Are you Fugly? There’s an app for that.

posted at 5:31 pm on May 5, 2012 by Jazz Shaw

As the latest in our line of Hot Air Public Services to Improve Your Lives, we bring you yet another essential tool for managing your affairs. Even if you happen to have a job, friends and your health, you still need something to worry about. So with that in mind… are you good looking enough? Even if you think you’re not too hard on the eyes, how would you really know? Your friends may not be all that reliable of a guide. After all, if they truly like you, maybe they just don’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you that you’ve actually got a face that could peel paint off the walls.

Fear not! There’s an app for that.

“When your friends won’t tell you the truth, the Ugly Meter will.” So goes the tagline for the latest iPhone app sensation, which recently shot up to second place in the iPhone app store, just behind Angry Birds. The app was also the top seller in China for weeks. Created by Jo Overline and Ryan Allen of Arizona, the app has been around since 2010, but only hit the mainstream after its latest iteration, the Ugly Meter Pro, was featured on Howard Stern’s radio show. Here, a guide to the iPhone’s newest hit:

How does the Ugly Meter work?
The app snaps your picture, then “scans” your face, calculating its contours, symmetry, and proportions. The app pronounces your ugliness on a scale of 1 to 10 — with 10 being the ugliest — accompanied by corresponding quips. A low score will earn you praise (“You’re so hot that you make the sun jealous”), while a high score will result in insults (“You’re so ugly, you could make a glass eye cry”).

The article chooses to focus on whether or not this app will be used by school children as a tool for bullying, but then again, what doesn’t get that treatment these days? It seems to me that bullies will be bullies and it’s up to parents to handle that, not Apple.

So does it work? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, but there seem to be a few standards that most people agree on. Angelina Jolie scored a 2 on the Ugly Meter. (So hot she makes the sun jealous.) David Cameron rings up a score of seven. (If ugly were bricks, you’d be the great wall of China.) So far so good.

But the same tool rated Cheryl Cole with a 4.2. (Wow, you’re ugly! Is your doctor a vet?) Dannii Minogue nearly pegged the meter on the ugly side at 9.8 and Brad Pitt came in as uglier than David Cameron. Is there really any sort of high tech facial recognition behind this program, or is it just ripping you off for a few bucks and popping out random scores?

I don’t use an iPhone, but I’m sure many of Hot Air’s readers do. Anybody have this app loaded up? How did you score?


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Thanks for posting Popeye’s mugshot!

:P

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 5, 2012 at 5:34 PM

Liberal feminazis hardest hit.

John the Libertarian on May 5, 2012 at 5:35 PM

Must be a slow news day. What next, an opera singing bear?

MaiDee on May 5, 2012 at 5:36 PM

If you gotta buy this to know the answer to the question, then you’re a 12…

Gingotts on May 5, 2012 at 5:38 PM

Must be a slow news day. What next, an opera singing bear?

MaiDee on May 5, 2012 at 5:36 PM

You asked. And now, back to our thread.

de rigueur on May 5, 2012 at 5:41 PM

For a second there I thought it was this picture: Hey, Let’s Flush $105 Million Down The Drain On “Efficient Cooking Solutions” To Stop Global Warming

slickwillie2001 on May 5, 2012 at 5:41 PM

Julia.

rogerb on May 5, 2012 at 5:46 PM

The app was also the top seller in China for weeks.

“You’re so ugly, you could make a glass eye cry”

To the handsome, blind Chinese dissident, the one-glass-eyed man is king…

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 5, 2012 at 5:46 PM

I don’t need to buy an iPhone then spend a couple of bucks on an app to tell me I’m Fugly. The mirror is a constant reminder of that fact.

mr.blacksheep on May 5, 2012 at 5:50 PM

de rigueur

Amazing!!! I had no idea!!!! (LOL)

MaiDee on May 5, 2012 at 5:50 PM

THAT PICTURE. I CAN’T EVEN.

Sachiko on May 5, 2012 at 5:52 PM

But are the descriptions as inventive as Greg Gutfeld’s? I suspect not.

Fenris on May 5, 2012 at 5:56 PM

If you let an even never app take a picture of your wallet, it will estimate your “revised attraction level“.

profitsbeard on May 5, 2012 at 6:01 PM

After seeing that picture I feel better about myself… slightly. Sorry, ladies, I am not the Adonis you imagined me to be… and don’t call me “Brick!”

ExpressoBold on May 5, 2012 at 6:03 PM

I used it to take a picture of my ass and it said “You’re quite hideous but still a good deal better looking than Michael Moore.”

radjah shelduck on May 5, 2012 at 6:12 PM

Average liberal chick stands a chance on facebook. Technology is grand.

-
OT— from the GatewayPundit

Leadership: Obama Administration Drafted Memo to Blame Military if OBL Mission Failed

Former Attorney General Michael Mukasey told Sean Hannity tonight that the Obama Administration drafted a memo to protect the president from blame if the mission to kill or capture Osama Bin Laden would have failed. That way Obama could blame the general instead of taking the blame himself. Mukasey wrote about it this week in The Wall Street Journal.

“That was a highly lawyered memo (designed to protect the president politically)… I think there’s going to be more that’s going to be tumbling out about that escapade but so far that memo is enough.“

CW on May 5, 2012 at 6:14 PM

I got a dang mirror. Don’t need no stinking app.

LegendHasIt on May 5, 2012 at 6:17 PM

dws will be getten this?
L

letget on May 5, 2012 at 6:17 PM

Wow a Debbie Wasaman Schultz app, if ugly was money you’d be the national debt…….

angrymike on May 5, 2012 at 6:21 PM

Expresso brick??????…….. lol

angrymike on May 5, 2012 at 6:24 PM

No comment.

Ugly on May 5, 2012 at 6:24 PM

This a MUST for h thomas? Thank goodness these have come up with something to make them ‘feel wanted’?
L

letget on May 5, 2012 at 6:25 PM

letget
I was looking over your shoulder ……..

angrymike on May 5, 2012 at 6:26 PM

Yer so ugly you could make a freight train take a dirt road….

BigWyo on May 5, 2012 at 6:32 PM

…did Hillary get a brush cut?

KOOLAID2 on May 5, 2012 at 6:35 PM

Ms.Fluke and Michelle Obama…and not to forget Hillary, especially of late

Schadenfreude on May 5, 2012 at 6:40 PM

Expresso brick??????…….. lol

angrymike on May 5, 2012 at 6:24 PM

.
Brick, Samantha Brick… that’s not my na… hey! I see what you did there!

ExpressoBold on May 5, 2012 at 6:48 PM

Expressobold
Heh

angrymike on May 5, 2012 at 6:54 PM

the latest iPhone app sensation, which recently shot up to second place in the iPhone app store, just behind Angry Birds.

Kinda gives you an insight into the mind of the average iPhone user I’d say…

Big John on May 5, 2012 at 7:04 PM

I’m a 10 for the first time in my life!!

Stop looking at me!!

bs4948800 on May 5, 2012 at 7:06 PM

Thanks for posting Popeye’s mugshot!

:P

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 5, 2012 at 5:34 PM

Blow me down!

SagebrushPuppet on May 5, 2012 at 7:40 PM

What a brilliant business idea. Now that they are getting all the free publicity, they can start selling beauty points to lower your ugliness score.

pedestrian on May 5, 2012 at 7:43 PM

Blow me down!

SagebrushPuppet on May 5, 2012 at 7:40 PM

I yam what I yam!

:D

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 5, 2012 at 8:00 PM

My collie says:

Here’s a few pairs of indiviuals that received identical scores:

1. Mass murderer who was a member of the Soviet secret police

2. Hideous alien creature that sucks all the electrolytes out of its victims

3. Velociraptor

CyberCipher on May 5, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Dammit, when are they going to bring out an app to tell me whether or not my breath stinks?

Sharke on May 5, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Well I am what I am, what I am, what I am . . .

Spinach, anyone?

listens2glenn on May 5, 2012 at 8:08 PM

CyberCipher on May 5, 2012 at 8:04 PM

.
Good grief, those were funny!

ExpressoBold on May 5, 2012 at 8:08 PM

One of the things I like about Hotair is its relative sobriety: Usually I don’t expect to be assaulted with horrible pictures or really distasteful headlines about things that don’t need to be publicized–the sort of thing Drudge frequently does, unfortunately.

Then there was this post….

Allendundit on May 5, 2012 at 8:49 PM

I rated a 5.2. As a control, I ran it again, but this time as a female. That got me a 10.

Fwiw, my lovely, Slavic wife got a 1.2.

I think they’re onto something.

SWLiP on May 5, 2012 at 8:52 PM

I don’t need this to know I’m an eleventy.

Steve Eggleston on May 5, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Well I am what I am, what I am, what I am . . .

Spinach, anyone?

listens2glenn on May 5, 2012 at 8:08 PM

Yum!

:D

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 5, 2012 at 9:23 PM

Sooooo, I’m gonna spend money for an app to tell me if I’m ugly or not? Is there an app to tell me if I’m STUPID or not? Get a life folks!!!

hpk1942 on May 5, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Is there an app to tell me if I’m STUPID or not?

hpk1942 on May 5, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Yes and it’s free.

This article.

VorDaj on May 5, 2012 at 10:08 PM

“I love Popeye! I love Popeye!”

— Alice the Goon

PatriotGal2257 on May 5, 2012 at 10:09 PM

I used it on myself and got 2.0 “You’re so hot you set of thermostats”. (LOL, I’m not.)

Then I used it on my arch enemy and got 7.0 “You’re so ugly they make you use handicapped parking”. (Absolutely true IMHO. Heh.)

Quite satisfying.

jix on May 5, 2012 at 10:13 PM

*set off thermostats*

jix on May 5, 2012 at 10:14 PM

I wonder how it would rate Obama Bin Liar.

flyfisher on May 5, 2012 at 10:54 PM

“I love Popeye! I love Popeye!”

— Alice the Goon

PatriotGal2257 on May 5, 2012 at 10:09 PM

Loved it! And everyone in that cartoon hits a 12 on the “Ugly-tron”. Loved Alice’s voice, tho.

:)

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 5, 2012 at 11:49 PM

But are the descriptions as inventive as Greg Gutfeld’s? I suspect not.

Fenris on May 5, 2012 at 5:56 PM

Are anyone’s? That what keeps Red Eye on the air, Gut’s world-class snark.

Freelancer on May 6, 2012 at 12:14 AM

Must be a slow news day. What next, an opera singing bear?

MaiDee on May 5, 2012 at 5:36 PM

You asked. And now, back to our thread.

de rigueur on May 5, 2012 at 5:41 PM

Thanks. A welcome diversion.

Kevin K. on May 6, 2012 at 8:26 AM

I bought this app and played around with it a bit. With 5 different but basically the same pictures of me, I measured all over the place, 9.7 being the highest and 3.2 being the lowest. Smiling seems to help your score a bit but even then, the readings seem more random than they should be. Perhaps a standardized way to take your picture would help…dunno.

The value here seems to be truly as a conversation piece and at .99, what the heck. I put it in the same catagory as one of those griper “love meters” you gave quarters to at Farrell’s Ice Cream back in the day.

starman on May 6, 2012 at 8:58 AM

I used it to take a picture of my ass and it said “You’re quite hideous but still a good deal better looking than Michael Moore.”

radjah shelduck on May 5, 2012 at 6:12 PM

This is the best Michael Moore putdown I have ever seen. I laughed till I cried! hahahahahahahaha

gajaw999 on May 6, 2012 at 8:18 PM

Is there an app to tell me if I’m STUPID or not?

hpk1942 on May 5, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Don’t need an app for that. Are you Liberal? Well, then you’re STUPID! Simple.

NOMOBO on May 6, 2012 at 10:20 PM