We here at Hot Air hope all of our friends and readers have a fun, patriotic, and safe Independence Day celebration — and just to be clear on that last part, here are a few pointers:

  1. Do not stick fireworks in your rear end.
  2. Do not stick fireworks in your friends’ rear ends.
  3. Rules 1 and 2 apply no matter how much beer you drink.

You might think that these common-sense safety tips hardly need to be spoken aloud, but that’s probably because you haven’t seen this collection of firework idiocy from WorldWideInterweb. They’ve collected two and a half minutes of reminders why we have safety messages on irons that warn us about using them on clothes while we’re wearing them.  Via Dina Fraioli on Twitter, here is this year’s Fireworks Fail Montage — and needless to say, please observe the official Not Safe For Work content warning:

I almost forgot Rule 4: Bring ointment.