Brace yourselves: D.C. poised to torture rest of country whining over clumsily named snowstorm

posted at 10:21 pm on March 5, 2013 by Mary Katharine Ham

Are you ready for this one?

It’s predicted to snow maybe 5-8 inches in the capital tonight and tomorrow morning, and there’s a movement afoot to call if Snowquester. God, this place is the worst.

I wonder how many White House tours will be canceled in the face of this shocking amount of precipitation. Maybe it’ll be enough that we can save that money and transfer it to March, when the president’s specially designed Sequester Spite Cuts set in. Last time we had a crappily named snowstorm in the nation’s capital— Snowmageddon—the District of Columbia was effectively crippled for a week. And, yet, I seem to remember the rest of the country getting along pretty swimmingly during that time. Do you even remember when that snowstorm was? Did you feel a disturbance in the Force in December of 2009 and February of 2010? Probably not.

Sequester is the end of the world, but the heinously named Snowquester could shut down the federal government for a week, and the Washington Post will just run fun feature photos of lobbyists cross-country skiing on the Mall.

Snowquester is already leaving us unprepared for possible asteroid threats! (Update: Replaced the below Twitter link with one that works.)

Anyway, I warn you now, so you can prepare. Just as residents of the D.C. area empty the Trader Joe’s of staples like roasted red pepper hummus and kale, you must brace yourselves to be subjected to the melodramatic tweets and complaints of those who live in the seat of power.

But perhaps it will be a comfort unto you that those who dwell in D.C., capriciously wielding power far beyond their skills, by turns impotent and destructive but rarely helpful…they have a power company that does the same thing.

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

It’s predicted to snow maybe 5-8 inches in the capital tonight and tomorrow morning, and there’s a movement afoot to call if Snowquester
=====================================================================

How about:

SnowBoned!!

canopfor on March 5, 2013 at 10:27 PM

In the high 50′s here in Boise, ID..

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:27 PM

I’m not saying for libs to move to Boise..

We have enough already..

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:28 PM

It was 84 degrees outside yesterday in Dallas.

vegconservative on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

In the high 50′s here in Boise, ID..

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:27 PM

.
Grumble . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

It was 84 degrees outside yesterday in Dallas.

vegconservative on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

.
That’s too warm ….. you can keep that.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM

Snowquester

Buttquester

KOOLAID2 on March 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM

Grumble . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

Climate Change is a wonderful thing.

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:32 PM

Buttquester

KOOLAID2 on March 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM

The Feds..

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:36 PM

It was 84 degrees outside yesterday in Dallas.

vegconservative on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

.
That’s too warm ….. you can keep that.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM

.
I should have asked, what is the dew-point there?

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:36 PM

Can you imagine how tense the whole nation will become as this news gets out?

So of us ..er them…inside the beltway may be unable to help with all the difficult challenges the nation faces every day. And, there may be injuries or deaths if the storm is bad enough and no hospitals and doctors or even ambulances with the sequester ongoing.

The citizens of the US will weep like the North Koreans and Venezuelans did when the maximum leaders passed into their everlasting glory.

Well, they can assuage their anxiety knowing that they have just under four years of President Obama’s Messianic and complete love and dedication left.

Love is what makes a leader a leader.

IlikedAUH2O on March 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:28 PM

Love Boise! College roommate from Boise.
I miss the west…

bluealice on March 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Ken!

KCB on March 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

It was 84 degrees outside yesterday in Dallas.

vegconservative on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

Somebody call former Vice President Gore, quick!

IlikedAUH2O on March 5, 2013 at 10:40 PM

Snowquester is serendipitous icing on the cake of mockery.

INC on March 5, 2013 at 10:41 PM

But perhaps it will be a comfort unto you that those who dwell in D.C., capriciously wielding power far beyond their skills, by turns impotent and destructive but rarely helpful…they have a power company that does the same thing.

reminds me of that short a$$ mayor of yours, Allah….. The fella that can’t plow snow but he can sure the hell plow salt and take your soda.

ted c on March 5, 2013 at 10:42 PM

Well, I guess when the press has nothing to report at all on this unbelievably intact economy, and perfect country, they have to resort to naming storms.

shar61 on March 5, 2013 at 10:42 PM

Radar animation as winter storm gradually shifts out of heart of MidWest into MidAtlantic – @weatherchannel

1 min ago from images.intellicast.com by editor
===================================================

1st band of precipitation is moving into Washington, DC, area from major winter storm – @capitalweather

4 mins ago by editor
========================

http://www.breakingnews.com/

canopfor on March 5, 2013 at 10:43 PM

It`s snow, people. Grab a shovel and have it it.

ThePrez on March 5, 2013 at 10:44 PM

The emasculation and infantilization of America proceeds, led by the nation’s so-called “capital” — what an ironic twist of a term …

ShainS on March 5, 2013 at 10:44 PM

Oh Blow
It’s Snow
I Know

Say What
Too Hot
Lets Trot

It’s Frost
Get Lost
Be Bossed

Cool Shade
Sweet Made
Lemon Aid

Sky Blue
Stay True
Cats’ Mew

Daft Words
It’s Curds
Silly Birds

Cupid Rhyme
Soon Time
Green Lime

Don’t Bend
My Friend
The End!

Scrumpy on March 5, 2013 at 10:45 PM

Somewhere in DC, there has to be a Climate Change meeting planned for tomorrow.
There is no other reason for it to snow there except for us to laugh.

Jabberwock on March 5, 2013 at 10:46 PM

Scrumpy on March 5, 2013 at 10:45 PM

.
What the hang is that ?

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

Seriously – we just got 9 inches today and the streets are already cleared off.

gophergirl on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

How much snow does it take to close D.C. down. I want twice that amount for the fine folks inside the beltway. ; ) Get out now Mary Katharine. ; )

Bmore on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

A nonsense poem, my first!!

Delightful isn’t it ;-)

Scrumpy on March 5, 2013 at 10:48 PM

It`s snow, people. Grab a shovel and have it it.

ThePrez on March 5, 2013 at 10:44 PM

All shovels in Washington are already accounted for and in use daily.

can_con on March 5, 2013 at 10:48 PM

Wimps.

conservative pilgrim on March 5, 2013 at 10:49 PM

We have nine inches so far, and it is still snowing in the south suburbs of Chicago.

I LOVE THIS WEATHER!

herm2416 on March 5, 2013 at 10:49 PM

Seriously – we just got 9 inches today and the streets are already cleared off.

gophergirl on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

.
Minnesotans laugh at nine inches of snow.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:49 PM

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

.
A nonsense poem, my first!!

Delightful isn’t it ;-)

Scrumpy on March 5, 2013 at 10:48 PM

.
You resolved my “puzzle”, and I thank you.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:51 PM

.
Minnesotans laugh at nine inches of snow.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:49 PM

Yep pretty much.

gophergirl on March 5, 2013 at 10:51 PM

Sequester is the end of the world, but the heinously named Snowquester could shut down the federal government for a week

Snow quester will shut down the federal govt for a couple of days if it is bad as they say, but since this is a weather event it is excused leave and people will still be paid.

MKH needs to visit opm.gov to get a better understanding of a day off vs leave vs excused absence etc.

Personally I am in the process of rebuilding the carb on my snowblower, if some snow hits this area the government will shutdown where NE states will just brush this off as nothing.

F15Mech on March 5, 2013 at 10:53 PM

Heh — This is the storm that just left us. I haven’t left the house all day (delightful day!) — worked from home instead. But one day does not a week make.

lizzieillinois on March 5, 2013 at 10:54 PM

What about you, Mary ?

Are you going to be okay ?
.
Maybe you’re not as close to DC as I thought.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 10:54 PM

Remember….in liberal land…all this snow is proof the world is getting hotter…..
………….reminds me of slow Joe’s famous economic conclusion…..”we have to spend money to save money”.

You just can’t make this sh!t up.

Baxter Greene on March 5, 2013 at 10:55 PM

Seriously – we just got 9 inches today and the streets are already cleared off.

gophergirl on March 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

Lucky you! If we got nine inches around here, the streets would be cleared too.

…oh, that’s not what you meant.

Laura in Maryland on March 5, 2013 at 11:00 PM

Just as residents of the D.C. area empty the Trader Joe’s of staples like roasted red pepper hummus and kale…

.
Kale is a Trader Joe’s item, treated like an exotic, pricey food? LOL LOL LOL

ExpressoBold on March 5, 2013 at 11:05 PM

Love is what makes a leader a leader.

IlikedAUH2O on March 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

That’s beautiful Goldwater. Who doesn’t like a happy ending?

DanMan on March 5, 2013 at 11:06 PM

I’m not saying for libs to move to Boise..

We have enough already..

Electrongod on March 5, 2013 at 10:28 PM

Don’t worry, I interviewed for a job in the Spokane area once. That was as close to Idaho as this conservative would consider.

KW64 on March 5, 2013 at 11:08 PM

Normally I would lambaste the DC crowd for Fear Mongering over this storm but any even semi-serious weather fan in New England knows that March Snowstorms are legendary.

Del Dolemonte on March 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM

Somewhere in DC, there has to be a Climate Change meeting planned for tomorrow.

Jabberwock on March 5, 2013 at 10:46 PM

Anyone know where Al Gore is?

malclave on March 5, 2013 at 11:30 PM

It would be quite fitting if it now didn’t snow at all… which seems likely from the view here in Richmond.

MT on March 5, 2013 at 11:31 PM

Let it snow! If we’re really lucky, it will be 12 feet deep and we won’t hear from anyone until July.

GarandFan on March 5, 2013 at 11:39 PM

Outside of DC…

Wooden deck covered, grass just about covered, driveway just starting to cover, streets still clear but not far behind my driveway.

F15Mech on March 5, 2013 at 11:44 PM

Five to eight inches really isn’t that much. I’m in NoVa right across the river from DC, and several years ago we got like three feet. Then four days later we got another three. Even that wasn’t that big a deal. I’m still a bit skeptical though. Today it was like Spring outside, barely a cloud in the sky, and there’s still no sign of anything yet at the moment. Snow would have to call for a pretty sudden and radical change of weather.

Guess I should have bought more beer though, just in case. I may have to grab my “assault weapon” and use it to steal the beer of others.

WhatSlushfund on March 5, 2013 at 11:45 PM

I won’t have any sympathy for DC even when it’s reduced to ruins.

wildcat72 on March 5, 2013 at 11:53 PM

Today it was like Spring outside, barely a cloud in the sky, and there’s still no sign of anything yet at the moment. Snow would have to call for a pretty sudden and radical change of weather.

WhatSlushfund on March 5, 2013 at 11:45 PM

.
This is not to cause a panic; I’m simply pointing out that the day before the March ’93 blizzard was very much like today.

listens2glenn on March 5, 2013 at 11:55 PM

It was around 60 in Lubbock.
As a former Chicagoan might I say…blizzard-schmizzard.

annoyinglittletwerp on March 6, 2013 at 12:20 AM

‘Tis the great Buttquester of 2013! Political leaders are seen blowing flakes out of thier arses!
OH THE HUMANITY!

Got 8″ north of the city, barely slowed us down.

I’m sick of the snow…Texas is looking better and better :)

ChicagoBlues on March 6, 2013 at 12:38 AM

Unless this snowstorm reduces the deficit, I’ll stick with the non-weather-related sequester, thank you very much.

Mr. Prodigy on March 6, 2013 at 12:43 AM

6-8 inches, eh?

Meh. Just another day here in Maine.

Bunch a lightweights, they are. :)

TKindred on March 6, 2013 at 3:20 AM

It was 84 degrees outside yesterday in Dallas.

vegconservative on March 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

Same here in Manila. It did manage to drop into the ’70s a few weeks back and we were _freezing_. Actually had to sleep with a top sheet, it was so cold.

Timothy S. Carlson on March 6, 2013 at 4:22 AM

At 7:00 last night, with not even a flake of snow in the air yet, Washington area drivers were piddling along at 15 mph under the speed limit, as if we already had 6 or 7 inches of snow on the roads. Morons.

And yes, PEPCO sucks.

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on March 6, 2013 at 6:45 AM

I’d rather have the 84F of Dallas (even with a 70F dew point!) than the cold and snow — but I also have a Buffalo-quality Toro snow thrower that’ll remove a foot of snow like a Democrat can kick a can down the street into the next election cycle.

Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel, or something like that.

JamesS on March 6, 2013 at 7:09 AM

It was pretty smart of e libs to rename “Global Warming” to “Climate Change, ’cause now they can use it for political points no matter what the weather is doing.

MikeA on March 6, 2013 at 7:51 AM

I’m from Buffalo and live in NoVA.

This region does not know how to handle snow. Period.

What we have as of right now is about an inch of pre-slush. Anyone who knows the Buffalo region knows about slush: that frigid mix of wet snow with water that isn’t really snow but isn’t really ready to drain off the streets, either. We started with a base of rain from yesterday, then added snow into the mix (it’s falling slush from the heavens!) and now have these big, white, fluffy, barely snow flakes to coat the top half-inch and make everything look all Christmasy until, of course, you take a step in it and your foot slides an inch or so once you reach a solid surface.

I can handle snow… easily! Love the fact that real snow tends to stay where you want it to go.

Rain water is a snap, just let it run to where it wants to go and make sure you are above a thousand year flood mark. Simple.

Slush?

You can plow it off the streets leaving you water just at the freezing mark. Add a light breeze and you get: black ice. Black ice is that thin layer of ice that sits just on top of blacktop and is just barely thick enough to make your car skid out on a gentle turn at 30mph. You can’t see it as it isn’t that glossy type of ice, but matte and at best looks like a dull glaze when you can see it at all. A touch of sand or salt on the roads is the trick for this stuff, until you have to plow it off, of course, due to slush build-up….

Thus we have a few days of slush predicted with random patches of black ice to follow, all while a few big, fluffy, happy, water-laden flakes come down to sneer at us. And build up on tree limbs. Which will then proceed to snap and take out power in some areas, this being a metro region, and all, they don’t really see fit to do the preventative tricks of clearing tree limbs and figure that black-outs are just random acts of nature you really shouldn’t try to avoid.

Anyone with experience can tell you these things. The way it is actually treated tells you of the deep-derangement that goes on and the denial that this isn’t the Old South of Yore but the modern mid-Atlantic of Insanity and Nearsightedness.

Yeah, stay off the roads until you really, and for true, need to go out for something that is worth risking your life for. This is the season of weather this year, so just wait a few days and we will then go back to mid-40′s to 50′s and 60′s for a day and a half and then back down to 30 to 35 for a day and a half, with mixes of snow, open skies, rain, slush, etc. happening more or less randomly. Right now its snow on slush. Wait a couple of days. Something worse will come along.

ajacksonian on March 6, 2013 at 8:02 AM

Breaking: DHS announces emergency redeployment of 500 TSA workers to shovel local golf course for POTUS afternoon outing #snowquester

petefrt on March 6, 2013 at 8:09 AM

Naming the weather every time it rains or snows a lot is nuts, but then look who’s doing it. Where’s the agw protesters?

Kissmygrits on March 6, 2013 at 8:25 AM

Naming the weather every time it rains or snows a lot is nuts, but then look who’s doing it. Where’s the agw protesters?

Kissmygrits on March 6, 2013 at 8:25 AM

“Snowquester” is kind of a tongue in cheek thing — in the tradition of “Snowmageddon” a couple of others. I think MK mischaracterized it as a “movement” it first showed up in local blogs and is entirely unofficial. Even the regular news doesn’t seem to be using it.

urban elitist on March 6, 2013 at 8:58 AM

Snow? In winter? Who would have thought of that?

rbj on March 6, 2013 at 9:00 AM

I still say we should start building the “B” ark, on the National Mall so it will be close by for its elite passengers.

drunyan8315 on March 6, 2013 at 9:30 AM

OMG, I’m snowed in. It’s horrible, why there must be 2 or 3 inches of that stuff on my deck. The world surely is coming to an end. How’m I doin’ can I be a Senator now? Seriously I’ve walked to school in worse than this, uphill both ways of course. As far as driving. Anyone who couldn’t get around in this shouldn’t have a driver’s license. That’s not a bad idea it would solve most of NOVAs traffic problems if the idiots around here couldn’t get licenses. That way the only folks on the roads would be decent drivers and illegal aliens.

Oldnuke on March 6, 2013 at 9:50 AM

Oh, I live in Spotsylvania county about 50 miles south of D.C. It’s snowing but the temperature is about 35 degrees and not predicted to dip much below 32 in the next few days. It’s supposedly going to snow the rest of today and into the night. Tomorrow’s high is predicted to be 42 and sunny with increasing temperatures through to Sunday. Sunday’s high in the low 60s. Everything in this area has been cancelled.

Oldnuke on March 6, 2013 at 10:02 AM

If a snowstorm shuts down DC, I say we call it a Patriot Storm or Freedom Storm.

dominigan on March 6, 2013 at 10:13 AM

It’s sunny and beautiful here in East Texas. What’s the problem?

DC? Screw ‘em.

trigon on March 6, 2013 at 10:48 AM

I’m in Northern Virginia, just a few miles outside DC. What’s coming down is basically light wet snow. Another few degrees warmer and it would be ordinary rain. There is snow coating the grass, but it isn’t sticking to the roads or the sidewalks, and I haven’t seen or heard one snowplow drive by.

Yeah, this is yet another DC area blizzard that fell short of expectations. We seem to get one of those every winter. But then the drivers around here tend to get awfully nervous whenever it snows at all.

Aitch748 on March 6, 2013 at 10:51 AM

5-8 inches in the capital tonight and tomorrow morning, and there’s a movement afoot to call if Snowquester

If weatherman are as reliable in DC as they are here in Michigan, then the storm will fizzel and be nothing.

Which would be funny because of all the hype it turns out that it was no big deal. Like the Sequester.

Of course Obama will send a memo to scrape what little snow was found and pile it up where it will harm the most people.

mechkiller_k on March 6, 2013 at 10:56 AM

“I have a soft spot for Joe Biden,” he [Roger Ailes] said. “I like him. But he’s dumb as an ashtray.”

J_Crater on March 6, 2013 at 11:22 AM

When in trouble,
And in Doubt,

Run in Circles,
Scream and Shout.

itsspideyman on March 6, 2013 at 2:56 PM

If a snowstorm shuts down DC, I say we call it a Patriot Storm or Freedom Storm.

dominigan on March 6, 2013 at 10:13 AM

.
I second that motion.

listens2glenn on March 6, 2013 at 8:49 PM