Gingrich to Piers Morgan: Let’s hold gun-control hearings in Chicago

posted at 3:54 pm on January 25, 2013 by Allahpundit

Twelve minutes long but worth watching in full, partly because Gingrich is in fine form and partly because it’s a nice demonstration of how futile and bad-faith the “debate” over guns is. Morgan’s point is straightforward: If gun-rights fans think it’s okay to ban machine guns because rapid-fire weapons are too dangerous for the public to own, why not ban assault rifles? Granted, automatics fire much more rapidly than semiautomatics, but you can still get off an awful lot of shots quickly with an AR-15 if you’re pulling the trigger fast enough. Gingrich comes at that logic from the other direction: If semiautomatic rifles are banworthy because you can fire rapidly in volume with them, why aren’t semiautomatic pistols also banworthy?

The answer, if you talk to an honest gun-control advocate, is that they are. They’d love to ban all semiautomatics. It’s wildly illogical to focus only on one type if you’re worried about rapid-fire weapons, to the point where Morgan is left arguing here that we need to get rid of rifles but not pistols because, um, well, that’s the sort of weapon that lunatics like James Holmes and Adam Lanza seem to prefer — as if they wouldn’t resort to pistols if rifles were off the market. (Holmes and Lanza both had semiautomatic pistols on them during the shootings, in fact. My hunch is that the reason spree killers prefer “assault rifles” to pistols has little to do with lethality and everything to do with image. They’re on an insane power trip, and a bigger gun that resembles a machine gun adds to the thrill.) But Morgan knows that banning all semiautomatics won’t fly politically, at least right now, because most Americans believe in the right to own a gun and semiautomatic pistols are by far the most common type of gun that they own. So he’s forced to push this phony distinction between rifles and pistols to keep up the “reasonable regulations” facade and reassure fencesitters that he only wants to eliminate a few really dangerous guns, not the sort of guns found in many American homes that are … almost precisely as dangerous as the “really dangerous” ones he wants to ban.

Hence Gingrich’s point about the gun-control slippery slope. You can’t trust Morgan et al. to ban one class of weapons but no other; the logic of their position ultimately won’t allow it. And the failure of their polices will only be used as an argument that they haven’t gone far enough. That’s why he’s emphasizing Chicago. But never mind all that. Per WaPo, it sounds like Obama might have some of the Sandy Hook families in attendance at the SOTU, so unless you want to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered, it’s time to stand aside.


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Gingrich to Piers Morgan: Let’s hold gun-control hearings in my Moon colony

piers morgan, public enemy #1.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 3:58 PM

Lanza did not use the AR-15 in Sandy Hook…

Kaptain Amerika on January 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Wait a minute!

Is Newt actually telling us that Chicago isn’t the gun free paradise it’s purported to be?

Is he telling us that the gun grabbers are LYING when they what to use the same insane policies to ‘Curb’ Gun violins?

Say it ain’t so!

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM

ZING! Good one, Gingrich. The best part is that it’s funny because it’s true. Obama needs to solve gun violence in Chicago before running his yap about punishing law-abiding gun owners nationwide.

Christien on January 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM

I feel sorry for all the women in the UK. Their douche is over here.

Odysseus on January 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Assault Rifles are all automatic. It’s the defining feature of being an assault rifle.

Archades on January 25, 2013 at 4:02 PM

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 3:58 PM

Why don’t your insane anti-liberty and anti-self defense ideas work in places like Chicago or the UK?

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Where do I sign up to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered.

jaydee_007 on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Lanza did not use the AR-15 in Sandy Hook…

Kaptain Amerika on January 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM

alas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Piers Morgan getting owned on live TV is becoming a rather regular occurrence of late. Something tells me he gets off on it.

Christien on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Why don’t your insane anti-liberty and anti-self defense ideas work in places like Chicago or the UK?

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Where do I sign up to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered.

jaydee_007 on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Here.

Christien on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

piers morgan, public enemy #1.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 3:58 PM

No but he’s a clown that is a good representation of the liberal way of thinking and the despicable tactics you use to “win” an argument.

Public enemy #1 are the politicians who push laws that would strip people of their natural rights.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:06 PM

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Do you support this:

Bill Introduced To Repeal ‘Gun-Free School Zones Act’ Because Deadly Mass Shootings Up Five-Fold Under It
http://cnsnews.com/blog/craig-bannister/bill-introduced-repeal-gun-free-school-zones-act-because-deadly-mass-shootings
Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) has introduced a bill to repeal the “Gun-Free School Zones Act” of 1990 (updated in 1995) on the grounds that mass shootings at schools have increased five-fold since its passage.

And if not, why not – is that you don’t care about protecting the children?

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:06 PM

insane policies to ‘Curb’ Gun violins?

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM

classic.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Gingrich to Piers Morgan: Let’s hold gun-control hearings in Chicago

Bob Dole once quipped that “the most dangerous place in Washington is between Charles Schumer and a television camera,” On the other hand, if you want to see ChuckYou and other Democrats reduce their speed to “old-lady-snail-with-turn-signal-permanently-engaged,” then invite them to discuss guns and crime in Chicago.

ChumpThreads — inadvertently — let the racist cat out of the bag the other day…

Homicides committed in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012: 27.

That is the statistic that has changed everything.

chumpThreads on January 16, 2013 at 2:53 PM

Duly noted that the 512 murders of primarily minorities in Chicago last year CHANGED NOTHING in your estimation.

It takes dead WHITE children from WEALTHY areas in states like Connecticut to light a fire under the asses of Proggies.

Minorities, who live in urban areas where they are killed by handguns sold on the street and, thus, never subjected to background checks, are SO SOOL.

Resist We Much on January 25, 2013 at 4:07 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Total nationwide ban for the win!

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

You still trot out this line?

After it’s been repeatedly demolished whenever it’s brought up?

You are truly fact immune.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Morgan is probably okay with a ‘safe’ bolt action rifle.

Charles Whitman killed 16 and wounded 31 with a bolt action rifle. He picked the time and the location. He didn’t act within a building. He shut down a good portion of the city for several hours.

Morgan is an idiot.

GarandFan on January 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

Where do I sign up to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered.

jaydee_007 on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Where do I sign up to be a racist Democrat, who doesn’t give a shyt that 512 people – primarily minorities – were murdered in Chicago last year?

In the Democratic Party, the Bobby Byrds never commmeee hommmmmme tooooo rooooosssssstttt!

Resist We Much on January 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Total nationwide ban for the win!

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Thread over. We have a winner.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

Why do you feel like you have the right to abridge my right to protect myself and my family?

I don’t care what convoluted BS you post. Go to hell post haste reprobates.

tom daschle concerned on January 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

How appropriate. They can debate gun control to the sound of gunfire, police sirens, and shouts of “cap dat muddyfukka” filtering in from the streets.

Liberalism is a mental disorder.

Maybe God can show his sense of humor by having one of the daily fatal shootings in that wretched excuse for a city occur right outside their meeting place. Preferably with an ‘assault rifle’ used.

MelonCollie on January 25, 2013 at 4:10 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Really?

UK is violent crime capital of Europe
The United Kingdom is the violent crime capital of Europe and has one of the highest rates of violence in the world, worse even than America, according to new research.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/5712573/UK-is-violent-crime-capital-of-Europe.html

Analysis of figures from the European Commission showed a 77 per cent increase in murders, robberies, assaults and sexual offences in the UK since Labour came to power.

The total number of violent offences recorded compared to population is higher than any other country in Europe, as well as America, Canada, Australia and South Africa.

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:10 PM

No but he’s a clown that is a good representation of the liberal way of thinking and the despicable tactics you use to “win” an argument.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:06 PM

he doesn’t speak for anyone else, and you know it. y’all are focusing on him because he’s such an easy, loathsome target.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

We should have nominated this guy. He would have also lost, of course, but he would do it cheaper, and with so much more flair. He would also destroy Ogabe in the process, which is an extra bonus.

Archivarix on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

it sounds like Obama might have some of the Sandy Hook families in attendance at the SOTU

So NO family member of gun victims of Sh!tcago or Croakland or L.A. is invited ? Why ? Because they are black and brown ?
Only whites , huh ?

burrata on January 25, 2013 at 4:12 PM

Why can’t dorks like Morgan just cut to the chase and argue for repeal of the Second Amendment? All this nipping around the edges is a complete waste of time.

Erich66 on January 25, 2013 at 4:13 PM

piers morgan, public enemydope #1.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 3:58 PM

And a Happy Bishop to you !

Jabberwock on January 25, 2013 at 4:13 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

At least you’re honest about not liking the icky guns and the Bill of Rights. Wish Barry and other liberals would admit the same. Why shouldn’t we just ban all guns?

And Piers Morgan isn’t the number one enemy. He’s just such an easy target.

Illinidiva on January 25, 2013 at 4:13 PM

This seems like a faux crisis Progs just can’t waste…

d1carter on January 25, 2013 at 4:13 PM

in the UK they work like a charm
sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Liar.

rrpjr on January 25, 2013 at 4:13 PM

Twelve minutes long but worth watching in full

Ok, I tried, I honestly tried, but Morgan is such a dishonest lying douche bag I just couldn’t get through it.

SWalker on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:10 PM

nonsense.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

I’m going to remain a hateful bastard, although by parentage has never been called into question.

Cindy Munford on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

piers morgan, public enemy #1.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 3:58 PM

Actually, I’d put him at #4 or #5…

#1 – Obama
#2 – Feinstein
#3 – other feckless politican(s)

#6 – Brady, VPC, and other anti-2nd-Amendment groups.

ProfShadow on January 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM

Ok, I tried, I honestly tried, but Morgan is such a dishonest lying douche bag I just couldn’t get through it.

SWalker on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

Agreed. I won’t ever watch him again. I’m tired of the dishonesty. It’s degrading.

rrpjr on January 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Knife crime and gang violence on the rise as councils reduce youth services
Gang crime is on the rise after what some experts, including the children’s minister, call ‘disproptionate cuts’ to youth services
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/29/gang-violence-rises-as-councils-cut-youth-services

Youth violence is already increasing in London. Figures given to the Guardian reveal that serious youth violence increased by 4% year on year across the capital, with a 9.6% hike in knife crime.

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM

I really can’t stand Gingrich but oh I so wish he had been the nominee and handed Obummer’s fly-ridden a$$ to him on a platter.

BUCK FARACK.

Nutstuyu on January 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Total nationwide ban for the win!

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Dude… Don’t even try, just buy a new pair of shoes, you’ll never get the smell of that turd off the old ones now that you kicked it.

SWalker on January 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM

If you treat the term “semi-automatic” literally, it would also apply to revolvers. They would say that the pistols used by Wyatt Earp were semi-automatic.

That would leave muzzle loaders used in the Civil War.

kurtzz3 on January 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM

he doesn’t speak for anyone else, and you know it. y’all are focusing on him because he’s such an easy, loathsome target.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Well, that too. But he is toeing your line.

Jabberwock on January 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM

Per WaPo, it sounds like Obama might have some of the Sandy Hook families in attendance at the SOTU, so unless you want to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered, it’s time to stand aside.

Why dont republicans hold a news conference after Obama’s STOU speech, and surround themselves with children who will be victims of Obama’s generational theft, and who will be hammered by Obama’s excessive spending?

Cavalry on January 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:10 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Violent-crime-rates-UK-1981-to-2007.png

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

Hahahahahaha!

Breath..

Hahahaha!

Really – the wikipedia?

Sure….

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

he doesn’t speak for anyone else, and you know it. y’all are focusing on him because he’s such an easy, loathsome target.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

He’s an easy and loathsome target? You’re making the same arguments he makes.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

So confiscation is the way to go? Can you expand on how that scenario will work out?

Cindy Munford on January 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Bullshyt, squid. The UK is the most violent country in the EU. It has a higher violent crime rate than even South Africa, which is a country not exactly known for its domestic peace.

If gun laws work so well in the UK, then please tell us why gun crime went up 89% after the ban and The Met has now – for the first time – armed patrols with “sub-machine guns”?

Get yourself an education:

Gun Bans: Mad Dogs & Englishmen

M2RB: Leon Russell

Resist We Much on January 25, 2013 at 4:18 PM

y’all are focusing on him because he’s such an easy, loathsome target.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Says HotAirs very own easy loathsome target…

SWalker on January 25, 2013 at 4:18 PM

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Please don’t shoot me, Mr. Robber. I turned my gun in to the Government. Why didn’t you?

kingsjester on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Yep, a newspaper editor who was fired for printing faked photos of UK troops “torturing” the enemy has an immediate credibility problem. I am thrilled that he has made himself the spokesman for gun control.

Cindy Munford on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

Total nationwide ban for the win!

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

be my guest.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

YES! I want Piers Morgan to hear those who live and work in Chicago to hear how they want and demand to be able to protect themselves and their property.

I want him to hear 1st hand how it is to live “under the gun” and have no other option than to duck-and-cover.

I also want to see Piers Morgan turn his ever-so-effete nose up at Chicago Deep Dish Pizza.

CiLH1 on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

Duly noted that the 512 murders of primarily minorities in Chicago last year CHANGED NOTHING in your estimation.

It takes dead WHITE children from WEALTHY areas in states like Connecticut to light a fire under the asses of Proggies.

Minorities, who live in urban areas where they are killed by handguns sold on the street and, thus, never subjected to background checks, are SO SOOL.

Resist We Much on January 25, 2013 at 4:07 PM

It is a PR thing. They know that suburban housewives in PA are going to be moved to action over the deaths of little upper middle class white kids, but will just shrug off the deaths of poor minority kids. There are really two Americas.

Also, my newest favorite hypocrisy of the day is that Congress apparently exempted itself from the Assault Weapons Ban. Congresscritters should have the right to protect themselves from anonymous crazies, but average middle class lady with abusive ex shouldn’t be able to.

Illinidiva on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I am thrilled that he has made himself the spokesman for gun control.

Cindy Munford on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

you’re trying to make him one. nobody was watching his show until conzies started tuning in.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:21 PM

The Blaze has a story today about a young man who used an unloaded AR15 to ward off two men who broke into his home and held his roommate by gunpoint. They fled when they went to enter his room and saw the barrel of the AR15. These men broke into their home through a basement window which is something that could happen to any of us.

lea on January 25, 2013 at 4:21 PM

But never mind all that. Per WaPo, it sounds like Obama might have some of the Sandy Hook families in attendance at the SOTU, so unless you want to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered, it’s time to stand aside.

1 abortion takes place in the U. S. every 26 seconds.

Would abortion upset Obama and the Dems if a gun was used?

INC on January 25, 2013 at 4:22 PM

I like newt, but Piers utterly PWN3d him

Piers: why were automatic weapons banned?

Newt: because they were deemed dangerous

Piers: How much bullets did the Aurora shooter fire per minute with his AR15?

Newt: dunno

Piers: 100 bullets per minute. Speaker, how many bullets per minute is considered dangerous in your book?

Newt: The 2nd Amendment blah blah blah

lol

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:23 PM

The speed of wanna be tyrants is increasing. Purging of the military of non compliant Obama Bots, the full court press of the gun grabbers, the compliant non-questioning press, all point to the outcomes that history teaches will occur. That is why the education and cultural underpinnings of our society needed to be attacked. We are on a quick slide to banana republic status and lower. Hold on tight.

retiredeagle on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

The military M4 shoots only 3 round burst so it’s a semi.I was in a senior NCO class on budgets when the M4 was just coming out.One of the papers we had was a study of ammo used during VietNam that stated 12 million rounds were used per kill with the automatic M16.

docflash on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

But Morgan knows that banning all semiautomatics won’t fly politically, at least right now

Are you insinuating gun control is getting more popular?

Flapjackmaka on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Put down the pipe, child.

kingsjester on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

Total nationwide ban for the win!

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

I seriously think that Emanuel should demand this and campaign throughout WI on taking away all their guns to keep Chicago safe. Maybe the GOP will finally win Wisconsin.

Illinidiva on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I also want to see Piers Morgan turn his ever-so-effete nose up at Chicago Deep Dish Pizza.

CiLH1 on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

Phuck that, I want to see Piers walk unarmed through Chicago’s Eastside at 1am in the morning.

SWalker on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

Why don’t your insane anti-liberty and anti-self defense ideas work in places like Chicago or the UK?

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Right after Newtown, it was either you or bayam who posted a link to a story about where the Chicago gangs got their guns. Buried in the bottom of the story, one of the gang leaders said that they stole many of their weapons from railroad freight cars parked in Chicago railroad yards.

H

Del Dolemonte on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

Really – the wikipedia?

Sure….

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM

dude, you just quoted the guardian.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

you’re trying to make him one. nobody was watching his show until conzies started tuning in.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Nope, Sorry. You’re stuck with him.

Who/What is “conzies” ?

Jabberwock on January 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

Why dont republicans hold a news conference after Obama’s STOU speech, and surround themselves with children who will be victims of Obama’s generational theft, and who will be hammered by Obama’s excessive spending?

Cavalry on January 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM

great idea, i want this to happen =)

Sachiko on January 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Geez. Please stop pretending that you’re an indie. You are in the tank for Obama hard and probably hate Gingrich’s guts.

Illinidiva on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

y’all are focusing on him because he’s such an easy, loathsome target.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

What is it that makes Morgan loathsome but doesn’t make Obama loathsome regarding this issue?

Hides behind children? Check

Stands on the graves of murdered children for a solution that hasn’t worked and wouldn’t have worked? Check

Demonizing opponents as unreasonable nuts? Check

Smug air of superiority? Check

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

I don’t speak for anyone else, and you know it. y’all are focusing on me because I’m such an easy, loathsome target.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Quit hitting yourself.

Christien on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

in the UK they work like a charm, and they’d work in Chicago as well but for the lax gun laws in neighboring areas.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Is this a different UK? Two police officers were killed in Manchester with a hand grenade and a firearm.

Why didn’t the laws stop that from happening?

EnglishRogue on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Jabberwock on January 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

Are those the animal-shaped houseshoes that flap their ears when you stomp them?/

kingsjester on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Per WaPo, it sounds like Obama might have some of the Sandy Hook families in attendance at the SOTU, so unless you want to be a hateful bastard who doesn’t care that children were murdered, it’s time to stand aside.

The next group of citizens who will be offered the “opportunity” to die for their country on the front lines in battle should probably be the kids. It’s only fair since they have been honorably serving for years as human shields for the Democrats key legislative pushes, they should at least be able to put in for combat pay.

Plus they will need the money to pay for their “free” healthcare.

Lily on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

“In conclusion, I can spare those Americans who want me deported a lot of effort by saying this: If you don’t change your gun laws to at least try to stop this relentless tidal wave of murderous carnage, then you don’t have to worry about deporting me…Although I love the country as a second home and one that has treated me incredibly well, I would, as a concerned parent first – and latterly, of a one-year-old daughter who may attend an American elementary school like Sandy Hook in three years’ time – seriously consider deporting myself.”

- Piers Morgan, 29 December 2012

Dear Piers:

Er, to where are you going to self-deport? Even many Brits don’t want your pompous arse back – “We got rid of him once. Why should we have to suffer again.”

I’m was thinking “The Land of the Rising Google Bank Accounts” – Bermuda – might be a good fit. Plus, President Obama “gifted” Her Majesty and Bermuda 4 Uighurs from Gitmo. How fun! There’s got to be a 12 Days of Ramadan or Obama song in there somewhere. “On the 4th day of —-, my true love gave to me, 4 Uighurs surfing…” Imagine the royalties!!!

Why? ‘Cuz: Piers Morgan + 4 Uighurs + Marine Security Guard Force at US Embassy in Hamilton, Bermuda + US Consul General, Robert Settje, SWAT (ret) = Final nail in the coffin of Piers Morgan

On one level, I think you’re the type that actually believes you are one of the precious and that everyone loves you. Sort of like Madge. Yes, at 54, any woman would KILL to have her body, but NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THE BOOBIES AND VAJAYJAY ON STAGE ANYMORE…OK, maybe, Ray Charles. If she had any sense or class, she’d take some lessons from Dita von Teese. Ahem.

Remember when everyone made fun of Obama for writing two books about himself before he was 50: Dreams from My Father (34) and The Audacity of Hope (45)? Well, how phun, phun phunny is the fact that you’ve written THREE: The Insider: The Private Diaries of a Scandalous Decade (40), Don’t You Know Who I am? (42), and God Bless America: Misadventures of a Big Mouth Brit (44)?

On another level, you’re George Constanza. I remember that I tagged Obama with that label immediately following the first debate (the jerk store called…), but my good man, you bring some serious ‘nutter game.

EIGHT YEARS AFTER after you were frogmarched out of your office at The Mirror for knowingly running hoax pictures of British soldiers “torturing” Iraqis, you are STILL Tweefending yourself and blaming a vast-right-wing-Neo-Con-Israel-Firster-Bilderberger-NWOer-Tri-Lat-CFRer-Freemason-NRA-Globalist-False-Flag Planner-MK-ULTRA Practitioner-Paid Propagandist-CIA-MI6-DGSE-Mossad-conspiracy for photoshopping those pictures on the same Olympia manual typewriter that created that did not create Dan Rather’s “fake, but accurate” Bush AWOL documents forgeries.

After the Leveson Inquiry said this about you, specifically:

“…[C]learly prove is that he was aware that [phone hacking] was taking place in the press as a whole and that he was sufficiently unembarrassed by what was criminal behaviour that he was prepared to joke about it.”

…and coupled with the aforementioned FAUX FOTOS, I find the irony deeeeelish when you complain about “FAUX News.”

You’re STILL fighting the War of the Faux Roses Iraqis, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting the English Reformation, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting the Hampton Court Conference of 1604, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting the English Revolution, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting the Glorious Revolution, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting the Act of Settlement 1701, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting the American Revolution, which you lost… long ago.

You’re STILL fighting Lord Hardwicke’s Marriage Act of 1753. You’ve been losing, but against the will of the British people, the Fabian Socialist Archbishop of Canterbury, who fought to open the CofE to gay priests, but has retired in protest, the grassroots and peers of the Conservatives, Muffin Cameron will win SSM for you…even if it puts Ed the Red or Boris in 10 Downing.

[For the record, I'm pro-SSM, but I, like most Brits, don't rank it very high on our list of priorities. Please see Joe Biden for a clue and a "three-letter word.]

Nothing, however, can win back your integrity, trustworthiness, Q-rating and “Why you matter” factor…although I’m sure that China or Son of Son of Kim in NorKo will take you.

If PSY can be the Elvis of South Korea, surely, you can be the Edward R Murrow of North Korea!

After all, you’ve always been great at spouting propaganda and weaving faerie tales of the blissful nature of My Progressive Little Ponyland, which is, of course, a gun-free zone where unicorns and teddy bears can marry and produce litters of lollipops and cupcakes with sprinkles.

Piers, short pier, and long walk. Some assembly required.

Resist We Much on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

we need to throw this back in their faces now that they’re using this line of reasoning:

the VA Tech shooter (don’t care to look up his name) did all his damage and killed 22 people with just a .22 and 9mm pistol, all with standard factory issue mags (not high capacity)

Please, libidiots, explain how any law anyone is proposing would have prevented this mass murder?

And if he could kill this many people with just handguns, how would Newtown or Aurora been any different with just standard pistols?

the fact that people have high cap mags or ARs doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t have been just as lethal without them, as the VA Tech shooting shows

Guess what is the one proposal that could have prevented VA Tech? Repealing the gun free zones on campus…

thurman on January 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Buried in the bottom of the story, one of the gang leaders said that they stole many of their weapons from railroad freight cars parked in Chicago railroad yards.

H

Del Dolemonte on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

…and they bought the rest in gun stores outside chicago, often using the notorious straw men.

fail, next.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Galt2009 on January 25, 2013 at 4:10 PM

nonsense.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 PM

wiki founder Jimmy Wales famously said a few years back that his creation should never be used as a serious reference source.
Please try again.

Del Dolemonte on January 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

communist low IQ scum seque… the main issue in gun violence is that most of it is done by democrat voters in totally controlled liberal cities… that is the fact… liberals are the culture of violence…. now go and f**** yourself slave of the State…

mnjg on January 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

I seriously think that Emanuel should demand this and campaign throughout WI on taking away all their guns to keep Chicago safe. Maybe the GOP will finally win Wisconsin.

Illinidiva on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I’m all for it. The idea that we need to ban guns comprehensively across the country to really make a dent on gun violence in high-crime areas is a fine campaign plank for Democrats in 2014.

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Charles Whitman and the Texas Tower….
Guns found with Whitman:
Remington Model 700 – 6MM, Bolt action rifle;
Sears 12-gauge semi-auto shotgun (sawed off – very illegal);
Remington .35-caliber model 141 pump rifle;
U.S. Carbine .30-caliber M-1 Universal (not GI);
.357-Mag Smith and Weston Model-19 revolver;
9MM Luger P-08 semi-auto pistol;
6.35 MM (.25acp) Caliber Semi-Auto pistol.

Another Drew on January 25, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Piers Morgan getting owned on live TV is becoming a rather regular occurrence of late. Something tells me he gets off on it.

Christien on January 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM

His brother trolls certainly do.

CurtZHP on January 25, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Thread over. We have a winner.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM

I don’t think he’s allowed to win his own thread. I could be wrong, though.

CurtZHP on January 25, 2013 at 4:30 PM

I like newt, but Piers utterly PWN3d him

Piers: why were automatic weapons banned?

Newt: because they were deemed dangerous

Piers: How much bullets did the Aurora shooter fire per minute with his AR15?

Newt: dunno

Piers: 100 bullets per minute. Speaker, how many bullets per minute is considered dangerous in your book?

Newt: The 2nd Amendment blah blah blah

lol

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:23 PM

100 bullets per minute?

Sounds pretty useful if you’re a women defending yourself and small children from home invaders. Especially since a rifle is easier to shoot accurately.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:30 PM

Illinidiva on January 25, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I’m all for it. The idea that we need to ban guns comprehensively across the country to really make a dent on gun violence in high-crime areas is a fine campaign plank for Democrats in 2014.

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Not to be a spoilsport here AP, but wouldn’t it be easier and safer to just ban Democrats instead… o_O

SWalker on January 25, 2013 at 4:30 PM

I’m all for it. The idea that we need to ban guns comprehensively across the country to really make a dent on gun violence in high-crime areas is a fine campaign plank for Democrats in 2014.

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:28 PM

allah, stop being a republican and be an american for a second. not every movement’s so goal is to garner a political victory. The gun control battle is a politically costly battle to save lives. I think democrats are willing to lose seats if it means less innocent deaths from guns.

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

The only thing Americans should say to Morgan: “Oh, you’re still here? Pity.”

Christien on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Jabberwock on January 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM

Are those the animal-shaped houseshoes that flap their ears when you stomp them?/

kingsjester on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Dunno. But if they are, I am sure Sesqui shuffles around the apt in them. Might have a pair on now. FLOP FLOP.

Jabberwock on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Granted, automatics fire much more rapidly than semiautomatics, but you can still get off an awful lot of shots quickly with an AR-15 if you’re pulling the trigger fast enough.

This goes for just about 90% of the firearms sold today, pistols and mom Ar15 type rifles alike. Semi-Automatic firearms have been around for more than 100 years. These mass shootings have only been a problem for the last 20 or so. That tells me the problem is not the guns.

jawkneemusic on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

100 bullets per minute?

Sounds pretty useful if you’re a women defending yourself and small children from home invaders. Especially since a rifle is easier to shoot accurately.

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:30 PM

is the woman defending herself from a herd of bulletproof zombies?!

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

allah, stop being a republican and be an american for a second. not every movement’s so goal is to garner a political victory. The gun control battle is a politically costly battle to save lives. I think democrats are willing to lose seats if it means less innocent deaths from guns.

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Forget the shoes. Save the watch.

Holy Toledo.

kingsjester on January 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM

I am thrilled that he has made himself the spokesman for gun control.

Cindy Munford on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

you’re trying to make him one. nobody was watching his show until conzies started tuning in.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Piers utterly PWN3d him

lol

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:23 PM

“Conzies”, Gracie? Please try again.

Del Dolemonte on January 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Why didn’t the laws stop that from happening?

EnglishRogue on January 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM

first, as you should know, britain has had a particularly bad (in the european context) gun problem, partly as the legacy of irish separatism. second, one event is an anecdote, not a meaningful statistic.

the question should be, how come there are no daily mass shootings in the UK? and the answer is that knives don’t do mass murder.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Total nationwide ban for the win!

Allahpundit on January 25, 2013 at 4:08 PM

be my guest.
Yes, please, because I’m so ascared of boomsticks!

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

CurtZHP on January 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM

I think democrats are willing to lose seats if it means less innocent deaths from guns.

nonpartisan on January 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Well yes, because although they never save anyone’s life, they can afford a few lost seats. I mean for crying out loud they own both wings in all but name and have Obama in the White House…a few lost seats is nothing.

MelonCollie on January 25, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Folks let us hope that the communists waste all their political capital on gun grabbing… we will destroy them in 2014…

mnjg on January 25, 2013 at 4:33 PM

…and they bought the rest in gun stores outside chicago, often using the notorious straw men.

fail, next.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

So you support a federally mandated nation wide ban on firearms of any sort?

Do you believe this can only be done via a Constitutional amendment?

How do plan on confiscating 300 million weapons from 60+ million Americans you’ve turned into felons?

gwelf on January 25, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Just a random thought:

What if abortions were committed with a gun?

Heck, if I have to shoot someone to stop them from killing or harming me or mine and they die, isn’t that just a “post birth abortion?” Perhaps in the 50th trimester?

What’s the problem with aborting an SOB that is trying to abort my life? Not a darn thing.

And just because I use a firearm instead of some medical tool, the result is the same.

ProfShadow on January 25, 2013 at 4:34 PM

the question should be, how come there are no daily mass shootings in the UK? and the answer is that knives don’t do mass murder.

sesquipedalian on January 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM

I must have missed today’s mass shooting.

sentinelrules on January 25, 2013 at 4:34 PM

non*

jawkneemusic on January 25, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Nothing new, same old Liberal argument; “if you don’t agree with me, then you must not care for the fill in the blank”.

DDay on January 25, 2013 at 4:35 PM

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