Joke petition on White House website: It’s time to nationalize Twinkies

posted at 8:01 pm on November 16, 2012 by Allahpundit

You know, if Hostess had gone belly up a week before the election, I think O might have considered it. What better “gift” could he have given America to earn votes than the gift of sugar and fat encased in a bland spongy tube? Michelle would have been steamed, but whatever. She’d have four more years to get over it. And the beauty of it is, Twinkies are so simple that not even our vast federal bureaucracy could screw them up. They’d still taste more or less the same. They’d just cost six dollars a pop or whatever from now on, once O eventually caved to demands from the bakers’ union:

Hostess management said work rules from existing labor agreements made it hard to improve productivity and spend money efficiently. For example, some rules required different workers to deliver bread and cakes, the company said.

Unions had made concessions during Hostess’s first bankruptcy, accepting lower wages and changing delivery systems that saved the company $80 million a year. The second go round, the unions initially balked at further steep cuts.

Hostess’s investors plowed another $60 million into Hostess last year but wouldn’t provide more without new labor givebacks. Investors lost money as a result of Hostess’s fall, according to people close to the investment firms.

Top Obama crony Richard Trumka had a characteristically sober take on the bankruptcy today, blaming “Bain-style Wall Street vultures” — evidently, his press release was written before the election — but read this piece from John Carney at CNBC for a comprehensive take. The company’s been in and out of bankruptcy for years; the hedge funds that rescued it last time couldn’t make the numbers add up given the recession, growing health consciousness among Americans, and, yes, union demands. (MKH had a nice run-through of the subplot between the Teamsters and the bakers’ union earlier.) Result: Twinkies, RIP?

Well, no, not really. Here’s the CEO of Hostess talking about the bankruptcy and the value of the company’s brands. Someone’s obviously going to buy the rights to Twinkies and start making them again, especially with nostalgia-fests like this now populating newspapers to goose demand once they return. (As I said earlier in the Greenroom, I had a craving for one today for the first time in years.) They’re the indestructible food. They’ll be back. Exit question: Twinkies or Chocodiles?



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Turn it over to the unions..

I am waiting for the Twinkie Volt.

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Shouldn’t the unions be nationalized by the Left? Oh, wait …

ShainS on November 16, 2012 at 8:05 PM

I hope someone buys the brand and the recipe, then makes them in a right-to-work state. How sweet would that be?

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Turn it over to the unions..

I am waiting for the Twinkie Volt.

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:04 PM

I can hear the ads now:

“The Twinkie Volt–shockingly good!”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:07 PM

I can hear the ads now:

“The Twinkie Volt–shockingly good!”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:07 PM

LOL

Explodes in your mouth..

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:08 PM

…fresh Twinkies!…mmmmmmmm good!

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 8:08 PM

They’d just cost six dollars a pop or whatever from now on, once O eventually caved to demands

But he could give us a subsidy and the require each state to set up a twinkie exchange. Of course, their purchase would be mandatory, unless you want to pay the twinkie tax.

Bobbertsan on November 16, 2012 at 8:09 PM

I’m probably in the minority on the Twinkie imbroglio. Never liked them, even when I was a kid. But, I can imagine they might be fun in a kinky sense, the more I think about it. Paula, baby, call me maybe.

TXUS on November 16, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Holy Cow! Greg Gutfeld is hosting The O’Reilly Factor!

That should become a permanent change.

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:10 PM

What better “gift” could he have given America to earn votes than the gift of sugar and fat encased in a bland spongy tube?

Um….. I thought that was why Candy Crowley got the gig as moderator for the second debate.

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:11 PM

I hope someone buys the brand and the recipe, then makes them in a right-to-work state. How sweet would that be?

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Sweet.

But I’m not counting out some kind of union bailout, not just yet.

petefrt on November 16, 2012 at 8:11 PM

Holy Cow! Greg Gutfeld is hosting The O’Reilly Factor!

That should become a permanent change.

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:10 PM

No kidding!

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Holy Cow! Greg Gutfeld is hosting The O’Reilly Factor!

That should become a permanent change.

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:10 PM

Greg is a good thinker. Sometimes I like his serious side more than his humor.

petefrt on November 16, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Make Michelle CEO.

INC on November 16, 2012 at 8:13 PM

Turn it over to the unions..

I am waiting for the Twinkie Volt.

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Turn it over to Moochelle. Government-subsidized, Arugula-stuffed Twinkies. That’ll sell.

TXUS on November 16, 2012 at 8:14 PM

Suzie-Qs are a much more serious loss than Twinkies.
There should be a strategic reserve of Suzie-Qs.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on November 16, 2012 at 8:15 PM

Snowballs.

derft on November 16, 2012 at 8:17 PM

1. vote democrat
2. unionize
3. ???
4. profit? nope, go bankrupt.

tom daschle concerned on November 16, 2012 at 8:18 PM

I can hear the ads now:

“The Twinkie Volt–shockingly good!”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:07 PM
LOL

Explodes in your mouth..

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:08 PM

loool :-)

jimver on November 16, 2012 at 8:18 PM

Greg is a good thinker. Sometimes I like his serious side more than his humor.

petefrt on November 16, 2012 at 8:12 PM

He’s as close to Rush as there is in terms of illustrating the absurd through absurdity. A very witty guy.

TXUS on November 16, 2012 at 8:19 PM

Um….. I thought that was why Candy Crowley got the gig as moderator for the second debate.

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:11 PM

LOL! *wipes tea off monitor*

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:19 PM

If he did, they’d have to bake the twinkies in solar ovens.

rbj on November 16, 2012 at 8:21 PM

Why do you think this is a joke? They’re a national treasure. We can’t let Twinkies go down in history on Obama’s watch.

El_Terrible on November 16, 2012 at 8:21 PM

Why not? The whole of Washington DC has become one big punchline anyway.

Murf76 on November 16, 2012 at 8:24 PM

LOL! *wipes tea off monitor*

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:19 PM

It was way too easy a set-up to let pass by without comment! ;0

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:25 PM

And the beauty of it is, Twinkies are so simple that not even our vast federal bureaucracy could screw them up. They’d still taste more or less the same.

…and, they would require us to edit Reagan’s famous line:

“The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government programme and a Twinkie made under one.”

Twinkies are eternal.

(Only production stopped today. Uneaten Twinkies will be edible in 3012).

Resist We Much on November 16, 2012 at 8:26 PM

GREAT MOMENTS IN TWINKIE HISTORY:

“Give me Twinkies, or give me death!”- Patrick Henry

“You can have my Twinkie when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.”- Charlton Heston

“Ask not what your Twinkie can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Twinkie.”- John F. Kennedy

“What have you given us, Mr. Franklin?
A Twinkie, if you can keep it.”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

Let’s see…

They bailed out the banks.
They bailed out the auto industry.
They underwrite failed green energy companies.

Why wouldn’t they bail out Twinkies, Ho Hos and Wonder Bread?

Mitoch55 on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

I wish I had taken the time out of my busy schedule to drive by their picket line and ridicule them.

tom daschle concerned on November 16, 2012 at 8:28 PM

What better “gift” could he have given America to earn votes than the gift of sugar and fat encased in a bland spongy tube?

LOL

bernverdnardo1 on November 16, 2012 at 8:28 PM

Why do you think this is a joke? They’re a national treasure. We can’t let Twinkies go down in history on Obama’s watch.

El_Terrible on November 16, 2012 at 8:21 PM

Yeah well so were democracy, the rule of law, and co-equal branches of government. Why should Twinkies fare any better than them under the rat-eared wonder’s watch?

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:29 PM

Why wouldn’t they bail out Twinkies, Ho Hos and Wonder Bread?

Mitoch55 on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

Wrong side of the elections and the fact that Mooch constantly attacks their products.

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:31 PM

Does this rate a “down twinkies?”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:31 PM

Can’t wait till there’s a chinese knock off that kills us from lead poisoning

El_Terrible on November 16, 2012 at 8:32 PM

…we have a Ding Dong in the White House!

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 8:32 PM

I’m thinking it will get more play than the secession petitions.

But then, LSM/MSM is in Obama’s pocket.

ProfShadow on November 16, 2012 at 8:33 PM

Why wouldn’t they bail out Twinkies, Ho Hos and Wonder Bread?

Mitoch55 on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

BECAUSE, silly, bailouts were done during the Bush administration!!!

“I don’t think there are going to be any more bailouts. I don’t think the Republican leadership in the House would sanction any more bailouts. I doubt the White House would recommend it, so you know, the bailouts were during the Bush administration, when it was a very different climate.”

Never mind that Obama just finished an election where he ran on “saving” the auto industry by bailing it out and criticised Romney for writing (didn’t write the title) “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt.”

Yes, the auto bailouts started under Bush, but Obama was the main bailer-outer. Now, “bailouts were during the Bush administration.”

- Congressman Jim Moran, DEMOCRAT-VA

Resist We Much on November 16, 2012 at 8:34 PM

…we have a Ding Dong in the White House!

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 8:32 PM

And a Ho Ho for First lady!

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:34 PM

…we have a Ding Dong in the White House!

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 8:32 PM

And a Ho Ho for First lady!

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:34 PM

::: smiley face guy clapping or something :::

El_Terrible on November 16, 2012 at 8:36 PM

Oops. Massive format fail!

“I don’t think there are going to be any more bailouts. I don’t think the Republican leadership in the House would sanction any more bailouts. I doubt the White House would recommend it, so you know, the bailouts were during the Bush administration, when it was a very different climate.”

– Congressman Jim Moran, DEMOCRAT-VA

Never mind that Obama just finished an election where he ran on “saving” the auto industry by bailing it out and criticised Romney for writing (didn’t write the title) “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt.” Yes, the auto bailouts started under Bush, but Obama was the main bailer-outer. Now, it is “bailouts were during the Bush administration.”

Resist We Much on November 16, 2012 at 8:36 PM

has little Debbie downer weighed in on this yet?

tom daschle concerned on November 16, 2012 at 8:37 PM

NYT Headline:

“Hostess to go out of business, Meghan McCain hardest hit.”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:39 PM

‘Toon of the Day: Twinkie Toes

Resist We Much on November 16, 2012 at 8:37 PM

Good one.

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Have the EPA re-recipe it. Just remove the sugar, oil and flour and let General Motors sell it.

pat on November 16, 2012 at 8:41 PM

Too delicious to fail

Ronnie on November 16, 2012 at 8:42 PM

If Twinkies get made by a non-union company, I will buy them again!

Mutnodjmet on November 16, 2012 at 8:42 PM

Joke petition on WH website? What makes you think it’s a joke?

Besides, they have no sense of humor about such things, now do they.

petefrt on November 16, 2012 at 8:43 PM

Suzie-Qs are a much more serious loss than Twinkies.
There should be a strategic reserve of Suzie-Qs.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on November 16, 2012 at 8:15 PM

Frozen Suzie Qs = YUMMYIST

hopeful on November 16, 2012 at 8:48 PM

Besides, they have no sense of humor about such things, now do they.

petefrt on November 16, 2012 at 8:43 PM

With Mooch in the White House? Anybody who signs that petition will have black helicopters overhead before it is all over. So no, it is not a joke.

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:49 PM

Enough with the twinkie jokes, it’s seriously homophobic…/

idesign on November 16, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Let them eat Twinkies!

FloatingRock on November 16, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Seriously, Hot Air, you post about this, but not about the petition to allow Texas to leave the Union which has 112,000+ signatures on it? Shame.

Theophile on November 16, 2012 at 8:57 PM

…you sure that’s a joke?

Mr. Prodigy on November 16, 2012 at 9:00 PM

perfect for the Twink-in- Chief.

mittens on November 16, 2012 at 9:00 PM

Hostess used to make a cake called king dongs…anyone else remember that? Warning: a google image search may turn up NSFW results!

rightside on November 16, 2012 at 9:00 PM

Theophile on November 16, 2012 at 8:57 PM

I think Ed or AP would tell you to tread lightly with that attempt to derail this thread.

CW on November 16, 2012 at 9:03 PM

Stick a Twinkie in it Theophile

TheAudacityofNOPE on November 16, 2012 at 9:05 PM

I seriously love this site. Frickin great humor from like minded folks…good times, and LOL @the Candy Crowley comments!

Except this time nobody wants to know where the cream filling is!

TheAudacityofNOPE on November 16, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Holy crap…6 units into my chicken fried Twinkie franchises and this. Going back to bacon.

DanMan on November 16, 2012 at 9:09 PM

GREAT MOMENTS IN TWINKIE HISTORY:

“Give me Twinkies, or give me death!”- Patrick Henry

“You can have my Twinkie when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.”- Charlton Heston

“Ask not what your Twinkie can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Twinkie.”- John F. Kennedy

“What have you given us, Mr. Franklin?
A Twinkie, if you can keep it.”

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

At some point you’ve eaten enough Twinkies.

22044 on November 16, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Gee, I know where a buyer can get some great brand names and probably some soon-to-be-idle, stand-alone bakeries.

And the bakers who will be lining up for job interviews will be same folks who used to work there.

The same bakers (the unionized members) who thought private enterprise was just like the federal government; you just vote to make somebody else give you money because… well, because you want it a whole lot.

Right, works just like that.

IndieDogg on November 16, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Stick a Twinkie in it Theophile

TheAudacityofNOPE on November 16, 2012 at 9:05 PM

Wow. Part of the “Shut Up” crowd, eh?

Theophile on November 16, 2012 at 9:20 PM

Wow. Part of the “Shut Up” crowd, eh?

Theophile on November 16, 2012 at 9:20 PM

Go OT at your own risk.

22044 on November 16, 2012 at 9:21 PM

has little Debbie downer weighed in on this yet?

tom daschle concerned on November 16, 2012 at 8:37 PM

…can’t talk…has a Big Twinkie in her mouth?

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 9:22 PM

…if you like your Twinkie…you can keep your Twinkie!…President Ding Dong.

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 9:25 PM

22044 on November 16, 2012 at 9:17 PM

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

Electrongod on November 16, 2012 at 8:34 PM

KOOLAID2 on November 16, 2012 at 8:32 PM

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:31 PM

What better “gift” could he have given America to earn votes than the gift of sugar and fat encased in a bland spongy tube?

Um….. I thought that was why Candy Crowley got the gig as moderator for the second debate.

Happy Nomad on November 16, 2012 at 8:11 PM

LOLOLOL! You guys are toooo funny!

PatriotGal2257 on November 16, 2012 at 9:26 PM

Choco-diles.

And it isn’t even close…

JohnGalt23 on November 16, 2012 at 9:29 PM

What good is legal pot without twinkies. It’s like an episode of the twilight zone.

mechkiller_k on November 16, 2012 at 9:50 PM

You know, if Hostess had gone belly up a week before the election, I think O might have considered it. What better “gift” could he have given America to earn votes than the gift of sugar and fat encased in a bland spongy tube?

Yeah, but that might have cost him the coveted loathsome-nanny-state-mayor endorsement, which was surely the deciding factor in this election.

Lawdawg86 on November 16, 2012 at 9:50 PM

Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno Balls? Where’s the f@cking Twinkies?
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency.
Columbus: [eats a Sno Ball] Fresh.
Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain’t over yet.

-Zombieland 2009

mechkiller_k on November 16, 2012 at 9:54 PM

Tallahassee: [Searching for Twinkies] Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious b@stards?

mechkiller_k on November 16, 2012 at 9:55 PM

Tallahassee: There’s a box of Twinkies in that grocery store. Not just any box of Twinkies, the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, Life’s little Twinkie gauge is gonna go… empty.

mechkiller_k on November 16, 2012 at 9:56 PM

Twinkie Bailout petition

Signed! Because I want to see if the Obama Campaign really will comment on this if it passes the 25K signature threshhold.

malclave on November 16, 2012 at 9:57 PM

Why wouldn’t they bail out Twinkies, Ho Hos and Wonder Bread?

Mitoch55 on November 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

Because they’re made in Texas. The Benghazi Bastar* hates Texas.

txhsmom on November 16, 2012 at 10:03 PM

Speaking of “diets”…my mom told me tonight she’s on a new diet, the “Hell in a Handbasket Diet”, as in Obama’s been reelected so the world’s going to hell in a handbasket.

txhsmom on November 16, 2012 at 10:17 PM

Because they’re made in Texas. The Benghazi Bastar* hates Texas.

txhsmom on November 16, 2012 at 10:03 PM

I thought the HQ was in Texas but the factories were in other states. Am I wrong?

22044 on November 16, 2012 at 10:18 PM

New Steyn…

Tribal America

M2RB: Blue Öyster Cult (cowbell link)

Resist We Much on November 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM

If Twinkies were made like the Volt, they would start themselves on fire, fried Twinkies…….

crosshugger on November 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM

I hope someone buys the brand and the recipe, then makes them in a right-to-work state. How sweet would that be?

predator on November 16, 2012 at 8:05 PM

That would be very sweet, and is probably what will happen. They don’t just have Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Ding Dongs.

Hostess owns Dolly Madison, Wonder Bread, Merita, Home Pride, Nature’s Pride, Drake’s, Beefsteak, and a host of regional brands.

kakypat on November 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM

Government Twinkies may contain up to 10% ethanol.

WOOHOO!

(Well, crap, I posted this in the wrong thread earlier.)

The Rogue Tomato on November 16, 2012 at 10:24 PM

Joke petition my aunt’s glasses. Instead of “bread and circuses”, we’d have “Twinkies and television” if Obama could get away with it.

MelonCollie on November 16, 2012 at 10:31 PM

At some point you’ve sold enough Twinkies.

xblade on November 16, 2012 at 10:46 PM

You know, Barack, you know, could, you know, get, you know, shot, you know, going, you know, down, you know, the, you know, street, you know, to, you know, the, you know, gas, you know, station, you know, to, you know, get, you know, twinkies?

-Michelle “The The Hut” Ogabe.

tom daschle concerned on November 16, 2012 at 10:53 PM

These Twinkies are making me thirsty. And so are those donuts.

ahlaphus on November 16, 2012 at 11:17 PM

Michelle will make sure twinkies never come back unless they whole grain, healthy and taste like crap.

Drill and Fill on November 16, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Things come and go. I still miss Clove Lifesavers.

trigon on November 16, 2012 at 11:58 PM

“Twinkies – Volt: I haven’t had a gas attack in years.”

Fred 2 on November 17, 2012 at 12:16 AM

Twinkies are white cakes, and filled with more white stuff.

Obama will only stand up for Ho Ho’s.

profitsbeard on November 17, 2012 at 3:17 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=uK9ZFhPodZ8

American Patriot1980 on November 17, 2012 at 5:21 AM

I can just see the film retrospective now:

“The Trillion Dollar Twinkie Presidency”

/wish-it-was-sarc-but-it’s-not>

landlines on November 17, 2012 at 10:31 PM