Finally. Research shows beer healthier than water

posted at 4:01 pm on February 9, 2013 by Jazz Shaw

We all knew it was true, but the Vast Vegan Conspiracy and their willing partners in the media were never open enough to investigate the situation honestly. Alcohol is good for you. In fact, it’s proof positive that God loves us and wants us to be happy. But now, at long last, the scientific community is coming around to see the light.

KANSAS CITY, Missouri – Forget water or Gatorade. The drink of choice to rehydrate after a workout is beer.

Researchers at Granada University in Spain found beer can help retain liquid better than water alone. The results were published in the British newspaper The Telegraph.

The study involved a group of students. They were asked to work out until their body temperature reached 104 degrees.

Researchers then gave beer to half of the students and water to the other half.

Not only did the beer rehydrate the test subjects better, but the alcohol apparently served as a minor pain reliever for the aches and stresses of working out. Of course, even the eggheads running this promising study failed to see the forest for the trees, missing the one obvious solution to the entire conundrum. If you just didn’t work out in the first place and stayed on the couch drinking beer, you would require neither hydration or pain relief. But we’ll clearly have to be patient and bring these people around one step at a time.

There are still other groups being shut out in the cold, though, even with this breakthrough scientific work. Where are the studies showing how healthy martinis are? I mean, beer is okay and all, but some of us prefer a nice cocktail. And I’m living proof that several martinis per day result in a perpetual, Adonis like physique. I wonder if I can get a government grant for some work in that field?


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I’m more athletic than I drink I am.

MechanicalBill on February 9, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Question: were the researchers drunk when they came up with this study?

Stoic Patriot on February 9, 2013 at 4:09 PM

Best part?

We payed for the study.

BobMbx on February 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM

We payed for the study.

BobMbx on February 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Money well spent…

kakypat on February 9, 2013 at 4:13 PM

And at the end of the 6th day, God created beer. When He saw that the beer was good, He declared the 7th day a day of rest, so that man could drink beer and rejoice in His love and goodness.

JimLennon on February 9, 2013 at 4:13 PM

My own personal research has finally been confirmed. Beer > water.

simkeith on February 9, 2013 at 4:13 PM

They said the bubbles in the beer help quench thirst while the carbohydrates help make up for burned calories.

One of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen come from a “study”. Ridiculous.

ButterflyDragon on February 9, 2013 at 4:18 PM

We should have elected McCain. Not only the country would be safer, richer, and generally better off, he would make one perfectly honest and enthusiastic advocate for increased beer consumption.

Archivarix on February 9, 2013 at 4:18 PM

Ayeah, that’s why innocent people have been killed because some oaf was drunk off his gourd on water as well as beer, and you can get a ‘water gut’ because of the empty calories from H20.

And we paid for this !!!

MelonCollie on February 9, 2013 at 4:21 PM

don’t worry, burp, this has been tried before

I do believe it depends on how you do, but beer, as Ben Franklin, didth say,
wait, wha? comma (swidt), is, to paraphrase, God loves us

Intellect or fisticuffs, your choice, but always agin our liberal betters.

Guess I take better care of my vehicles, pets, family and assorted without anything but love.
Sadly, in that order…
Burp.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 4:22 PM

i recently had to research vegan products for recipes i was formulating and came across the disturbing truth that while many beers are in fact vegan Guinness stout is not- because it uses a product called isinglass made from the swim bladders of fish. isinglass is used to clarify beers and wines.

i still think Guinness is Good for You.

mittens on February 9, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Time to test the theory and I’ll pay for it.

docflash on February 9, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Finally good news I can use. And I’m off to a Mardi Gras party this evening.

rbj on February 9, 2013 at 4:30 PM

Ale used to be a food staple in the Dark Ages. It was sweet, heavy and syrupy, filling, and contained less alcohol. I once had a Scottish ale that was so heavy it took me two hours to finish a pint. But it was so good!

They should have just opened a history book instead of doing another ‘study’.

Liam on February 9, 2013 at 4:30 PM

No kidding.

DarkCurrent on February 9, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Time to test the theory and I’ll pay for it.

docflash on February 9, 2013 at 4:28 PM

I have a 100oz jug from a Bucky’s gas station. Let me drink 100oz of water in one go (I do this fairly often) and let someone else refill it with their choice of alcohol and do the same.

Ten bucks says I won’t be the one worshiping the porcelain goddess in. Any takers?

MelonCollie on February 9, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Liam on February 9, 2013 at 4:30 PM

Excellent point. The beer of today is not the beer of yesteryear.

(btw – 2 hours for a pint? that stuff must have been like drinking maple syrup!!!)

MelonCollie on February 9, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Finally. Research shows beer healthier than water

…thank gawd!…who knew I’ve been on a health kick all these years!

KOOLAID2 on February 9, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Maybe this huangjiu comes from the Spring of Immortality

DarkCurrent on February 9, 2013 at 4:34 PM

(btw – 2 hours for a pint? that stuff must have been like drinking maple syrup!!!)

MelonCollie on February 9, 2013 at 4:33 PM

I’m not much of a beer drinker, and that ale was totally beyond my experience. But it did have a syrupy quality to it though it wasn’t thick like syrup. It sat like a brick; very filling!

Liam on February 9, 2013 at 4:39 PM

If this is true then explain this to me:
1. I drink beer, I burp like a pig
2. I drink beer, I peepee like a race horse
3. I drink beer, I would DEFINITELY have to work out to get rid of the gut I’ve developed from drinking the beer.
4. I drink too much beer, I have a headache from he!! the next day.
5. I too prefer a good cocktail, Crown Royal and water to be exact.
OK, tell me again about this study on beer? :)

sicoit on February 9, 2013 at 4:42 PM

Over/under on the amount of *clinks* on tonight’s QOTD?

I say 24.

22044 on February 9, 2013 at 4:43 PM

If you just didn’t work out in the first place and stayed on the couch drinking beer, you would require neither hydration or pain relief

…just because you haven’t watched sports…in my house!

KOOLAID2 on February 9, 2013 at 4:44 PM

One more step closer to making the Sleeper diet a reality.

Ed Driscoll on February 9, 2013 at 4:45 PM

sicoit on February 9, 2013 at 4:42 PM

You’re not doing it correctly. And burping is good as is garlic…

Go single malt scotch, or stay with vodka and get all your VitC along with the frozen ice.

No worries, just trying to lighten up the day.

We all need some levity from time to time.

Burps for beer are, sometimes a choice of celebration. Guinness is better warmish or in parts.
The thinner the tone, the more icy cold.

*burp*

Is there anything the pols won’t attempt? I think not.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 4:58 PM

That explains why I like liquor better than beer. I’m genetically predisposed to dislike anything healthy. I knew all along.

DFCtomm on February 9, 2013 at 4:59 PM

…also, remember the BS (bumper sticker, in this case)

Free healthcare, just wait ’til it’s free.

Sentiment approved, but not the phrase, so sorry about that.

Ah, the fruition of ‘told ya so’.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:03 PM

You’re not doing it correctly. And burping is good as is garlic…
Go single malt scotch, or stay with vodka and get all your VitC along with the frozen ice.
No worries, just trying to lighten up the day.
We all need some levity from time to time.
Burps for beer are, sometimes a choice of celebration. Guinness is better warmish or in parts.
The thinner the tone, the more icy cold.
*burp*
Is there anything the pols won’t attempt? I think not.
mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Pffffttttt, problem is I don’t burp……I BELCH to the point where it actually hurts! You’re probably right, I’m doing something wrong…heh. Guess I’ll just have to keep working on it to improve. {{{BELCH}}}} Oops, gotta go pee again. BRB! :)

sicoit on February 9, 2013 at 5:04 PM

DFCtomm on February 9, 2013 at 4:59 PM

May you live far beyond your years…

I wish canopfor would have said that, ….

I hear “mind’s eye, theater of the mind” and so forth.

Good company here.

No worries.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:08 PM

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 4:58 PM

There’s a relatively new single malt whiskey called Hudson’s I read about today. It’s distilled in NY, the first distillery in the state in decades. What is different is they use new oak casks for aging, which gives a distinct flavor and aroma. They sell only 375ml bottles, and the whiskey is 92 proof. I saw one place online sells it for $45 a bottle.

Liam on February 9, 2013 at 5:12 PM

“Lips that touch wine, shall never touch mine.” But lips that drink beer can always come near.

Special Forces Grunt on February 9, 2013 at 5:13 PM

When I was a little fellow, growing up in FDR’s depression, my Father worked in a brewery. There were a lot of things we didn’t have but beer wasn’t one of them. I cut my eye teeth on beer and no I wasn’t drunk when I started school. I’ve continued and had at least my share through the years.

I am not now, nor have ever been over weight, had medical problems, or gotten into any difficulties related to alcohol. I’m drinking one as I type this.

I do dispute their findings. A beer after doing yard work on a hot day just makes me thirsty.

Remember the old saying “Blood is thicker than water and cheaper than beer”.

countrybumpkin on February 9, 2013 at 5:13 PM

New Research: Smoking is healthier than breathing air.

The Rogue Tomato on February 9, 2013 at 5:14 PM

Martin Luther would quip (while frequenting the tavern):
He who drinks much beer sleeps well; he who sleeps well does not sin; and he who does not sin goes to heaven.

MelonCollie on February 9, 2013 at 4:32 PM

I’ve known some folk who could chug that Bucky’s mug and not bat an eye – now or in the morning. And they could probably bench press you *and* your Bucky’s cup while doing so. (And, I would be really impressed if you could drink that much water without a couple of pauses – that’s 3 liters/3+ quarts.)

As far as a beer gut – that doesn’t come from drinking beer. Or, even, too much beer. It comes from drinking beer while sitting on your keister all flippin’ day.

What I want to know is what kind of beer it was? Heffeweissen? Pilsner? Lager? Ale? Bitters?

GWB on February 9, 2013 at 5:15 PM

Posted: 04/08/2011

Researchers at Granada University in Spain found beer can help retain liquid better than water alone.

We payed for the study.

BobMbx on February 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Money well spent…

kakypat on February 9, 2013 at 4:13 PM

Ayeah, that’s why innocent people have been killed because some oaf was drunk off his gourd on water as well as beer, and you can get a ‘water gut’ because of the empty calories from H20.

And we paid for this !!!

MelonCollie on February 9, 2013 at 4:21 PM

We paid for a study at a Spanish University?
/

Heh- and the article is from 2011.

CW on February 9, 2013 at 5:16 PM

stay with vodka and get all your VitC along with the frozen ice.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Potatoes are full of vitamin C?!? Or are you drinking that froo-froo vodka?

GWB on February 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM

sicoit on February 9, 2013 at 5:04 PM

.

Just waiting for the heavy hitters to get here. *!bishop*

Take care. I have to go (no, not pee like a racehorse).
Endless commentary about, beer.

Like is good for the living.
And that’s that. :D

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM

At last science has proved good for something.

So will beer now be sold at health food stores?

theCork on February 9, 2013 at 5:25 PM

Um no one is saying that beer is healthier than water. They simply found beer to be better at rehydrating people. Also, since this was done at a university in Spain, I don’t see how we paid for it.

TDSE on February 9, 2013 at 5:26 PM

As though I needed more convincing.

John the Libertarian on February 9, 2013 at 5:29 PM

Ah, oh well

stay with vodka and get all your VitC along with the frozen ice.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Potatoes are full of vitamin C?!? Or are you drinking that froo-froo vodka?

GWB on February 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM

the real answer here is Iodine for which potatoes are famine/famous.
One does not live by iodine alone, but you won’t live long with it.

I was referring to something, anything mixed with vodka (potato).

No umbrellas are required, though.

True, though, Iodine. You say po-…, I say po-…
let’s remember its a big source of.

There’s a dance part with Gene Wilder in there, somewhere.

Few know this. Christopher Walken dances in every movie he has ever been a part.

Try to contact your northeast folks to see how they’re doing.
TX smiles, *clink*, *burp*, would you excuse me — gotta go pee again.

Take good care.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Why do I have the feeling that the “Adonis physique” is viewed upside down?

Cleombrotus on February 9, 2013 at 5:32 PM

One does not live by iodine alone, but you won’t live long with it.
*without*

Do take good care though

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:32 PM

Cleombrotus on February 9, 2013 at 5:32 PM

funny bone. That’s good,C.

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:35 PM

The double blinds were conducted wearing beer goggles.

kregg on February 9, 2013 at 5:38 PM

Love the cat.

Cleombrotus on February 9, 2013 at 5:39 PM

If God had wanted us to drink beer He would have given us stomachs.

PortlandJon on February 9, 2013 at 5:39 PM

Another somewhat related “study” came out recently-apparently the Rocket Scientists doing said research concluded that one gets more drunk with mixed drinks made with diet sodas, as opposed to those made with “real” soda. Such as a rum and Coke made with Diet Coke.

Del Dolemonte on February 9, 2013 at 5:40 PM

Bloomberg to introduce 8 ounce containers only in 5-4-3-2……

Rovin on February 9, 2013 at 5:43 PM

We paid for a study at a Spanish University?
/

Heh- and the article is from 2011.

CW on February 9, 2013 at 5:16 PM

I guess Jazz needed some material to snark on, so he googled “beer is good for you” and found this.

22044 on February 9, 2013 at 5:46 PM

Coming soon to a spa near you: The Budweiser Workout Diet.

“Lift a few kegs for a healthy trim figure…”

Don L on February 9, 2013 at 5:54 PM

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Hehe. True on the mixing. (I prefer 1 part OJ to 3 parts vodka – just no open flames…..)

GWB on February 9, 2013 at 5:55 PM

At last science has proved good for something.

So will beer now be sold at health food stores?

theCork on February 9, 2013 at 5:25 PM

Well Michelle wants to force good health into our high schools–so with every condom they hand out a six-pac?(and a voter reg form)

Don L on February 9, 2013 at 5:58 PM

Don L on February 9, 2013 at 5:54 PM

See, the real problem is the ratio. If you spent two hours hefting full kegs about, then you could knock back a liter or two with no problem. But what to do with all the rest of that beer? If your friends all participate (hmmm… use a half-keg sort of like the old medicine ball routines? do not tap immediately) then you can knock back a keg. But what do you do with all the other kegs your friends hoisted? Somewhere you have to have guys like Norm, just to finish everything off.

GWB on February 9, 2013 at 5:59 PM

Hot Damn!!!

ted c on February 9, 2013 at 6:00 PM

Research news you can use….!!

ted c on February 9, 2013 at 6:01 PM

Pardon the lack of formatting
GWB on February 9, 2013 at 5:55 PM
dilute as seems according.

Del Dolemonte on February 9, 2013 at 5:40 PM
NIce comment about Gil Santos, recently. I don’t miss the snow, but it
always brought out something neighbor-like. I don’t miss it, save for autumn.
Diet soda, pfft. My very rare Coke is the Mexican form. Nice, memorable, with vanilla
and ice, but beer is better. Well, that and iced black coffee of all sorts.

Don L on February 9, 2013 at 5:54 PM
That’s no way to advise for beer drinking. Good concept, I guess.

Skinny as a rail, healthy too.

What’s a beer belly and/or a ‘drunk’, now, again?

Thanks to all of you.
Is 175lbs in a 6’2″ personage any stretch? Why, yes, yes it is.
More liike 160 these days. Tall, righteously indignant, too. Haha.

Here’s to drinking. Keep your heads in these tumultuous times.

ciao

mickytx on February 9, 2013 at 6:29 PM

They say that beer is one bad mother…
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I’m talkin’ ’bout beer.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

Paul-Cincy on February 9, 2013 at 6:51 PM

Sotally Tober, brah!

ahlaphus on February 9, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Old joke… A husband and wife are sitting on their front porch. The husband says “I love you”. The wife asks “Was that you or the beer talking?” To which the husband replies “That was me talking to the beer”.

So does this mean St. Patty’s Day is the healthiest day of them all?

ahlaphus on February 9, 2013 at 7:02 PM

I wonder if I can get a government grant for some work in that field?

Sorry to have to be the one to break the news to you Jazz, but Ted Kennedy already did that study… And spent all the Gin and Vodka grant a money long long time ago…

SWalker on February 9, 2013 at 7:08 PM

Best part?

We payed for the study.

BobMbx on February 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM

I know lots of runners who had a beer or two after a race. It is rich in b-vitamins and carbohydrates). It worked well for them in conjunction with water and sports drinks to recover more quickly. I didn’t need a study to tell me its benefits. That said I don’t use it because alcoholism runs in my family. Easier to use other re-hydration aids.

OTOH don’t neglect water it has many important functions in the body and alcohol does cause dehydration if that is all you use.

chemman on February 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM

Article is almost 2 years old, and it’s source 5 years.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3312579/Beer-after-sport-is-good-for-the-body.html

Slow news day? o.O

Oxymoron on February 9, 2013 at 7:53 PM

Love the cat.

Cleombrotus on February 9, 2013 at 5:39 PM

Wre you here a few years back? 9 hour thread with fools screaming that Ed tortured the cat. Truly hilarious!

katy the mean old lady on February 9, 2013 at 7:58 PM

OTOH don’t neglect water it has many important functions in the body and alcohol does cause dehydration if that is all you use.

chemman on February 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM

Odd story….. My dad drank beer fairly regularly (like two an evening, usually, and several on Saturday if he worked outside). He also had a problem with kidney stones. One day he decided he should probably drink a lot less beer and began cutting it out of his routine. He developed a massive bout of kidney stones. The doctor chatted with him and his beer non-drinking came up. As they discussed things, the doctor finally asked him “Did you bother to replace the beer with anything? Like water?” Moral of the story? Drinking beer is better than getting dehydrated. ;)

GWB on February 9, 2013 at 8:07 PM

Love the cat.

Cleombrotus on February 9, 2013 at 5:39 PM

Wre you here a few years back? 9 hour thread with fools screaming that Ed tortured the cat. Truly hilarious!

katy the mean old lady on February 9, 2013 at 7:58 PM

What idiots, everybody knows that is Allahpundits cat, and Allahpundits beer, and cigarets… ;p

SWalker on February 9, 2013 at 8:09 PM

Question: were the researchers drunk when they came up with this study?

Stoic Patriot on February 9, 2013 at 4:09 PM

.
Thread winner.

Also, I’ll be sticking with my water (from the kitchen faucet, no less)

Maybe the occasional Gator-Ade (or other sodium, and phosphate replenishing beverage).

listens2glenn on February 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Alas, that Franklin quote is actually a misquote. Here’s the original from wikiquote:

We hear of the conversion of water into wine at the marriage in Cana as of a miracle. But this conversion is, through the goodness of God, made every day before our eyes. Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards; there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy. The miracle in question was only performed to hasten the operation, under circumstances of present necessity, which required it.
Letter to Abbé Morellet (1779).

JimC on February 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM

If God had wanted us to drink beer He would have given us stomachs.

PortlandJon on February 9, 2013 at 5:39 PM

.
Also, better livers.

listens2glenn on February 9, 2013 at 9:00 PM

Also, I’ll be sticking with my water (from the kitchen faucet, no less)

Maybe the occasional Gator-Ade (or other sodium, and phosphate replenishing beverage).

listens2glenn on February 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Hydration rocks! I probably drink a gallon or more each day!

22044 on February 9, 2013 at 9:30 PM

Drinking problem:

Two hands and only one mouth…

hillbillyjim on February 9, 2013 at 10:17 PM

I have been telling people this for years. Plus, beer is a fitting reward for a hard 12 ounce curl workout.

ghostwalker1 on February 9, 2013 at 11:34 PM

It must be true! It’s a scientific study…y’know like global warming!

Christian Conservative on February 10, 2013 at 9:14 AM

This is consistent with my understanding that the ancient workers on the stupid (and I mean stupid) Egyptian pyramids where given beer.

Chessplayer on February 10, 2013 at 9:49 AM

kregg on February 9, 2013 at 5:38 PM

The down side is the beer makes the butch chicks at the gym look more desirable . . .

BigAlSouth on February 10, 2013 at 1:38 PM

Finally some news that doesn’t agrivate.

OK, HA’ers here is a quiz:
What are the minimum foods COMMON and available at your local grocery store that will keep you alive. That is, what is the minimal diet for survival?
You already know one of the items: Beer (and I don’t mean no damn LIGHT beer either!)
What must be added to the list to ‘keep you alive’?

Hint: there are two more food items to complete the MINIMUM list.

Start the clock.

Missilengr on February 11, 2013 at 11:31 AM

OK.
No guesses?
(Guess everyone’s busy.)

Next on the minimal common food list is: Oranges.

There is one more item.

Missilengr on February 11, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Slow day … uh uh.

The minimal diet of foods common in your local grocery store that will KEEP YOU ALIVE comes down to THREE things, they are:

BeerOranges
and (drum roll) PEANUTS
Biochemistry can be so entertaining.

Missilengr on February 11, 2013 at 4:06 PM