This fear of asking is a problem for many women: we are great advocates for others, but paralyzed when it comes to doing it for ourselves.

This is true for me, but I can’t say it’s because I’m a woman. I can advocate for my kids, for my students, my colleagues, but me? Nope. Even as a kid I was like that, much to my mother’s impatience.

They said they were already offering the high end of their salary range and I accepted the offer.

Honestly, if I weren’t a sucker at negotiation, I believe I could have gotten more. I didn’t mention the fact that I was single-handedly replacing two people (1 who quit around the same time the other was fired) and the work load of the position had increased (the company, in part because of the good work I’d been doing as a contractor, signed another large account).

For some reason though, it felt pushy to mention any of that. Instead I mentioned that I had been expecting a higher offer and that I was previously making more for a similar role. When they said no, I said “o.k., sorry to bother you”.

Most of my guy friends said “Why didn’t you mention any of that other stuff?!?” while most of my girl friends said “Well, at least you tried.”

In any case, I was happy to accept the position because it’s a full time telecommute job with good benefits so it’s not like I’ll be suffering.

If a 22-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman are offered $25,000 for their first job, for example, and one of them negotiates the amount up to $30,000, then over the next 28 years, the negotiator would make $361,171 more, assuming they both got 3 percent raises each year.

Actually, that should be “over the course of 39 years.”

Maybe women could negotiate better once they get the hang of, you know, math.

In the past 9 or so years as an industry recruiter and consultant, I’ve learned a lot about what makes people tick. … I’ve heard complaints, stories, excuses, and heroic efforts to make things work for themselves and others. I’ve spent a lot of time talking folks out of trees, so to speak, and a lot of time providing them a place to vent. It has been a fascinating window in to people’s psyches. Over half of those people are women. And as you can imagine, there is a great difference between men and women in what they do, want, think and vent about. And there is a huge gap between the two when it comes to overall industry advancement[1] and in my opinion, much of that gap is attributable to the self-imposed constraints, or limitations, women place on themselves. These constraints often lead to great professional frustration for women.

Disclaimer! Now before everyone jumps all over me, let me state that I am referring only to those limitations over which women actually have control, whether they realize it or not. I’m not referring to responsibilities placed on us by children, elderly parents, illness, or the like. Men and women both have these types of constraints (though it is my observation that, overall, it is the women who will make the needed sacrifices – even for in-laws). This article does not apply to all women, but I believe it will apply to a significant number in our business. And based on my conversations with these women over the past several years – so do they.

That being said, if there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.

I’m certain that you also rock a mic like a vandal; light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

;)

The workshops featured in the New York Times piece

…was garnered at a Hookers Convention!

I love you canopfor. You are HA’s news scroll.
In Vietnam they didn’t protest much either prior to them mortar attacks. Good times.

arnold ziffel on December 18, 2012 at 10:00 PM

armold ziffel:I used to be a Courier,so at times,I love the chase,
anywho,H/A has 10 X,of what I posted!

Ahem,Lol,InComing:)

. . . which is why Shrillery is putting off testifying under oath before Congress. It might hurt her chances for 2016.

honsy on December 18, 2012 at 9:54 PM

honsy:Heres the 9 yards on HilRod and what goes on with the ARG:)
=================================================================

http://www.state.gov/r/pa/prs/dpb/2012/12/202226.htm

Breaking News: Benghazi board concludes there was no protest prior to the attacks on U.S. mission

Independent inquiry faults State Department in Benghazi attack
WASHINGTON | Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:40pm EST

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/12/19/us-usa-benghazi-report-idUSBRE8BI04P20121219

https://twitter.com/Reuters

canopfor on December 18, 2012 at 9:50 PM

I love you canopfor. You are HA’s news scroll.
In Vietnam they didn’t protest much either prior to them mortar attacks. Good times.

canopfor on December 18, 2012 at 9:50 PM

Breaking News: Benghazi board concludes there was no protest prior to the attacks on U.S. mission.

Then why were the Republicans trying to shamelessly make political hay on four tragic deaths? And we had Romney’s rash statement (that was correct) before the dust settled. Ask our trolls.

Nobody is doing it on that school shooting.

BTW, I wonder if the media will have a Mission Accomplished banner at any of the inauguration balls?

canopfor on December 18, 2012 at 9:50 PM

. . . which is why Shrillery is putting off testifying under oath before Congress. It might hurt her chances for 2016.

Breaking News: Benghazi board concludes there was no protest prior to the attacks on U.S. mission

Independent inquiry faults State Department in Benghazi attack
WASHINGTON | Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:40pm EST

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/12/19/us-usa-benghazi-report-idUSBRE8BI04P20121219

https://twitter.com/Reuters

PappyD61 on December 18, 2012 at 9:38 PM

This has also been going on in Britain for years. It is also underway in Canada to a lesser extent thus far, but in all these cases, it is for the purpose of saving money because it is the government that pays for extended treatments in the latter part of life – and all of these governments are going broke with their ever expanding welfare systems.

O’Bozo Care is anticipating doing the same to our elders and terminally ill of all ages in order to save money on treatments – and for eliminating Social Security payments years earlier than would have been expected if folks were allowed to live out their natural lives.

This is how Progressives will balance he budget down the road – kill off the “non-productive” members of society early on. Ironically, more cash would be saved if the truly non-productive welfare leeches were eliminated instead – but then they would eliminate their voter base.

Cool: NYT discovers women can take individual action to improve their own pay

Next up: NYT discovers that Obama did not give women “equitable pay” rights in the Lily Ledbetter Act.

The Equal Pay Act of 1963 and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 did that…not that you’d know it after the 2012 campaign.

http://www.france24.com/en/20121218-belgium-looks-euthanasia-minors-alzheimers-sufferers

http://www.france24.com/en/20121218-report-recommends-france-legalize-accelerated-deaths

Equality of pay wont mean much if you get sick in America in a few years.

To a high-performing worker, getting the job done is just their ‘normal,’ and they don’t really feel inclined to go for bragging rights on what they feel is routine. Even in performance reviews they will tend to minimize their accomplishments. This often leads to pay disparities since management is fully capable of usury.

Meanwhile, the ‘squeaky wheel’ employees who suck but constantly brag about how great they are, in spite of evidence, somehow move nicely up the ladder. You wouldn’t want to be stranded on a island with them. Sad, but true.

The reality is you have to beg and claw for most pay raises or they simply won’t come as often or as large as they should.

A nation worried about equality of pay and thumping men in the workplace….when the very freedoms that allow these free discussions slip further away every day.

Dying civilization…..killed by a majority vote.