Heart Ache. Chavez can’t be permanently embalmed and displayed

posted at 5:01 pm on March 17, 2013 by Jazz Shaw

This will probably come as a crushing blow to Chris Hayes, (the legacy of Hugo Chavez is “complicated” donchaknow…) but it seems that the dictator may miss out on his chance to become a permanent national monument in corpse form. It turns out that the process to permanently embalm and display the now room temperature leader would take a bit more work than can be managed.

Venezuela’s information minister says the government has decided that the body of Hugo Chavez will not be embalmed for permanent display, as officials had said it would be.

Ernesto Villegas’ tweet Friday night says the government has discarded the option based on the advice of a Russian medical commission.

The message says the commission had said Chavez’s body would have to be sent to Russia for seven to eight months to be properly embalmed.

Well, this is about the most distressing news to come out since the Girls Gone Wild team had to file for bankruptcy. Without having the Chavez corpse to visit and look at, Venezuela may have to put in a socialist version of Disneyland or something. ( The It’s a Small World ride should be a real hoot.) But I suppose I can see why they went to the Russians to make the decision. I mean, they’ve got all of that experience with, er…

LeninTomb

Anyway, I know you’re all totally interested in all of the science involved here, so let’s go to the video. Then you can debate the political and mortuary ramifications of… Naw. Just kidding. Let’s go with the Girls Gone Wild bankruptcy story. It’s probably more relevant anyway.


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Okay, ick.

Fallon on March 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Lenin had less body mass than Hugo, which made embalming easier. If only Hugo ate a salad once in his life, this never would have happened.

Myron Falwell on March 17, 2013 at 5:04 PM

He wasn’t seen in public for months, so we don’t know how long he’s been dead.

rbj on March 17, 2013 at 5:05 PM

I hope the ants began eating him, alive.

May they do the same with all who supported/support Chavezes of the world.

Schadenfreude on March 17, 2013 at 5:05 PM

Well it appears the little worm went straight to getten his smellen sulfur so the body is rotting?

One might wonder, how long had chavez been dead for this to happen? You don’t get the truth of deaths of dictators?
L

letget on March 17, 2013 at 5:06 PM

Paging Sean Penn.

Electrongod on March 17, 2013 at 5:06 PM

Get Madam Tussauds to make a replica.

DaveDief on March 17, 2013 at 5:07 PM

IIRC there was a great deal of fakery involved with the Lenin and Stalin corpses all along anyway, they were not “all there,” so to speak.

Given the Chavez takeover of the military, judiciary, and media, the decay and corruption he brought to Venezuela, which should be one of the bright stars of South America, will be difficult to cleanse.

Adjoran on March 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM

It’s funny that you mention GGW. I was doing the math a few years back and since the porn industry is only 10bil a year (it might be more today), and they were claiming that they were losing 2bil a year, there should be more studios filing for bankruptcy. Goes to show the insanity of the copyright lobby.

nobar on March 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM

His portrait on T-shirts will last for eternity among the left anyhow.

fourdeucer on March 17, 2013 at 5:12 PM

So even amateur pr0n can’t survive the Obama economy.

mudskipper on March 17, 2013 at 5:12 PM

Get Madam Tussauds to make a replica.

DaveDief on March 17, 2013 at 5:07 PM

Dang. Beat me to it.

Of course, they could just stick him in a big jar of Formaldhyde like those aliens in ‘Independence Day’.

That would be charming.

trigon on March 17, 2013 at 5:13 PM

Horrible news…..no not about the dead dictator’s worthless carcass not being on permanent display, but Girls Gone Wild bankrupt? The horrors, the horrors. What will we men do late at night when our wives are out of town? This is worse than a Kardashian wedding or divorce. LOL

simkeith on March 17, 2013 at 5:14 PM

Meh.

RealMc on March 17, 2013 at 5:16 PM

So even amateur pr0n can’t survive the Obama economy.

mudskipper on March 17, 2013 at 5:12 PM

Not when the WH is flucking the nation.

Electrongod on March 17, 2013 at 5:17 PM

Well that stinks BWHAHAHAHAHAHA !

stormridercx4 on March 17, 2013 at 5:19 PM

So, from this we can assume we have evidence that socialists, not just socialism, are rotten to the core?

Maybe they could embalm him permanently if they just taxed the rich more. It works for all other ills, doesn’t it?

Wino on March 17, 2013 at 5:21 PM

Lord only knows how long Oogie has been dead. Well, Satan knows too because Oogie moved in.

Philly on March 17, 2013 at 5:21 PM

It’s expensive to do and expensive to maintain. However, since he embezzled billions of dollars, his family sure could afford it.

Blake on March 17, 2013 at 5:22 PM

I’m surprised that Michael Jackson didn’t try this. Since he kicked the bucket, his estate has made $400 million bucks. Can you imagine how much more if they had a body to flash around?

Blake on March 17, 2013 at 5:24 PM

Take his body to the local taxidermist who will treat it with much more respect than it deserves.

meci on March 17, 2013 at 5:26 PM

They don’t need a shire to go to when everyone will have on their wall a Cross, picture of Mary or other saint and a then a picture of Hugo. All which they pray to every day.

tjexcite on March 17, 2013 at 5:27 PM

Stinky…!

Seven Percent Solution on March 17, 2013 at 5:27 PM

OK, I’m sure it’s bad, but it can’t be Andrea Mitchell-bad.

SickofLibs on March 17, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Chavez is still dead.

docflash on March 17, 2013 at 5:32 PM

This is a good sign.

workingclass artist on March 17, 2013 at 5:40 PM

Somewhere, Sean Penn is beside himself with grief……..about Hugo’s body……………AND the Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy.

pilamaye on March 17, 2013 at 5:40 PM

Heh, GGW! I wonder how many times some dad popped a dvd into the old machine only to see his precious little angel whipping off her top when he thought she was off at college studying for her exams?

redshirt on March 17, 2013 at 5:41 PM

They cannot display him in Venezuela because he’s not there!

Breaking News! First Photo Of Hugo Chavez’s Dead Body Released!

Resist We Much on March 17, 2013 at 5:41 PM

Has anyone checked for a white phosphorus or sulphur smell near the body?

IlikedAUH2O on March 17, 2013 at 5:42 PM

Hey, Joe Francis!

It may be a good idea for you to watch the movie “Casino”.

And then you may want to make it a point to steer clear of Indiana cornfields for a while.

pilamaye on March 17, 2013 at 5:46 PM

Obama is frantically putting together a commission to ensure that when his time comes he will not suffer the same indignity.

portlandon on March 17, 2013 at 5:47 PM

Garsh, I’m crushed. There go my vacation plans! LMBO

GeeWhiz on March 17, 2013 at 5:49 PM

I’m surprised that Michael Jackson didn’t try this. Since he kicked the bucket, his estate has made $400 million bucks. Can you imagine how much more if they had a body to flash around?

Blake on March 17, 2013 at 5:24 PM

I think the reason why that didn’t happen was because they couldn’t decide which nose to use.

Myron Falwell on March 17, 2013 at 5:52 PM

Obama is frantically putting together a commission to ensure that when his time comes he will not suffer the same indignity.

portlandon on March 17, 2013 at 5:47 PM

The tomb of the Unvetted President.

Electrongod on March 17, 2013 at 6:04 PM

He won’t decompose. Worms and bacteria have SOME standards of what they are willing to eat.

michaelo on March 17, 2013 at 6:11 PM

Closer truth is probably that the current ruling group doesn’t want an “Inconvenient Corpse” lying around.

GarandFan on March 17, 2013 at 6:12 PM

Seems our boy Hugo had a “hot shot” while getting much needed med attention in Havana.The Cubans kinda mixed in a little anti-freeze in his chemo to save some bucks and Hugo had a bit of a reaction. Apparently radiator fluid and embalming juice don’t mix too well. So the Venes will just have to savor the memories of a once great dictator who bled them dry.

rodguy911 on March 17, 2013 at 6:13 PM

Maggot brain looks pretty good to me. ; )

Bmore on March 17, 2013 at 6:15 PM

The tomb of the Unvetted President.

Electrongod on March 17, 2013 at 6:04 PM

Heh.

BallisticBob on March 17, 2013 at 6:17 PM

If they were going to do that whole “permanent display” thing, they would have needed to act pretty fast after his death. This just reinforces my suspicion that Hugo assumed room temperature days or weeks before they announced his death, which… coincidentally, supposedly occurred on the 60th anniversary of Stalin’s death.

What’s the deal anyway with leftists venerating the corpses of their dead leaders?

Wendya on March 17, 2013 at 6:18 PM

Since he is burning in hell I don’t care how long his body lasts!

redware on March 17, 2013 at 6:23 PM

What’s the deal anyway with leftists venerating the corpses of their dead leaders?

Wendya on March 17, 2013 at 6:18 PM

Necrophilia.

[Or maybe they just want to be sure he stays dead.]

Solaratov on March 17, 2013 at 6:25 PM

Josie,the sage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML6oLuLecQ4

docflash on March 17, 2013 at 6:25 PM

Resist We Much on March 17, 2013 at 5:41 PM

Good one! Thanks for the laugh!

NavyMustang on March 17, 2013 at 6:41 PM

Did anyone else notice that little streak of black rot on his left cheek? Wouldn’t it be hilarious if he just exploded while lying in state?

NavyMustang on March 17, 2013 at 6:41 PM

Can’t do this to Michael Jackson, as his body has been melted down and turned into Legos, all so kids can play with him for a change.

RationalIcthus on March 17, 2013 at 7:06 PM

Further proof of how materialistic and deranged leftism truly is. How much you wanna bet the left seeks to do the same once Obama kicks the bucket?

jawkneemusic on March 17, 2013 at 7:13 PM

Not enough stuffing in the world, I guess.

squint on March 17, 2013 at 7:15 PM

I did a tour of the Soviet Union in 1976, visited the mausoleum, and got a 20-second moving look at the corpse. We weren’t allowed to stop and stare.

What I remember noticing, still apparent in the Hotair picture, is how curiously shriveled the ears were in comparison with the rest of the remains. It seems to me if it was a complete fake they would have done the ears better.

I suspect the only body parts of Lenin that have been truly preserved are the visible ones, the hands and head.

John Reece

kd6rxl on March 17, 2013 at 7:18 PM

Given that Chavez’s body had been decomposing for years before he died, this does not surprise me.

Mr. Arkadin on March 17, 2013 at 7:20 PM

Give the corpse an enema and the leftovers could be displayed in a shoebox; seems simple to me.

Bishop on March 17, 2013 at 7:36 PM

Heart Break!

Mr. Joe on March 17, 2013 at 7:52 PM

2 billion in ill gotten gains didn’t you much, just dead.

That 2bl would have done a lot for all those little people Hugo used to gain political power, gee I guess even the best of intentions just isn’t something you can shine you light with 100% of the time, you just have to break bad some time, 2bl worth.

I wonder how much Stalin had amassed, when he died.

No escape. Do good and enjoy life every day.

Speakup on March 17, 2013 at 7:54 PM

He can be stuffed. Not that he wasn’t “full of it” already.

viking01 on March 17, 2013 at 8:00 PM

If he’s so great how come he’s dead?

Gatsu on March 17, 2013 at 8:25 PM

His parrot, however, is as healthy as can be and will probably outlast the next three dictators.

profitsbeard on March 17, 2013 at 8:33 PM

…now JugEars is going to want to get one of them there things… to sleep in!

KOOLAID2 on March 17, 2013 at 9:19 PM

Thinking about Chavez lagacy, there really isn’t much beyond his incitement of Iranian interference in South America and his own role in trying to undermine the government of Honduras (with help from Hillary). The country he led is a minor producer of low-quality oil, and he nationalized that industry. He hoped to get help from Cuba and its leaders but they were more decrepit than him.
He was an admirer of Barack Obama. He will be missed by a small number of celebrities.

virgo on March 17, 2013 at 9:19 PM

He probably died months ago.

So yeah, the body isn’t in the best shape by now.

Moesart on March 17, 2013 at 9:59 PM

Should have hired some ancient Egyptian embalmers for the job.

Then again that jungle humidity might have been a challenge even for them….

Sherman1864 on March 17, 2013 at 10:00 PM

The humidity must have dampened their enthusiasm??

Sherman1864 on March 17, 2013 at 10:01 PM

He won’t decompose. Worms and bacteria have SOME standards of what they are willing to eat.
michaelo on March 17, 2013 at 6:11 PM

This is a very good point my learned friend!

Sherman1864 on March 17, 2013 at 10:02 PM

They should put him on display as a tribute to the great socialist healthcare in Cuba!!

Viva CastroCare!!………coming soon to the Great Satan of the Americas!!!

Same healthcare results, different dear leaders name at the front end of it.

PappyD61 on March 17, 2013 at 10:02 PM

I think the reason why that didn’t happen was because they couldn’t decide which nose to use.

Myron Falwell on March 17, 2013 at 5:52 PM

Yah, I’ve heard something about the ‘Mr. Potato Head Effect’.

BillH on March 17, 2013 at 10:26 PM

The Ru$$ians cost too much?

unclesmrgol on March 17, 2013 at 10:56 PM

Why can’t they pickle him?

Shy Guy on March 17, 2013 at 11:45 PM

They should put him on display as a tribute to the great socialist healthcare in Cuba!!

Viva CastroCare!!………coming soon to the Great Satan of the Americas!!!

Same healthcare results, different dear leaders name at the front end of it.

PappyD61 on March 17, 2013 at 10:02 PM

.
That’s a GREAT idea, but I doubt the House Republicans will use it.

Damn shame, too.

listens2glenn on March 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM

Why can’t they pickle him?

Shy Guy on March 17, 2013 at 11:45 PM

.
Hmmmmm ….. thread winner ?

listens2glenn on March 17, 2013 at 11:51 PM

How about freeze-drying him. Kind of an offset of the burning he is enduring now.

joelj31 on March 18, 2013 at 12:46 AM

I love you guys. :P

I seriously wonder if the reason for this is that he’d been dead longer than what the officials publicly stated.

Othniel on March 18, 2013 at 2:48 AM

Freeze dry him and put him in plastic!

One good, hard knock on the plastic will turn him to dust… so he should last FOREVER as his followers will ALWAYS protect him from a slight knock… right?

ajacksonian on March 18, 2013 at 7:15 AM

Adios mejillas regordetas

bbordwell on March 18, 2013 at 1:01 PM

In this era of Green Energy I hate to see the waste of a permanent embalming when a rotting Chavez can make your garden grow nearly as effectively as pig feces.

MaiDee on March 18, 2013 at 1:24 PM