How do you make a hagiographic miniseries about Hillary?

posted at 8:01 pm on August 8, 2013 by Allahpundit

Ross Douthat was tweeting about this earlier. He has no answers; neither do I. Which may explain why even Hillary allies like David Brock aren’t keen on the idea of a biopic before the election. It sounds helpful to her campaign in theory (hence the RNC’s opposition) but when you try to telescope the last 20 years into a string of heroic moments that explain how Hillary became Hillary!, what do you come up with? What are the glorious triumphs that the screenwriter would be sure to showcase so that viewers would say, “Ah yes, this is why she’s presidential timber”?

Bueller?

My reply to Douthat was that her “heroism” consists entirely of soldiering on through these episodes of victimization. He agreed, but noted that when it comes to glorifying people for their martyrdom, at least Joan of Arc won some battles along the way. Which battles did Hillary win? She lost on HillaryCare. She beat Rick Lazio, a second-tier candidate, to win a Senate seat in a state where she had a huge electoral advantage as a Democrat and vastly, vastly more name recognition. She botched her chance to become the first woman nominee in 2008 when she and her team were out-organized by Obama (especially in caucus states) despite starting out far ahead in the polls and having her very popular ex-president husband campaigning on her behalf. She bounced back to become America’s top diplomat, but the “accomplishment” that’s most often mentioned from her tenure is how many miles she and her team logged in the air conducting shuttle diplomacy. Beyond that it’s Benghazi and the Russian “reset” that she championed, which is going amazingly at the moment. There are good movies that can be made about Hillary, but like Douthat says, the drama would be driven by the ordeals she’s endured in pursuit of power, not by what she’s achieved with power once obtained. What kind of campaign commercial is that? It’d be like making a miniseries about Nixon in 1968 to tout his candidacy and focusing on him keeping a stiff upper lip through the Checkers affair, his humiliations at Eisenhower’s hands, and the gubernatorial loss in 1962. That … does show a certain resoluteness, I guess, but would a movie like that have helped him? The argument for Nixon was that he was an obviously smart, ruthless, familiar old hand who knew how to operate in Washington. That’s the argument for Hillary too. You can win running as that character in certain circumstances, but what the hell kind of hagiography is that? If I want to watch that story, I’ll cue up “House of Cards.”

Bottom line: For all the mockery made of Obama in 2008 for running on the power of his celebrity, Hillary will be running as a sort of celebrity too. Her resume’s better than his was because she does, in fact, have lots of experience navigating Congress (dating from her time as Bill’s “co-president”) and she has foreign-policy cred from her time at State, but given the lack of big-ticket achievements, this stuff operates mostly as window dressing for Hillary the Icon. Who’s voting for her because of what she did at State rather than the mere fact that she possesses the credential? Nearly everyone considered her an overwhelming favorite for the nomination in 2008 at first, despite her Iraq vote and despite the fact that she had only five years’ more experience in the Senate than Obama. Why was that? Partly it was perceptions that a black candidate couldn’t win, but mainly, I think, it was the sheer size of Hillary’s celebrity: How was a charismatic unknown from Illinois going to beat someone who’d been so famous for 15 years that virtually every voter could identify her by her first name alone? The same is true for 2016. Measuring by accomplishments alone — influence over policy, legislation passed, etc — Joe Biden’s clearly more qualified than Hillary for the nomination, but he’s starting out 50 points behind in some primary polls. Why? Because he’s Joe Biden and she’s Hillary! A miniseries hagiography wouldn’t address that, even though it’s key to her phenomenon. And it wouldn’t help her politically if it did.


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Take a good long look at that face. She may be all yours.

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 8:03 PM

Wish I could find the reference but I still recall her comment after Iowa, when asked about Obama’s chances of actually getting the nomination. I believe her answer was, “Get serious.” But, if someone knows or has a reference, I could be off a bit but that’s close.

IndieDogg on August 8, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Hah-hah

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Not sure, but I have no doubt it involves a lot of bald-face lying.

AZCoyote on August 8, 2013 at 8:07 PM

@alexmassie Oh, sure. But weird to have a biopic in which your steely future-president heroine spends her political career being a victim.

— Ross Douthat (@DouthatNYT) August 8, 2013

She’ll have all the other hypocritical feminazi sows surrounding her. See Wiener and Filner coverage.

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 8:08 PM

What’s impressive about Hillary? Or is Ross just making sure he’s still invited to all the right cocktail parties.

rbj on August 8, 2013 at 8:08 PM

How do you make a hagiographic miniseries about Hillary?

Anything made about Shrillary would be hag-o-graphic.

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on August 8, 2013 at 8:09 PM

Surely if Obama can become President based solely on being black, Hillary can do the same as a woman? The biopic highlights? Pantsuits. Lots and lots of pantsuits. Women wear pantsuits. Do you get it now?

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:11 PM

Hagagruzka!!

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on August 8, 2013 at 8:12 PM

Any true-to-life Hillary miniseries would have to include 12 installments, each one corresponding to a different step in her road to recovery.

steebo77 on August 8, 2013 at 8:12 PM

Exit Answer:
What Difference Does it Make???

ted c on August 8, 2013 at 8:12 PM

One thing about Hillary is two days after Benghazi she was kowtowing to the mob that killed our ambassador, making excuses to them, saying that the Obama admin had nothing to do with that terrible youtube video that she blamed the killings on, and saying that the video is wrong and that “Islam is a religion of peace.”

Sure it is. But Hillary was stooping too low. Why not hold your head up high and minister to the outrage we felt over the dead Americans, instead of pandering to the murderous hoard.

anotherJoe on August 8, 2013 at 8:12 PM

does hagiography= revisionist history?

ted c on August 8, 2013 at 8:13 PM

A Hillary miniseries would surely inspire numerous drinking games, the most obvious of which would consist of taking a drink every time Hillary takes a drink.

steebo77 on August 8, 2013 at 8:13 PM

does hagiography= revisionist history?

ted c on August 8, 2013 at 8:13 PM

Revisionist herstory.

steebo77 on August 8, 2013 at 8:14 PM

The beautiful, poised Diane Lane is slated to play Hillary. She doesn’t have a bad camera angle. She doesn’t take a bad photograph. Do a google image search of her. That’s worth a million votes right there.

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:16 PM

Will they have a weeble starring as Shrillary?

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on August 8, 2013 at 8:16 PM

Hillary’s career peaked when she was potty trained. All the rest is fluff and lies.

fogw on August 8, 2013 at 8:17 PM

The scumhag has blood on her hands/soul in Benghazi, until she dies. So does obama.

Asaad killed the people there. It’s just not reported. obama new in the frist few seconds, and went…oh well, you know where he went.

Hillary covered for him. They are two and the same. Still, the obamas will never support Hillary. The luncheon was to tell her that he’ll throw her under the bus, again.

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 8:18 PM

obama new knew

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Still, the obamas will never support Hillary. The luncheon was to tell her that he’ll throw her under the bus, again.

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 8:18 PM

Shrillary won’t fit under a bus.

ThePrimordialOrderedPair on August 8, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Nearly everyone considered her an overwhelming favorite for the nomination in 2008 at first, despite her Iraq vote and despite the fact that she had only five years’ more experience in the Senate than Obama.

Four years more experience: Hillary was elected to the Senate in 2000, Obama in 2004.

J.S.K. on August 8, 2013 at 8:19 PM

It doesn’t matter what she’s done.

There is going to be a few republican villains, some pro gay stuff, a scene of her meeting with Israelis and Palestinians, a dig at Palin’s stupidity, A heart rending scene where she hears T.Kenedy died, some Tparty villains, a tender scene with her and Obama making tough decisions, Bill will cry and apologize in a another heart rending scene, her amazing speech at the NOW event, A short scene of her calculating statistics on AGW, some more old white male republican villains … Like it needs to be historically accurate or even chronological – LOL. You eggheads are over thinking it.

BoxHead1 on August 8, 2013 at 8:20 PM

Motherland

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 8:20 PM

I think Hillary is very impressive and likely to be our next POTUS.
— Ross Douthat (@DouthatNYT) August 8, 2013

Hilarious and sad. This guy is considered smart?

rrpjr on August 8, 2013 at 8:20 PM

How do you make a hagiographic miniseries about Hillary?

Cross Mommy Dearest with Evita. With some elements of The Scarface Mob thrown in for good (or bad) measure.

Keep in mind, she’s originally from Snorky’s side of town, and has about his definition of “customer relations”, too.

clear ether

eon

eon on August 8, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Benghazi proved, without doubt, that at 3:00 a.m. she’s as dumb as obama.

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Asaad killed the people there. It’s just not reported. obama new in the frist few seconds, and went…oh well, you know where he went.

Do we know where he went? I still wonder about that and whether he was high at the time and couldn’t respond. No proof, just the complete unwillingness of anyone to say exactly why he was so err, detached that night.

WitchDoctor on August 8, 2013 at 8:23 PM

Diane Lane, the actress playing Hillary, is a model of feminine beauty. We’re doomed.

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:24 PM

Just get it over and inaugurate her already……the gop will nominate another Big gov loving Progressive loser so just save the time and money.

Keep your loins girded Billy Jeff is coming back to the White House. This time the shrew is in the big office though.

PappyD61 on August 8, 2013 at 8:24 PM

I don’t see her appeal. She’s not charismatic. She’s smart….but she’s no smarter than any other politician. Her life story isn’t particularly interesting.

terryannonline on August 8, 2013 at 8:26 PM

Basically like a blaxploitation film… Republican evildoers etc…

Hillary as Shaft.

happytobehere on August 8, 2013 at 8:26 PM

Diane Lane? Ludicrous. Beyond hagiography into pure worshipful delusion.

Here is who they should have cast — Rebecca deMornay.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000360/?ref_=sr_3

Good actress, right bone structure and can exude the necessary aura of meanness.

rrpjr on August 8, 2013 at 8:26 PM

How do you make a hagiographic miniseries about Hillary?

You are libfree and just hit PowerBall?

katy the mean old lady on August 8, 2013 at 8:27 PM

Take a good long look at that face. She may be all yours.

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 8:03 PM

But, I don’t want her!!!!!!!!!!!!!(stomps feet on floor)

Barred on August 8, 2013 at 8:28 PM

I think Hillary is very impressive and likely to be our next POTUS. But her career to date doesn’t fit the conventional biopic frame AT ALL.

derp

JR on August 8, 2013 at 8:30 PM

She also cried, the night that Obama beat her in Iowa.

I don’t know, that was odd. I hate to be a chauvinist, and that’s a woman’s right and there’s nothing wrong with that, and I felt her sadness, but it showed emotional instability, not the rock hard stability that her ads portrayed her as having. And here, after Benghazi, you see her kind of emotionally wondering, and pandering to the killers in fact. She was not a fountain of support for those that had lost their loved ones in Libya.

anotherJoe on August 8, 2013 at 8:32 PM

It doesn’t matter what she’s done.

BoxHead1 on August 8, 2013 at 8:20 PM

There you go. Hillary, suffering, with grace. Though I’m trying to think of her darkest moments. When Bill told her he lied about Lewinsky, and she had to go out there with heavy eyeliner to hide the fact she’d been crying? Yikes. That’s ugly on so many levels. When she was shot at in Bosnia? Sure, but that was a lie. Losing some important primary? Oh, I know. When Rush Limbaugh had his TV show and insulted Chelsea? Not quite what happened though. The drama of her different hairstyles? Being teased as a child? Oh, I need help here. Oh, I know! Her friend Vince Foster killing himself. I REALLY don’t think they want to go there. She put so much pressure on him, people might think she contributed to his suicide. Don’t know why they’d think that.

OK, I give up. No clue. I have no clue of a single heroic moment in her life.

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:34 PM

How do you make a hagiographic miniseries about Hillary?

Lie like a dog?

Ward Cleaver on August 8, 2013 at 8:39 PM

Diane Lane? Ludicrous. Beyond hagiography into pure worshipful delusion.

Here is who they should have cast — Rebecca deMornay.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000360/?ref_=sr_3

Good actress, right bone structure and can exude the necessary aura of meanness.

rrpjr on August 8, 2013 at 8:26 PM

DeMornay always struck me as … it’s hard to explain. Alluring beyond words. She probably wasn’t available.

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:39 PM

DeMornay always struck me as … it’s hard to explain. Alluring beyond words. She probably wasn’t available.

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:39 PM

In Risky Business? Oh my.

Ward Cleaver on August 8, 2013 at 8:40 PM

The defining ‘film’ of H.R. Clinton has already been shot and aired. It was the footage obtained as she stood over the coffins of the four fallen U.S. citizens who died in Benghazi, using them as props, as she put forth the lies to cover for the administration and the Department of State.

To lie as she did, post Benghazi, and then snap at congressmen who dared question her role in what occurred in Benghazi “What difference, at this point, does it make?” clearly having thought nothing of those coffins she used as props, suggests she has no conscience at all.

Personally, I believe she has no conscience, no moral compass, at all.

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 8:40 PM

I’m not as convinced as Douthat that Hillary will be the next president. I wouldn’t be surprised if she chose not run.

terryannonline on August 8, 2013 at 8:42 PM

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 8:40 PM

At my last haircut I told my barber that story, much as you just relayed it, including her blaming the what we now know to be the completely unrelated video for the murders. He muttered “s***”, and then apologized for cursing. I said it’s OK, I understood!

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:45 PM

I can’t wait for the Bosnian Tarmac Sniper fire
scene of HilRod,dancing and tapping around,under
a hail of bullitts!!

canopfor on August 8, 2013 at 8:47 PM

IRS agent: Tax agency is still targeting Tea Party groups

In a remarkable admission that is likely to rock the Internal Revenue Service again, testimony released Thursday by House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp reveals that an agent involved in reviewing tax exempt applications from conservative groups told a committee investigator that the agency is still targeting Tea Party groups, three months after the IRS scandal erupted..

In closed door testimony before the House Ways & Means Committee, the unidentified IRS agent said requests for special tax status from Tea Party groups is being forced into a special “secondary screening” because the agency has yet to come up with new guidance on how to judge the tax status of the groups.

VorDaj on August 8, 2013 at 8:48 PM

Chelsea’s smarter. C’mon, nominate her!

fatherspledge on August 8, 2013 at 8:49 PM

Scene one: Hillary as a young Yale Law graduate, opening a letter from the D.C. Board of Bar Examiners. “We regret to inform you . . . ” Hillary screams a blood-curdling scream of rage, and throws a lamp against the wall.

Scene two: Hillary sitting alone her in apartment in D.C. with a bottle of scotch and a legal pad, thinking up excuses to tell her parents and friends about why she failed the D.C. bar exam, and writing them down in a list: #1- “I was distracted by problems in my relationship with Bill;” #2- “My roommate’s dog ate my prep books;” #3 – “I wrote great outlines, but then couldn’t study from them because I forgot where I put them” (an excuse she’ll recycle years later for her Rose Law Firm billing records), etc.

Scene three: Hillary on Capitol Hill, getting fired from her first job by her boss, who tells her there is no way he’s going to write a letter of recommendation for her, because he thinks she is one of the most unethical lawyers he’s ever encountered.

Scene four: Hillary packing her bags and tossing them into her VW as she prepares to move to Arkansas, while muttering angrily to herself about “idiot, in-bred hillbillies” and stomping her foot while screaming “I’m so much better than them!”

You know, with the right screenwriters, this movie could actually be a lot of fun!

AZCoyote on August 8, 2013 at 8:50 PM

Personally, I believe she has no conscience, no moral compass, at all.

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 8:40 PM

Her advantage?

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 8:51 PM

I believe the story should begin with Monica Lewinsky licking her lips and dabbing her chin.

Shaughnessy on August 8, 2013 at 8:52 PM

Basically, you have a heroine whose 3 most famous moments are 1) the defeat of Hillarycare, 2) the Lewinsky scandal, and 3) losing to Obama.

Trump card: she’s a woman.

VibrioCocci on August 8, 2013 at 8:52 PM

I think Hillary is very impressive and likely to be our next POTUS. But her career to date doesn’t fit the conventional biopic frame AT ALL.

Obama wasn’t what the MSM allowed him to be portrayed as in 2008 either.

And Trayvon Martin was far from an innocent angel of a child going to 7-11 for candy and then joyfully skipping home to daddy, either.

We are living in an Orwellian nation. In one of the great ironies in history, at a time when there is more free and open communication of information between human beings than ever before by many orders of magnitude, obvious lies and untruths become widely accepted “common knowledge” even quicker than ever before.

What does that say about the future of universal suffrage democracy?

farsighted on August 8, 2013 at 8:54 PM

I think Hillary is very impressive

Ross Douthat

Ross Douch-hat, more likely.

and she has foreign-policy cred from her time at State,

WTF? Name ONE THING she did well at State, one thing that demonstrated anything more than second=rate hackery. Why do you give credence to the lie by repeating it mindlessly?

bofh on August 8, 2013 at 8:56 PM

Paul-Cincy on August 8, 2013 at 8:45 PM

I think, as a counter to any flattering fiction that Hollywood cobbles together promoting H.R. Clinton, the footage of that press conference and the photo of her with the caption telling congressman “What difference, at this point, does it make.” followed by footage of the funeral of the four men killed in Benghazi, narrated with a description and timeline of what happened as Woods and Dogherty held that roof top and repeatedly asked for help, and ending with list of the 35 people they saved, 7 critically wounded, rolling across a silent, black, screen, should be played before and after each airing of those inevitably fictionalized ‘biopics’ of H.R.Clinton.

Possibly throw in footage of Susan Rice promulgating the lie that the Benghazi attack was the result of a You Tube video before the body of the UN, followed by the footage of the arrest of the maker of that You Tube video, ending with Obama standing before the same UN body declaring “The future must not belong to those who slander the profit of Islam.”

Wrap it up with Bill Clinton officiating at the Huma/Anthony Wiener wedding as Hillary looks on all smiles… and then show Huma Weiner’s parents and note their links to terrorist organizations, and then dissolve into the headlines rolling for the first Weiner scandal, his being thrown out of congress, the SECOND Weiner scandal …Huma saying nearly verbatim what H.R.Clinton said after the Bill and the Blue Dress scandal broke… and H.R. Clinton sending Huma as far away from her as possible… Bill saying “It’s personal.”

Fade to black.

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Just keep in mind that her first name is really Diane. Hillary is her middle name.

Why not use the script for Hell to Pay, the book written by Barbara (I can’t think of her last name), who died in one of the planes on 9/11/01?

onlineanalyst on August 8, 2013 at 8:59 PM

bofh on August 8, 2013 at 8:56 PM

WTF is it with these people making blanket statements and never backing them up? Just like libfree the other day on HA claiming he had “dozens of examples” on something but couldn’t even shit out three.

arnold ziffel on August 8, 2013 at 9:01 PM

Being a “victim” now qualifies as being President?

Basically, you have a heroine whose 3 most famous moments are 1) the defeat of Hillarycare, 2) the Lewinsky scandal, and 3) losing to Obama.

4) A ‘reset’ with Russia w/o a ‘reset’
5) Getting a US Ambassador and 3 others killed
6) Covering the sexual peccadillo’s of another US Ambassador

Let’s give credit where credit is due……………..

GarandFan on August 8, 2013 at 9:01 PM

2008: White guilt ushers in our first black president.

2012: Americans aren’t better off after the first four years of Obama, but he seems like such a nice guy. Why not vote him back into office? What could go wrong? Besides, race hustlers told us that if we didn’t vote him back in that we would be racists, so …

2016: Now that America has moved past it’s racist origins by electing the first white-African American half-black black POTUS, it’s time for those same Americans to show that they have moved beyond their misogynist ways and elect the first woman president.

Nothing else will resonate like back-to-back historical presidencies, right?

/

VibrioCocci on August 8, 2013 at 9:02 PM

Wrap it up with Bill Clinton officiating at the Huma/Anthony Wiener wedding as Hillary looks on all smiles…

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Hillary was going to party that night baby.

arnold ziffel on August 8, 2013 at 9:02 PM

arnold ziffel on August 8, 2013 at 9:02 PM

Good evening, Arnold. :) Do you like my movie?

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 9:04 PM

Why not use the script for Hell to Pay, the book written by Barbara (I can’t think of her last name), who died in one of the planes on 9/11/01?

onlineanalyst on August 8, 2013 at 8:59 PM

Olsen.

AZCoyote on August 8, 2013 at 9:06 PM

Barbara Olson’s book is reviewed at Amazon:

Hell to Pay is yet another book on Hillary Rodham Clinton, this time from a conservative lawyer who served as the Republican chief counsel for the congressional committee investigating the Clintons’ involvement in “Travelgate” and “Filegate.” Barbara Olson traces the now familiar biographies of the president and first lady, contending that Mrs. Clinton is someone with dangerously liberal, even radical, political beliefs who “now seeks to foment revolutionary changes from the uniform of a pink suit.” (Olson plays the theme heavily: each chapter of Hell to Pay begins with quotes from Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, which influenced the young Hillary Rodham.)

There are some interesting new tidbits scattered throughout the book, like the fact that after law school Hillary Rodham tried to become a Marine Corps officer but was turned down; or that she told her high school paper her ambition after high school was “to marry a senator and settle down in Georgetown.”

Olson, attempting to dissect the mystery of the Clinton partnership, writes, “Most self-respecting women would have left” after Clinton’s repeated infidelities. “Hillary chose to stay. She behaves as both a desperate lover, and like a frantic campaign manager protecting a flawed candidate…. Hillary, it seems, long ago accepted Bill Clinton as someone who could advance her goals, as a necessary complement to her intellectual cold-blooded pursuit of power.” As the Clinton presidency draws to a close, that pursuit has taken her beyond the White House toward a bid for her own U.S. Senate seat.

Olson predicts the Senate won’t be enough, just the next step toward becoming the first woman president: “Hillary Clinton seeks nothing less than an office that will give her a platform from which to exercise real power and real world leadership.” While Olson admits that “Bill Clinton has always excited the greatest passion not among his supporters, but among his detractors,” the same could certainly be said of his wife–whose supporters will probably consider Hell to Pay a rehash of a too-familiar story, but whose detractors will no doubt savor every page. –Linda Killian–This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

onlineanalyst on August 8, 2013 at 9:07 PM

Nothing else will resonate like back-to-back historical presidencies, right?

/

VibrioCocci on August 8, 2013 at 9:02 PM

The 2016 campaign in a nutshell.

It is highly likely a majority of the US electorate is either incapable of or will willfully not think beyond that propaganda slogan.

farsighted on August 8, 2013 at 9:09 PM

Take a good long look at that face.

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 8:03 PM

No, thanks. I’ve seen that picture-of-Dorian-Gray mug quite enough since friggin’ 1992.

ddrintn on August 8, 2013 at 9:09 PM

ddrintn on August 8, 2013 at 9:09 PM

; ) I was just noticing the 0 needs a vacation, I actually considered for a moment chipping in on one for him. The extended kind. We could all use a break from it.

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 9:11 PM

That Chris Farley and Sam Kinison have gone to dirt, I’m really reaching for the right actor to play The Hillary. Kathleen Turner, maybe that would work, the years not so kind to her either.

But Diane Lane, please. Not even MU or CGI, on steroids, could make her look like the dumpster in a pantsuit that’s Hillary.

And, if Diane Lane is Hillary, who’s Billy Jeff? Wilford Brimley, slimmed down through CGI?

This IS going to be a nightmare for NBC and CNN.

Popcorn, anyone?

TXUS on August 8, 2013 at 9:16 PM

Nothing else will resonate like back-to-back historical presidencies, right?

/

VibrioCocci on August 8, 2013 at 9:02 PM

Yep, just like Stalin to Krushchev.

Bishop on August 8, 2013 at 9:17 PM

I think Hillary is very impressive and likely to be our next POTUS. But her career to date doesn’t fit the conventional biopic frame AT ALL.

What are you talking about? We just elected a guy – TWICE – on the basis of being told not WHY we should like him, just THAT we should like him.

She’ll fit right in.

Cleombrotus on August 8, 2013 at 9:17 PM

Hillary…the empty pantsuit.

marybel on August 8, 2013 at 9:19 PM

She don’t feels no ways tihred.

trs on August 8, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Good evening, Arnold. :) Do you like my movie?

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 9:04 PM

I like it very much. Just make certain you add a quick early years summary where she didn’t get to be an astronaut, Olympic shot putter, and the USMC said GTFOH.

arnold ziffel on August 8, 2013 at 9:25 PM

I think Hillary is very impressive and likely to be our next POTUS.

Typical squish. The guy snarks about how the only impressive thing about Hillary is her victimhood and then talks about how impressive she is. She’s likely to be the next POTUS because the GOPe tends to listen to the Douthats of the world’s advice on who’s the most “electable” GOP candidate.

ddrintn on August 8, 2013 at 9:25 PM

Personally, I don’t think Hillary Clinton’s the shoo-in so many apparently believe she is. Her popularity tends to evaporate the more people think about her actually running for president. If she runs, I don’t think she’ll make it past the primaries.

ddrintn on August 8, 2013 at 9:32 PM

Hmm… a whole lotta Vaseline smeared over the lens, selective amnesia, a super-tanker load of lies and… secure all the breakables (ashtrays, lamps, etc.).

Did I miss anything?

CPT. Charles on August 8, 2013 at 9:32 PM

You mean you think Hollywood needs facts before they make a Democrat a saint? Who knew?

Fred 2 on August 8, 2013 at 9:33 PM

CPT. Charles on August 8, 2013 at 9:32 PM

The low info movie goer?

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 9:36 PM

arnold ziffel on August 8, 2013 at 9:25 PM

LOL! Good idea!

How about the political marriage of convenience to the draft dodging, dope smoking Billy Jeff Clinton? He was a Rhodes Scholar.. she had the pedigree.

Of course… we can’t leave out White Water… and the Ken Starr investigation. :)

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Which battles did Hillary win?

Uh….she foiled the plans of a handful of snipers in Tuzla?

BobMbx on August 8, 2013 at 9:39 PM

One of Hillary’s biggest problems is the ‘racist’ smear that Obama campaign launched against her via Bill…the progressive base bought it… especially after Ted Kennedy helped sell it… hook, line, and sinker.. and the fact that it was HER campaign that started the whole BIRTHER thing.

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 9:39 PM

This movie will frame the Clintons as Aragorn and Arwen, with the VRWC likened to the Nazgul.

Of course, Rove will show character traits of Sauron.

BobMbx on August 8, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Hillary’s biggest problem is going to be The Mooch. I still am convinced The Mooch is going to run.

SouthernGent on August 8, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Is it Hillary or Diane? I can’t tell.

BobMbx on August 8, 2013 at 9:57 PM

Hillary’s biggest problem is going to be The Mooch. I still am convinced The Mooch is going to run.

SouthernGent on August 8, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Not in 2016, that’s when all hell will have broken loose over Obamacare. But 4 years later, I don’t doubt it all. We have not seen the last of her or her generous derriere.

TXUS on August 8, 2013 at 10:05 PM

ut when you try to telescope the last 20 years into a string of heroic moments that explain how Hillary became Hillary!, what do you come up with?

How about a bunch of lies, fabricated out of thin air and pushed 24/7 by the MSM? It’s worked for the Democrats for the past 20 years or so…stay with what works.

AUINSC on August 8, 2013 at 10:09 PM

Opening shot- slowly come in from 40,000 thousand feet above the White House, zooming in by spiralling downward like a Arkansas tornado-borne farmhouse landing in the Oz of awesome world power, and then, through an open window and across the room to a dining table where there sits– the magically reappeared Rose Law firm billing records.

M240H on August 8, 2013 at 10:32 PM

hag o graphic…I like that

crosshugger on August 8, 2013 at 10:40 PM

It’s like ‘reverse engineering’ Julianne’s Bender, which required that you ignore photographic evidence, public testimony from the aides involved, Beigun, Scheueneman, among others, and plain common sense,

narciso on August 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM

HAG-iography is the only way to describe any televised movie/documentary/miniseries about Hillary.

Bitter Clinger on August 8, 2013 at 10:59 PM

I like it very much. Just make certain you add a quick early years summary where she didn’t get to be an astronaut, Olympic shot putter, and the USMC said GTFOH.

arnold ziffel on August 8, 2013 at 9:25 PM

Don’t forget Mt. Everest…the Hillary name she claimed to have…bad timing…

Schadenfreude on August 8, 2013 at 11:04 PM

Of course… we can’t leave out White Water… and the Ken Starr investigation. :)

thatsafactjack on August 8, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Or Vince Foster and Fort Marcy Park. The list is endless, isn’t it?

Cleombrotus on August 8, 2013 at 11:07 PM

Hil won’t win – and she won’t be the nominee.

Has zero accomplishments – rode completely on Bill’s coattails – is an absolutely terrible campaigner – and for a woman is not nearly photogenic enough to live in our miss America process of selecting a president. Benghazi is hers. Russia is hers. She has no legislation of importance. HilaryCare failed. She is going to be inheriting a terrible economy with a completely chaotic healthcare system her democratic colleague will have helped disrupt.

I am not going to suggest a dem cannot win – they most certainly can – but it won’t be Hilary or Joe. And if Joe wins the primary he will get destroyed by any GOP candidate.

Zomcon JEM on August 8, 2013 at 11:37 PM

How do you make a hagiographic miniseries about Hillary?

Good question. For starters, you don’t worry about trying to stay factual….

There Goes the Neighborhood on August 8, 2013 at 11:48 PM

Her resume’s better than his was because she does, in fact, have lots of experience navigating Congress (dating from her time as Bill’s “co-president”) and she has foreign-policy cred from her time at State, but given the lack of big-ticket achievements, this stuff operates mostly as window dressing for Hillary the Icon.

So, a list of negative achievements beats a record of basically nothing?

Hillary lacks the single most important thing Obama had: the ability to act as a blank screen that everyone projected their own expectations on.

Hillary completely lacks that larger-than-life mythos. The only thing that she has going for her is the perception that “it’s her turn.” I don’t think that means as much to Democrats as it apparently does to Republicans.

At this point, I seriously doubt Hillary wins the Democratic nomination, much less the presidency.

There Goes the Neighborhood on August 8, 2013 at 11:53 PM

I was just noticing the 0 needs a vacation, I actually considered for a moment chipping in on one for him.

Bmore on August 8, 2013 at 9:11 PM

Like you have done for all his vacays?

rwenger43 on August 9, 2013 at 1:17 AM

…Stand by your Man….

Oil Can on August 9, 2013 at 3:14 AM

FADE IN-

EXT. A PODIUM WITH FOUR COFFINS ON A MILITARY AIRFIELD. DAY.

Hillary throws herself across the first coffin, clutching the American flag draped over it in her spasmodic hands as she sobs loudly.

HILLARY
Oh Chris!!! Chris!!! Damn that anti-Muslim video!!! Damn it!!!
(chokes on her grief, the resumes)

We’ll get that trouble-making Islamophobic bigot, I promise you!!!!

FADE TO BLACK-

ROLL TITLES:

“HILLARY~ First Lady of the World”

Stirring pseudo-patriot martial music that quickly morphs to sentimental symphonic pop rock (the melody a clear rip-off of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)”

VOICE OVER
“Hillary” is brought to you by Ben Gay
(beat) When things are strained… we ease the pain.

_________________________________________________________

profitsbeard on August 9, 2013 at 3:37 AM

She has no accomplishments, but by beta maleness finds her impressive!

MNHawk on August 9, 2013 at 5:26 AM

How do you make a successful miniseries about Hillary?
That’s easy; first, I’d turn it over to Disney, have an artist create a replica of her in a sleek black dress (omit the sniper fire bullet holes), give her a magic mirror to talk too, a poisoned apple or two to use as a weapons against her political enemies, and poof–the magic kingdom (we’ll just call it the “village” for simplicity’s sake) becomes the model for all other government run communications from now on.

Don L on August 9, 2013 at 8:36 AM

Well, she did help BHO quite a bit in building up the Progressive version of the national surveillance apparatus.

motionview on August 9, 2013 at 9:58 AM

Darrell Issa needs to get the Bengazi investigation kicked into high gear. Clinton needs to be held responsible, NOT elected President. And I think this country is crazy enough to elect her.

hopeful on August 9, 2013 at 10:24 AM

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