Quotes of the day

posted at 10:41 pm on February 19, 2013 by Allahpundit

The leading Republican on the issue is Senator Marco Rubio, R-Fla., and his office told reporters today that they’ve had no consultation with the White House on the issue of immigration.

“President Obama and the White House staff are not working with Republicans on immigration reform,” Rubio spokesman Alex Conant said in an email to reporters. “Senator Rubio’s office has never discussed immigration policy with anyone in the White House.”

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney disputed that. “We have been in contact with everybody involved in this effort on Capitol Hill,” he said.

***

A lot of people are noticing that Marco Rubio’s immigration reform plan has a lot in common with President Obama’s immigration reform plan, which Rubio denounced as “half-baked.” This is not good for Rubio, who is almost certainly running for president in 2016 (if you need further evidence, check out the tour of the Middle East he’s on right now) and would need to keep conservative voters happy to make it through the primary. So Rubio’s office is insisting the two plans are not alike at all — and their offices haven’t even spoken.

***

President Obama did some political outreach Tuesday, phoning key Republican senators on immigration.

Obama spoke with a former GOP presidential candidate — Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz. — and perhaps a future one, Sen. Marco Rubio, R-S.C.

“The President reiterated that he remains supportive of the effort underway in Congress, and that he hopes that they can produce a bill as soon as possible that reflects shared core principles on reform,” said a White House statement…

Rubio spokesman Alex Conant said the senator “appreciated receiving President Obama’s phone call to discuss immigration reform late tonight in Jerusalem. The Senator told the President that he feels good about the ongoing negotiations in the Senate, and is hopeful the final product is something that can pass the Senate with strong bipartisan support.”

***

A draft of the White House immigration bill was leaked over the weekend, detailing a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants that would take about 13 years after the passage of the bill to complete, policy experts say…

Overall, the draft bill’s path to legalization is essentially in line with the proposal by the Senate’s bipartisan Gang of Eight, with one big exception. The Senate plan makes legalization contingent on “securing the border” according to benchmarks that have yet to be laid out in detail. President Obama has refused such requirements.

That conflict over border security has been a sore spot for Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), who blasted the White House draft bill over the weekend as “half baked.” But policy experts and advocates believe that Obama and the Senate gang are far closer than the rhetoric suggests. “I don’t think fundamentally there is that much difference among these proposals,” says Chishti.

***

Both Rubio and Obama, for instance, support special pathways to residency for those students and soldiers who were brought illegally to this country as children. In the White House draft legislation, the proposal closely resembles what’s known as the DREAM Act…

Also the [White House] draft bills obtained by The Herald and USA Today show that, contrary to Rubio’s concern, the plan wouldn’t give illegal immigrants a chance to obtain citizenship before those who lawfully entered the country…

Aside from the emphasis on border security, there appears to be relatively little in the White House draft proposals that conflicts with what Rubio wants…

U.S. Rep. Joe Garcia, a Democrat from Miami, said the president’s proposal is “a good place to start. It encompasses everything Rubio’s talking about. Except it has Obama’s name on it.”

***

Not wanting to be seen as a shill for a Democratic President’s signature achievement, Rubio’s strategy from the start has been to play up his differences with the White House as much as possible. This weekend’s outburst was only the latest incident: in interviews with the Wall Street Journal, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and other conservative thought leaders, Rubio has positioned himself as the right-wing antidote to a far-left White House on immigration.

This touring indignation act isn’t just for Rubio’s own benefit. The Republicans he needs to win over to pass a bill will be a lot more comfortable if they think they’re somehow thumbing their nose at Obama by voting for it. We’ve seen this dynamic on other issues in recent weeks, most notably the debt ceiling, where conservative Republicans delivered a lot of macho partisan talk about a bill that was objectively a huge cave to the White House. If a compromise bill ends up passing, expect to see a lot of statements from Republicans supporters about how they stopped some non-existent White House “amnesty” bill.

***

“An Obama plan, led and driven by Obama in this atmosphere, with the level of hostility toward the president and the way he goads the hostility, I think it is very hard to imagine that bill, that his bill is going to pass the House,” Gingrich said. But he added that a bill originating in the Senate “could actually get to the president’s desk.”

I believe Gingrich is right. Republican members of Congress have shown a willingness, even an eagerness, to vote against measures that they themselves have sponsored in the past — if Obama is now proposing them.

So if the president really wants immigration reform to pass, one of the most helpful things he could do is put out his own plan as a decoy, to draw Republican fire, while the Senate works toward bipartisan consensus. Which looks suspiciously like what just happened.

***

The “backup plan” stuff is nonsense — the point of leaking the [White House] bill is to enable Rubio to say that his amnesty plan is waaay different from the dastardly Obama plan, even though they’re identical in the only respect that matters: amnesty immediately for all illegal aliens, with work cards, Social Security numbers, driver’s licenses, the right to travel abroad and return, etc. The president has repeatedly said he wants to stand back and let Congress come up with a bill because if he were to send one to Congress it would be toxic for Republicans — i.e., those Republicans who desperately want to sell out their constituents by backing amnesty but are afraid of the voter backlash. The Rubio and Ryan criticisms of the proposed bill sound almost as though they were scripted by Schumer and White House to make the Senate Gang of Eight scheme seem more palatable to such Republicans…

This whole gambit is so transparent even Talking Points Memo is commenting on it. Immigration hawks would do well not to get sucked into this phony controversy. Obama’s bill is Rubio’s bill.

***

The only real difference between Obama and Rubio appears to be whether or not a border security “trigger” should be met before those here illegally now could become citizens. But even this is not that big a deal. White House spokesman Josh Earnest has already admitted that while Obama does not prefer a trigger, he will sign a bill that contains one.

And Obama’s willingness to include a trigger is not surprising, considering how utterly worthless any such measure would be. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., conceded as much last week when he told Univision that the satisfaction of any trigger requirement would ultimately be up to whoever was Department of Homeland Security Secretary at the time. And how secure does Secretary Janet Napolitano think our border is now? “Our borders have, in fact, never been stronger,” she testified to Congress last week.

Either Rubio is trying to lay the groundwork for pulling out of the Gang of Ocho immigration group, or amnesty is already a done deal.

***

I’m not usually a conspiracy theorist, but it’s hard not to see at least a shadow of a good-cop/bad-cop routine in the reaction of the Gang of Eight to President Obama’s leaked blueprint for “comprehensive immigration reform.” Obama’s plan differs in largely trivial ways from the gang of Eight’s proposal — it would allow illegal immigrants to apply for permanent-residence status after eight years on probationary status, whereas the Gang of Eight’s proposal makes the transition from probationary status to permanent-residence status conditional on a yet-to-be-named commission certifying that the border is secure. That distinction is all but irrelevant in the practical realm. Both proposals send the message to intending illegal aliens that the U.S. is still doling out amnesties — and the most important amnesty is the immediate probationary status in both plans that immunizes illegal aliens already here from enforcement (and that grants them legal presence inside the country ahead of intending legal immigrants still waiting outside the country for permission to enter). The chance that under either the Gang of Eight or Obama’s plan an illegal alien on probationary status will lose that status, short of committing a heinous crime, is zero. However much it might hurt Americans’ feelings, American citizenship is not a high priority for Hispanic immigrants, legal and illegal, who have historically had a very low rate of naturalization. Only Proposition 187 in California increased Hispanics’ naturalization rate. And the difference between probationary status and permanent residency under the Gang of Eight’s proposal does not appear to be particularly significant, either…

The other important message that both plans send out is to illegal-alien advocates in the U.S.: protest works. Since the 2006 spring amnesty protests, the delegitimizing of enforcement has only gathered steam. Do not expect enforcement to become relegitimized after the next amnesty; rather, it will become even more stigmatized as unfair to its targets and a separator of families.

***

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

***

Via Newsbusters.


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Holes in head, still wonderful.

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 12:23 AM

I wish them all ill.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:16 AM

Yep. Pretty much every last one.

Bmore on February 20, 2013 at 12:23 AM

I wish them all ill.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:16 AM

Did you see how THRILLED Yahoo news was to report that story.

LET THE CIRCULAR FIRING SQUAD BEGIN!!!!

WryTrvllr on February 20, 2013 at 12:23 AM

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:21 AM

Thank gawd. so the glade trolls are real bridge trolls not libtard trolls. good to know.

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:24 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:20 AM

Oh I thought it was like a fantasy pick…

I don’t have anyone in mind yet, I am waiting and seeing…

Now if you pinched me I would have to go with…

Oh this is tough!

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:24 AM

What kind of cake is BMore having tonight.

+1 block for Axe to compile.

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:25 AM

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:12 AM

Good evening..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:25 AM

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:24 AM

Don’t make me pinch you!

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:25 AM

McCain urged compassion. “We are a Judeo-Christian nation,” he said.

At this rate soon it will be a muzzie world. Amnesty will open the borders for all comers, especially those who wish for the land’s demise.

This s/b illegal in the first place, to pay welfare to illegals.

Now the gov’t promotes continuation of the fees/services, after amnesty.

Pitchfork all your politicians, for they sell you to to the world, from the left to the right, for different reasons. Above all they only look out for themselves and don’t represent you.

Also, starve the Looters/moochers.

You can’t sustain amnesty and welfare in one state.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

ROTFLMAO… Oh would the heads be exploding if California made the mistake of electing me Governor. First thing I would do as Governor is go on such an EPIC Firing rampage that it would make Donald Trump look like he wanted to hire every person he ever met.

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:16 AM

That must have been a raucous town hall. McCain is insulated, as is all of Congress, and town halls are a needed dose of reality to remind them that people don’t stand in awe or agreement.

McCain is one of the ones who should be forced to hold one every other week.

INC on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

Ken is right, Chrissy. Not one you want, but those who you think will end up as pub and dem nominees.

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

I wish them all ill.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:16 AM

Gotta agree with you on that one…

It is fracked up!

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:27 AM

Good evening all. We’ve reached the end of a terrible, no good, awful, very bad day. Just glad its’ over and praying for a fresh, start tomorrow.

My self-imposed rule is to post one ON-topic comment before chatting, but not up to it tonight. Just want to say hello and head to bed so that tomorrow can hurry up and get here.

Cheers and goodnight peeps!

Jackalope on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 12:23 AM

Figure out who Chrissy is yet?

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

Reminds me of the PALINATOR!! ;-D

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

The son of an illegal immigrant asks his dad, “Dad,
what’s democracy?”
“Well, son, that’s when the British work and we
get all the benefits from it!”
“But Dad, aren’t the British people unhappy
about that?”
“Sure they are son, but that’s called racism.’

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Last time I looked you had to be a legal resident to join the military.

chemman on February 19, 2013 at 11:15 PM

.
Same thing applies to VOTING, but they somehow seem to get around that.

listens2glenn on February 19, 2013 at 11:23 PM

Nope. You need not be a citizen to join. When I served I served with some Puerto Ricoans. They could gain citizenship by serving 8 years and made a lot less. They said you could join from other countries as well.

Few states check citizenship when registering. But so what Democrats are proud of voting 2-6 times each election.

Steveangell on February 20, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Good Evening Jackalope!

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Jackalope on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

God Bless and keep you all safe and well!!

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:30 AM

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

Reminds me of the PALINATOR!! ;-D

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

One find inspiration wherever they find it… ;)

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:30 AM

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:24 AM

Yes, indeed.

However, I noted an invasive species trying to infest the Glade waterways the other evening… and I’m weighing appointing a Game Warden. Someone to be in charge of the Glade’s fish and wildlife.

I’m thinking that Bmore might be the best choice for such a position.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:31 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

Indeed.

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:26 AM

I saw that quote. Rule of law came to mind. It’s tiresome, not to mention wrong, that the politicians pull that propaganda stunt of trying to cherry pick what they want and transfer the authority of Christianity to their policies. If McCain read his Bible he would know that the role of government is to bear the sword and punish evil. Individuals are called to compassion.

INC on February 20, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Zing. Good one Schad. perfect.

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

And Scrumpy, choose wisely. You’re going on my list. And when the nominees are finally picked, we’re gonna come back here and exchange notes. And if I’m alive then, drinks are on me. I still can’t believe that one of the peeps picked Boehner. And I know that hes lurking here right now. I can just sense it. Lol

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Excellent.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

I’m thinking that Bmore might be the best choice for such a position.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Wise choice, Moon Goddess.

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

The son of an illegal immigrant asks his dad, “Dad,
what’s democracy?”
“Well, son, that’s when the British work and we
get all the benefits from it!”
“But Dad, aren’t the British people unhappy
about that?”
“Sure they are son, but that’s called racism.’

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:29 AM

You are so right on!! I read a piece today about that Chroudry muzzie talking about how welfare in the UK was Jihad money!!

Wake UP my British People!!

PS We need to wake up as well…

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:33 AM

I’m thinking that Bmore might be the best choice for such a position.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:31 AM

yes. HE WOULD BE PERFECT. Ya know he loved to feed fish bread balls. Well some fish. Anyway he knows wood. For Sure.

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:33 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:15 AM

Good evening..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:33 AM

Jackalope on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM

I’m sorry you had a terrible day—hope tomorrow is better.

INC on February 20, 2013 at 12:33 AM

BMORE FOR Game Warden.

*keeps fingers crossed*

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:34 AM

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

Will do my good man!!

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Bmore on February 20, 2013 at 12:20 AM

Good evening..All is well..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM

Nite, Jackalope. And baby Jackalope.

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM

I wish them what they deserve.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:18 AM

Hi Jackie

I can live with that. “Ill” can mean a lot of things. I wish them painful demise. They all destroy the once good land. Each one was elected. May they spontaneously combust for not upholding the oath the swore to and for dereliction.

McCain is one of the worst. I used to honor his service. I have given up on that a long time ago.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Thirded etc!

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM

Bmore on February 20, 2013 at 12:23 AM

Bmore, I’d like very much to appoint you the Glade’s Game Warden, in charge of fish and wildlife management. There has been some evidence recently that an invasive species has been trying to infiltrate the waters of the Glade. I think you’re the natural pick for the position, since I’m familiar with your work with fish and wildlife.

Think it over, and get back to me at your leisure. :)

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:36 AM

BMORE FOR Game Warden.

*keeps fingers crossed*

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Oh dear… such a ringing endorsement… You haven’t caught him eying your fire extinguisher have you? o_O

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM

So did he.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Swine all around, with sincere apologies to the clean pigs.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

Who would pick Boehner? or is it hush hush… ;-D

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

Bmore on February 20, 2013 at 12:20 AM

Good evening..All is well..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM


Good evening dire…

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

I think SW would be a great Gov. of Cali. I’ve seen your comments on various threads, dude. You’re wiser than you think you are. Don’t underestimate yourself. :-)

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

Bmore, I’d like very much to appoint you the Glade’s Game Warden, in charge of fish and wildlife management. There has been some evidence recently that an invasive species has been trying to infiltrate the waters of the Glade. I think you’re the natural pick for the position, since I’m familiar with your work with fish and wildlife.

Think it over, and get back to me at your leisure. :)

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:36 AM

I don’t know about you guys, but I am overcome by emotions. I hope he says yes!

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

I think SW would be a great Gov. of Cali. I’ve seen your comments on various threads, dude. You’re wiser than you think you are. Don’t underestimate yourself. :-)

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

I try not to take myself to seriously, my ego is big enough as it is… ;p

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:40 AM

Chrissy, its hush-hush. Sorry. :-)

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:40 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

:) Perhaps we can persuade him. I’d be willing to conjure up special equipment, custom made to his specifications, transportation, as well as a wonderful uniform and hat… and of course… a Game Warden’s badge, too.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

I’m calling it a night My Hot Air Family. Any time spent with you folks is time well spent! Sleep well!

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

http://youtu.be/RHTj0cU52-g

enjoy csny

Fred

jrsrigmvr on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Why???..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

:) Perhaps we can persuade him. I’d be willing to conjure up special equipment, custom made to his specifications, transportation, as well as a wonderful uniform and hat… and of course… a Game Warden’s badge, too.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Hmmm, I could probably even scrounge up a genuine Potato gun for him… ;)

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:42 AM

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:38 AM

Good evening..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:42 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Goodnight, Ken. A pleasure, as always. Sleep well. :)

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:42 AM

Nite, Ken. Sleep well, stud. ;-)

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:43 AM

I’m calling it a night My Hot Air Family. Any time spent with you folks is time well spent! Sleep well!

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Good night Ken…

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:43 AM

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:42 AM

LOL! Now that should certainly sweeten the deal. I don’t see how he could refuse us.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:43 AM

Take care Jackalope

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:44 AM

Bye, Ken.

INC on February 20, 2013 at 12:44 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM

It’s fracking disgustin’ is what it is…

I am gobsmacked…

What more is there to say?

(Shaking my head)

This country is doomed… Law abiding people are so doomed.

I have thought (spitefully) that maybe we should all just quit what we do all get on the dole…make it collapse so fast the gov’t won’t know what hit them…

It would mean severe heartache at the material losses…

I am sick and tired of always turning the other cheek, but I do.
And pray for forgiveness for what I wish on these swine…

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:45 AM

Scrumpy, lookie here…coming to America soon enough

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:45 AM

Rusty, you’re awfully quiet. You there?

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:45 AM

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Why???..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

ROTFLMAO… very good question… ;)

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:45 AM

KCB on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Sweet goodnight Ken!! God Bless

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:46 AM

jrsrigmvr on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Here is some nice fender work..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:46 AM

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Good evening, Dire! Great to see you this evening. :)

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:47 AM

SW, you still working on the Corvette? And you want to sell it? What model, how many miles and how much?

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:48 AM

Axefellow, should you see this… I’d like to get some information from you about the way the BIOS system works. Specifically, what happens when a person ‘flashes’ the BIOS, like with an upgrade, for instance. I know that each ‘block’ is erased and replaced. I have an idea for a script and would appreciate your particular insight. :)

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:49 AM

Scrumpy, lookie here…coming to America soon enough

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 12:45 AM

Yes yes yes! It was your linky I read earlier today!

Unfrackingbelieveable…

No one does anything to stop this mad man!

Then he says “oh hey I was joking”… taqiyya anyone?

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:50 AM

SW, you still working on the Corvette? And you want to sell it? What model, how many miles and how much?

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:48 AM

1984, doesn’t have the original engine, don’t know the “Real” mileage, the Odometer claims around 97,000. I replaced the engine a few years back with a Pro Speed Shop Crate that put’s out 355hp, and that has under 10,000 on it. I’ve been asking $3000.00

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:51 AM

Bwaaaahhh the Big Red Button is back. No kidding.

SparkPlug on February 20, 2013 at 12:53 AM

‘Researchers have developed a cocktail of alcohol metabolising enzymes that quickly reduces blood alcohol levels. Its a new alcohol busting drug that helps one sober up in seconds’. Thats good news, I guess, especially for the families of drunks. Can get the person to sober down immediately. :-)

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:54 AM

O/T Do I care? Lol

Joke:
Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 12:56 AM

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:54 AM

So, now we can have a whole new sort of alcoholic. One who is sober, but has his alcohol fix… or perhaps just a lot more sober, ergo cranky, would be drunks.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:57 AM

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 12:46 AM

thanks dire.
how ’bout this one?

Fred

jrsrigmvr on February 20, 2013 at 12:58 AM

‘Researchers have developed a cocktail of alcohol metabolising enzymes that quickly reduces blood alcohol levels. Its a new alcohol busting drug that helps one sober up in seconds’. Thats good news, I guess, especially for the families of drunks. Can get the person to sober down immediately. :-)

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:54 AM

Man, wish I could afford that stuff, I like to drink my beer, but I’m not overly found of getting drunk.

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 12:59 AM

True dat, Jackie. Lol

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 12:59 AM

Taliban Jokes:

You know you’re Taliban if…

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a $3000 machine gun and $5000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You’ve often uttered the phrase, ‘I love what you’ve done with your cave.’

You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

You’ve ever had a crush on your neighbour’s goat.

Q.What’s the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?

A.In America, humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it’s the other way around.

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 AM

Thanks for the Corvette info, SW.

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 AM

Arrières-pensées, ulterior motives from all politicians – the bastids need to be sent packing. They don’t represent their constituents, nor the land, just the ones who stuff their pockets and the harlots on the dole, for votes.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 AM

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:57 AM

I resemle that remark!

Fred

jrsrigmvr on February 20, 2013 at 1:02 AM

I’m here, I was driving.

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 1:02 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 AM

Bravo!

You get my anger on nicely!! :-)

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 1:02 AM

Super secret Chrissy is here too.

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 1:02 AM

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 AM

Not to forget

You believe in 72 virgins, after death.

May the ants eat them all, alive.

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 1:03 AM

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 12:47 AM

Good evening..Hope everything is “blue skies” for you..:):)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 1:04 AM

Thanks for the Corvette info, SW.

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 AM

No worries, if you’re in SoCal, have a trailer and want it, we can work something out… ;p

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 1:04 AM

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 1:03 AM

hahahahahaha…

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 1:04 AM

Virgin eating ants?

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 1:05 AM

jrsrigmvr on February 20, 2013 at 12:58 AM

???..Got a link??..:)

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Super secret Chrissy is here too.

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 1:02 AM

She is? Where…

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Unbelievable. ‘According to a recent Brit study, 45% of people admitted that they use phone calls, txt msgs, tweets and emails rather than bothering to go into the next room to talk to other members of their own household’. Man, thats what kind of life and society is that?

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 1:06 AM

Virgin eating ants?

Rusty Allen on February 20, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Nah, Taliban-eating-ants

Schadenfreude on February 20, 2013 at 1:07 AM

Dire Straits on February 20, 2013 at 1:04 AM

Thank you, Dire! And for you as well. :)

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 1:08 AM

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” He drops a large weight on Osama’s knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams “This is not what I was promised!”

An angel replies “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you, idiot. What did you think I said?”

Scrumpy on February 20, 2013 at 1:09 AM

Unbelievable. ‘According to a recent Brit study, 45% of people admitted that they use phone calls, txt msgs, tweets and emails rather than bothering to go into the next room to talk to other members of their own household’. Man, thats what kind of life and society is that?

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 1:06 AM

ROTFLMAO… Last time my sister came down to visit my little brother and I sat in the same room just 10 feet apart texting each other, cause it was the only way we could get a word in. Yea, my sis is one hell of a mother mouth… ;p

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 1:09 AM

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 1:06 AM

Isolated, lonely, and, apparently, afraid of any interpersonal communication.

thatsafactjack on February 20, 2013 at 1:09 AM

tommy71 on February 20, 2013 at 1:06 AM

ROTFLMAO… Last time my sister came down to visit my little brother and I sat in the same room just 10 feet apart texting each other, cause it was the only way we could get a word in. Yea, my sis is one hell of a mother mouth… ;p

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 1:09 AM

Opps, motor mouth, not mother mouth…

SWalker on February 20, 2013 at 1:10 AM

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