The Onion: Let’s face it, Paul Ryan scares the hell out of the left

posted at 10:12 pm on August 13, 2012 by Allahpundit

One pro-Republican Onion piece is a curiosity, two is a bona fide mystery. What’s going on over there? Did they get a new conservative writer or are they making a play for more right-wing readers? Or are they just as tired of Hopenchange at this point as the rest of us?

Presenting a new op-ed from “Paul Ryan” addressed to Democrats. Profanity ahead:

I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m smart, and I’m articulate. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of you. You can pretend like you have this thing in the bag, but you know good goddamn well that this race just got real interesting, real fast…

I have another question for you: How scared are you that I can convince people I’m right? Because I’m good at it. No, I’m really good at it. You see, I know how to turn up the charm and charisma without putting people off. Then I back up what I’m saying with arguments that, when they come out of my mouth, sound completely accurate and well-reasoned. And I do it with such passion that people automatically recognize me as a man with deep convictions he will stand up for, no matter what…

Yup, you should be scared shitless of me, because guess who isn’t? The people of Wisconsin. They love me. Republicans and Democrats there love me. Hell, I get Democrats to vote for me even if my policies make zero sense when it comes to their livelihoods. Do you know why? Because they like me. They like my story. Young, good-looking kid who pulled himself up by his bootstraps to make something of himself. Christ, I’m a storybook candidate. I balance out this ticket so well it’s almost too perfect. The people of Ohio are going to think that. And seniors in Florida—the state we supposedly lost when Mitt picked me—won’t be so scared as soon they know that my mother lives in Florida, and that all I want to do is reform the health care system so she can receive care that makes good fiscal sense.

Boy, I’m going to sell the shit out of that talking point. And I’m going to do a great job of it. Why? Because I’m Paul Ryan. That’s what I do.

That’s what he does. Meanwhile, what his counterpart does is draw fewer than 700 people to a rally in a key swing state. Funny thing: Reading that Onion piece, I kept waiting for the line about how he’s a right-wing lunatic who would destroy the country if given the chance, but it never comes. The closest they get is that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line about not being good for Democratic livelihoods. Romney may have picked the one Republican in America who even some (emphasis: some) reliable liberals can’t get too cynical about.

Although, in that case, how come so many of his advisors were allegedly such a drag about the pick?

Romney’s aides have stressed publicly in the 24 hours since Romney electrified conservatives with his choice that the pick was the governor’s alone. They have been less forthcoming on the flip side: That much of his staff opposed the choice for the same reason that many pundits considered it unlikely — that Ryan’s appealingly wonky public image and a personality Romney finds copasetic will matter far less than two different budget plans whose details the campaign now effectively owns…

Another Republican in conversation with the campaign — though not a member of the inner circle of Romney advisers — said the early skeptics tended to be the political professionals, including consultants Stuart Stevens and Russ Schriefer, and pollster Neil Newhouse, while Myers, foreign policy advisor Dan Senor, and ultimately Romney himself favored Ryan. (Those involved declined to shed light on the campaign’s most confidential conversations; and others, including Myers, disputed that characterization; she said Saturday she kept her opinion to herself.)

Not sure I buy any of it. For one thing, it seems completely out of character for Romney to go with his gut on a momentous decision if his political team, who steered him through the primaries, is begging him to stay cautious. Beyond that, Romney aides told Politico that they conducted not so much as a single poll or focus group on Ryan as VP before Romney picked him. Really? The guy who came up with the most serious entitlement reform package in decades, whom Democrats have been dying to demagogue as a granny-killer, warranted not even one poll in Florida before Team Mitt bet the campaign on him? Does that sound remotely like the Romney approach to politics to you? I think it’s more likely that the whole team was okay with picking Ryan, albeit some perhaps with misgivings, but they’re bending over backward to make it look like Romney’s decision alone because they’re enjoying the respect he’s getting from the base for being so bold. Let’s face it: Picking Ryan is the most, ahem, “severely conservative” thing Mitt’s ever done. Why shouldn’t he get all the credit?

Which doesn’t mean, of course, that Mitt’s going to embrace Ryan’s budget entirely. Ed Gillespie made clear yesterday that it’s still a Romney/Ryan ticket, not vice versa. Via Mediaite, here’s John Sununu making the same point to Matthews a bit more colorfully. Exit quotation: “I’m not dumb enough to pick the fact that the guy at the second place is going to call the shots.”


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Good on the Onion…

OmahaConservative on August 13, 2012 at 10:12 PM

Dan Rather said Paul Ryan is TOXIC to the ticket.

Think about that for a minute…….DAN RATHER.

PappyD61 on August 13, 2012 at 10:13 PM

The Onion was originally published in Madison. I remember it when I was in school at the UW in the 80s. They still like anything Wisconsin.

Ted Torgerson on August 13, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Nice.

FlatFoot on August 13, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Saw this earlier. Pretty good.

KCB on August 13, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Good!

Electrongod on August 13, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Now if they weren’t a bunch of FreeRiders….
Who would care..

Electrongod on August 13, 2012 at 10:16 PM

This’ll get reported tomorrow as a true story — “Ryan sends profanity-laced letter to Obama campaign” — and then “corrected” quietly a few hours later when no one’s paying attention. Not kidding. It will.

Rational Thought on August 13, 2012 at 10:17 PM

Wow. I’m stunned. But oddly… not surprised.

John the Libertarian on August 13, 2012 at 10:18 PM

Dan Rather said Paul Ryan is TOXIC to the ticket.

Dan Rather is toxic to Dan Rather

gerrym51 on August 13, 2012 at 10:18 PM

Dan Rather said Paul Ryan is TOXIC to the ticket.

Think about that for a minute…….DAN RATHER.

PappyD61 on August 13, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Hope that fossil still isn’t parading around as anything resembling an objective journalist.

changer1701 on August 13, 2012 at 10:19 PM

The Onion: Let’s face it, Paul Ryan scares the hell Sh!T out of the left

…fixed it!…there is no hell to scare out of the left…THEY ARE HELL!

KOOLAID2 on August 13, 2012 at 10:20 PM

Not too cocky, but I am feeling better about Nov…

ccrosby on August 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM

Beyond that, Romney aides told Politico that they conducted not so much as a single poll or focus group on Ryan as VP before Romney picked him. Really? The guy who came up with the most serious entitlement reform package in decades, whom Democrats have been dying to demagogue as a granny-killer, warranted not even one poll in Florida before Team Mitt bet the campaign on him? Does that sound remotely like the Romney approach to politics to you?

Maybe. I can buy the notion that Romney checked his own polling before picking Ryan, but didn’t bother polling the effect of choosing Ryan because even if it hurts him he still thinks he can pull out a win. It’s entirely possible that Romney’s so sure of himself that he picked a guy who will give him a real mandate to make significant changes. I want to believe.

Caiwyn on August 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM

Read it closely. Looks to me that they are trying to paint him as arrogant, and only pretending to care about his ’causes’. I think that they are trying to paint him as an evil phoney. That would make sense, since they can’t call him old or dumb.

CaliSam on August 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM

OH MY GOD was that funny… The Onion is usually funny, but this was so over the top funny it is insane. Best of all…. thousands of Democrats will read it, not know it was satire and not Paul Ryan and they will carp their pants.

1 Heartbeat Away from the Oval Office

SWalker on August 13, 2012 at 10:23 PM

The Onion, more reliable than the mainstream media…figures.

cozmo on August 13, 2012 at 10:23 PM

Mathews is always the smug prick.

CW on August 13, 2012 at 10:23 PM

Read it closely. Looks to me that they are trying to paint him as arrogant, and only pretending to care about his ’causes’. I think that they are trying to paint him as an evil phoney. That would make sense, since they can’t call him old or dumb.

CaliSam on August 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM

Don’t over-analyze it. It’s The Onion.

“I’m Paul Ryan. It’s what I do.”

SagebrushPuppet on August 13, 2012 at 10:25 PM

Burn the Math Witch!

(Read Iowahawk! ;)

Book on August 13, 2012 at 10:26 PM

Yep. Sarcastic blather. The left have gone insane. Again

scookam on August 13, 2012 at 10:28 PM

If ridiculing Obama and the Dems is becoming mainstreas, then it suggests that the bottom is about to fall out from under the One.

ghostwriter on August 13, 2012 at 10:29 PM

I think it’s more likely that the whole team was okay with picking Ryan, albeit some perhaps with misgivings, but they’re bending over backward to make it look like Romney’s decision alone because they’re enjoying the respect he’s getting from the base for being so bold. Let’s face it: Picking Ryan is the most, ahem, “severely conservative” thing Mitt’s ever done. Why shouldn’t he get all the credit?

I don’t care how Mitt and his team arrived at the selection of Ryan. Alls I know is that was the choice I wanted them to make all along, so I’m thrilled regardless. And I’ll confess, even I am stunned at how successful it’s been thus far. I knew the base would be excited with the pick, but I never thought we’d see crowds of 10,000+ at rallies, Democrats making up such blatant lies about Ryan’s budget proposal that even Wolf Blitzer is calling them out for their dishonesty, and Mitt Romney looking so rejuvenated on the campaign trail.

Doughboy on August 13, 2012 at 10:30 PM

I guess the comedy writers are finally figuring out they are eventually going to have to make SOME jokes about Dems and Obama since they are in power.

terryannonline on August 13, 2012 at 10:30 PM

The left have gone insane. Again

scookam on August 13, 2012 at 10:28 PM

I can’t remember a period of time when the were sane..

Electrongod on August 13, 2012 at 10:30 PM

Let’s face it: Picking Ryan is the most, ahem, “severely conservative”
==============

Thats it,I`m breaking out my,thesauraus booky thingy!

canopfor on August 13, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Romney surrogates are in a tough spot. In a 2008 replay the republican VP candidate outshines the actual nominee.

D.L.Mc on August 13, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Yes, he does. It’s palpable now.

SouthernGent on August 13, 2012 at 10:32 PM

” . . . scares the hell out of the left . . .”?

As Harry Truman once said, “I never gave anybody hell. I just told the truth and they think it’s hell.”

RedPepper on August 13, 2012 at 10:32 PM

Let’s face it. The Onion is right. Paul Ryan appeals to a broad range of people and Mitt Romney understands Identity politics just as much as Obama.

Paul Ryan appeals to:

Women (Dreamboat factor)
Catholics (He’s one of them)
Intelligent Independents (He’s a genius and he’s articulate)
Men (He’s not effeminate or soft)
Generation-X (He’s the first Gen-X candidate on either end of a ticket)
Tea-Pary Conservatives (enough said)
Seniors (Yes, Seniors. They aren’t stupid. They know he’s not touching their medicare.)

And he does this while not turning off any of Romney’s base to begin with and not being offensive to minorities.

This pick does nothing but good for Romney.

Corporal Tunnel on August 13, 2012 at 10:34 PM

For one thing, it seems completely out of character for Romney to go with his gut on a momentous decision if his political team, who steered him through the primaries, is begging him to stay cautious.

You just cannot help yourself, AP. Seriously, this is beyond tedious. Going against his advisors, if that is what he did, is not the same thing as “going with his gut.” His political team’s ONLY priority is winning the election. Mitt’s choice of Ryan, while not antithetical to that mission although perhaps not the best for that purpose, was clearly looked at with an eye towards governance. Mitt is dead serious about turning this country around and Ryan is the best partner he could recruit to bring that about.

MJBrutus on August 13, 2012 at 10:35 PM

I’m Paul Ryan, and d@mmit, I’m hot. And the left is scared of me cause I don’t wear mom jeans

skeeterbite on August 13, 2012 at 10:36 PM

If I am Joe Biden, I am sleeping with one eye open these days. O will toss him over the side for Hillary, if the polls tell him to.

VastRightWingConspirator on August 13, 2012 at 10:36 PM

Tru dat Electrongod

scookam on August 13, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Remind again please, why is Chrissy relevant? He badgers his guests is ill mannered and a mouth piece for the team 0 and the DNC. In short he is a leftist with not much of an audience. I have never even seen his show, except for the clips you play here. Does he hold sway over a multitude of people I don’t know about. I realize this could possibly be the case as I don’t waste my time with such drivel.

Bmore on August 13, 2012 at 10:37 PM

The closest they get is that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line about not being good for Democratic livelihoods.

By “Democratic livelihoods” I presumed they were referring to the public sector union demographic.

Sharke on August 13, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Sounds more as if his team was split than it was a case of bucking all of his advisors. Most probably wanted Pawlenty, a few wanted Ryan, and Romney made the correct executive decision among the choices at hand. Very much in character for Romney.

Gingotts on August 13, 2012 at 10:40 PM

Bmore on August 13, 2012 at 10:37 PM

He worked for Tip O’Neill and was a Jimmy Carter speechwriter. I think he wrote the infamous malaise speech. Those Dem credentials have continued to help him.

INC on August 13, 2012 at 10:40 PM

” . . . scares the hell out of the left . . .”?

As Harry Truman once said, “I never gave anybody hell. I just told the truth and they think it’s hell.”

RedPepper on August 13, 2012 at 10:32 PM

Harry Truman may never have “Given” anyone hell, but he sure as hell sent a lot of America’s enemies there in a hurry…

1 Heartbeat Away from the Oval Office

SWalker on August 13, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Not sure I buy any of it. For one thing, it seems completely out of character for Romney to go with his gut on a momentous decision if his political team, who steered him through the primaries, is begging him to stay cautious. Beyond that, Romney aides told Politico that they conducted not so much as a single poll or focus group on Ryan as VP before Romney picked him. Really?

Yeah, I think…. really.

There’s one thing Mitt has done most of his life especially at Bain. He hires the best. He knows how to do it.

Mitt’s choice of Ryan is significant because he knows what he wants, and his ego doesn’t get in the way of hiring the best and brightest. This is important. He isn’t afraid of being bested.
He loves this sort of thing. He knows that it pays off.

I’ll go one further and bet that if they win, Mitt will mentor and groom Ryan with a relationship between a President and VP that we have never seen before.

Kudos to Mitt. I grow more impressed with each day.

On a different note, Hugh Hewitt opened up the phones to women this evening to hear their reactions to the Ryan choice. No negative comments. In fact, they were all delighted.

Those callers may not be representative of the “womens’ vote” as they are conservatively inclined, but the larger, ornery group of female BO supporters (as the polls report) may begin to shift. Seriously, who would a woman rather have? A former pothead, babbling, golf-addicted, whiner? Or a guy one could only criticize for working too hard?

C’mon, ladies…..

Hardest hit…. Noonan, Parker, Dowd and Pudgy Mac.

Cody1991 on August 13, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Maybe it’s just me but I think a narcissist like Obama is bothered most by the fact that Ryan is hotter, fitter, more athletic,and smarter than him.

Obama knows his intelligence is just a fabrication–which is why he is glued to the prompter. He sounds like a stammering fool without it.

Remember when Obama was caught carrying around a copy of GQ with his picture on the cover? Who is more GQ than Ryan or Romney?
That’s got to bug the most arrogant man in the world.

bailey24 on August 13, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Sounds more as if his team was split than it was a case of bucking all of his advisors. Most probably wanted Pawlenty, a few wanted Ryan, and Romney made the correct executive decision among the choices at hand. Very much in character for Romney.

Gingotts on August 13, 2012 at 10:40 PM

Sounds like leadership to me.

SouthernGent on August 13, 2012 at 10:46 PM

Pure cynicism, but I think Romney’s campaign handlers want to disavow Ryan in case the election goes south. They want to know they can still pull down consulting gigs later on, and it would be tough to do if someone thought they strapped a ticking time bomb to their candidate. Much the same way McCain’s gurus somehow backed Palin for VP, then did their best to cut ties following the campaign.

If there’s something I trust less that professional politicians, it’s professional campaigners.

Sgt Steve on August 13, 2012 at 10:46 PM

For one thing, it seems completely out of character for Romney to go with his gut on a momentous decision if his political team, who steered him through the primaries, is begging him to stay cautious. Beyond that, Romney aides told Politico that they conducted not so much as a single poll or focus group on Ryan as VP before Romney picked him

Doesnt seem out of character. Mitt’s a CEO. You listen to the team, and then go with your gut.

Not that his team was uninvolved. Using Ryan allowed them to sucker punch the media for a fast gain

The MSM created a one dimensional Ryan. That was a tactical error because it allowed Romney to fill in the blanks and Ryan played well on camera.

That’s the deal with the polls. Polls would have been based on the artificial MSM created Ryan. Polls from Ryan’s home state, that is a different story and the biggest poll there is his election history

If one were cynical, one could say the Ryan entry allows a lot of good cop, bad cop gaming. Poker is played with a straight face, and many a farmer got skinned trying to deal a non descript horse trader

entagor on August 13, 2012 at 10:47 PM

The guy who came up with the most serious entitlement reform package in decades, whom Democrats have been dying to demagogue as a granny-killer, warranted not even one poll in Florida before Team Mitt bet the campaign on him? Does that sound remotely like the Romney approach to politics to you?

It tells you they were either pretty sure they would win regardless or they’re parsing the word poll. There seems to be plenty of evidence Republicans were drawing lessons from previous run-ins with Mediscare.

A third possibility is Romney may appear to be cautious data-driven politician but his business career gives a little insight into the one area Mitt seems to trust his instincts. He was notoriously good at picking the right people for a job. He was known to have an eye for talented people. I think it is possible, in retrospect to guess Mitt may have planned to choose Ryan all along. He met with him to discuss changes to Ryan-Wyden during the primaries. Last night’s CBS interview he was asked when he decided on Ryan and his answer struck me as pretty telling. He never said exactly when but kept reinforcing he kept an open mind during the process. I had a feeling he was saying he really evaluated the others against Ryan.

It’s a hunch but Romney clearly is a changed candidate when Ryan is by his side. Say what you will about Romney but he didn’t have all that success in business without knowing the type people he needs around him. Ryan was – hands down – who he would have chosen at Bain. I doubt he poll tested the people he chose there, they either impressed him or they didn’t. I think Mitt may have trusted himself on this one decision more than others he has or will make.

msmveritas on August 13, 2012 at 10:47 PM

lol…he makes cherrybombbigbeaver nipps hard.

Be very afraid..he has some swoon factor.

Not for me..but he will be some nice eye candy-and he has a nice personality, intelligent, articulate..the total package.
Not my fave on some views..but it aint about me. Its about the indy crowd. I think he will go over well. Just me feelings.
He isnt a raving So/con either..helps. He comes across well.

I find it hilarious he is being framed as scary to women..sure..and so is Mitt. So extreme. LOL.

bazil9 on August 13, 2012 at 10:47 PM

Bmore on August 13, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Without the byline you would never believe Chris Matthews wrote this:

What Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill could teach Washington today

INC on August 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM

You better like Paul Ryan or he’ll bring out the big guns.

txag92 on August 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM

Beyond that, Romney aides told Politico that they conducted not so much as a single poll or focus group on Ryan as VP before Romney picked him

Good! I’m tired of polls and focus groups!

terryannonline on August 13, 2012 at 10:49 PM

I’m praying for a Romney/Ryan landside for the sake of my disabled child and the sake of our country’s few remaining freedoms.

sherrimae on August 13, 2012 at 10:49 PM

Hey if Al-Jazeera is real “news” like *Hillary said then the ONION must be the New York Times.

*wait, let me check with Huma on that.

PappyD61 on August 13, 2012 at 10:50 PM

Palinites take note.

If Sarah had the rhetorical skills and knoledge base of Mr Ryan, she never could have been palinized.

rickyricardo on August 13, 2012 at 10:52 PM

If I am Joe Biden, I am sleeping with one eye open these days. O will toss him over the side for Hillary, if the polls tell him to.

VastRightWingConspirator on August 13, 2012 at 10:36 PM

Nope. I think that ship has sailed…and will be circling the drain soon. They probably wish they’d swapped Joe out for a VP with a working brain, because even if they won reelection, he wouldn’t have a hope in hell of winning the top job in 2016. If they could manage the switcharoo, they’d like to spin it as a bold new direction, but it would be too easy to characterize as a desperate ploy that wouldn’t solve any of the problems the campaign really has. Everyone knows Joe’s an idiot, so the debate is a write off and a one-off. Their best bet is to arrange for a bushel of squirrels to be let loose during the debate so that Joe’s answers seem to have some basis in reality.

CitizenEgg on August 13, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Already, I could tell this evening on Special Report that idiot girl Kristen Powers was starting to rethink her snarky, no- not snarky, NASTY column on Romney’s choice of Ryan. This isn’t playing out like they thought it would; they thought it would immediately be a total disaster, and Ryan is up 20 points with independents? bwahahahahahha. I can’t wait for mean, angry Barry to become a permanent fixture on the campaign trail!

BettyRuth on August 13, 2012 at 10:53 PM

Bmore on August 13, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Hello Mr B.

He wrote speeches for the peanut..you know..the other great POTUS in history.

I have watched him..he isnt relevant and fat slobbering boob. He is obnoxious (imagine that) and he does this thing..like he has a saliva/salivating problem when he speaks..slurp sounds..trust me..be glad you never watched in entire “show”.
he also was the one who said Zero gave him a leg tingle. Thats all u need to know. ;)

bazil9 on August 13, 2012 at 10:53 PM

You better like Paul Ryan or he’ll bring out the big guns.

txag92 on August 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM

Holy crap! No photo shop?

I have to drop the AC by 10 degrees.

Cody1991 on August 13, 2012 at 10:54 PM

You better like Paul Ryan or he’ll bring out the big guns.

txag92 on August 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM

He looks like a fit guy but those are some well-defined arms there!

terryannonline on August 13, 2012 at 10:54 PM

The only thing I’m worried about is that we’ll end up screwing ourselves with the Voter ID laws simply because there are apparently tons of unnamed Republicans out there.

BKeyser on August 13, 2012 at 10:56 PM

You better like Paul Ryan or he’ll bring out the big guns.

txag92 on August 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM

I didn’t even have to click on that to know that it was probably the picture TMZ has been running all day. I found the fact that they had nothing nasty to say about Paul Ryan to be very telling- It’s almost impossible to find something to complain about him with, figures that a celebrity/news site would focus on his good looks.

BettyRuth on August 13, 2012 at 10:57 PM

rickyricardo on August 13, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Yawn..this aint about Palin. Go find Lucy and hit a drum.

bazil9 on August 13, 2012 at 10:57 PM

Ryan will use his secret weapon against the Left… math.

Yakko77 on August 13, 2012 at 10:57 PM

Sounds like leadership to me.

SouthernGent on August 13, 2012 at 10:46 PM

Yep. It’s going to be nice having that characteristic back in the White House… and at #1 Observatory Circle.

Gingotts on August 13, 2012 at 10:57 PM

That Onion article makes me giddy because it reflects everything I’ve been thinking the last couple of days.

The Count on August 13, 2012 at 10:57 PM

For one thing, it seems completely out of character for Romney to go with his gut on a momentous decision if his political team, who steered him through the primaries, is begging him to stay cautious.

Seriously? Do you even know what private equity is? Romney made his fortune going with his “gut” on momentous decisions — yes, he did the research first, but ultimately the decision to invest in company X and not in company Y was a gut decision — and he did it with an almost 80% success rate. Those results show he’s got excellent instincts and what you see as “caution” is actually called “patience” — a rare commodity in today’s “instant gratification takes too long” world, but one that is vital to the kind of success Romney has had and one that will be vital for him to win the election given the way the MSM carries Obama’s water.

This just shows, again, that your judgement about Romney and how he operates is colored by your personal feelings of him.

Dark Star on August 13, 2012 at 10:59 PM

Not to take anything away from Ryan, whom I admire, but I don’t think that he’s very good looking.

Ladies I’m sure you find him attractive, but not because of his looks.

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

Dark Star on August 13, 2012 at 10:59 PM

Hey guy or gal..still trying to catch up with you!
γεια φίλο

bazil9 on August 13, 2012 at 11:03 PM

I loved reading that, and it speaks to a larger truth. They talk one way, but most of liberals with common sense know this just got serious. We’re now going to force them into some uncomfortable conversations. That will cut both ways, of course, but Mitt just upped the ante. He’s not the smoothest impromptu speaker perhaps, but he can hold his own. One thing for certain, both men on the ticket are nothing if not prepared.

I’m encouraged for reasons besides the fact he’s Paul Ryan and that’s what he does. Here’s what I hope and think they are prepared to do.

- Obama is vulnerable on entitlements. Namely that he drained the fairly popular one to launch an unpopular one. Romney was johnny on the spot in pointing that out in primary debates, and honestly I questioned which way to interpret that back then. With Ryan he now gets credit from most for best intentions, and sure enough, one day after the choice he started hammering it again.

-Connected to that, and it’s been beaten to death, but Romney has had a problem attacking Obamacare, for obvious reasons. This opens his window to attack Obamacare without leaving himself so vulnerable. He didn’t pay for Romneycare by stealing from seniors, and that’s no small distinction.

- Axelrod went to the gutter so early on felonies and murder, that it’s going to take longer for their takedown of Paul Ryan to get past the noise. There is a window here for us to define Ryan. Talk about pushing granny off the cliff or whatever…the response should be and will be that these are the guys that are content to still let if float out there that Romney might be complicit in murder. So, yeah, why don’t you just do your own research, listen to what Ryan says, and give him a chance?

- We need to take advantage of this window and spend some money on putting Obama on the defensive with entitlements right now, and position Romney and Ryan as the people who have a plan.

Then Paul Ryan can help Romney articulate that plan in a big way, because he’s Paul Ryan.

stldave on August 13, 2012 at 11:04 PM

Heh. TMZ should be using this one by the irrepressible S.Weasel
http://sweasel.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/ryancolor.jpg

CitizenEgg on August 13, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

Sorry Johnny, he’s a very good looking man- and so is Mitt. I think Ryan’s good looks are going to really annoy Barry; for so long, he’s been the (gag) “young, good looking political candidate”. Sorry Pal, new kid in town- you’re yesterday’s news.

BettyRuth on August 13, 2012 at 11:08 PM

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

He has nice eyes. Jon Stewart just did a skit of being memorized by his blue eyes. LOL!

Although, I do think he has big nose though. (By the way I have a big nose myself….so I know I how that it is! LOL!)

terryannonline on August 13, 2012 at 11:12 PM

Ready for more fun?

Al Sharpton is on the case:

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/greghengler/2012/08/13/sharpton_the_only_working_paul_ryan_does_is_working_outwe_gotcha

BTW, who made Al cut off the greasy hair? I hardly recognized him.

Cody1991 on August 13, 2012 at 11:12 PM

Their best bet is to arrange for a bushel of squirrels to be let loose during the debate so that Joe’s answers seem to have some basis in reality.

CitizenEgg on August 13, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Now that’s funny right there …

OneFreeMan on August 13, 2012 at 11:14 PM

Me and Mr. Hottie in the beach love scene from In Harm’s Way

skeeterbite on August 13, 2012 at 11:17 PM

If I am Joe Biden, I am sleeping with one eye open these days. O will toss him over the side for Hillary, if the polls tell him to.

VastRightWingConspirator on August 13, 2012 at 10:36 PM

Naah. The Clintons are past that. They likely see little Bammie losing, and they don’t want to join a losing ticket. Better for Hillary to be fresh (!) for 2016 without the stink of little Bammie and a fresh loss all over her.

Anyway, I understood that it was Moochie and Val that nixed her in 2008; too-many-hens syndrome.

slickwillie2001 on August 13, 2012 at 11:18 PM

Not to take anything away from Ryan, whom I admire, but I don’t think that he’s very good looking.

Ladies I’m sure you find him attractive, but not because of his looks.

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

He’s definitely attractive, especially for a politician. But he’s got substance and confidence which gives him that extra advantage. So overall, he’s looking and sounding pretty good.

Urban Infidel on August 13, 2012 at 11:25 PM

Nice post. I’ve been a fan of The Onion for many years and always suspected there were at least a few conservatives working there. Unlike the Daily Show or Colbert Report, I never found it to be overly leftist. Accordingly, The Onion is actually funny.

bigbeas on August 13, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Read it closely. Looks to me that they are trying to paint him as arrogant, and only pretending to care about his ’causes’. I think that they are trying to paint him as an evil phoney. That would make sense, since they can’t call him old or dumb.

CaliSam on August 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM

Yeah, it’s essentially Krugman’s take on him in thin disguise. The JonBenet thing, however, is pretty much genuine disgust, if only because it’s so transparently rotten and harmful to Democrats. The Onion now has Tom Lehrer’s old problem, reality is more surreal than their comedy.

ebrown2 on August 13, 2012 at 11:43 PM

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

Actually, Ryan’s competence, intelligence, devotion to his family and his abiity to speak about conservative ideas/plans with clarity and passion is extremely sexy to this middle-aged conservative gal.

The deliciously fit body and gorgeous soulful eyes are just gravy. ;)

Best part? Poor widdle Obama isn’t the ‘hot young thing’ for the American Idol set anymore. Ryan makes him look old and skinny and tired. heheh

Kirin on August 13, 2012 at 11:45 PM

It’s satire! Allah was silly to promote it as pro-Ryan. It says Paul Ryan is a BS artist who can get people to follow him, even though everything he stands for is evil.

Rusty Allen on August 13, 2012 at 11:47 PM

Here’s the problem: He’s #2 on the ticket. Eventually the press stopped covering Palin. They’ll stop covering Ryan too.

He should have been #1 on the ticket, but he decided not to run for President.

lorien1973 on August 13, 2012 at 11:48 PM

Not to take anything away from Ryan, whom I admire, but I don’t think that he’s very good looking.

Ladies I’m sure you find him attractive, but not because of his looks.

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

He’s a hottie. Smokin’. But I’ve always been a sucker for men who can do math. Add those blue eyes and work ethic and loves his family WOWZA.

BTW, I also think Romney is very handsome.

idalily on August 13, 2012 at 11:53 PM

It’s satire! Allah was silly to promote it as pro-Ryan. It says Paul Ryan is a BS artist who can get people to follow him, even though everything he stands for is evil.

Rusty Allen on August 13, 2012 at 11:47 PM

It’s pro-Ryan in the sense that they are worried about him. Ignore the other stuff, it’s boilerplate.

lorien1973 on August 13, 2012 at 11:56 PM

The only thing I’m worried about is that we’ll end up screwing ourselves with the Voter ID laws simply because there are apparently tons of unnamed Republicans out there.

BKeyser on August 13, 2012 at 10:56 PM

heh. Wasn’t it FrankJ over at IMAO who joked that the repub nominee ought to legally change their name to ‘generic republican’ because that always polled better than a specific candidate?

AndStatistics on August 13, 2012 at 11:59 PM

Actually, Ryan’s competence, intelligence, devotion to his family and his abiity to speak about conservative ideas/plans with clarity and passion is extremely sexy to this middle-aged conservative gal.

Kirin on August 13, 2012 at 11:45 PM

That might be sexiness to women, but I see it as incredible manliness which is severely lacking in today’s America.

Hunter, fisher, athletic, family man…you just don’t see real men like that today, only beta-males (no offense, Allah?)

Aizen on August 14, 2012 at 12:01 AM

As simple as it may sound, the Onion started in Madison…Wisconsin.

The state is Romney’s on a platter with Ryan on the ticket.

MadisonConservative on August 14, 2012 at 12:05 AM

Not to take anything away from Ryan, whom I admire, but I don’t think that he’s very good looking.

Ladies I’m sure you find him attractive, but not because of his looks.

Agree? Disagree?

Johnny 100 Pesos on August 13, 2012 at 11:02 PM

I think he’s physically attractive. But he also has a charming, easy going nature and he’s smart so that coupled with being tall, muscular, perfect hair, and sparkely blue eyes… its a powerful combination.

magicbeans on August 14, 2012 at 12:08 AM

This isn’t satire.

redeye on August 14, 2012 at 12:09 AM

Funny thing: Reading that Onion piece, I kept waiting for the line about how he’s a right-wing lunatic who would destroy the country if given the chance, but it never comes.

Yeah, they did a good job not going the obvious route.

theperfecteconomist on August 14, 2012 at 12:15 AM

This isn’t satire.

redeye on August 14, 2012 at 12:09 AM

I think you might want to revisit that opinion at the halftime report.

Difficultas_Est_Imperium on August 14, 2012 at 12:17 AM

For one thing, it seems completely out of character for Romney to go with his gut on a momentous decision if his political team, who steered him through the primaries, is begging him to stay cautious.

Ugh AP you understand so little about Romney and this sentence proves it.

Have you ever been around Romney types? Ever? Day in day out watching how they lead and make decisions?

I have, for years…..it is completely IN character for a man like Romney to make a decision like this on his own instinct.

Real world leaders who have been as successful as Romney has; it’s how they operate.

sheryl on August 14, 2012 at 12:19 AM

That might be sexiness to women, but I see it as incredible manliness which is severely lacking in today’s America.

Hunter, fisher, athletic, family man…you just don’t see real men like that today, only beta-males (no offense, Allah?)

Aizen on August 14, 2012 at 12:01 AM

I agree! The essence of a manly man…both brains and brawn, mixed with total dedication to his family. But then, I’ve always been attracted to manly men. ‘Tis why my idea of a chick flick is something like Gladiator or 300. Gorgeous, physically fit men, wearing skimpy outfits, waving swords and willing to fight and, if necessary, die for an ideal. What’s not to love?? :D

Kirin on August 14, 2012 at 12:20 AM

I stopped giving The Onion any of my page views long time ago. Got tired of their left wing smarm.

ButterflyDragon on August 14, 2012 at 12:45 AM

The Onion turns into Rap Scallions?

profitsbeard on August 14, 2012 at 1:02 AM

Does that sound remotely like the Romney approach to politics to you? I think it’s more likely that the whole team was okay with picking Ryan, albeit some perhaps with misgivings, but they’re bending over backward to make it look like Romney’s decision alone because they’re enjoying the respect he’s getting from the base for being so bold.

Have you read any of Romney’s books? Have you listened to any of his speeches, particularly the one he gave to he Newspaper Editors Association (it’s on CSPAN)?

What is more likely is that Romney has a second team. A sort of “out of the box, brainstorming” team that isn’t his “official” team. He probably has a “skunkworks” team someplace. It might be small, two or three people, and those two or three people might not even talk to each other. But he might say something like “hey, run the numbers on Ryan as my VP and tell me what you get” or maybe one of those guys says to him “hey, we just did a focus group with Ryan as VP and it pegged the meter”.

Romney never makes a decision without hearing both pro and con. If “everybody” on his team was against Ryan, then he is getting additional information from someone else. He even said so in that speech I mentioned above. He said he would go outside the group to hear both sides of a decision if everyone on his team were in lockstep agreement.

Romney is a very smart man. He isn’t going to let a gaggle of “yes men” blind him on things. He’s going to go outside the group to validate the information he is getting from them.

crosspatch on August 14, 2012 at 1:26 AM

Romney’s primary focus is to get the economy going again. Notice that Ryan said in the CBS interview that his skills COMPLIMENT Romney’s. If Romney’s primary focus is going to be on the economy, then he now has someone on his team that has key “inside baseball” knowledge of how the Congressional budget cycle works. That would be a gap in Romney’s knowledge that Ryan can act as a compliment to fill. Romney has strong knowledge of the private sector economy and can fill that gap in Ryan’s understanding. Romney has one of the strongest government economic brains on his team who ALSO happens to be charismatic and is a strong, no-nonsense speaker who tells it like it is.

crosspatch on August 14, 2012 at 1:46 AM

The state is Romney’s on a platter with Ryan on the ticket.

MadisonConservative on August 14, 2012 at 12:05 AM

That’s good to know. You were dead on target about the Scott Walker recall even when a lot of people (me included) were getting nervous.

Doomberg on August 14, 2012 at 1:55 AM

I stopped giving The Onion any of my page views long time ago. Got tired of their left wing smarm.

ButterflyDragon on August 14, 2012 at 12:45 AM

As a conservative, I love reading left wing smarm.

I feel isolated if I don’t know left from right.

V-rod on August 14, 2012 at 2:02 AM

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