Romney’s secret campaign weapon: Time travel

posted at 6:25 pm on April 2, 2012 by Allahpundit

To cleanse the palate, something tart from the Onion. Don’t think of it as altering the trajectory of time and space. Think of it as a multidimensional Etch-a-Sketch.

I’m giving you this clip plus the vid of Mitt getting pranked yesterday for April Fool’s in lieu of a post devoted to that dumb story about Ann Romney saying — oh, just go read it. Yeah, yeah, her choice of words was unfortunate, but that’s just another reason to like her: So Waltons-y are the Romneys that the double entendre was no doubt lost on her. It takes Beavises and Buttheads like you, me, and the media to mine the comedy gold inadvertently hidden therein. Besides, why should anyone on our side goof on Ann? She’s our secret weapon:

As Romney closes in on his party’s nomination, Obama campaign officials and strategists view Ann Romney as a wild card in the fall campaign — a skilled and articulate advocate whose full power has yet to be unleashed. If she’s armed with a passionate vision for a Romney White House, the opposition believes she could emerge as a compelling surrogate for her husband around the country…

Mitt Romney’s stilted personality, coupled with voter skepticism about his core beliefs, has proved to be a serious liability. Polls have shown that the more people get to know the former Massachusetts governor, the less they like him — the opposite dynamic of President Barack Obama. Even when Obama’s job approval numbers decline, people still say they like him personally.

Ann Romney, in contrast, exudes empathy and authenticity and offers a window into her husband’s character. Just as urgently, Republicans say that she’s a living testament to skeptical conservatives that Mitt Romney is one of them.

“She’s terribly important in that she is actually Mitt’s connection to the base,” said GOP strategist Alex Castellanos, who worked on Romney’s 2008 presidential effort. “His link to the base doesn’t come from ideology. It comes from family values channeled through Ann. She’s the authentic core of Romney’s conservative principles.”

Is that really why Ann is important, because she’s the “core of Romney’s conservative principles?” I think she’s useful to the campaign chiefly in the way she humanizes him. She seems warm and totally authentic. Whenever he starts to sound too much like the “Mittbot” caricature, programmed to tell you anything you need to hear to vote for him, you can come back to their affection for each other as proof that the “Mittbot” thing really must be a caricature after all. I think.

Speaking of dramatic technological solutions to campaign problems: Dude.


Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself


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Comments

Everybody’s been assimilated!

Both clips were just funny.

Only a matter of time…resistance is futile.

cozmo on April 2, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Perry/West 2012

America cannot afford another wimp in the White House!

DUMP MITT NOW!

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM

Forget this article. Go read the Ann Romney Series of Unfortunate Comments.

princetrumpet on April 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM

Is that really why Ann is important, because she’s the “core of Romney’s conservative principles?”

I guess she became that core sometime AFTER she last donated to Planned Parenthood.

Laura Curtis on April 2, 2012 at 6:38 PM

Anyone but 0bama.

Anyone.

SD Tom on April 2, 2012 at 6:39 PM

The Joke in Mitt was pretty funny. Completely staged, but funny.

portlandon on April 2, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Only a matter of time…resistance is futile.

cozmo on April 2, 2012 at 6:32 PM

I even have a hankerin’ for a grilled cheese sandwich. American cheese.

It’s looking more likely he won’t drop out three days after I send him a check like last time.

DanMan on April 2, 2012 at 6:40 PM

I try to channel my inner Butthead at least once a day.

John the Libertarian on April 2, 2012 at 6:42 PM

Whenever he starts to sound too much like the “Mittbot” caricature, programmed to tell you anything you need to hear to vote for him, you can come back to their affection for each other as proof that the “Mittbot” thing really must be a caricature after all. I think.

Oh cripes. I just got the Mittbot and Humpbot images momentarily crossed in my brain…and I just threw up a little in my mouth. Release the humpbot Unzip the Mittbot? Oy.

dont taze me bro on April 2, 2012 at 6:47 PM

in lieu of a post devoted to that dumb story about Ann Romney saying — oh, just go read it.

AP, you are showing remarkable restraint in not posting about that.

rbj on April 2, 2012 at 6:48 PM

And we will see a CGI video of Obama pointing a gun at his own head in 3…2…TRAYVON!!!!

profitsbeard on April 2, 2012 at 6:48 PM

Everyone, raise your glasses.

Dead Hand Control on April 2, 2012 at 6:50 PM

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM

Voting for imaginary candidate pairings are we?!? How about SMOD/Kepler 22 B – I mean, at least they’re in the realm of possibilities!

The Nerve on April 2, 2012 at 6:52 PM

I wouldn’t mind seeing the Romney sons unzipped!

DBear on April 2, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Anyone but 0bama or Romney. [CORRECTED]

Anyone.

SD Tom on April 2, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Why yes, I’ll vote for etch A. sketch because of Ann. Is this what we’ve been are reduced to?

HerneTheHunter on April 2, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM
Voting for imaginary candidate pairings are we?!? How about SMOD/Kepler 22 B – I mean, at least they’re in the realm of possibilities!

The Nerve on April 2, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Is’t better than voting for wimps (Obama or Romney).

Perry/West 2012

America doesn’t need another wimp in the White House.

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:55 PM

Ugh,I’ve been to Onions website,still can’t view it,
F $%%^&*(&^%$^&*^%^&*(&^%$^&*(!!!

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 6:57 PM

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 6:57 PM

I couldn’t view it in Firefox, but it worked in Chrome.

Dead Hand Control on April 2, 2012 at 6:59 PM

O/T,..AllahPundit,another one bites the dust!!
===============================================

Developer behind solar projects east of Coachella Valley files for bankruptcy
**********

Oakland’s Solar Trust of America holds rights for Blythe and Palen solar projects
April 2 2012-3:05PM
********************

Solar Trust of America, the Oakland-based solar developer behind two stalled large-scale solar projects east of the Coachella Valley, filed for bankruptcy today in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Delaware.

The company still holds the development rights to the 1,000-megawatt Blythe solar project and 50-megawatt Palen project, both of which have been on hold due to the company’s ongoing financial problems.

The bankruptcy filing comes four months after the firm’s German parent company, Solar Millennium, filed for bankruptcy in Germany.

A sale of the Blythe and Palen projects, and a 70 percent interest in Solar Trust fell through after the prospective buyer, solarhybrid, another German solar firm, also filed for bankruptcy.

Representatives for neither of the companies were immediately available for comment.
=======================

http://www.mydesert.com/article/20120402/BUSINESS/120402011/Developer-behind-solar-projects-east-Coachella-Valley-files-bankruptcy?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|Frontpage

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 7:00 PM

Romney’s secret campaign weapon: Time travel

I dunno, I always thought Democrats would be more likely to stuff the ballot boxes in order to get to 1.21 gigavotes.

malclave on April 2, 2012 at 7:02 PM

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 6:57 PM
I couldn’t view it in Firefox, but it worked in Chrome.

Dead Hand Control on April 2, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Dead Hand Control:

Crap,good point,I have FireFox,I’ll give it a whirl,since it
ain’t work’n on Windows thingy!:)

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 7:03 PM

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:55 PM

Me too. I’m not voting for Romney because of the way he snapped at the moderator at that one recent debate’s final question*. Yes, the only thing that will make me vote for Romney is if he had a time machine, now…

* KING: Is there a misconception about you? The question is a misconception.

ROMNEY: You know, you get to ask the questions want, I get to give the answers I want. Fair enough?

The Nerve on April 2, 2012 at 7:04 PM

I think the folks at Onion do LSD.

Bmore on April 2, 2012 at 7:06 PM

I think the folks around Rmoney are LDS.

Bmore on April 2, 2012 at 7:07 PM

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 6:57 PM
I couldn’t view it in Firefox, but it worked in Chrome.

Dead Hand Control on April 2, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Dead Hand Control:Brilliant,FireFox works!:)

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 7:07 PM

Why yes, I’ll vote for etch A. sketch because of Ann. Is this what we’ve been are reduced to?

HerneTheHunter on April 2, 2012 at 6:53 PM

you got the female vote locked up now! no one can relate to today’s young, diverse, single, independent women like a super rich mormon in her 60′s driving 2 cadillacs

DBear on April 2, 2012 at 7:07 PM

Bmore on April 2, 2012 at 7:06 PM

Um, bud, hate to tell you this but, you’re the last guy in the world to figure that out. Except for Ken, and he don’t count.

cozmo on April 2, 2012 at 7:08 PM

“InConsistencies”…..Lol!

Flippy der Floppy!!

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 7:10 PM

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 6:55 PM

We know. We know. You found the panic button. Good luck with that Perry/West thing.

MJBrutus on April 2, 2012 at 7:13 PM

It’s looking more likely he won’t drop out three days after I send him a check like last time.

DanMan on April 2, 2012 at 6:40 PM

Same thing happened with me last election when I sent $500 to Fred Thompson. I wanted him as our candidate but he just never got off the ground after jumping in too late… I was so effin mad!

SauerKraut537 on April 2, 2012 at 7:14 PM

O/T,Shooter Identified!
————————

Oikos University shooting suspect identified as student One Goh – @KTVUStory
**********

Submitted 45 secs ago from http://www.ktvu.com
http://www.breakingnews.com/
=============================

http://www.ktvu.com/news/news/crime-law/one-dead-several-wounded-oakland-university-classr/nMHdf/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

canopfor on April 2, 2012 at 7:15 PM

Me too. I’m not voting for Romney because of the way he snapped at the moderator at that one recent debate’s final question*. Yes, the only thing that will make me vote for Romney is if he had a time machine, now…

* KING: Is there a misconception about you? The question is a misconception.

ROMNEY: You know, you get to ask the questions want, I get to give the answers I want. Fair enough?

The Nerve on April 2, 2012 at 7:04 PM

The questioner was asking a question wasn’t he, and then when Romney started the give an answer the guy cut him off and tried to put words into his mouth, right…? So Romney got testy with him and “put him in his place” so he could give his answer.

It was obvious the guy was trying to corner him, so ala Gingrich he went after him a little.

Big deal.

SauerKraut537 on April 2, 2012 at 7:21 PM

It was kinda funny, even Romney looked like he “got it” as far as “Okay good one”.

Can you imagine anyone trying to do the same with Obama..or even having that kind of humor he could honestly enjoy?

BlaxPac on April 2, 2012 at 7:24 PM

Suddenly I have this wicked urge to drink some chocolate milk.

PerceptorII on April 2, 2012 at 7:26 PM

Could he use that time-travel stuff to prevent Woodrow Wilson, FDR, LBJ, Carter and Obama all from ever having become President?

Myron Falwell on April 2, 2012 at 7:38 PM

Romney. . .what a wimp! YUCK and ICK!

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 7:39 PM

Pragmatic on April 2, 2012 at 7:39 PM

Compared to the Mom Jean Kid, Romney is the second coming of John Wayne.

BlaxPac on April 2, 2012 at 7:46 PM

Don’t think of it as altering the trajectory of time and space. Think of it as a multidimensional Etch-a-Sketch.

Allah, what are you smoking?

Whenever he starts to sound too much like the “Mittbot” caricature, programmed to tell you anything you need to hear to vote for him, you can come back to their affection for each other as proof that the “Mittbot” thing really must be a caricature after all. I think.

I get it, you’ve been listening to Mittbot’s speeches. They’re frying your brain. Your synapses are trying to make connections that can’t exist, except as a multidimensional Etch-a-Sketch in an alternative reality where Romney has a beard.

As other commentators have pointed out, Romney’s positions both exist and don’t exist (it’s Quantum Physics). The act of asking Romney a question forces Romney to answer. However, you can never tell if Romney will give you the same answer twice. It’s all probabilistic in the end, see this link.

Gladtobehere on April 2, 2012 at 7:48 PM

Dr. Emmett Brown: Then tell me, “Future Boy”, who’s President in the United States in 2013?
Marty McFly: Mitt Romney.
Dr. Emmett Brown: Mitt Romney? The vulture capitalist from Bain? [chuckles in disbelief]
Dr. Emmett Brown: Then who’s VICE-President? Gordon Gekko? [rushing out and down a hill toward his laboratory]
Dr. Emmett Brown: I suppose Ann Romney is one of the First Ladies!
Marty McFly: [following Doc] Whoa! Wait! Doc!
Dr. Emmett Brown: And Ron Paul is Secretary of the Treasury!

Emperor Norton on April 2, 2012 at 7:54 PM

Willard is a chump and a national joke.

HondaV65 on April 2, 2012 at 8:28 PM

You have 4 choices.

1.vote for Romney
2. vote for Obama
3.Don’t vote
4. Move to Argentina

gerrym51 on April 2, 2012 at 9:38 PM

Could be worse… I had Zack De La Rocha winning the 2032 election. :P

TMOverbeck on April 2, 2012 at 10:08 PM

I wonder if all the Mittwits will keep a stiff upper lip after Willard fails to get elected.

OkieDoc on April 2, 2012 at 10:19 PM

A multidimensional Etch-a-Sketc? LMAO!

Republican Consevative Sketchy: the joke that keeps getting sillier.

DannoJyd on April 3, 2012 at 3:23 AM

We are so screwed, people, if we end up with this as the nominee. I mean, if we’re reaching this bad already how the heck are we supposed to drag this dead weight over the finish line?! There’s still time to stop this insanity.

mozalf on April 3, 2012 at 7:58 AM

You have 4 choices.

1. vote for Romney
2. vote for Obama
3. Don’t vote
4. Move to Argentina

gerrym51 on April 2, 2012 at 9:38 PM

Tango and asado, here I come!

Crusty on April 3, 2012 at 10:50 AM