Video: Have you prepared yourself spiritually for the glory that is “Sharknado”?

posted at 9:21 pm on July 10, 2013 by Allahpundit

I watched this once and dumped it into the Greenroom as a palate cleanser. Then, after I watched it 27 more times, I realized: This isn’t a mindless diversion. This is news. This is front page.

After 100 years of filmmaking, we’ve reached the summit.

And sincerely, Syfy deserves credit for it. Anyone can make an unwatchably stupid, terrible movie; making a stupid, terrible movie that’s compulsively watchable is sufficiently difficult that I’d say it qualifies as art. This is the apotheosis of schlock. Recognize the divine when you’re in its presence.

Ace and his co-bloggers are going to live-blog it tomorrow at 9 p.m. ET, just like they would a presidential debate. Because it’s an event. It’s news.


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and then “Sharkicane II” with a gay shark with a laser on it’s head. So many possibilities.

Clink on July 11, 2013 at 12:09 AM

Good Lord! I can already hear the background music when the gay shark attacks, “Gotta hit me, hit me, hit me with your laser beaammmmmm.” From the incessantly revolting 80′s band Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Thanks for putting that song back in my head, Clink!

I actually like those cheesy sci-fi movies. It is good escapism. See, back in the day, escapism in regards to movies was accomplished with films like Gone With The Wind or Casablanca. But now, the movies HAVE to be so insane just so you can try to escape for a few moments from the real insanity that is our society and government.

Sterling Holobyte on July 11, 2013 at 1:26 AM

Does this mean “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is no longer the worst movie in history?

ScottiesRule on July 11, 2013 at 1:53 AM

ScottiesRule. Dude. NObody could top the sheer audacity of Ed Wood’s dreckiness. I prefer ‘Glen or Glenda’ myself, not least because of drug-addled Bela Lugosi raving, “Bevare…bevare! Bevare of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys…puppy dog tails, and big, fat snails. Bevare, take care….BEVARE!”

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on July 11, 2013 at 2:23 AM

If Sharknado is in 3-D I’m there.

jaime on July 11, 2013 at 2:45 AM

I’ll wait for the 3:40 extended director’s cut on blu-ray, with the deleted scenes and behind the scenes extras…

PointnClick on July 11, 2013 at 3:25 AM

Outstanding Sharknado Trailer review from Time Magazine:

here are the 64 best seconds of the 64-second-long trailer.

#1 and #2: 0:50-0:51. Holy cow. These two seconds defy description.

#3: 0:31. Sharks in the sky.

#4: 0:46. So many sharks!

#5: 0:47. Obligatory Jaws joke.

#6: 0:17. Sharks through the window.

#7: 0:08. The sharks are coming!

#8: 0:05. Excellent explanation of how the sharks got there.

#9 and #10: 0:18-0:19. A wave of sharks.

#11: 0:35. What happens when sharks fly.

#12: 0:33. What happens when a shark tries to climb up a wall (maybe).

#13 through #15: 0:36-0:38. What happens when it rains sharks.

#16: 1:03. What happens when sharks fly at someone screaming.

#17: 0:48. More shark.

#18: 0:41. Watch out for falling sharks!

#19 and #20: 0:11-0:12. Something’s flooding…

#21: 0:06. This has never happened before.

#22: 0:21. There is a shark in the street.

#23: 0:32. When you shoot sharks, they blow up.

#24: 0:10. Oh hey, Tara Reid’s in this!

#25: 0:27. A shark; some screaming.

#26, #27, #28: 0:43-0:45. This is a genius plan, but it’s dangerous.

#29 and #30: 0:39-0:40. Grab something; it’s a chainsaw.

#31: 0:49. Look out!

#32: 0:28. Is the shark coming from inside the house?

#33, #34, #35: 0:22 and 0:34 and 0:52. Time to do something about the sharks!

#36: 0:07. Looking out a window.

#37, #38, #39: 0:02-0:04. It’s very confusing the first time you see a sharknado.

#40. 0:14. You should go home when the sharknado starts.

#41. 0:15. Or not.

#42 through #45: 0:23-0:26. Weapons.

#46: 0:42. Walking with shopping carts.

#47 through #51: 0:13, 0:16, 0:20, 0:29-0:30. Extreme weather.

#53 through #59: 0:53-0:56, 1:00-1:02. Destruction caused by the sharknado.

#60, #61, #62: 0:59, 0:58, 0:57, in that order. What happens when there’s a sharknado near the title of your movie.

#62: 0:09. A phone rings.

#63: 0:01. A dock.

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on July 11, 2013 at 4:21 AM

Wow, talk about jumping the shark!

kregg on July 11, 2013 at 5:37 AM

i wish i had those 1min and 6 seconds back but, heck, it is news…./

ted c on July 11, 2013 at 6:35 AM

Does this mean “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is no longer the worst movie in history?

ScottiesRule on July 11, 2013 at 1:53 AM

ScottiesRule. Dude. NObody could top the sheer audacity of Ed Wood’s dreckiness. I prefer ‘Glen or Glenda’ myself, not least because of drug-addled Bela Lugosi raving, “Bevare…bevare! Bevare of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys…puppy dog tails, and big, fat snails. Bevare, take care….BEVARE!”

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on July 11, 2013 at 2:23 AM

Ed Wood’s opus (opi?) were never really the worst. Hands down, that dubious honor belongs to Robot Monster (1953);

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robot_Monster

It makes Plan 9 look like Olivier’s Henry V Part II by comparison.

cheers

eon

eon on July 11, 2013 at 7:34 AM

A moose once bit my sister.

onomo on July 11, 2013 at 7:36 AM

“I just can’t sit back and watch this”

Never were truer words included in a movie trailer!

Happy Nomad on July 11, 2013 at 7:37 AM

How in the world did these guys manage to make a Roger Corman movie without Roger Corman?!?

The Schaef on July 11, 2013 at 7:44 AM

I haven’t even seen this movie yet and I can’t wait for the sequel!

tommyboy on July 11, 2013 at 8:10 AM

What actor in their right mind would want a film like this on their resume?

pilamaye on July 11, 2013 at 8:21 AM

I thought nothing could beat Mansquito

Sekhmet on July 11, 2013 at 8:21 AM

This looks way better than SyFy’s last effort, “Sharktopus”.

MikeinPRCA on July 11, 2013 at 8:29 AM

A moose once bit my sister.

onomo on July 11, 2013 at 7:36 AM

Was the moose hurt? :)

OldEnglish on July 11, 2013 at 8:57 AM

Wow! The zombie apocalypse, only with fish. Coooool.

yesiamapirate on July 11, 2013 at 1:25 AM

Wow, Zombie Sharks might make for a watchable movie.

Why is it that Humans always become zombies and not preditory animals? Although “I Am Legend” did have Zombie Dogs.

AverageJoe on July 11, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Thank you. That was a refreshing break from coverage of the Zimmerman trial.

morganfrost on July 11, 2013 at 9:31 AM

Coming up: “A rolling wave of killer rodents, it’s Tsunamice.”

tommyboy on July 11, 2013 at 9:35 AM

War of the Worlds 2005 version
Sacramento on July 10, 2013 at 10:01 PM

I liked it. It followed the book pretty good as did Asylum’s version of “War of the Worlds”. At least Asylum’s version had the gas attacks which I don’t think any other movie had.

Dr. Frank Enstine on July 11, 2013 at 9:35 AM

Coming up: “A rolling wave of killer rodents, it’s Tsunamice.”
tommyboy on July 11, 2013 at 9:35 AM

“Attack of the Killer Shrews” saw it as a kid and was suitability afraid of giant shrews after that.

Dr. Frank Enstine on July 11, 2013 at 9:38 AM

To a looong ago post, he was referring to the SyFy channel Battle LA (or similar, can’t remember exactly) not the otherwise pretty awesome Battle: Los Angeles that came out in theaters.

WRT the 2005 War of the Worlds, yeah points for following the book(seriously), but man that was a bad movie.

WitchDoctor on July 11, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I still think Chupacabra vs. the Alamo wins. Erik Estrada for the win…

hungrymongo on July 11, 2013 at 10:07 AM

These movies are what all the profits from Stargate went into?

Didn’t NBC purchase the Syfy channel. Global warming causes sharknados.

TerryW on July 11, 2013 at 10:08 AM

Straight to Netflix.

Sometimes I kill a little time by watching some of the Z-grade “disaster movies” on Netflix. I saw this one the other day where Michael Shanks (Daniel Jackson in Stargate) was saving the world from massive gouts of cold air leaking down from the mesosphere due to pollution in the atmosphere. It was sweeping across the land in giant frost plumes that froze everyone in its path. In this particular bit of levity, the cold air was destroying Australia, where Shanks just happened to be with his American wife and daughter who accidentally kept letting their Aussie accents slip in.

All I can say is, there must be some really good film tax credits Down Under.

JoseQuinones on July 11, 2013 at 10:28 AM

Will this be a TV series?

stillings on July 11, 2013 at 10:40 AM

Had to look. Tonight, 9:00 PM EST.

I think I’m cleaning the barbeque, or something then.

TerryW on July 11, 2013 at 10:47 AM

It’s as plausible as anything Erika’s written.

lexhamfox on July 10, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Huh? What does this have to do with Erika? Does she write movie scripts? This isn’t even one of her posts.

I know I shouldn’t feed the trolls but I’m just trying to understand. Was this supposed to be some kind of snark? Sarcasm doesn’t really work that way. It just feels like you brought something totally unrelated and out of place into the discussion. It would be like if we were having a discussion on tornadoes in the Midwest and you came in posting about something totally off topic, like shark attacks. Hmmm….

RINO in Name Only on July 11, 2013 at 10:59 AM

Huh? What does this have to do with Erika? Does she write movie scripts? This isn’t even one of her posts.

I know I shouldn’t feed the trolls but I’m just trying to understand. Was this supposed to be some kind of snark? Sarcasm doesn’t really work that way. It just feels like you brought something totally unrelated and out of place into the discussion. It would be like if we were having a discussion on tornadoes in the Midwest and you came in posting about something totally off topic, like shark attacks. Hmmm….

RINO in Name Only on July 11, 2013 at 10:59 AM

Sometimes I regret there are no “like” buttons on this site.

WitchDoctor on July 11, 2013 at 11:13 AM

Why isn’t Henry Winkler in this movie?

HiJack on July 11, 2013 at 11:24 AM

It looks like this is Shark Day today on the Syfy channel. All sorts of shark movies. I’m setting my dvr!

HiJack on July 11, 2013 at 11:27 AM

I love this review.

Here’s the money quote:

“Sharknado” is a ridiculous nature run amok film, and one that proves The Asylum is getting more creative with every passing movie. I look forward to “Squidnami” and “Piranhavolcano.”

Chris of Rights on July 11, 2013 at 12:43 PM

Wow..A lock for two Oscars. One for best sound effects in a pretentious preachy documentary and one for editing while under the influence of Serotonin Enhancing Psychotropic Pharmaceuticals.

I can’t stop laughing!!!

ursa5000 on July 11, 2013 at 12:45 PM

I might read the live blog, I wouldn’t watch that on a bet. I even recognized some of the actors, I assume they came out as Republicans and this is the best they can get anymore.

Cindy Munford on July 10, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Threadwinner.

Chris of Rights on July 11, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Had to look. Tonight, 9:00 PM EST.

I think I’m cleaning the barbeque, or something then.

TerryW on July 11, 2013 at 10:47 AM

Not me! I’m setting the DVR! I’m going to watch this masterpiece over and over again! at least once.

I mean, did you see the skill that guy used to cock his shotgun! Joe Bidenesque!

kirkill on July 11, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Can’t wait for the Oscarflood next year for this!

kirkill on July 11, 2013 at 1:36 PM

RINO in Name Only on July 11, 2013 at 10:59 AM

You have to excuse LHF, that was pretty much the premiere shot from her arsenal. Relevance, association, and valid rhetoric is simply asking too much.

Freelancer on July 11, 2013 at 3:15 PM

Does this mean “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is no longer the worst movie in history?

ScottiesRule on July 11, 2013 at 1:53 AM

No, Manos: The Hands of Fate is the worst movie ever. :)

Theophile on July 11, 2013 at 5:37 PM

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