Maduro expels U.S. embassy officials for their obvious role in Venezuela’s toilet-paper shortages; Update: State Dept may take “reciprocal action”

posted at 8:01 pm on October 1, 2013 by Erika Johnsen

Most unfortunately, the nefarious and shadowy forces of imperialist aggression just never seem to let up on their evil machinations to persecute and undermine the righteously socialist people’s regime of Venezuela — or, anyway, that’s how its leaders remain determined to publicly interpret the situation in the midst of persistent material woes. Former president Hugo Chavez was excessively fond of blaming foreign-based conspiracies for all of his country’s fiscal and economic problems, and his successor Nicholas Maduro is desperately grasping at the same tactic in the face of an ever-worsening economic scenario.

As the country is gripped with rolling blackouts and severe basic goods shortages, Maduro has been escalating his verbal campaign on the role of Western sabotage (in league with his political opposition, of course) in screwing up his otherwise glorious economy — and things just went from bad to worse. Via the NYT:

Stepping up hostilities with the United States, President Nicolás Maduro of Venezuela expelled the top American diplomat and two other embassy officials from the country on Monday, accusing them of supporting plots to sabotage the country’s electrical grid and the economy.

“Get out of Venezuela! Yankee go home!” Mr. Maduro shouted as he announced the expulsions at a military event to commemorate the bicentennial of a battle in Venezuela’s war of independence.

“We have detected a group of officials of the United States Embassy in Caracas, in Venezuela, and we have been tracking them for several months,” Mr. Maduro said during a live television broadcast. “These officials spend their time meeting with the Venezuelan extreme right wing, financing them and encouraging them to take actions to sabotage the electrical system, to sabotage the Venezuelan economy.”

The three officials expelled included the diplomat basically running the place in the absence of an actual U.S. ambassador in Caracas since 2010:

The diplomats expelled on Monday included Kelly Keiderling, the chargé d’affaires, who runs the embassy in the absence of an ambassador here. …

Another one of the diplomats expelled on Monday was Elizabeth Hoffman, an official in the embassy’s political section, whom Mr. Maduro had publicly accused at least as early as April of meeting with opposition figures to plot sabotage of the electrical system. He said at the time that he had proof but took no action until Monday. The third official being expelled is David Moo, the vice consul.

The scapegoatism is overwhelming me.

Update: Oh, it’s on. Retaliation:

The U.S. State Department denied those charges today and hinted it may expel Venezuelan diplomats from the U.S.

“We completely reject the Venezuelan government’s allegations of the U.S. government involvement in any type of conspiracy to destabilize the Venezuelan government,” State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki said at a press briefing in Washington, D.C.

“The United States may take reciprocal action,” Psaki said. “We’re still considering what actions we might take.”


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That was a video of one of the embassy staff….

FloatingRock on October 1, 2013 at 8:11 PM

Caca!

RovesChins on October 1, 2013 at 8:11 PM

Just when i thought this day couldn’t get any better.

How will the media spin this as a HUGH WIN for King Barky?

jukin3 on October 1, 2013 at 8:12 PM

Obviously it was David Moo, the name gives him away.

LincolntheHun on October 1, 2013 at 8:13 PM

…wipe my a$s!

KOOLAID2 on October 1, 2013 at 8:13 PM

If i ran the nefarious and shadowy forces of imperialist aggression TP would be my first strike. Yeah, I play to win.

jukin3 on October 1, 2013 at 8:14 PM

Wreckers!

rob verdi on October 1, 2013 at 8:15 PM

Wait, I thought Spiderman was responsible!

Resist We Much on October 1, 2013 at 8:15 PM

If i ran the nefarious and shadowy forces of imperialist aggression TP would be my first strike. Yeah, I play to win.

jukin3 on October 1, 2013 at 8:14 PM

I would turn that green government parrot against his captors.

RovesChins on October 1, 2013 at 8:16 PM

As the country is gripped with rolling blackouts and severe basic goods shortages,…

Today Venezuela; in 3 years, the US! Si, si puerde! </channel_SCOAMT>

Steve Eggleston on October 1, 2013 at 8:17 PM

Pull everyone out! Let’s see what excuses the dumb ass comes up with then.

GarandFan on October 1, 2013 at 8:18 PM

Maduro expels U.S. embassy officials for their obvious role in Venezuela’s toilet-paper shortages

Shitte!

Electrongod on October 1, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Shitte!

Electrongod on October 1, 2013 at 8:19 PM

This thread is done; everything is coming in number 2 to that.

Steve Eggleston on October 1, 2013 at 8:21 PM

Look for Obama to refuse them reentry to the US in solidarity with his buddy Chavez’s protege.

BD57 on October 1, 2013 at 8:21 PM

“Yankee Go Home!” is a standard refrain south of the Rio Grande, and has been for generations. As Plinio Apuleyo Mendoza, Carlos Alberto Montaner, and Alvaro Vargas Llosa said in Guide to the Perfect Latin American Idiot, blaming el Norteamericanos for all the local ills has been the default excuse of dictators going back to before the days of United Fruit (see “banana republic”- not the clothing line).

As for the expelled diplomats, considering who sent this crew down there (The One, Shrillary, and Lurch), I’d expect them to be conspiring with left-wing radicals, if anybody. More likely, they’d be working with the government sub rosa.

As for Maduro, between him and Chavez, I can only assume it’s either the heat or something in the water that tends to breed socialist-to-outright-Communist nutzoids in the halls of power in those parts.

clear ether

eon

eon on October 1, 2013 at 8:23 PM

It’s the chicks. They ALWAYS use more TP than they need.

socalcon on October 1, 2013 at 8:24 PM

Shitte!

Electrongod on October 1, 2013 at 8:19 PM

OMG….coffee spew. TP Thread winner!

CoffeeLover on October 1, 2013 at 8:25 PM

I don’t know…he may on to something…couple of more years of Obama and we’ll probably have toilet paper shortages here as well.

AUINSC on October 1, 2013 at 8:29 PM

Kelly Keiderling, Elizabeth Hoffman, and David Moo.

The three most happy employees at the State Department. They may or may not be subject to the shutdown now that they are expelled but nobody is accusing them of sabotage either.

Happy Nomad on October 1, 2013 at 8:29 PM

********************* SH*T ****************************!!!

canopfor on October 1, 2013 at 8:33 PM

Venezuela nationalizes toilet paper, then has shortages.

America nationalizes health insurance, then has website outages.

We have become a third world sh*thole.

faraway on October 1, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Erika should blog more about China.

DarkCurrent on October 1, 2013 at 8:34 PM

What, were they using more than one square?

Dusty on October 1, 2013 at 8:35 PM

Shitte!

Electrongod on October 1, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Electrongod:Lol,ya beat me to it,….*Stands and Salutes*:)

canopfor on October 1, 2013 at 8:37 PM

I blame Big Toilet Paper.

rbj on October 1, 2013 at 8:38 PM

Sounds reasonable.

John the Libertarian on October 1, 2013 at 8:39 PM

I’d hate those suckers to see what goes on around here at homecoming week.

Cindy Munford on October 1, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Obama, time to take another apology tour to Venezuela this time.

mobydutch on October 1, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Hope and Wipe

faraway on October 1, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Super Duper Pooper Scooper !!!!!! ¡Ay, caramba!

ExpressoBold on October 1, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Now that the U.S. officials have been expelled the butt wipes will reappear by the trainload.

I love these petty little fascists, they’re so corny.

Bishop on October 1, 2013 at 8:43 PM

Reminds me how the left tried to blame Republicans for Detroit’s fiscal woes. These people are insufferable.

heretic on October 1, 2013 at 8:53 PM

And we thought Chavez was a turd…

trigon on October 1, 2013 at 8:56 PM

Something smells like sulfur.

faraway on October 1, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I have got to say, the people on the right have the snarkiest sense of humor. I have laughed so much today with their comebacks.

Barred on October 1, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Most unfortunately, the nefarious and shadowy forces of imperialist aggression just never seem to let up on their evil machinations to persecute and undermine the righteously socialist people’s regime of Venezuela — or, anyway, that’s how its leaders remain determined to publicly interpret the situation in the midst of persistent material woes.

Isn’t that Obama’s modus operandi? Blame others for his socialist screw-ups?

Galt2009 on October 1, 2013 at 9:09 PM

What do they mean blame America? Hey that’s Obama’s line!!! If anybody blames America, it’s Obama.

/modified dialog from “George Castanza” – Seinfeld

Bleed_thelizard on October 1, 2013 at 9:11 PM

SCHIESSISITY!!<<<<(HT Schadenfreude)

No more WET WIPES!! ;)

Scrumpy on October 1, 2013 at 9:13 PM

When I see how crazy things are in Washington; the arrogant bombast from the Executive, the bloated Congressional rhetoric, the hapless bureaucracy, the media malfeasance, etc.

And the I see Venezuela, and I think, yeah, it could be even a little bit worse here.

dissent555 on October 1, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Obama will probably reciprocate by and executive order making toilet paper illegal in the US…that’ll show ‘em.

AUINSC on October 1, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Just go over to the Venezuelan embassy and toilet paper the dang thing…..

crosshugger on October 1, 2013 at 9:17 PM

Can we get an Oil for TP exchange going?

One barrel of oil for one roll of 2-ply, 1000 sheet TP would be ideal.

ajacksonian on October 1, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Has Sheyl Crow commented?

Ellis on October 1, 2013 at 9:24 PM

“The United States may take reciprocal action,” Psaki said. “We’re still considering what actions we might take.”

If they had any wit, they would send their gravest commiserations on this horrible crisis and send 500 pallets of Quilted Northern double-ply to Venezuela.

HitNRun on October 1, 2013 at 9:26 PM

It would be amusing (and embarrassing)to send the Venezuelan diplomats back with complimentary 36 roll packages of Charmin.

schmuck281 on October 1, 2013 at 9:29 PM

Update: State Dept may take “reciprocal action”

What type of “reciprocal” action would the U.S. take for a scandal involving toilet paper? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

Kingfisher on October 1, 2013 at 9:38 PM

Maduro sounds only slightly less wacky than the Democrats in Washington this week.

Socratease on October 1, 2013 at 9:57 PM

Update: State Dept may take “reciprocal action”

What type of “reciprocal” action would the U.S. take for a scandal involving toilet paper? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

Kingfisher on October 1, 2013 at 9:38 PM

The US nationalizing Venezuela’s stake in Citgo?

Myron Falwell on October 1, 2013 at 10:00 PM

“Update: State Dept may take “reciprocal action”

Does this mean that someone in ol’ foggy bottom (who knows about bottoms) is going to wipe the a$$es of Venezuela for them. Knowing our state department, they will probably kiss the same area as the Venezuelans want wiped.

Old Country Boy on October 1, 2013 at 10:17 PM

“We have detected a group of officials of the United States Embassy in Caracas, in Venezuela, and we have been tracking them for several months,” Mr. Maduro said during a live television broadcast. “These officials spend their time meeting with the Venezuelan extreme right wing, financing them and encouraging them to take actions to sabotage the electrical system, to sabotage the Venezuelan economy.”

Wow, that’s some classic Banana Republic stuff there…awesome!

Dr. ZhivBlago on October 1, 2013 at 10:28 PM

Finally something that is “Obama’s fault” my guess is Bush will, in the end, be blamed.

david kumbera on October 1, 2013 at 11:10 PM

Bush has been stealing Hispanics toilet paper!!!!! Tell the NYT.

pat on October 2, 2013 at 1:18 AM

Maduro expels U.S. embassy officials for their obvious role in Venezuela’s toilet-paper shortages.

Clearly a case of “Wipe-man’s burden”.

Dr. Charles G. Waugh on October 2, 2013 at 1:24 AM

Terrible shame our diplomats have to roll-out over this.

PXCharon on October 2, 2013 at 3:03 AM

Venezuela has replaced a buffoonish thug with a cartoon character–and not one from a decent show, either.

M. Scott Eiland on October 2, 2013 at 5:11 AM

“The United States may take reciprocal action,” Psaki said. “We’re still considering what actions we might take.”

Well, lobbyists for Big Corn are surely missing an opportunity here. They should be heavily pressuring the congress to create a tax break for shipping all those ethanol-subsidization-generated corn cobs directly to Venezuela.

Added bonus: Just think of all the poor trees that would not be murdered!

gepaza on October 2, 2013 at 7:59 AM

Dag-nabbit…BUSTED! Maduro caught us….Obamacare, the government shut-down, the fake feuding between American politicians….it was all part of the Caolition-supported Conspiracy to deny Venezuela TOILET PAPER. Curses!

easyt65 on October 2, 2013 at 8:11 AM

Instead of a roll of tp, the Manuroistas will have to resort to the old reusable chicken-bone-on-a-string next to the crapper.

trl on October 2, 2013 at 12:04 PM

I don’t know…he may on to something…couple of more years of Obama and we’ll probably have toilet paper shortages here as well.

AUINSC on October 1, 2013 at 8:29 PM

That’s bound to happen when your government is full of [censored].

GWB on October 2, 2013 at 12:13 PM

If only Venezuelans were civilized, like the French! But then, they’d probably have bidet shortage.

Tyrone Slothrop on October 2, 2013 at 11:22 PM

Those bastards at the embassy were using 2 PLY!! Arrogant Americans!

WryTrvllr on October 2, 2013 at 11:52 PM

Reciprocal action:

Ship no more imodium to Venezuela.

WryTrvllr on October 3, 2013 at 12:01 AM

The Great Ass-wipe Heist?

But hey – whadda ya want from a loon named after a cigar wrapper?

mojo on October 3, 2013 at 2:08 AM