na…….♫

viking01 on January 17, 2014 at 6:59 PM

Barack got her something classy from the White House gift shop.

Christien on January 17, 2014 at 6:55 PM

A DVD compilation of his best speeches?

Fenris on January 17, 2014 at 6:59 PM

Great. So now, I have a new Hope and Dream…

That the Bus being driven into the elitist First Whore’s motorcade, causing a huge conflagration that consumes them all (except her detail, and innocent bystanders of course), is full of “journalists” from ABC, CBS, MSNBC…and Libfree is driving.

… Or I could find a $50 bill on the sidewalk.

Either way …pretty sweet.

a5minmajor on January 17, 2014 at 7:00 PM

55) Pretend you are married to a straight guy even though he used to have sex with white guys in exchange for cocaine.

http://www.examiner.com/article/childhood-friend-of-barack-obama-comes-forward-with-damaging-information

Vigilante on January 17, 2014 at 6:47 PM

Not just for cocaine,
he extracted the White House from Soros and a puppy from Ted the drunk.

burrata on January 17, 2014 at 7:00 PM

All hail the Queen…

or else heads will roll

parke on January 17, 2014 at 7:07 PM

How about a (Diet Plan) gift certificate?

viking01 on January 17, 2014 at 7:07 PM

Hard-hitting scoop from ABC News: 50 ways to honor FLOTUS on her birthday

#17 – flaming bag of dog shit at the White House door…

Rixon on January 17, 2014 at 7:09 PM

54. Buy a new beep beep beep beeper to signal I’m backing up.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 7:13 PM

I emailed her a fried twinkie.

Wrapped in a Barack suit.

Key West Reader on January 17, 2014 at 7:14 PM

AARP?:

Mark Knoller ‏@markknoller 16m

Mrs Obama seems at ease hitting the Big 5-0 today. pic.twitter.com/dVkiXJ4Nog
===========================

https://twitter.com/FLOTUS/status/424197242228981760/photo/1/large

canopfor on January 17, 2014 at 7:14 PM

Make sure you dine before you go to her birthday bash (it’s on hers and Barky’s dime, not ours, y’know)…

ya2daup on January 17, 2014 at 7:20 PM

My collie says:

There must be at least 50 ways to love your loser.

Collie, I think the song was “fifty ways to leave your lover”.

My collie says:

MYOB, CC. I got it right the first time.

CyberCipher on January 17, 2014 at 7:25 PM

Who really G’sAF about this racist Anti-American tw@t? I hope she has a miserable birthday and a worse year…

OmahaConservative on January 17, 2014 at 7:31 PM

Throw a birthday party, but tell the guests to eat before they arrive.
Because socialists are stingy with their OWN money.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 6:03 PM

…why aren’t people yelling about these cheap shits?…it’s not a ‘state’ affair…so JugEars and Mooch have to pay for it …and tell their friends to “eat first”…on the invitations!

KOOLAID2 on January 17, 2014 at 7:31 PM

My collie says:

There must be at least 50 ways to love your loser.

Collie, I think the song was “fifty ways to leave your lover”.

My collie says:

MYOB, CC. I got it right the first time.

CyberCipher on January 17, 2014 at 7:25 PM

There is a commercial with a man and his golden retriever….reminded me of you and collie…including the growling.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 7:33 PM

Throw a birthday party, but tell the guests to eat before they arrive.
Because socialists are stingy with their OWN money.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 6:03 PM

Silly Rove. They told everyone to eat before they came because Mooch hit the kitchen and left nothing for the simpletons that will celebrate her birth.

Key West Reader on January 17, 2014 at 7:35 PM

Silly Rove. They told everyone to eat before they came because Mooch hit the kitchen and left nothing for the simpletons that will celebrate her birth.

Key West Reader on January 17, 2014 at 7:35 PM

She was in the kitchen ravenously scarfing down the Wagyu Beef and shortribs like the entitled Chi-town hog she is…

OmahaConservative on January 17, 2014 at 7:38 PM

Throw a birthday party, but tell the guests to eat before they arrive.
Because socialists are stingy with their OWN money.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 6:03 PM

Silly Rove. They told everyone to eat before they came because Mooch hit the kitchen and left nothing for the simpletons that will celebrate her birth.

Key West Reader on January 17, 2014 at 7:35 PM

And at least two Whole Foods near the White House were cleaned out as well.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 7:48 PM

A lovely comment ABC moderators lft up for OVER 3 HOURS, while Ted Kennedy comparisons were deleted:

ExJon • 33 minutes ago
I must have missed ABCNews’ “50 Ways to Celebrate Laura Bush’s Birthday.”
6 •Reply•Share ›

Cynda P. ExJon • 32 minutes ago ?
Yes, number 1 should have been “Get away with vehicular homicide.” Say what you will about Michelle Obama, but at least she didn’t kill anyone.

tree hugging sister on January 17, 2014 at 8:11 PM

And at least two Whole Foods near the White House were cleaned out as well.

RovesChins on January 17, 2014 at 7:48 PM

Arugula was just a shout out to LizBeth Warren. Everyone knows that Community Agitators and Dictators love po peep food.

/That’s the stuff I eat now. It’s quite good, actually.

Key West Reader on January 17, 2014 at 8:26 PM

Did Michelle stay in Hawaii? Damm, I hope so!!

Sherman1864 on January 17, 2014 at 8:26 PM

“FLOTUS” does not comply with ObamaOptics. Your betters call her “Shelly O”.

RushBaby on January 17, 2014 at 8:31 PM

Allahpundit – this is not frivolous. This is how they are getting votes for the Democratic Party. And it is not getting better, it is getting worse. You think this is bad? Wait until you see what they start trotting out for Hilary. Remember how dumb the whole “binders full of women” thing was? That “silly” controversy might have cost Mitt the election. Silly is now serious. Take note. You will see more of it in the future.

GiantOrb on January 17, 2014 at 8:48 PM

Mrs Obama seems at ease hitting the Big 5-0 today. pic.twitter.com/dVkiXJ4Nog
===========================

https://twitter.com/FLOTUS/status/424197242228981760/photo/1/large

canopfor on January 17, 2014 at 7:14 PM

Was that really necessary sir?

arnold ziffel on January 17, 2014 at 8:53 PM

Because you know in all her humility, she won’t honor herself with a tax payer funded trip for 1,000 of her closest friends at the most expensive hotel on the Mediterranean. It is incumbent upon the plebes to pay homage to the modern day Mother Theresa that has blessed us with her glorious presence.

We should count ourselves lucky we have the royal family to lead us.

(Cue the photo of the anointed one and his virgin wife with golden halos majestically glowing overhead)

JAGonzo on January 17, 2014 at 9:02 PM

So they mentioned Target twice? Is that their new plan to spy on us, Target instead of the NSA?

Cindy Munford on January 17, 2014 at 9:08 PM

Disgust

Dingbat63 on January 17, 2014 at 9:31 PM

Good think it’s a slow news day. It took all day to find a picture of her smiling.

HellCat on January 17, 2014 at 9:53 PM

Hard-hitting scoop from ABC News: 50 ways to honor FLOTUS on her birthday

Izvestia speaks!

Dr. ZhivBlago on January 17, 2014 at 10:12 PM

I’ve got a bag of chocolate covered moose nuggets for her when the IRS/DHS comes knocking on my door for posting on H/A.

tbear44 on January 18, 2014 at 12:59 AM

Shes a nasty racist that disgraces the whitehouse as much as her husband does.

TX-96 on January 18, 2014 at 6:26 AM

I’ll lower the flag to half-mast: the republic apparently died.

zoyclem on January 18, 2014 at 6:27 AM

Here’s my list on how to honor the FLOTUS on her birthday:

10. Pack my kids nothing but dessert for their school lunch – just this once.

9. Donate to my local Libertarian Party

8. Fill up my Hummer

7. Say the Pledge of Allegiance – twice.

6. Reblog pictures of “Barack” taking selfies at Mandela’s funeral

5. Donate to the GOP

4. Remind all of my friends to sign up for Obamacare – if they even can.

3. Mention to all my family that I’ve been proud of my country since day one.

2. Express my pride in American exceptionalism via bumper stickers.

1. Give a homeless guy a job, instead of just a burger.

eyesights on January 18, 2014 at 10:17 AM

eyesights on January 18, 2014 at 10:17 AM

Love the list except for number five.

Cindy Munford on January 18, 2014 at 10:29 AM

I only celebrated her b-day with #2. Looking back, I guess I should consider it a breakfast burrito well invested.
Not so much at the time.

onomo on January 18, 2014 at 11:11 AM

Obama begins with a broad assessment of life in America in 2008, and life is not good: we’re a divided country, we’re a country that is “just downright mean,” we are “guided by fear,” we’re a nation of cynics, sloths, and complacents. “We have become a nation of struggling folks who are barely making it every day,” she said, as heads bobbed in the pews. “Folks are just jammed up, and it’s gotten worse over my lifetime. And, doggone it, I’m young. Forty-four!”

Must read from kingsjester – simply superb!

Schadenfreude on January 18, 2014 at 1:18 PM

eyesights on January 18, 2014 at 10:17 AM

5 – absolutely NOT

4 – absolutely NOT. Remind all to NOT comply, if you are still a free American. Otherwise you do her a favor and are part of the sheepledom.

Schadenfreude on January 18, 2014 at 1:22 PM

Disrepectful heifer.

kingsjester on January 17, 2014 at 6:43 PM

.
Ahem, didn’t she drop a couple of calves?

antipc on January 17, 2014 at 6:45 PM

.
Aw, c’mon now … don’t pick on their daughters.
.
( Meanwhile ……. I can’t stop laughing ! )… : )

listens2glenn on January 18, 2014 at 3:06 PM

I watched “Star Wars” in her honor.

Dr. Frank Enstine on January 18, 2014 at 4:27 PM

Le Beard.

Murphy9 on January 18, 2014 at 5:58 PM

What’s with the product placement on Moochelle’s wish list?

disa on January 18, 2014 at 6:33 PM

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