Important message from “tanning mom”: My critics are jealous, fat, and ugly

posted at 10:07 pm on May 3, 2012 by Allahpundit

The good news? Her skin here looks … not quite “normal,” but normal-ish. It’s more of a George Hamilton orange than deep brown leather. The bad news? Last night’s dumb post was the most heavily trafficked on the site today, by a fairly wide margin. Good lord, people. The campaign’s not that boring. (No, it is. I know.)

Serious question: How did her face turn that leathery brown color? When I first saw it, I thought maybe she had some sort of bronzer on but (a) I don’t think bronzer typically is that dark and (b) if she did, she would have wiped it off before doing the interview, right? Was that … her actual skin after she does a session in the tanning booth? C’mon. It can’t possibly turn that astoundingly dark and then revert to a semi-normal color in just a day or two, can it?

Can it?

Krentcil does admit that she enjoys tanning — perhaps a bit too much — but all those hours in UV light have likely damaged the collagen in Krentcil’s skin, causing her leathery, brown visage.

“That’s a result of chronic exposure, which causes darkening of the skin,” says Dr. Shannon Campbell, clinical assistant professor of general dermatology and cutaneous oncology at The Ohio State University James Cancer Center.

While many people just desire a bronze color, a tan is actually the body’s way of protecting itself. “Why is she so dark? Tanning is a protective mechanism that the body has and it is sign of skin damage if the body tans. That explains why her skin is so dark,” says Campbell.

Any dermatologists out there in the audience? What exactly were we looking at last night?

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Her husband wakes from nightmares

…and she’s still there!

:P

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 4, 2012 at 1:00 AM

Her husband wakes from nightmares

…and she’s still there!

:P

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 4, 2012 at 1:00 AM

You mean, “Her husband wakes up to nightmares that wont go away”…

SWalker on May 4, 2012 at 1:08 AM

My boyfriend (assuming the lights are off) might be jealous of her husband–I have all of my teeth.

JackofNoTrades on May 4, 2012 at 1:10 AM

Actually as far as bad tans go she’s probably only a 6 or 7, as you can confirm for yourself by browsing this wonderful site http://www.badtans.com/

Sharke on May 4, 2012 at 1:26 AM

I’m not a dermatologist but I’d guess she bought and unfortunately used a very dark foundation.

Fallon on May 3, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Hershey, cocoa, or clay?

arnold ziffel on May 4, 2012 at 12:47 AM

None of the above. It’s Cabot Oak Brown Deck Stain #349012

NightmareOnKStreet on May 4, 2012 at 1:32 AM

Here is a picture of her with another one of her 5 kids at the beach.

NightmareOnKStreet on May 4, 2012 at 1:36 AM

I’ve just had an epiphany!

The two biggest stories of the week — Obama’s composite girlfriend, and the bizarre tanning mom — are the same story!

Remember how Obama’s tale concluded in Dreams From My Father:

When we got back to the car she started crying. She couldn’t be black, she said. She would if she could, but she couldn’t. She could only be herself, and wasn’t that enough.

Fast forward a few decades, and the advancement of technology — namely, tanning beds — has suddenly allowed her to finally become black!

Tanning Mom is the missing girlfriend!

I’m only half-joking. Ever since Jack Kerouac declared his wish to be black (in the late ’50s) and his feeling of inadequacy at never being able to achieve his goal, being “black” and being “cool” or “hip” have been equivalent in American culture.

While in the 1600s it was hip to be pale, because it indicated you didn’t work outdoors and thus must be an aristocrat, starting in the ’60s it was hip to darker, so tanning was suddenly “in”, and the fad has only been internalized culture-wide since then. (Punk and Goth were a pushback, but that’s a different story).

This woman may not even know why she prefers to acquire brown skin, but it almost certainly has its origins in a societal fad for fetishizing blackness (i.e. African-Americanness). Obama’s mystery girlfriend confronted it more directly and flailingly, but it ultimately is the same desire.

Zombie on May 4, 2012 at 1:39 AM

Can I have my PhD now?

Zombie on May 4, 2012 at 1:44 AM

I’m not a dermatologist but I’d guess she bought and unfortunately used a very dark foundation.
Fallon on May 3, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Hershey, cocoa, or clay?

arnold ziffel on May 4, 2012 at 12:47 AM

None of the above. It’s Cabot Oak Brown Deck Stain #349012

NightmareOnKStreet on May 4, 2012 at 1:32 AM

Thread Winner!
At work tomorrow folks will be thinking I’ve lost my marbles because I’ll be laughing about this to myself all the live long day! I do NOT look good in a straight jacket!

Bubba Redneck on May 4, 2012 at 1:48 AM

Also, Elizabeth Warren’s desire to be a redskin is just a more suburban version of the same sublimated cultural priority.

Thus, the week’s top three stories are all tied together with a big neat bow.

Zombie on May 4, 2012 at 2:17 AM

It’s definitely just a really dark bronzer lotion. The more popular ones would look more orange, but they make darker ones too.

My theory: she knew she was about to be interviewed and be on television so she decided she had to look her best. And in her warped mind that always involves getting the perfect tan. So she starts applying bronzing lotion and it’s one of those things where once you start you don’t stop until you realize you’ve gone way too far. I think she just never reached that point though, hence the leather skin.

thebombdiggity on May 4, 2012 at 3:53 AM

I’m sorry, but that woman just looks yucky. Does she think that looks attractive enough to drag her kid in with her? I’ve been known to admire the physical features of my own gender, but I wouldn’t get near her with a ten foot pole. A little color on a white woman is fine, but, ick.

My husband is lily white (Nordic ancestry)(I’m Paki/Irish, and make no use of tanning beds, don’t need to), and if he ever did anything to make himself look like a piece of broiled leather, he’d be sleeping on the couch for a while. My tolerance for stupid is minimal. I love him just the way he is, that is to say, glow in the dark…lol.

Blech on this broad.

sage0925 on May 4, 2012 at 4:48 AM

“Birth of a Nation”

Kungfoochimp on May 4, 2012 at 4:55 AM

quit harassing this poor woman…if tanning makes her happy, so be it!

BigSven on May 4, 2012 at 5:06 AM

…Tanning Mom is the missing girlfriend!

Zombie on May 4, 2012 at 1:39 AM

Also, Elizabeth Warren’s desire to be a redskin is just a more suburban version of the same sublimated cultural priority.

Thus, the week’s top three stories are all tied together with a big neat bow.

Zombie on May 4, 2012 at 2:17 AM

ROFL It’s all so clear now!

Quisp on May 4, 2012 at 6:34 AM

Maybe poor NJ mom is 1/32 Cherokee….

Qzsusy on May 4, 2012 at 6:51 AM

I’m more than happy to be jealous, fat and ugly if she is an example of the alternative.

Does she use white lipstick or does the darker she gets the lighter her lips get? Weird.

DuctTapeMyBrain on May 4, 2012 at 7:04 AM

Here is a picture of her with another one of her 5 kids at the beach. NightmareOnKStreet on May 4, 2012 at 1:36 AM

That link ruined my breakfast this morning. The women has a screw loose in my opinion ………… and, probably a real mental illness. What is certain is that she is destroyed her skin. She might as well have just found an oven and cooked herself.

SC.Charlie on May 4, 2012 at 7:23 AM

She has got some serious mental problems.

sadatoni on May 4, 2012 at 7:27 AM

Just don’t use her suggested brand of hair gel…

MNHawk on May 4, 2012 at 7:29 AM

Minwax really does get your wood, errr skin, a nice brown shade!

di butler on May 4, 2012 at 7:29 AM

She’s quite clearly nuts and the tanning is just a manifestation.

CorporatePiggy on May 4, 2012 at 7:39 AM

I hope they put her in solitary where she has no tanning bed and only hour of daylight for recreation each day.

blammm on May 4, 2012 at 7:46 AM

Allahpundit, you and others are piling on this woman in a cruel way. Does she really deserve this?

Her brown color from a couple days ago was OBVIOUSLY just bronzer, by the way. Haven’t any of you heard of temporary sunless tanning bronzers?

How would you guys like to have your pictures posted everywhere online to have people make fun?

bluegill on May 4, 2012 at 7:50 AM

Her husband wakes from nightmares

…and she’s still there!

:P

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on May 4, 2012 at 1:00 AM

You guys aren’t very nice. This woman is just a regular person who doesn’t deserve any of this. She says that she did NOT let her kid use the tanning bed. Maybe she’s telling the truth.

You guys are no better than the TMZ and Perez Hilton blog readers who constantly post comments trashing other people’s looks.

bluegill on May 4, 2012 at 7:55 AM

This woman could be the greatest most loving mom in the world.. she might be the kind of person who would drive across town in the middle of a snowstorm to help a sick stranger… but here we go ripping her life apart, following her around with cameras and threatening legal action because her kid got a sunburn. It’s all easy to justify because she “looks and acts weird.”

We need to go back and re-appreciate the concept of true privacy, liberty and that old saying “it’s really none of our business.”

JellyToast on May 3, 2012 at 10:53 PM

Thank goodness someone on here has some decency! I totally agree with you, JellyToast. What’s wrong with acting a little different or looking a little different? Nothing!

I’m disgusted that HotAir is contributing to what amounts to harassment of this poor woman. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel for site views. This lady is not a public figure. She is not some politician or celebrity who is using fame to push some agenda.

bluegill on May 4, 2012 at 8:02 AM

Yes, clearly the problem is with her critics, and not that the shade of her skin can’t even be found in a 64-box of Crayolas.

@bluegill – there are a lot of words I would use to describe someone who does that to their skin, but “regular” is not among them. And it’s not as though I myself am not an object of scorn and ridicule at points far and wide on the Internet. She’s just more fortunate than me, in that mockery of her has a chance of going viral.

The Schaef on May 4, 2012 at 8:02 AM

@bluegill – there are a lot of words I would use to describe someone who does that to their skin, but “regular” is not among them. And it’s not as though I myself am not an object of scorn and ridicule at points far and wide on the Internet. She’s just more fortunate than me, in that mockery of her has a chance of going viral.

The Schaef on May 4, 2012 at 8:02 AM

How is she fortunate to be mocked by people across the world? Do you wish that for yourself? By “regular” I mean not a public figure.

Because she goes tanning she is so irregular that she deserves all this? What is her crime here? As for the REALLY dark color the other day… it’s just like fitness or bodybuilding competitions where women and men put on those bronzers in order to look more defined. I bet that’s what she was wearing in that other video. Maybe the stuff looked good on her in her bathroom mirror? Who knows. And so what if she wants to look darker? Some people like coverings themselves with tattoos, some like hundreds of piercings, etc. Do they also deserve to be bashed on the internet for looking different than the norm?

I can see getting a chuckle out of her dark color in that other video (of course it looks silly), but I don’t like the viciousness directed at this woman. Maybe she’s a really nice person.

I say, good for her for hitting back at the mean-spirited bullies on the internet.

bluegill on May 4, 2012 at 8:13 AM

REALLY GETTING TIRED OF THE REDIRECT SURVEY GUYS

playblu on May 4, 2012 at 8:27 AM

She’s livin’ in Margaritaville…

PatriotRider on May 4, 2012 at 8:28 AM

Yes she really is weird, and apparently disturbed, and yes people here are at times extremely cruel and judgmental. Just remember, one day she was just living her life and minding her own business, and the next, her whole life was turned upside down by this crap.

There are some awesomely witty people on here, which is part of making HA thread comments so much fun to read, mostly when they are about Nancy,Debbie,Sandra,Elizabeth, Michelle….people who have choose to thrust themselves into the limelight as often as possible.

surrounded on May 4, 2012 at 8:34 AM

drunk!

Pragmatic on May 4, 2012 at 9:19 AM

What exactly were we looking at last night?

Al Jolson’s grand daughter?

CTSherman on May 4, 2012 at 9:33 AM

I’ve never understood tanning beds or tattoos. I am probably older than most posters on this board. As a teenager I never got into tanning back in the 1960s when I was a teenager, which was something of a subculture. I am ever so thankful.

SC.Charlie on May 4, 2012 at 9:38 AM

The word “ugly” coming from this woman, to describe anyone, and I mean anyone, else if laughable.

totherightofthem on May 4, 2012 at 9:50 AM

What’s sad is that she clearly has some problems, and if she ever does get herself straightened out, she will still have destroyed her skin and quite probably destined herself for skin cancer. The consequences of our unhealthiness can be far-reaching. I am sad for her.

DrMagnolias on May 4, 2012 at 10:10 AM

nothing says delicate exquisite flower and sophisticated lady like picking one’s skin tone from a paint swatch at home depot.

mittens on May 4, 2012 at 10:27 AM

What frightens me is that this woman had to pay a lawyer and go to court to defend herself from what now seems baseless accusations. If the school was worried for the child and reported them to CPS, wouldn’t they have gone and spoken to the father and looked at the children? The father sounded sane and his explanation of the child getting a slight sunburn, quite reasonable. It should have been dropped at that point.

Somehow they wind up in court and plastered all over the media. As funny as it might be to laugh at this odd woman, it should also make you worry about our eroding personal liberties.

Madisonian on May 4, 2012 at 10:32 AM

I have an old, unmaintained Rawlings baseball glove that looks in better shape than her face.

The Rogue Tomato on May 4, 2012 at 10:41 AM

Having had some experience in photography, I can tell you that lighting is everything. You can light a person in one situation that provides a radically different tonal value than would occur if the lights were a different type. Often lighting is so intense that it brings out variations in skin tone that are not otherwise visible. So, yeah, it could be that her skin appears different because of the equipment used and the make up prep.

The give away that she has abused herself is the condition of her skin. It is leathery and stiff from all the abuse and so she looks 20 years older than her true age. It will only get worse.

As to the business about her daughter, her own condition gives the law enforcement ample probable cause to watch her closely and act on allegations made by eye witnesses.

If she was fair skinned and white as debutante’s glove, then the situation would be different.

Cricket624 on May 4, 2012 at 10:56 AM

Some people like coverings themselves with tattoos, some like hundreds of piercings, etc. Do they also deserve to be bashed on the internet for looking different than the norm?

bluegill on May 4, 2012 at 8:13 AM

http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/

(some NSFW).

Sorry, we’ve already got that on the internet. Relatively popular.

Are you new to the internet?

gekkobear on May 4, 2012 at 11:48 AM

I thought she was auditioning for a role in a remake of Silver Streak, and was doing the scene where Richard Pryor helped Gene Wilder “camoflauge” himself.

reaganaut on May 4, 2012 at 12:15 PM

This woman definitely needs help! She needs a good head doctor. She looks like an Alen from outer space!

Jersey Dan on May 4, 2012 at 12:57 PM

Alison Jolson, I presume?

litebrite on May 4, 2012 at 12:57 PM

She’s sexy and she knows it.

TigerPaw on May 4, 2012 at 1:40 PM

bluegill on May 4, 2012 at 8:13 AM

You are the most tiresome busybody on the Internet.

Al in St. Lou on May 4, 2012 at 1:52 PM

Important message from “tanning mom”: My critics are jealous, fat, and ugly.

.
Some of her critics probably are “fat and ugly”.

Two out of three ain’t bad.

listens2glenn on May 4, 2012 at 4:37 PM

She’s really MA Dem Senate candidate Elizabeth warren adding color to her Cherokee Indian claim.

vilebody on May 4, 2012 at 4:48 PM

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