Quotes of the day

posted at 8:31 pm on March 2, 2013 by Allahpundit

The White House says its hands are tied by the $85 billion sequester, but budget experts counter that it will have some flexibility to choose what to cut and what to save.

The wiggle-room is inviting accusations from Congress that President Obama is mismanaging the cuts.

Critics also say the flexibility could allow the administration to make the cuts more painful, in order to pressure congressional Republicans to raise taxes as part of a sequester-replacement. Some of these critics point to the decision to not deploy an aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf…

Some accounts are so broadly defined they give the administration a lot of flexibility. For example, the Pentagon’s operations and maintenance account includes thousands of contracts and different activities from which to choose the cuts.

***

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said Friday that the cuts under sequestration “will cause pain” and potentially impact readiness ”across our force,” but avoided any doomsday scenario for the impact on national security. Hagel also expressed optimism the White House and Congress would come to an agreement to head off any serious consequences.

In his first briefing for reporters, Hagel said America “has the most capable, the most powerful fighting force in the world” and the Pentagon will “not allow this capacity to erode.” Hagel added “we’ll do what we need to do to assure the capabilities of our forces.”

“We’re adjusting to the realities.”

“I have confidence in the president and the Congress that decisions, consensus will be reached to at some point to avert tremendous damage to this institution. This is the security of America we’re talking about … adjustments are being made … to assure the capabilities and readiness of our forces.”

***

Speaker John A. Boehner, the man who spent significant portions of the last Congress shuttling to and from the White House for fiscal talks with President Obama that ultimately failed twice to produce a grand bargain, has come around to the idea that the best negotiations are no negotiations

Among those who placed him in his post and could conceivably remove him, the test of his leadership seems to be how little action he takes. In a closed-door meeting and subsequent news conference this week, Mr. Boehner said the House was done negotiating over spending cuts until the Senate “begins to do something.”…

“I think he realized the president of the United States was using him as a tool for his own benefit and was not actually in a partnership with him, and he also realized that we in the House were not happy with what was coming out of those negotiations,” said Representative Raúl R. Labrador, Republican of Idaho. “We were pretty blunt with him and the entire leadership team that we have to feel like we have a plan and a vision, and we’re following up on that plan and that vision.”

***

President Obama’s public shaming of congressional Republicans to act on a range of issues may be winning at the polls — but it risks alienating the people needed to reach bipartisan compromise.

While Obama has made a strategic calculation that he needs to marshal public support to push through his agenda, centrist Republicans warn the president and his allies could go too far with partisan events and campaign-style ads targeting GOP lawmakers…

Rep. John Kline (R-Minn.), chairman of the Education and Workforce Committee, noted that it was “really, really early to start” attacks, and said the ads could be counterproductive by further undermining relations between the GOP and the White House.

“It is strange to have President Obama’s arm reaching out and attacking members of the House Republicans when in theory he’s trying to work with us,” he said. “I’m not sure how smart that is. If he really wants cooperation, why would you just sort of, intentionally antagonize? I don’t know.”

***

There are two legitimate objections to sequestration, one political and the other policy-oriented. Politically, Republicans will be handing Democrats something to blame for an economy that is slowing because of tax increases. In terms of policy, sequestration is not an ideal way to make budget choices and is particularly hard on defense spending for no good reason.

But if relatively modest budget reductions that have current law on their side can’t happen, then no real spending cuts can ever happen. And if entitlements and interest payments on the debt aren’t eventually dealt with, defense will keep getting squeezed.

***

Touting their role as trimmers of a welfare state they once wanted to transform, titillated by the prospect of using as a boomerang against President Obama an idea that was originally his own, thrilled to be showing unaccustomed cleverness by trying to make lemonade out of lemons, the Republicans have taken to the ramparts to preserve, protect, and defend sequestration…

Now what? It’s the morning after. Bloated domestic discretionary federal programs may become a bit less bloated. But they won’t be reformed or improved. Meanwhile, it is defense—the first function of the national government, whose share of federal spending has gone from about 47 percent under John Kennedy to less than 20 percent today—that takes the bulk of the cuts. The one part of the government that has performed well, even above and beyond the call of duty, over the last decade is slashed deeply and indiscriminately.

It’s at this point that the writer is supposed to interject, hastily and apologetically, that of course the Pentagon can and should be cut to some degree, that of course there is at least some bloat in its budget, and that of course no one is mindlessly defending all defense spending. We scorn this pointless accommodation to what are assumed to be the prejudices of uninformed readers. The fact is, if America is to pursue anything resembling its traditional role in the world for the last 70 years, the Pentagon has already been cut too much. We are already at dangerously low levels. The most reasonable position to take now on defense spending cuts is: No.

***

Say what you like about those Mayan guys, but they only schedule an apocalypse once every 5,126 years. Only Washington would try to pull it off every six weeks. If I understand correctly, by the time you read this, the planes will be dropping from the skies; the drip-feeds in every emergency room will be dry; every creature on the endangered species list will have broken free from our pristine federally manned national parks to be left for roadkill in the potholed asphalt of America’s crumbling interstates; you’ll turn on your bathroom faucet only to find the town reservoir choked with fecal coliform; the Ebola virus will be rampant across Ohio, Florida, New Hampshire, and other swing states, where it will nevertheless enjoy higher approval ratings than Marco Rubio and every other prospective GOP nominee. The sequester supposedly cuts $44 billion from the federal budget — or from the rate of growth of the federal budget. Whatever. $44 billion is about what the United States government borrows every nine days, so it’s not a lot. But it’s apparently responsible for everything that matters in American life…

Can you pierce the mists of time and go back all the way to the year 2007? Back then, federal spending was 40 percent lower than it is today. In a mere half-decade, has all that 40 percent gravy become so indispensable to the general welfare that not even a teensy-weensy sliver of it can be cut?

If you really believe that, then America is going to die, and a gullible citizenry willing to give this laughable charade the time of day will bear ultimate responsibility.

***

Obama said he thinks the cuts can be replaced by combining a different set of spending cuts with entitlement reform and changes to the tax code, without raising anyone’s tax rates.

“A majority of the American people agree with me on this approach, including a majority of Republicans. We just need Republicans in Congress to catch up with their own party and the rest of the country,” he said…

“Now, it’s important to understand that, while not everyone will feel the pain of these cuts right away, the pain will be real,” Obama said.

***

Krauthammer argued that Obama has never had any interest in cutting spending or reducing deficits, suggesting that sequestration is part of the president’s “larger agenda” to change America into a liberal entitlement “European-style” state. He said that the only obstacle that Obama has ever had to overcome was the Republican-controlled House, and in order to get done what he really wants to get done, he needs to “neutralize,” “marginalize,” and “fracture” the GOP on the spending issue.

Krauthammer predicted that when Americans start to feel the brunt of the spending cuts, the media will portray it as “Republican cuts” and his opposition will “come crawling and cave on taxes and spending.” Hannity agreed with Krauthammer, but said it is far more malicious than that, since Obama is most interested in cutting spending in the most essential parts of the economy for the sake of making a political point.

***

Via the Daily Caller.


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October snow on harvest moons
Sing to me my spirit swoons
Scars from wars never declared
Healed by he who only cared
Enough for me and still for you
To cover all that men might do
To lift us up and tarry there
Till broken hearts and souls repair
Silver lakes or deserts blur
A promise holds fast and sure
As he left the marks were deep
His feet his wrists his hands I weep
Has one suffered half as he
Loved half as much as he loves me
In his light I too will love
Not as deep you’ll feel it soon
October snow on harvest moon

Rusty Allen on March 2, 2013 at 8:37 PM

Send

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:38 PM

And the world still turns.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 8:38 PM

Child Sequester! Child Sequester! Run!

Rusty Allen on March 2, 2013 at 8:40 PM

Hairy back and beer gut bouncing
I’m happy now to be announcing
Marriage vows to a lucky nymph
She does thee wed me sparky gimp.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:41 PM

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Congratulations! When’s the big day?

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 8:43 PM

I found a toaster in a tree
As I was about to take a pee
English muffins contained there in
I ate them eagerly, is that a sin?

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM

President Petulant Pinocchio, the Perpetual Prevaricator, petulantly prevaricating perpetually.

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM

…I’m getting tired of that face!
…an ass would be better!

KOOLAID2 on March 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM

But does he ever lie?

predator on March 2, 2013 at 8:47 PM

…Hickory Dickory Dock
…Obama can eat my Clock!

KOOLAID2 on March 2, 2013 at 8:47 PM

You know..

History books has some work ahead of them..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 8:48 PM

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 8:43 PM

She doesn’t know yet but it will be April 1st. I hope she says yes. Lol

She served me a lemonade at the hot dog on a stick place and I fell in love.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:48 PM

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM

Not in my book. LOL

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 8:49 PM

Obama said he thinks the cuts can be replaced by combining a different set of spending cuts with entitlement reform and changes to the tax code, without raising anyone’s tax rates.

“A majority of the American people agree with me on this approach, including a majority of Republicans. We just need Republicans in Congress to catch up with their own party and the rest of the country,” he said…

…sure..huh hUH!

KOOLAID2 on March 2, 2013 at 8:50 PM

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:48 PM

She will. Ahhh … lemonade, hot dogs and true love.

How romantic. :)

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 8:50 PM

*clink*

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 8:51 PM

I just don’t think this is going to work out well.

Barry’s line: The financial crisis (and everything since) was due to the way things were run (unregulated, free-market, wild-west greed and capitalism)

The chance is high that we will have a recession this year…zero growth in 4Q. Bernanke will flood the zone with $$$$$$…but there is still a business cycle.

Presto…Rs gave us yet another Recession…just like before. Good government will never allow for a good people to suffer recessions…we must go forward to..well…blah blah blah

r keller on March 2, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Second look at amendmending the constitution to let non-natural born citizens like Mark Steyn run?

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Obama will look for ways to make it hurt. Americans have a lot of reparations to make.

indypat on March 2, 2013 at 8:52 PM

The one part of the government that has performed well, even above and beyond the call of duty, over the last decade is slashed deeply and indiscriminately.

This would be the part of the federal government that has been building the Mad Hatter Unsafe At Any Speed Trillion Dollar Bridge To Nowhere in Afcrapistan … … I presume. Where the Hell am I? Oh no, this is Oz, isn’t it!!!???

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 8:54 PM

Second look at amendmending the constitution to let non-natural born citizens like Mark Steyn run?

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Fifty independent nation-states is starting to sound good. D.C. is becoming a failed experiment.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I think it would be interesting if nothing really big happens because of the cuts.
I mean it is only 2% of a 3 TRILLION dollar budget.
I mean seriously you can not cut 2 percent of 3 trillion?
if nothing happens will that give the squishy GOP moderates the stones
to actually CUT something instead of changing base line budgeting?

conservative tarheel on March 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 8:52 PM

Yes, well, it sure does seem that way, doesn’t it? Will be a big wake up call when we disprove that theory — I say we call our current QE infinity the Bloomberg Monetary Theory.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Second look at amendmending the constitution to let non-natural born citizens like Mark Steyn run?

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Undocumented..

It’s OK..

Wait..

Did Mark do something wrong?

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 8:56 PM

David Burge ‏@iowahawkblog

No joke: Italy under the control of fascist, Jew-hating stand up comedian … #MamaMia

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 8:56 PM

Fifty independent nation-states is starting to sound good. D.C. is becoming a failed experiment.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Yes, well, last time that was tried the federal government didn’t take too kindly to states deciding to go off and do their own thing.

I mean seriously you can not cut 2 percent of 3 trillion?
if nothing happens will that give the squishy GOP moderates the stones
to actually CUT something instead of changing base line budgeting?

conservative tarheel on March 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Cuts? We’ll spend $15B + more in FY2013 then we did in FY2012 with these “cuts” they’re cuts in the rate of growth. If we froze spending at FY2012 levels, they’d call it a 2 Trillion dollar cut over 10 years.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Micheal bloomberg is kind of funny
Seems to know not what is money
we got lots of paper and lots of inks
But real money is lent by the commie chinks.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:59 PM

Yes, well, it sure does seem that way, doesn’t it? Will be a big wake up call when we disprove that theory — I say we call our current QE infinity the Bloomberg Monetary Theory.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

As I show, Bloomberg is just a clown in a long line of clown.

I love these idiots that say “public finance is not like individual or business finance.”

“Fine,” I tell them, “wake me up when the first government defies the laws of economics and math.”

Rip van Winkle only slept for 100 years…

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:00 PM

Yes, well, last time that was tried the federal government didn’t take too kindly to states deciding to go off and do their own thing.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 8:58 PM

If at first you don’t succeed…

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:00 PM

No joke: Italy under the control of fascist, Jew-hating stand up comedian … #MamaMia

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I think you may be confusing Italy and the U.S.

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 9:01 PM

Security is not a given
Everyone must be a little driven
All require a desire
Raise the bar higher
Cannot conceive
How now naive!

Declining to ever lower depths it has come
Each should be embarrassed
Verily the competence barest
Exceptional it can and MUST be
Longing for America to remain free

Operate then in a competent and timely fashion
Performing with passion
Measures to the fullest to be taken
Exploring more and leaving less forsaken
Negate stifling bureaucracy

The end otherwise to our democracy!

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:04 PM

If you really believe that, then America is going to die, and a gullible citizenry willing to give this laughable charade the time of day will bear ultimate responsibility.

I’m with Mark Stein and against Obama, Bill Kristol and all the other chicken little statists.

FloatingRock on March 2, 2013 at 9:05 PM

Week-end Photo/Video Essay:

Shocking Disasters Of The 20th Century: From Hindenburg To Le Mans, Historic Pathé Footage Reveals Events Which Shook The World

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:01 PM

Powerful..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:07 PM

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:01 PM

Very interesting. Thanks for the retrospective.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:07 PM

No joke: Italy under the control of fascist, Jew-hating stand up comedian … #MamaMia

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I think you may be confusing Italy and the U.S.

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 9:01 PM

Nah, nothing Obama says is funny.

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:08 PM

Nah, nothing Obama says is funny.

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:08 PM

The fact that Obama has a platform…

Is saddening..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:11 PM

She served me a lemonade at the hot dog on a stick place and I fell in love.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 8:48 PM

Good luck. Maybe in place of a limo you can rent the Oscar Mayer weinermobile for the happy day.

bw222 on March 2, 2013 at 9:11 PM

Nah, nothing Obama says is funny.

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:08 PM

I got a pretty good laugh out of the Corpse-man routine……..

VegasRick on March 2, 2013 at 9:12 PM

If at first you don’t succeed…

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:00 PM

As my buddy from Georgia likes to say to me when I bring it up, “it’s only half-time you dumb yank”

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:12 PM

It’s funny how people assume things
It’s stupid how they listen to others
It’s usual that they will believe
Likely they won’t come up to you
Most likely they wont ask you for the truth
They think they already know
They know that they may think
They ask others what to think
What to think is what others asked themselves
Others will likely tell them
But will also assume
Mostly likely never know
You can’t think you know
You can’t ask others to know
To know is to find the truth yourself
To find the truth is to go back to what you think
Then what you think is usually where you went wrong
Where you went wrong was to believe
To believe is only in yourself
In yourself you didn’t think
You didn’t know what to believe
You did know what you were doing
What you were doing was hearing from others
To hear is something you have to see
But you didn’t see
To see is to find everything out yourself
Which goes back to the beginning
In the beginning
You shouldn’t have assumed
You should of gone to where you think
Because where you think
Is where you find the truth
What you think
Is what you never know
To know is to never think

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:13 PM

bw222 on March 2, 2013 at 9:11 PM

That would be a dream come true in a corn dog kind of way. (:

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:14 PM

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:14 PM

Congratulations on your up and coming nuptuals!!

Hot diggity Dog on a stick! ;-)

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:15 PM

As my buddy from Georgia likes to say to me when I bring it up, “it’s only half-time you dumb yank”

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:12 PM

Think of it as another form of sequestration. We simply sequester D.C. from the rest of the country.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:16 PM

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Well if she says no then I’ll be back chasing the hotties in the glade.

Better run fast Scrumpy doodles. (:

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:20 PM

Think of it as another form of sequestration. We simply sequester D.C. from the rest of the country.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:16 PM

Yeah. Too bad we can’t divorce half the country for “irreconcilable differences” while we’re at it.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:22 PM

This thread needs some energy. Everybody think about your second chakra and chug a beer.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Quotes About Stupidity

“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately
explained by stupidity.” -Anonymous

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
-Albert Einstein

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and consciencious stupidity.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.”
-Bertrand Russell

“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.”
-Confucius

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
-Bertrand Russell

“Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.”
-Sloan Wilson

“A stupid child is ruin to a father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.”
-The Bible: Hebrew, Proverbs 19:13

“Stupid is as stupid does.”
-Forrest Gump

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”
-Thomas Szasz

“When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“To be stupid and selfish and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless.”
-Gustave Flaubert

“Sure the people are stupid: the human race is stupid. Sure Congress is an inefficient instrument of government. But the people are not stupid enough to abandon representative government for any other kind, including government by the guy who knows.”
-Bernard Devoto

“The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat.”
-Oscar Wilde

“You even called me stupid in your verse, and I’m almost agreeing, for where stupidity is involved, you are quite an expert, friend.”
-Franz Grillparzer

“Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.”
-Oscar Wilde

“One always has the idea of a stupid man as perfectly healthy and ordinary, and of illness as making one refined and clever and unusual.”
-Thomas Mann

“The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them.”
-Oscar Wilde

“I had rather be an oyster than a man, the most stupid and senseless of animals.”
-George Berkeley

“It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“We have no words for speaking of wisdom to the stupid. He who understands the wise is wise already.”
-G.C. Lichtenberg

“There are only two races on this planet-the intelligent and the stupid.”
-John Fowles

“Between a fellow who is stupid and honest and one who is smart and crooked, I will take the first. I won’t get much out of him, but with that other guy I can’t keep what I’ve got.”
-Gen Lewis B Hershey, Director, Selective Service System

“One must be a little foolish, if one does not want to be even more stupid.”
-Michel de Montaigne

“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.”
-P.J. O’Rourke

“Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be ‘too clever by half.’ The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters.”
-John Major

“You have to believe in God before you can say there are things that man was not meant to know. I don’t think there’s anything man wasn’t meant to know. There are just some stupid things that people shouldn’t do.”
-David Cronenberg

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Yeah. Too bad we can’t divorce half the country for “irreconcilable differences” while we’re at it.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Yeah. Since we have ports in Louisiana and Texas, who really needs either coast? Hmmmmm…

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:25 PM

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:20 PM

Who needs to run!

I got a broom broom…. ;-D

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:25 PM

This thread needs some energy. Everybody think about your second chakra and chug a beer.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Too late..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:25 PM

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Whoa..

:)

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Yeah. Since we have ports in Louisiana and Texas, who really needs either coast? Hmmmmm…

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:25 PM

Well, we’d get the coasts back about 5 years down the line after their economies completely collapsed and the zombie hoard ran out of free food and was begging for us back.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Nah, nothing Obama says is funny.

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:08 PM

I got a pretty good laugh out of the Corpse-man routine……..

VegasRick on March 2, 2013 at 9:12 PM

And then there is the Pig he puts clothes on and pretends is his wife. That’s a hilarious routine.

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Stupid things written by Students:

One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the War, the Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code of telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:30 PM

And then there is the Pig he puts clothes on and pretends is his wife. That’s a hilarious routine.

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Lipstick…

It covers wonders..

But just think..

When Obama wakes the morning..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:30 PM

Maybe in place of a limo you can rent the Oscar Mayer weinermobile for the happy day.

bw222 on March 2, 2013 at 9:11 PM

Actually, that’s a darn good idea. I’d love to see pics of the vehicle trailing a bunch of cans on strings.

platypus on March 2, 2013 at 9:31 PM

Well, we’d get the coasts back about 5 years down the line after their economies completely collapsed and the zombie hoard ran out of free food and was begging for us back.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:28 PM

This is sounding better all the time! ;)

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:32 PM

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Here’s another for your collection, attributed to Frank Zappa:

“There is more stupidity in the world than hydrogen, and it has longer shelf life.”

Another favorite Zappa quote is this, although the jury’s out whether it’s as true today as when he penned this in the late 60s:

“Communism will never work in America because people like to own stuff.

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 9:33 PM

Let’s liven things up by pre announcing tonight’s entertainment extravGanza:

Dire and Cher will sing for us while Scrumpy and Grace do the mashed potato. I’ll jump on my trampoline. RWM will do bird calls of the south Pacific.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:33 PM

Good evening everyone…

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

As IF you guys didn’t already KNOW this! ;-P

The Man Code

1.Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.

2.Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3.Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4.When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5.Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6.You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call B*LLSH$T. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%)

7.If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8.The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

9.Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10.No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11.Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12.Before dating a buddy’s “ex”, you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13.Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14.If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem – you didn’t see nothin’.

15.The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16.A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend’s cat.

17.When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

18.When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19.It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel… and it’s free.

20.Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

21.A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

22.If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin”, then you may sit back and enjoy.

23.Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: “Yeah, baby, push it!”, “C’mon, give me one more! Harder!”, “Another set and we can hit the showers.” ” Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?”

24.Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That’s just plain mean.

25.If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26.Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.

27.Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you’re on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

28Unlocking a car door for another man is polite. Opening it is gay.

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

This is sounding better all the time! ;)

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:32 PM

Heh. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s in the cards. They know they need us.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

And then there is the Pig he puts clothes on and pretends is his wife. That’s a hilarious routine.

VorDaj on March 2, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Hey! Comparing moochele to a pig is not nice! You should appologize to pigs right now!

VegasRick on March 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

This thread needs some energy. Everybody think about your second chakra and chug a beer.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Hell, I’m having trouble getting my first chakra out of first gear!

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

Good evening everyone…

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

…Swalker…

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

Good evening everyone…

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Evening…..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:36 PM

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Hi. Hope your band width is wide.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Hell, I’m having trouble getting my first chakra out of first gear!

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

It’s tricky..

You do know how to double clutch…

Well anyway..

The brake..
Forget it..

We want full accel..

How is your upper body strength?
:)

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:39 PM

Good evening!! :-X

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:40 PM

Hi. Hope your band width is wide.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Broad.

tom daschle concerned on March 2, 2013 at 9:41 PM

Chart of the Day: OECD: Living Standards Are Much Higher In The United States

Resist We Much on March 2, 2013 at 9:39 PM

Hence..
Cutting just 2%…

This country would fold….

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:41 PM

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:39 PM

Double clutching — check.

Upper body strength — developing. :)

PatriotGal2257 on March 2, 2013 at 9:41 PM

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Sounds about right… ;)

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:42 PM

tom daschle concerned on March 2, 2013 at 9:41 PM

Hahaha. Much better. *clink*

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:43 PM

Good evening everyone…

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

…Swalker…

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

Good evening everyone…

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Evening…..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:36 PM

Good evening Tom, EG…

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Bad Metaphors from which we may pick and choose to use!! ;-D

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of “Jeopardy!”

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.”

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Every minute without you feels like 60 seconds.

The horizon swallowed the setting sun like a dog sucking an egg, but not quite.

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Hi. Hope your band width is wide.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:37 PM

If it’s this wide, it will handle an infinite amount of data.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Krauthammer argued that Obama has never had any interest in cutting spending or reducing deficits, suggesting that sequestration is part of the president’s “larger agenda” to change America into a liberal entitlement “European-style” state. He said that the only obstacle that Obama has ever had to overcome was the Republican-controlled House, and in order to get done what he really wants to get done, he needs to “neutralize,” “marginalize,” and “fracture” the GOP on the spending issue.

Krauthammer predicted that when Americans start to feel the brunt of the spending cuts, the media will portray it as “Republican cuts” and his opposition will “come crawling and cave on taxes and spending.” Hannity agreed with Krauthammer, but said it is far more malicious than that, since Obama is most interested in cutting spending in the most essential parts of the economy for the sake of making a political point.

This is quite the depressing reality. Does anybody see a scenario where this doesn’t play out?

Jackalope on March 2, 2013 at 9:45 PM

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Hi. Hope your band width is wide.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Actually, no… O_O

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:45 PM

Que the screaming goat, Obama is talking again!!!!

PappyD61 on March 2, 2013 at 9:45 PM

SWalker on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Hi Hi

tom daschle concerned on March 2, 2013 at 9:45 PM

If it’s this wide, it will handle an infinite amount of data.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

No double take there..
If you do..

You are finished…:)

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:46 PM

If it’s this wide, it will handle an infinite amount of data.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

You do know that every step that is made..

Costs us 10,00 dollars…

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:47 PM

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Lolz.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:48 PM

This is quite the depressing reality. Does anybody see a scenario where this doesn’t play out?

Jackalope on March 2, 2013 at 9:45 PM

Of course the bureaucrats were purposely slow everything down, do drastic and unnecessary things (letting illegals out of jail) etc., and of course they’ll blame republicans.

I mean, whatever, it’s the same old same old. I’m not really concerned, it won’t change any minds. The low info idiots who already vote d will eat it up, the progressive true believers know its a farce, and r voters know its a farce.

Timin203 on March 2, 2013 at 9:48 PM

You do know that every step that is made..

Costs us 10,00 dollars…

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:47 PM

Data ain’t cheap, baby! This is D.C.!

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:50 PM

If it’s this wide, it will handle an infinite amount of data.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

That picture needs a sign: Wide Load

VegasRick on March 2, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Costs us 10,00 dollars…

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:47 PM

Did I miss a zero??

At this point…

What difference does it make….

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:51 PM

That picture needs a sign: Wide Load

VegasRick on March 2, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Better yet..

Over 15,000 pounds..

Take exit 101..

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:52 PM

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

H/t: Scrumpy Google

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM

If only he wouldn’t have screwed up those dang debates.

http://campl.us/n9gV

gophergirl on March 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM

25 Signs You’ve Grown Up

1.Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2.Having secks in a twin bed is out of the question.

3.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5.You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6.You watch the Weather Channel.

7.Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8.You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9.Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10.You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11.Older relatives feel comfortable telling secks jokes around you.

12.You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13.Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

14.You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15.Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16.You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

17.Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18.Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19.You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20.A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

21.You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22.”I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23.90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24.You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25.You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you. :-P

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM

25.You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you. :-P

Scrumpy on March 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM

Got caught…:)

Electrongod on March 2, 2013 at 9:54 PM

Michelle should name her butt Oprah.

SparkPlug on March 2, 2013 at 9:54 PM

That picture needs a sign: Wide Load

VegasRick on March 2, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Had to take it off. Sequestration, dontcha know.

predator on March 2, 2013 at 9:54 PM

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