It’s 4.2 percent ABV, guys. You might as well save the money and just spin around for five seconds. You’ll get the same buzz.

It’s rated 47 on Beer Advocate, for cripes sake. Who are you people? I don’t even know you anymore.

That’s from the Atlantic’s irresistible piece on electoral microtargeting, which is irresistible mainly for the dozen or so “Democrats vs. Republicans” graphics it provides charting cultural preferences by party. I reproduced the one for beer above but there’s plenty more where that came from — sports, TV shows, Internet use, even automobiles. (If you’re not sure what to make of the high turnout/low turnout metrics, consider them a rough proxy for older voters versus younger voters.) Follow the link and start sifting through them. Some are predictable — there’s a strong GOP skew towards Cracker Barrel, Fox News, and Hummer SUVs and a strong Democratic skew towards the WNBA, MSNBC, and hybrids — but some are less so. Apparently, there’s a 20-point or so Republican spread towards, er, Hooters. So much for “values.” Or should we just pin that one on the libertarians?

I don’t want to spoil any other surprises but I will say that the skew on 7-Up is so dramatically Democratic that I’m thinking it might be the first communist soda. Exit question: How can it be that one of the strongest skews towards Republicans on cars is … Government Motors? Good lord. Never have I been prouder to be a RINO.