I watched this once and dumped it into the Greenroom as a palate cleanser. Then, after I watched it 27 more times, I realized: This isn’t a mindless diversion. This is news. This is front page.

After 100 years of filmmaking, we’ve reached the summit.

And sincerely, Syfy deserves credit for it. Anyone can make an unwatchably stupid, terrible movie; making a stupid, terrible movie that’s compulsively watchable is sufficiently difficult that I’d say it qualifies as art. This is the apotheosis of schlock. Recognize the divine when you’re in its presence.

Ace and his co-bloggers are going to live-blog it tomorrow at 9 p.m. ET, just like they would a presidential debate. Because it’s an event. It’s news.