With the Democratic primary just around the corner on September 10th, Anthony Weiner doesn’t have long to get his flailing campaign back on track — but if they must go down, by golly, you better believe they’re going to go down with all guns blazing! Or, something like that — I’m not actually sure what it is they’re trying to accomplish. Anyway, hence the sudden barrage of three new 30-second spots that will be hitting New York television airwaves this week.

The first ad, “Choices,” features a gamut of testimonials from New York City voters, and it’s Weiner’s first ad featuring seemingly regular New Yorkers speaking on his behalf — except that it appears that at least two of them work or have worked for his campaign in the past, according to the New York Daily News. Fail.

Er… yes, because goodness knows politicians never talk about ‘the middle class.’ Anthony Weiner must really be something special, eh?

In the second, “Healthy,” Weiner touts his ol’ standby universal healthcare and single-payer system signature issue.

And the third, “Mejor,” has Spanish-speaking New Yorkers mentioning health care, public schools, small businesses, and then the money lines: “The private life of a candidate is not important to me. It’s his work in politics what’s important for us New Yorkers. He will be the best mayor that this city has seen” Ahem.

I’ll admit that the ads look well produced, but will they be enough to boost his woebegone campaign in the face of waning media attention and lack of voter interest? You can’t see it, but trust that I’m wearing my “incredulity to the point of outright derision” face right now.