Onion apologizes for crass joke about nine-year-old Oscar nominee
posted at 6:01 pm on February 25, 2013 by Allahpundit
Alternate headline: “Blogger struggles to cope with slow news day.” As does the AP, which, believe it or not, now has a story on the wires about this.
You can read the offending joke, since deleted, at Twitchy. The surest way to bomb in comedy is to pick on a child or use the C-word. Do both at the same time and you’ve got a mushroom cloud. Here’s what the fallout looked like on the Onion’s Facebook page a few hours ago:
Dear Readers,
On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting.
No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire.
The tweet was taken down within an hour of publication. We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again.
In addition, we are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible.
Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better. All of us at The Onion are deeply sorry.
Sincerely,
Steve Hannah
CEO
The Onion
I’ve been reading the site off and on for years and can’t recall another case of them apologizing for a joke. And bear in mind, this is an outfit that’s not above using disabled veterans as a peg to satirize the Pentagon’s reliance on repeat deployments. So, question: Does it matter that Wallis isn’t really the butt of the joke? The joke, as Ace took it, is the author’s feigned obliviousness to the absurdity of calling an adorable little girl a C-bomb. The “everyone else seems afraid to say it” bit at the beginning is the whole point of the goof; literally no one else would think such a thing and of course the author knows that, so when he presumes to be speaking some unspoken truth, he’s revealing himself to be a monster. He’s the butt of the joke.
That’s one way to read the gag. The way I read it was as more of a goof on the sort of catty oneupsmanship that populates social media during awards ceremonies generally and the Oscars in particular, especially vis-a-vis Anne Hathaway. The Onion had other gags last night devoted to the otherwise inexplicable dislike people have for her, but she’s only the most extreme example. Between the fame, the wealth, the fashion, and the hyperventilating entertainment “journalists,” there’s no more target-rich environment in American culture for joyless, jealous bitchy snark than the Oscars red carpet show. I took the Wallis joke as a goof on that mindset, of the critic who’s so eager to take the A-listers and their egos down a peg that he’d actually drop a C-bomb on a sweet little nine-year-old. She’s not the butt of the joke, we are. But your mileage may vary.
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Those $100,000 bangs…
Jeddite on February 25, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Chris Christie was busy slobbering all over the obamas at the White House last night…
https://twitter.com/Dudette9t9/status/305847708927815680/photo/1
Pork-Chop on February 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM
You get the feeling these dilettantes (both Michelle and her wife) are going to have a REALLY hard time being ex-monarchs. Their attention addiction is going to make Bubba’s retirement look like W’s.
SoRight on February 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Par for the Hollywood elite
cmsinaz on February 25, 2013 at 10:48 AM
Such an important night, such an important venue…awarding awards to actors…that helps the country.
right2bright on February 25, 2013 at 10:48 AM
Barf-o-Rama. And even in an updo the bangs make her look like Rick James.
Naturally Curly on February 25, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Well, why not, they pranced out Jane Fonda…
right2bright on February 25, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Some country will make Obama king after he destroys Amerika.
redguy on February 25, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Is that Banana Joe on her head.
Brat on February 25, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Opening for 2016 political run somewhere.
Oil Can on February 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Between Andrea’s ditziness on the Walking Dead and Flotus making me barf, all in all I would have to say that it was a pretty bad TV night.
Jackalope on February 25, 2013 at 10:52 AM
I disagree. While I’m sure wanting to top Clinton’s spot at the Globes played a role, the Obamas have to insinuate themselves into everything. We get to see him fill out his March Madness bracket, opine before the Super Bowl, yuk it up on late night TV…their shameless self-promotion knows no bounds.
changer1701 on February 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Chris Christie is busy slamming the door on any chance that he’d ever had of winning the White House. Rubio likes making mince meat out of obnoxious careerists. (See the best Senate race ever.)
Illinidiva on February 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM
I hope you are right that they will be EX-monarchs some day, but I fear that their reign of terror may never end. If obama actually relinquishes power in four years (I’m not convinced), will he simply be replaced by Michelle Obama? Michelle is being pushed hard – it appears that her 2016 campaign has already begun.
Pork-Chop on February 25, 2013 at 10:54 AM
What a hideous beast! What’s happened to our country? Is this some kind of freak-show or what- like Divinity eating poo off the sidewalk in that John Waters flick. My worst nightmare is a dream compared to this. Would someone please open the gates and let me out already?
sartana on February 25, 2013 at 10:54 AM
There they go hanging out with the wealthy jet plane owning 1% again. You know the ones the REPUBLICANS are always trying to protect.
ctmom on February 25, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Whatever this vapid statement is supposed to meanI don’t know. I hear there’s a move afoot to exempt Obama from the first rounds of US Open qualifying because of his passionate interest in golf.
The Obama family is so amazingly cool. The media affords them the same daily pop culture exposure that the Kim family gets in North Korea.
DaveDief on February 25, 2013 at 10:54 AM
How many muillions did Oscar cost the tax payers?
StevC on February 25, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Egos Gone Wild-In-Chief.
hillsoftx on February 25, 2013 at 10:55 AM
I’m glad the Oscars went on long enough that I went to bed before I saw this trainwreck.
I can understand the Alinsky theory, and that perhaps the Obamas want the country to come crashing down to be rebuilt along marxist principles. I just didn’t realize that until last night, they were willing to sacrifice themsleves to advance their agenda. This was a complete not abdication of the Office of the Presidency, but a deliberate throwing of it into a garbage strewn gutter. They have thrown themselves into the gutter in order to try and take down our Republic. Are they hoping that future genreations will see them as noble, tragic heroes who did what they had to do in order to wreck an unfair system? Because that is a larger gamble than what the rebels faced at Lexington.
rbj on February 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM
I guess Ted Cruz wasn’t available. Seriously, this is a big reason why I only watch pirated movies anymore. Screw these people.
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Scientific studies show that animals are often attracted to shiny objects. just saying’.
Archivarix on February 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM
Are they even real service members or are they like the “doctors” Barky trots out every time he talks about 0bamascare?
Brat on February 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM
This is how they appeal to the LoInFo’s. And sadly it works. Jeebus, we’re still hearing about her stinking BANGS.
ctmom on February 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
So who will present for the future movie depicting the rescue efforts of the 4 men in Benghazi? Oh, never mind.
hillsoftx on February 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Personally, I’m surprised that Obama wasn’t nominated for best actor in a governmental role. Michelle would have been an excellent choice for best supporting actress.
cajunpatriot on February 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
I think Michelle has no intention of being an ex-monarch. This is all about her running for Senate and then president. After all, the transformation to socialism is not yet complete! Women like her and Hillary cannot stand to have their husbands accomplish more than they do.
PattyJ on February 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Say what you will about Hanoi Jane(and there is much that can be said), but she’s a 2-time Oscar winner. She’s earned the right to be out there on that stage. What the hell is Michelle Obama doing presenting Best Freaking Picture even via satellite?! She’s not an actress. She has no affiliation with any of the 9 nominees in the category. There’s no political overtones to the ceremony like you could argue there were at the 2002 Oscars after 9/11. The only reason to have her do this is to inject the Obamas and in effect their politics into the proceedings. A dumb, unforced error in every way imaginable. And BTW, Hollywood, Moochelle is nowhere near as beloved by the country as you’d like to think.
Doughboy on February 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Yes, those are service members behind Mrs. Obama. Why? who knows?
ted c on February 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
So you approve of people committing crimes against you because of your politics?
Scum.
Capitalist Hog on February 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM
I hate the acronym FLOTUS. There is no such thing. POTUS?, fine. SCOTUS?, sure. FLOTUS? She ain’t my First Lady.
BierManVA on February 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM
I don’t think any previous FLOTUS would ever pull such a classless publicity stunt. She has no skill, no class, and is a nobody. Except that she is married to the talent less guy the left wing chose to groom as POTUS, and they have perfected the election fraud and got him elected twice.
shanimal on February 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Don’t forget that 99.9% of all “historians” voted for Dear Leader. They would rather be waterboarded than be bothered with Inconvenient Truths about The First Half-Black President in the history of the world.
Don’t worry, O’bama’s “Legacy” is safe, for at least a half a century. It will take a generation of yet unborn “historians” to see thru the bias and fog that’s been swirling around him since 2007.
Del Dolemonte on February 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Ben was arrested and is waiting trial in a federal jail.
End of story.
Electrongod on February 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
I think The Onion had the wrong person.
bsinc1962 on February 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
My politics don’t consist of divesting individuals of their bill of rights. Go f yourself.
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
The matriarch of the democratic-liberal-media-entertainment complex emerges to issue a few head pats.
ted c on February 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Hey skank, half the country hates you. Go away. Tired of having to windex my TV everytime you muck it up.
msupertas on February 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Umm being a Senator and a President involves work!! Michelle Obama is not interested in these things. She likes being queen.
Illinidiva on February 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
You’re a thief, plain and simple. POS.
BierManVA on February 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
I certainly hope that they weren’t given a choice – choosing to assist obama with his agenda of destruction is a blatant, and unforgivable act of treason against the United States.
Pork-Chop on February 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Dr. Zira presented last night?
shanimal on February 25, 2013 at 11:04 AM
Speak for yourself. Ugh.
KS Rex on February 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
And the award for most inane and pointless whine of the year* goes to…
Allahpundit!
(In all fairness…it’s only February.)
But AP deserves credit for inspiring some truly entertaining ‘what they’re really thinking and why they’re really doing this!’ theories.
verbaluce on February 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
Maybe, she couldn’t see them..?
Fallon on February 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
See my response to CH and apply it to yourself – thx.
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
Don’t cry for me Argotina!
BobMbx on February 25, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Resist We Much on February 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM
You can justify dishonesty and thievery anyway you like. But it doesn’t change the fact that it is still a crime.
I don’t go to certain movies out of principal but I certainly wouldn’t watch a pirated version of it either.
BierManVA on February 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Well dang, I missed the whole thing! I don’t care if/if not mo does this, I don’t watch her or that lying worm husband she has!
L
letget on February 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM
classic insecure celebrity syndrome. She a middle age rich woman who has had a bunch of cosmetic surgury and lots of free time to spend with a government paid personal trainer. Now she wants attention so she can flaunt it.
tommyboy on February 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Close the evillll corporate jet “loophole” to avoid world ending sequester. ‘Lincoln’ netted $3.5Mil in tax breaks (via Breitbart). Thats a tax break – aka spawn of the devil to all liberals (aka entire room of OSCAR attendees). Think of millions of schookids sitting in portable trailers thanks to the movies not paying their fair share
drivingtheview on February 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM
They sure like to use Service members as props.
Dingbat63 on February 25, 2013 at 11:10 AM
Also, the Oscars made sure to name and show Rahm Emanuel’s brother, who is a big agent, right before this first lady thing.
But, a first lady doesn’t = a POTUS. Current or past. Spielberg won that one.
Moesart on February 25, 2013 at 11:12 AM
For some reason? I’ll give you a reason…both she and her husband are shameless opportunists, that’s why.
scalleywag on February 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM
I torrent my movies or TV shows I want. Then I watch them, and delete them usually.
Make away yourself.
antisense on February 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM
And firemen. And first responders. And children. And doctors. There’s no limit for the shameless opportunists!
scalleywag on February 25, 2013 at 11:14 AM
Ok, well then I’ll look forward to reading your preening, self-righteous rejoinders to all of those soon-to-be criminals on here who vow to disregard any new gun control laws.
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 11:14 AM
Bah. I can’t get too worked up about this if I apply my usual standard: how would I feel if it was the wife of a republican president? I wouldn’t care and I don’t care about this, either. But I don’t care about the Academy Awards in general, so there you have it. Industrial strength DGAS.
Bob's Kid on February 25, 2013 at 11:14 AM
I always thought it had something to do with this ancient TV show, the Jeffersons or some such thing. Finally getting their piece of the pie?
antisense on February 25, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Next year, the Oscar trophy will be cast in the image of The One himself…
Wyznowski on February 25, 2013 at 11:15 AM
You’ll recall that DADT was repealed, no?
Cleombrotus on February 25, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Another propaganda sop to Dear Leader, Harvey ‘Leni Riefenstahl’ Weinstein writes Mooch into the show.
LizardLips on February 25, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Are those service members packing the weapon overwhelmingly utilized in most murders of minorities, women, & children??
drivingtheview on February 25, 2013 at 11:17 AM
So what did this little stunt cost us?
sandee on February 25, 2013 at 11:19 AM
It must have been devastating to her not to give the award to a spike lee movie.
rjoco1 on February 25, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Sounds like a job for Bmore’s photoshopping skills.
Fallon on February 25, 2013 at 11:19 AM
So glad I watched hockey and The Walking Dead even though last night episode was kind of boring compared to most.
gsherin on February 25, 2013 at 11:20 AM
The Political Left and the Cultural Left own American culture.
Last night they felt comfortable enough in that ownership to come out of the closet together.
There is now escape, no respite.
While Big Brother may not yet be watching you, He is making damn sure that even at your leisure you are watching Him.
Bruno Strozek on February 25, 2013 at 11:21 AM
This groan from the House White briefing room was picked up on Michelle’s hot mic
drivingtheview on February 25, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Inspired? I’m inspired by these self-congratulation brats to never watch the Oscars, and buy my DVDs used so Hollywood doesn’t make a dime from me.
I wonder if next year there will be a special Oscar for Michelle’s ‘performance’ at this year’s ceremony.
This stuff could gag a maggot.
Liam on February 25, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Hollywood has such an unhealthy obsession with monarchy.
KingGold on February 25, 2013 at 11:23 AM
My proud ownership of male genitalia precludes the possibility of viewing Hollywood self-adorations. Apparently, this policy has spared me a di**-shrivelling moment.
M240H on February 25, 2013 at 11:24 AM
I just listened to Anne Hornaday, one of the Washington Post’s film critics, on the radio recapping the Oscars. By the way, she’s not known for hiding her liberal biases under a bushel. She said this was the strangest moments of the Oscars and made her uncomfortable, especially with the sequester fight looming and possibility of major job losses. She said this could be perceived as a Marie Antoinette moment.
Vera71 on February 25, 2013 at 11:28 AM
take look at a similar event here. Of course, the UK is a monarchy.
Who now believes that Hollywood is not state-controlled?
virgo on February 25, 2013 at 11:30 AM
FIFY
You shouldn’t have to go anywhere. Just because Peter Mayhew’s doppelganger shows up at a festival of cinematic self-love doesn’t mean that they should be allowed to get away with their coup d’tait.
turfmann on February 25, 2013 at 11:30 AM
Hollywood is not something I follow. All I can say is this.
Bmore on February 25, 2013 at 11:32 AM
I’m with @Brat. They look conspicuously like actors. Military members in dress uniform and at a formal WH function wouldn’t be smiling and staring with ga-ga eyes at MO. My first impression is that they look like poseurs.
conservative pilgrim on February 25, 2013 at 11:33 AM
Frame it! That was my first thought when I saw the picture of MO.
conservative pilgrim on February 25, 2013 at 11:34 AM
@Bmore—
And I feel the same way about Hollywood. But really, is anyone surprised at this relationship? I don’t watch the garbage out of Hollywood or give them my money.
conservative pilgrim on February 25, 2013 at 11:35 AM
oops, my bad after further reading I see that Mooch wasn’t actually at the Oscars….
sandee on February 25, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Too bad he wasn’t born in some African country where he’d have a birthright to royalty…
Nutstuyu on February 25, 2013 at 11:40 AM
So you have no problem admitting (bragging really) to violating the DMCA on a public forum? And you went to a “top tier” law school? I’m sure that the Board of Law Examiners in your state might have a differing opinion on your actions and choices. It would be much wiser to keep that information which should be kept private, private.
volnation on February 25, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Every pirated movie I’ve ever seen has a giant “FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION” pop-up throughout the movie. This means they are made from the advance copies studios give out for screenings, promotion etc. These are insider copies and they should stop complaining and better police themselves.
monalisa on February 25, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Ok, now that one really did make me LoL.
It’s so funny to hear the lengths the media will go to to make her seem pretty and elegant because she’s a black Democrat FLOTUS. The only thing more masculine than her facial features is her linebacker frame.
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Jumping the shark yet again. When will the average Obama voter start projectile vomiting over their incessant narcissism?
John the Libertarian on February 25, 2013 at 11:48 AM
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Or her 5 o’clock shadow.
monalisa on February 25, 2013 at 11:51 AM
Why not? FLOTUS meets Hollywood. This administration is a fantasy as well.
GarandFan on February 25, 2013 at 11:52 AM
You have me confused with that liberal impostor, crr6.
crrr6 on February 25, 2013 at 11:52 AM
Never! They feed and thrive off of each other.
Brat on February 25, 2013 at 11:52 AM
Odd how this doesn’t remind me of the time they asked Laura Bush to present an award.
rrpjr on February 25, 2013 at 11:53 AM
What, they couldn’t get David Niven’s fridge?
Ward Cleaver on February 25, 2013 at 11:53 AM
But why?
ladyingray on February 25, 2013 at 11:55 AM
…there is NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT to the first couple!…(besides golf…and vacations).
KOOLAID2 on February 25, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Lot’s of Oscars coverage in out lefty local newspaper in Olympia WA. Not one word on Celebrity FLOTUS appearance.
They must know just how baldly this exposes her ‘Maire Antoinette’ Obama persona, and they have no way to spin it as ‘magical’. No way to counter the words that first pop to mind, such as: upstaging, tawdry, fawning, tarnishing, tinpot, cheap, gaudy, flashy, showy, tasteless, crude, flamboyant, shameless . . . Harvey might have suggested it, but Mo could have turned it down — as any FLOTUS of integrity would have. That she didn’t tells me all I need to know about her.
And if one thin dime of taxpayer money was spent on this, I want her brought up on charges of wasting government resources.
starboardhelm on February 25, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Wow, you’re so cool. Do you torrent groceries into your backpack and stroll out of the store without paying, too?
John the Libertarian on February 25, 2013 at 12:07 PM
The Obamas seem intent on intruding into every aspect of our lives…
zoyclem on February 25, 2013 at 12:11 PM
Was there a tribute to Star Wars that I missed?
can_con on February 25, 2013 at 12:14 PM
See “Free Culture” by Lawrence Lessig for the best counterargument. Stealing groceries makes someone else own less of them. Stealing a digital copy does not decrease the owner’s capitalization; in fact, in case of music, it makes the performers marginally richer by increasing their popularity.
Copying was made a crime because the Congress was bribed into legislating a previously legit act as a crime. Same is happening now to rifle ownership. But I’m sure you approve of that one, too. Right?
Archivarix on February 25, 2013 at 12:14 PM
re: the argument upthread, I don’t get people trying to say pirating movies is OK.
Right. Not to mention that my principles are supposed to cost me something or else they don’t mean much. If I feel morally obligated to not support a certain artist or whatever, that means I miss out on enjoying the movie. I don’t steal their investment and intellectual property to “honor my principles”. I make them sacrifice for my honor? Makes no sense.
And all due respect, there’s really no justifying it. Those trying to justify it would see it more clearly if they were the ones spending thousands and sometimes millions to invest bringing a CD or movie to life, only to have people steal their work with no compunction.
And protecting our Second Amendment constitutional rights through (future) civil disobedience against unjust laws that take away that right, isn’t at all the same thing as stealing someone else’s work, and I suspect crrr6 knows it.
inviolet on February 25, 2013 at 12:15 PM
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