Video: The freaky quadruple deaky “tanning mom” clip

posted at 10:05 pm on May 2, 2012 by Allahpundit

Via Mediaite, I’ve been looking around all day for a palate cleanser. And now, at last, I’ve found it. Trust me: Whatever you have on your news palate right now, this’ll clean it right out. Doesn’t matter how important it is. America’s fiscal crisis, war with Iran, a looming North Korean nuclear test — not the barest trace of any of it will remain after you meet … The Bronze Lady.

This is sort of like cleansing your palate by eating a ghost chili. It works like a charm. But, oh boy.


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I like where the reporter says (paraphrasing):

“Do you think you might tan too much…?”

Her answer: “No, I don’t think so…”

Geez, what does she have to look like if she thinks she does too much?

This is one weird story.

SteveMG on May 2, 2012 at 10:32 PM

Gack! She makes that old lady from There’s Something About Mary look good!

thelarryd on May 2, 2012 at 10:32 PM

mitchellvii on May 2, 2012 at 10:25 PM

Melonoma is one of my fears-being Scots AND Jewish.
I’m keeping you in my thoughts!

annoyinglittletwerp on May 2, 2012 at 10:33 PM

Will tanning bed taxes be refunded when ObamaCare is declared unconstitutional?

VidOmnia on May 2, 2012 at 10:34 PM

She’s from Nutley NJ, which is where I work. You’d think I’d have seen her before!

I dont know if she did or didnt let the kid tan, but I feel bad for the little girl regardless. Mommy clearly fried more than just her own skin.

Dash on May 2, 2012 at 10:34 PM

Roasted Nuts!

Momma on May 2, 2012 at 10:34 PM

Um…

uh…

eewww…

hideous

creepy

That’s all I got. I’m gonna’ go try and erase that image from my brain.

She must have some blinding tan lines.

Curtiss on May 2, 2012 at 10:27 PM

I wondered that, then instantly regretted it.

If lorien would hit that…he’d hit a three day dead mule.

cozmo on May 2, 2012 at 10:34 PM

I sense an upcoming reality show – Pimp My Derma.

faraway on May 2, 2012 at 10:34 PM

She looks darker than Al Jolson in the Jazz Singer, jesus h. crow.

libfreeordie on May 2, 2012 at 10:35 PM

I feel sorry for that little girl…

d1carter on May 2, 2012 at 10:35 PM

You can bet she would never dream of having an anal ring bleaching.

BL@KBIRD on May 2, 2012 at 10:36 PM

And to think folks mocked George Hamilton over his tan back in the day.

Is this freak of nature drinking Coppertone® by the gallon?

coldwarrior on May 2, 2012 at 10:13 PM

How does that even make sense? If she were albino that snark would work, but with pigment of that color … not so much.

preallocated on May 2, 2012 at 10:36 PM

If you like your tanning bed, you can keep your tanning bed.

Curtiss on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Is this woman… racist?

Ok seriously, though, don’t tanning beds shine light out of the side? That might be how the girl got a sunburn. The mom admitted taking her in the room while she tans.

bitsy on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

So…does this make her Black-Caucasian, or a African-American White?

I mean, she’s as black as Obama…err, wait…

BlaxPac on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Now I know..:)

Dire Straits on May 2, 2012 at 10:29 PM

Cheers!

John the Libertarian on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Does this make her 1/32 African-American?

catmman on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

“… my people.

Oh, wait…!” - Eric Holder

/

Seven Percent Solution on May 2, 2012 at 10:38 PM

…I wonder if she knows Callista Gingrich?

KOOLAID2 on May 2, 2012 at 10:38 PM

A Mom so hot – She should change her name to The Sizzler… Ow!

wubu on May 2, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Typical what woman.

profitsbeard on May 2, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Al Jolson lives!

Not to belabor the obvious, but she’s from…

“Nut” lee, New Jersey

ironbill on May 2, 2012 at 10:40 PM

Cheers!

John the Libertarian on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Hello..:)

Dire Straits on May 2, 2012 at 10:40 PM

How is she still married?

Blu3Yeti on May 2, 2012 at 10:40 PM

Crypt Keeper with a tan…a dark one

abnormal_1 on May 2, 2012 at 10:41 PM

annoyinglittletwerp on May 2, 2012 at 10:24 PM
Super dosing with spray tan perhaps? I mean the woman looks stained, like a wooden board.

Bishop on May 2, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Scam. Don’t know why, exactly, but that’s nothing more than blackface makeup.

Look at the actual skin color in the mugshot. For that matter, why does that picture have a date stamp of 18/10/2012 and no other identification? Crazy woman alert…

bofh on May 2, 2012 at 10:32 PM

I think you both are right…that’s paint, not her real skin.

At least I hope so…..

Dreadnought on May 2, 2012 at 10:42 PM

The daughter must know all the lyrics to “Mammy“.

profitsbeard on May 2, 2012 at 10:45 PM

Help me out here..But Does She have high cheekbones like Elizabeth Warren??!!??..:)

Dire Straits on May 2, 2012 at 10:51 PM

Why didnt somebody tell me that Charlie Crist had a sex change operation?

Valkyriepundit on May 2, 2012 at 10:51 PM

Wow. What a woman. Crispy on the outside, screwy beyond all recognition on the inside.

DuctTapeMyBrain on May 2, 2012 at 10:51 PM

Stick a fork in her;…

—————/Captain Obvious

hillbillyjim on May 2, 2012 at 10:52 PM

The “Portraits: 9/11/01″ book behind her is a nice touch.

RedRedRice on May 2, 2012 at 10:52 PM

freak show.

ted c on May 2, 2012 at 10:53 PM

Comparatively speaking, she does look like pale face in her mug shot (the weirdest thing there is her purple lip line). Maybe she’s been banned from tanning beds (or has been ordered by her lawyer to stay away from them) and to satisfy her addiction has been taking some sort of tanning pills in addition to fake tanning products to pump up the tan volume?

Buy Danish on May 2, 2012 at 10:54 PM

I didn’t even know this was possible… you can sit out in the sun all day every day for your whole life and not get that tanned. Wow.

Karmashock on May 2, 2012 at 10:56 PM

I get a tan just from all the walking that I do. No machines needed.

annoyinglittletwerp on May 2, 2012 at 10:29 PM

+1

22044 on May 2, 2012 at 11:03 PM

I wonder if she’s an Obama supporter? Mmmm….

RedbonePro on May 2, 2012 at 11:10 PM

White woman with fair skin and blue eyes walk into Home Depot and buys some Behr “mahogany” paint.

Bathes in it.

Calls local dimwit news station.

HA palate cleanser.

CorporatePiggy on May 2, 2012 at 11:11 PM

This was my advice for George Zimmerman. He should have done what this crazy woman did.

It is what I would have done before turning myself in.
because if Melanin is all his detractors cared about I would have given it to them to where they could not criticize.

-Wasteland Man.

WastelandMan on May 2, 2012 at 11:12 PM

I thought this was going to be a spoof. Then I watched it. That was pathetic.

CharlieCA on May 2, 2012 at 11:22 PM

What was that about being too ugly for TV?

The Rogue Tomato on May 2, 2012 at 11:27 PM

Who knew she worked for Church’s Chicken?

CorporatePiggy on May 2, 2012 at 11:27 PM

Put the shoe polish down and step away.

tommer74 on May 2, 2012 at 11:33 PM

Now I really believe you can become addicted to ANYTHING. Some people get addicted to gambling, some to dangerous thrills. Some to sex or even pain.

She likes to set the bed to 9.5 and Sizzle!!

Bulletchaser on May 2, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Who knew she worked for Church’s Chicken?

CorporatePiggy on May 2, 2012 at 11:27 PM

I do like me some fried chicken. Sadly Minneapolis has been defunct of good fried chicken since Mid-Town Chicken Shack disappeared….

Rooster’s in St Paul is pretty good.

abnormal_1 on May 2, 2012 at 11:43 PM

There is a lot of strange in this world.

blatantblue on May 2, 2012 at 11:45 PM

I’m confused I saw 2 clips of the mother in question. was it my computer or was mom by tonal qualities 2 different shades of tan? Toasted or Burnt?

Zanne on May 2, 2012 at 11:46 PM

“She’s just too tan.” George Costanza

Smedley on May 2, 2012 at 11:50 PM

Definitely an Obama supporter. With that new tanning tax she should pay off the deficit in no time.

Smedley on May 2, 2012 at 11:51 PM

Her photo reminds me of that weird, too-tanned body builder photo I saw on the web a few years ago (the guy on the right):
Body builder

Original photo, too tanned body builder

She also looks like a browner version of a Willy Wonka Oopma Loompa.

TigerPaw on May 2, 2012 at 11:53 PM

AAHHHH!

AAAAAHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

*reaches into scotch drawer, pours drink, consumes, looks back at screen and sees it still real and looks like that*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

alchemist19 on May 2, 2012 at 11:55 PM

Does she have tan lines?

arnold ziffel on May 2, 2012 at 11:55 PM

21st century blackface. And every bit as creepy.

rogaineguy on May 3, 2012 at 12:02 AM

In America, this. In Africa & India, skin-whiteners.

LADIES, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!

You just need to lose a bit of weight, that’s all.

Tzetzes on May 3, 2012 at 12:05 AM

She reminds me of the tanned out grandmother in Something about Mary

SauerKraut537 on May 3, 2012 at 12:05 AM

Let me Abos go loose, Lou.

km on May 3, 2012 at 12:24 AM

That’s not spray tan, that’s deck stain.

NightmareOnKStreet on May 3, 2012 at 12:29 AM

I put a chicken in the smoker for four hours today. It didn’t come out that dark. I wonder what kind of dry rub she uses?

JerseyJeff on May 3, 2012 at 12:34 AM

She seems sort of…I don’t know…..crispy.

Cleombrotus on May 3, 2012 at 12:39 AM

America’s fiscal crisis, war with Iran, a looming North Korean nuclear test — not the barest trace of any of it will remain after you meet … The Bronze Lady.

What? The woman is a walking warning of what could happen to us all if North Korea throws a nuke that works at the US.

lexhamfox on May 3, 2012 at 12:40 AM

Attack of the bog lady.

But I doubt she popped her young one into a tanning bed.

Not guilty.

Sherman1864 on May 3, 2012 at 12:44 AM

A fine Corinthian leather.

profitsbeard on May 3, 2012 at 12:46 AM

That lady is disgusting.

TX-96 on May 3, 2012 at 12:52 AM

Unless she owns the tanning bed herself this is a hoax.

I’m suspicious too. Her police photo didn’t have the extreme tanning. And the fact that there’s a 9/11-related book (or something) prominently in frame with her makes me wonder if this is a grab for attention.

calbear on May 3, 2012 at 12:55 AM

I’ve been looking around all day for a palate cleanser. And now, at last, I’ve found it.

Thank you, Captain Obvious, I mean AP.

RMCS_USN on May 3, 2012 at 1:01 AM

No way that’s real. I call hoax.

cane_loader on May 3, 2012 at 1:10 AM

Iowahawk: “Good lord, that’s not a tan – it’s a human creme brulee”

pt on May 3, 2012 at 1:13 AM

Whiskey… Tango… Foxtrot…

Wolftech on May 3, 2012 at 1:18 AM

Funny thing is, she’s actually more authentically “black” than O-Jugears…

glcinpdx on May 3, 2012 at 1:27 AM

lol she’s from a town called Nutley. You can’t make this stuff up.

fullogas on May 3, 2012 at 1:41 AM

Everything is better with bacon…

:)

Seven Percent Solution on May 3, 2012 at 1:50 AM

Lady of Spain, I adore you!

Shy Guy on May 3, 2012 at 1:53 AM

A fine Corinthian leather.

profitsbeard on May 3, 2012 at 12:46 AM

“The Small Chrysler”?!?!?!?!?!

You can fit at least 10 tanning beds in that thing!

Shy Guy on May 3, 2012 at 1:56 AM

Elizabeth Warren(D) does look a little bit Native American in this pic

DANEgerus on May 3, 2012 at 2:02 AM

I didn’t know the Al Jolson look was in this year.

SoulGlo on May 3, 2012 at 2:06 AM

Is that Elizabeth Warren without her make-up?

flicker on May 3, 2012 at 2:10 AM

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

WeekendAtBernankes on May 3, 2012 at 2:21 AM

Trust me: Whatever you have on your news palate right now, this’ll clean it right out.

LOLOLOL…no lie.

Django on May 3, 2012 at 2:25 AM

Does she have tan lines?

arnold ziffel on May 2, 2012 at 11:55 PM

More like tan escarpments.

Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on May 3, 2012 at 3:07 AM

it that what you call a white-tanny or an enthousiastic Obama voter?

huntingmoose on May 3, 2012 at 3:26 AM

In all seriousness, this looks more like a case of filtering the video to darken her tan. It is not that hard to filter video to change a single hue. All other pics I have found of this woman shows a much less freaky complexion. Still over-tanned, but not this freakish.

Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on May 3, 2012 at 3:27 AM

What has been seen cannot be unseen.
WeekendAtBernankes on May 3, 2012 at 2:21 AM

I’ll remember the Seinfeld version; that was funny.

Since the tanning beds appeared, they’ve creeped me out. They look like electronic coffins where people go to irradiate themselves.

Feedie on May 3, 2012 at 3:28 AM

She actually looks like one of those Japanese Ganguro girls, if anybody here has been to Japan you’ll no doubt have seen them.

Omega_Rage on May 3, 2012 at 4:15 AM

Since the tanning beds appeared, they’ve creeped me out. They look like electronic coffins where people go to irradiate themselves.

Feedie on May 3, 2012 at 3:28 AM

..remember the glowing people in Repo Man?

Seriously, I stumbled through this thread believing that the subject was too revolting to entertain funny comments. Boy was I wrong. This post surely sets the record for thread-ending quotes. There’s some really, really funny stuff here!

..but the poor women is just like all of those young ladies who tattoo themselves ALL OVER THEIR BODIES — they have no concept of growing old gracefully. Of course, 3-to-5 she’s gone inside of a decade from skin cancer.

Then she can donate her skin to Rawlings so they can make catchers’ mitts out of it.

The War Planner on May 3, 2012 at 5:04 AM

Does this make her 1/32 African-American?

catmman on May 2, 2012 at 10:37 PM

I am surprised the noodles in the media did not ask that .. or if she is in the local minstrel (sp?) show !

cableguy615 on May 3, 2012 at 6:12 AM

Michael Jackson … in reverse!

cableguy615 on May 3, 2012 at 6:13 AM

She’s obviously white-hispanic and should be charged in the Trayvon Martin case.

Stepan on May 3, 2012 at 6:14 AM

I envision her daughter, then a teenager, standing by her mother’s grave asking her mother’s ghost if it was worth it. God gives us free will but He expects us to use it wisely.

swinia sutki on May 3, 2012 at 6:15 AM

Racist.

(I can’t believe nobody has used it yet)

moo on May 3, 2012 at 6:18 AM

Say, lady, couldya actually get the lyrics right and stop going on about being ‘Dessicated to the ones I love’?

ajacksonian on May 3, 2012 at 6:28 AM

I envision her daughter, then a teenager, standing by her mother’s grave asking her mother’s ghost if it was worth it. God gives us free will but He expects us to use it wisely.

swinia sutki on May 3, 2012 at 6:15 AM

This.

Well said.

cheers

eon

eon on May 3, 2012 at 6:41 AM

She must have some blinding tan lines.

Curtiss on May 2, 2012 at 10:27 PM

Thanks for the early morning laugh.

I saw this and am just beyond horrified. She doesn’t look remotely attractive. She looks like a freakin’ leather jacket.

As someone who’s very fair haired and fair skinned, with a dad who was diagnosed with early-stage skin cancer last year, I wouldn’t do that and SPF 50 is my best friend.

I’m not one to always attribute odd/bad/illegal behavior to mental issues, but clearly there’s something wrong upstairs. This woman isn’t firing on all cylinders.

englishqueen01 on May 3, 2012 at 6:55 AM

Talk about extra crispy!! Yikes!!

Bitter Clinger on May 3, 2012 at 6:57 AM

The woman is mentally ill.

SC.Charlie on May 3, 2012 at 7:06 AM

Yup.

Jaibones on May 3, 2012 at 7:09 AM

The issue with the daughter aside – Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!

rickv404 on May 3, 2012 at 7:12 AM

She looks totally different in this than in the other pictures I have seen on the news. Maybe she painted herself before the interview or maybe someone has been enhancing her complexion, but she is a totally different color than the photo they display.

bopbottle on May 3, 2012 at 7:27 AM

One word: melanoma…

Static21 on May 3, 2012 at 7:34 AM

Comment pages: 1 2 3