Bad news: The one cool thing about the “Star Wars” prequels wasn’t very cool

posted at 7:47 pm on March 23, 2012 by Allahpundit

Serious question: Is this a bona fide critique of Lucas or a sly parody of the lengths to which “Star Wars” nerds will go to find fault with him? My memory of that film, which I’ll never, ever see again, is that the fight scene at the end was reasonably exciting and frenetic. I wasn’t paying attention to whether Ewan McGregor was actually a few inches outside of Darth Maul’s reach; I didn’t think I was supposed to. The point, I thought, was to gape at these whirling dervishes jumping around and swinging at each other, hopefully at a brisk enough pace that there’s no time to get caught up in the niceties of where everyone’s lightsaber is at any given moment. But maybe my memory’s been colored by the fact that this really was the only fun part of the whole flick. When you’ve spent hours wandering through a desert and you finally stumble upon an oasis, you don’t pause to worry about how tasty the water is. Shoot, this didn’t even make it into the epic Harry Plinkett takedowns of the prequels. (Or did it? Can’t recall.)

Maybe this is actually an indictment of Lucas for being cheap? You’d think a guy with his own license to print money might go out and hire a director from Hong Kong to make the fight scenes genuinely stupendous. Could be he blew the whole budget on computer F/X instead. Good call, George.


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Having never seen any of these. Is this the first one or the last one?

Bmore on March 23, 2012 at 7:49 PM

Han shot first!

Flange on March 23, 2012 at 7:50 PM

C’mon, AP! Space fantasies are supposed to be real! Wait…what?

predator on March 23, 2012 at 7:53 PM

How was is fair or noble for two against one?

Two Jedis ganging up on one opponent?

Right there they lost me.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 7:53 PM

“It’s a TRAP…!”

Seven Percent Solution on March 23, 2012 at 7:56 PM

Force enhanced kick!
/whatever

Count to 10 on March 23, 2012 at 7:57 PM

The SNL William Shatner retort covers this nicely:

Get.
A.
Life.

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on March 23, 2012 at 7:57 PM

The light saber is a stupid concept anyways.
You’ve got to be right next to your victim for it to do any good.
Gimme a good 29th century laser phaser gun.
Or something.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 7:58 PM

Is this the one with Jar Jar Biden Binks in it? If so, I won’t even click on the YouTube.

TXUS on March 23, 2012 at 7:58 PM

Having never seen any of these. Is this the first one or the last one?

Bmore on March 23, 2012 at 7:49 PM

Was actually the fourth one, but is the first of the prequels.

msupertas on March 23, 2012 at 7:59 PM

I do remember when I watched the first movie in the theater that the lightsaber duel with the bad guy was odd. Two on one and there were all these openings where a competent combatant could have gotten a blade in. But nothing.

The bad guy also wasn’t that evil. I mean, he looks evil… but did he stab anyone in the back? Why would a sith come out for a stand up fight? Screw that.

Come on, if you were the evil sith what would you do? Waste your time screwing with these Jedi or just do your dirty work from the shadows.

The whole sith versus Jedi rivalry is basically Ninja versus Samurai. The sith are supposed to be sneaky, without honor, evil, and nasty. The Jedi are supposed to be upfront, honorable, good, and nice.

So why would the sneaky one challenge the other guys to an open Two versus One battle? I’d think he’d be sooner to emerge out of the shadows, cut Quigone’s throat, and then vanish back into the darkness with a big smile on his face.

Karmashock on March 23, 2012 at 7:59 PM

C’mon, AP! Space fantasies are supposed to be real! Wait…what?

predator on March 23, 2012 at 7:53 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Cinema wise my most crushing defeat. Ah well ill always have the org series to enjoy. And Star Tours. :)

zerotonin on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Meh. It doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I’ve moved on to more reality-based movies–like “Underworld.” :D

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Fake fight scenes are fake.

lorien1973 on March 23, 2012 at 8:01 PM

How was is fair or noble for two against one?

Two Jedis ganging up on one opponent?

Right there they lost me.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 7:53 PM

Yea, but…but…darth has a double light saber.

msupertas on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

And using a “clone army” in part 2, as if human beings can be genetically engineered for anyone’s purposes without any ethical consequences.

The Jedis became as bad as their enemies by this spiritual bankruptcy.

They deserved to fall.

And Lucas proved himself to be a moral imbecile.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Of the billion things wrong with that film this is the billionth.

neoavatara on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Plinkett did touch on this in passing, referring to the fact that the fighting looks like, well, a couple of actors doing a choreographed dance. Which pretty much sums it up.

Actually, even under the giddy glamour of watching the movie on the first weekend at age 15, even while actually watching it and long before fridge logic, that “duel” struck a discordant note. The evil bad guy is nothing but an extra, the characters are clearly dancing in rhythm with no chance of hitting each other until the story calls for it, and the surroundings are without explanation or meaning.

HitNRun on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Is this a bona fide critique of Lucas or a sly parody of the lengths to which “Star Wars” nerds will go to find fault with him?

I’d hope the nerds will go at lengths to find fault with their Nerd Leaders, if not with themselves. It’s an unintentional self-parody wrapped in a another parody. Good for some mocking giggles, at least!

whatcat on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Well, if you want to get technical the idea of a light sabre having an “end” to it is pretty retarded to begin with.

bernverdnardo1 on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Saw the second one on DVD, turned it off mid way through. Didn’t bother with the third.

rbj on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Mesa not tinking of dat!

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

How was is fair or noble for two against one?

Jedis are the liberals of space, so it makes perfect sense. Remember the intended insult that “only Siths believe in absolutes.” That’s all you need to know about Jedi, Siths and the odd politics of Star Wars. Jedis aren’t noble unless you swallow whole Geroge Lucas’ perverse worldview.

King B on March 23, 2012 at 8:04 PM

I do remember when I watched the first movie in the theater that the lightsaber duel with the bad guy was odd. Two on one and there were all these openings where a competent combatant could have gotten a blade in. But nothing.

The bad guy also wasn’t that evil. I mean, he looks evil… but did he stab anyone in the back? Why would a sith come out for a stand up fight? Screw that.

Come on, if you were the evil sith what would you do? Waste your time screwing with these Jedi or just do your dirty work from the shadows.

The whole sith versus Jedi rivalry is basically Ninja versus Samurai. The sith are supposed to be sneaky, without honor, evil, and nasty. The Jedi are supposed to be upfront, honorable, good, and nice.

So why would the sneaky one challenge the other guys to an open Two versus One battle? I’d think he’d be sooner to emerge out of the shadows, cut Quigone’s throat, and then vanish back into the darkness with a big smile on his face.

Karmashock on March 23, 2012 at 7:59 PM

Uh, a little too much time on your hands, just maybe?

msupertas on March 23, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Well, if you want to get technical the idea of a light sabre having an “end” to it is pretty retarded to begin with.

bernverdnardo1 on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

The Sabre contains the firmware ObamaPromise 1.0

So..yes….it does have an end.

Electrongod on March 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM

Screw Star Wars.

SCREW IT.

blatantblue on March 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM

“only Siths believe in absolutes.”

Which is laid to rest when Yoda says, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM

Even not taking this into account, the fight scene felt so stiff and choreographed that it cannot be watched a second time without extreme distaste.

Ukiah on March 23, 2012 at 8:07 PM

he was wearing a hoodie and got what he deserved.

jb34461 on March 23, 2012 at 8:07 PM

Well, if you want to get technical the idea of a light sabre having an “end” to it is pretty retarded to begin with.

bernverdnardo1 on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

They use a focused micro-gravitational field to restrict the length of the rays, simulating a mirror effect of a conventional laser.

At least that’s how I tried to explain it to myself rather than recognize that it was a tube of plastic with roadsign crushed reflective glass coated on it and then a “glow” aura added with optical effects during post-production.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:08 PM

In other movie news, I heard on the radio today that John Carter bombed. Is that true? I may be able to rent it earlier than I thought.

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:09 PM

The whole sith versus Jedi rivalry is basically Ninja versus Samurai. The sith are supposed to be sneaky, without honor, evil, and nasty. The Jedi are supposed to be upfront, honorable, good, and nice.

So why would the sneaky one challenge the other guys to an open Two versus One battle? I’d think he’d be sooner to emerge out of the shadows, cut Quigone’s throat, and then vanish back into the darkness with a big smile on his face.

Karmashock on March 23, 2012 at 7:59 PM

Of course, “real” ninja did more posting political poetry, and real samurai were some of the most vicious, murderous bastards imaginable.

Count to 10 on March 23, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Here, wash the distaste out of your mouth with this:

http://youtu.be/BgAlQuqzl8o

The Cello Wars.

Ukiah on March 23, 2012 at 8:10 PM

Was actually the fourth one, but is the first of the prequels.

msupertas on March 23, 2012 at 7:59 PM

Thanks, msupertas, the order of these releases is very confusing. I promised someone on another of these threads I would take the time to watch the first one. I still haven’t taken the time , yet.

Bmore on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

Really, you can keep your light saber flashiness… I’ll take that variable sword. Less flash, more lethal. Cuts through anything… variable length on the fly.

ajacksonian on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

Shoot, this didn’t even make it into the epic Harry Plinkett takedowns of the prequels. (Or did it? Can’t recall.)

Ohhhhhh yes he did. (Go to 23:40 in Part 2 on the page AP linked).

Anyone who hasn’t seen these Red Letter Media takedowns of the three Star Wars films owe it to themselves to check it out — he skewers them mercilessly.

inviolet on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

It’s called Flynning.

It’s not like it’s new.

Sgt Steve on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

I was 14 when the first movie came out and was in puppy love with Luke Skywalker, like every other girl my age. The line was around the theater and I can still remember how awed we were at the special effects.

The series should have ended with the first movie – no “Luke, I am your father”, no cute little Ewoks, no logic disconnects between the last/first 3 and the first/last 3 movies. A simple good vs evil, boy likes the girl story.

If Anakin built 3PO, then how come he doesn’t recognize him when he’s Darth Vader? George Lucas as a writer sucks.

Common Sense on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

Uh, a little too much time on your hands, just maybe?
msupertas on March 23, 2012 at 8:05 PM

I don’t deny them their obsession at all. But I do indeed giggle about it. (As I do with AP’s zombie TV-show obsession.)
:D

whatcat on March 23, 2012 at 8:12 PM

I see two white guys attacking a hooded black and red man. Somebody call Al Sharpton.

Capp on March 23, 2012 at 8:12 PM

It’s not like Lucas was trying to pass it off as reality. It’s entertainment, can’t ya’ just enjoy it? Maybe these Lucas critics are the same leftist dumbmasses who believe everything Obama and the libturd mediots say…

stukinIL4now on March 23, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

And why do most aliens look like humans with make-up on?

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:13 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.Basic.

Duh…

Mojave Mark on March 23, 2012 at 8:15 PM

If Anakin built 3PO, then how come he doesn’t recognize him when he’s Darth Vader? George Lucas as a writer sucks.

Common Sense on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

And Obi Wan and R2D2 and C3PO were best buddies in the prequels, but in the original 1st STAR WARS they don’t know each other and Obi Wan says: “I don’t remember owning a droid.” of R2D2.

Epic (literally) fail.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:17 PM

“only Siths believe in absolutes.”

Which is laid to rest when Yoda says, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM

Actually, it’s laid to rest the moment it’s spoken by Prequel Obi-Wan. “Only” is an absolute statement.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:19 PM

And why do most aliens look like humans with make-up on?
itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:13 PM

Sometimes they have bumps on their noses/foreheads – so there is that to promote the suspension of disbelief.

whatcat on March 23, 2012 at 8:20 PM

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:19 PM

If only I had thought of that.

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:21 PM

“only Siths believe in absolutes.”

Which is laid to rest when Yoda says, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM

Actually, it’s laid to rest the moment it’s spoken by Prequel Obi-Wan. “Only” is an absolute statement.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:19 PM

Bada-boom, George!

Logic in Philosophy 101.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:21 PM

Sometimes they have bumps on their noses/foreheads – so there is that to promote the suspension of disbelief.

whatcat on March 23, 2012 at 8:20 PM

The wife of a guy I work with has bumps on her nose and forehead. You’re telling me she’s an alien?

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:22 PM

If Anakin built 3PO, then how come he doesn’t recognize him when he’s Darth Vader? George Lucas as a writer sucks.

Common Sense on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

And Obi Wan and R2D2 and C3PO were best buddies in the prequels, but in the original 1st STAR WARS they don’t know each other and Obi Wan says: “I don’t remember owning a droid.” of R2D2.

Epic (literally) fail.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:17 PM

1. If you look at all the films, you’ll find other droids with same basic look as C3-PO. I’d have to relisten to determine whether Vader ever heard C3-PO referred to by name.

2. Obi-Wan lied about owning a droid in the original film because it’s part of the general lying he’s doing to Luke about his past, Vader’s past, etc.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:23 PM

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:21 PM

Yeah, that’s Lucas inserting his BDS into his, er, art. The whole franchise is about whether people turn to the Dark Side, but there aren’t moral absolutes? Is there some “Grey Area of the Force” that Lucas never bothers to mention? It’s one of the dumbest lines in the film, and it’s not like it lacked for competition.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:26 PM

2. Obi-Wan lied about owning a droid in the original film because it’s part of the general lying he’s doing to Luke about his past, Vader’s past, etc.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:23 PM

But what he told Luke was true, “from a certain point of view.” Obi was a liberal Democrat’s (BIRM) dream candidate.

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:28 PM

2. Obi-Wan lied about owning a droid in the original film because it’s part of the general lying he’s doing to Luke about his past, Vader’s past, etc.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:23 PM

C3PO knew Obi Wan as well, and never said “Hello old chap!” to his age old pal when they met, with Luke and R2D2.

(Or did the Sith erase their memory banks?)

Lucasfilm Logic lapse-#1138.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:28 PM

Seriously, I thought you were going to tell me something truly awful like Darth Maul came out in favor of ObamaCare.

The lightsaber duel in the venerated Episode 4 was particularly lame by today’s standards and yet I don’t see articles written about this. I’m going to say its because of your racism against those from Tatoonie like little Anakin, who are featured in Episode 1.

redeye on March 23, 2012 at 8:30 PM

Anyone who hasn’t seen these Red Letter Media takedowns of the three Star Wars films owe it to themselves to check it out — he skewers them mercilessly.

Indeed. His reviews are much more entertaining than the movies themselves…I was a bit disappointed he didn’t destroy that atrocious 2009 Star Trek movie in his review…igg.

Battlecruiser-operational on March 23, 2012 at 8:30 PM

The Cello Wars.

Ukiah on March 23, 2012 at 8:10 PM

Thanks for that! It was great!

As for the fight scene? All I really remember is John Williams great music score.

RoadRunner on March 23, 2012 at 8:31 PM

STAR WARS (roll eyes).

Pork-Chop on March 23, 2012 at 8:33 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM
Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.Basic.

Duh…

Mojave Mark on March 23, 2012 at 8:15 PM

These are a long time ago in a galaxy far away if I remember correctly. But that doesn’t mean the prequels weren’t because they break every rule made in the ones that came chronologically later.

Kelligan on March 23, 2012 at 8:35 PM

What? Is Star Wars now the Sarah Palin of movie punching bags?
Call me a 50 year old kid, I loved the prequels!

Kini on March 23, 2012 at 8:37 PM

Kini on March 23, 2012 at 8:37 PM

50 year old kid!
:D

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Have you ever wondered how Princess Leia did Jabba the Hutt?

BL@KBIRD on March 23, 2012 at 8:40 PM

Remember the intended insult that “only Siths believe in absolutes.”

King B on March 23, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Actually, I thought it was the other way around. When Palpatine was turning Anakin, he made the statement that “The Jedi believe in two absolutes, while the Sith see the full spectrum” or words to that effect. With Jedi it was dark vs. light while the Sith had shades of gray.

AZfederalist on March 23, 2012 at 8:41 PM

Turns out that all their base are not belong to us.

Zombie on March 23, 2012 at 8:43 PM

Have you ever wondered how Princess Leia did Jabba the Hutt?

BL@KBIRD on March 23, 2012 at 8:40 PM

micropenis.

Tim_CA on March 23, 2012 at 8:47 PM

Remember the intended insult that “only Siths believe in absolutes.”

King B on March 23, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Which is laid to rest when Yoda says, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

predator on March 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM

Actually, I thought it was the other way around. When Palpatine was turning Anakin, he made the statement that “The Jedi believe in two absolutes, while the Sith see the full spectrum” or words to that effect. With Jedi it was dark vs. light while the Sith had shades of gray.

AZfederalist on March 23, 2012 at 8:41 PM

2. Obi-Wan lied about owning a droid in the original film because it’s part of the general lying he’s doing to Luke about his past, Vader’s past, etc.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:23 PM

There is a perfectly good — and more to the point, absolutely true — explanation for these and every other inconsistency in the Star Wars universe: bad writing.

HitNRun on March 23, 2012 at 8:53 PM

It would have been better if it had a story that was interesting and well written.

BL@KBIRD on March 23, 2012 at 8:59 PM

Everything he did after THX-1138 is crap anyway. No point in even discussing it.

Zombie on March 23, 2012 at 9:01 PM

Actually, it’s laid to rest the moment it’s spoken by Prequel Obi-Wan. “Only” is an absolute statement.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:19 PM

I’ve told you a billion times to stop exaggerating.

John the Libertarian on March 23, 2012 at 9:04 PM

“I don’t remember owning a droid.” of R2D2.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:17 PM

Senility?

John the Libertarian on March 23, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Well, if you want to get technical the idea of a light sabre having an “end” to it is pretty retarded to begin with.

bernverdnardo1 on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

The science is far fetched but not retarded. A laser sword would have no end to it, but a light saber would more than likely be made from plasma. Same thing with the blaster’s laser bullets, they would be plasma.

/nerd out

Daemonocracy on March 23, 2012 at 9:08 PM

The science is far fetched but not retarded. A laser sword would have no end to it, but a light saber would more than likely be made from plasma. Same thing with the blaster’s laser bullets, they would be plasma.
/nerd out

Daemonocrac

Now I understand…why nerds never get any poontang.

Zombie on March 23, 2012 at 9:15 PM

That’s unfortunately rather typical. People do that when “sword-fighting” with their friends, strike at the sword rather than strike at the target. It’s lame, but common.

Greg Q on March 23, 2012 at 9:30 PM

No comment on the abuse of “emergency powers” granted to Palpatine which he uses to dissolve the republic and become an evil dictator (right? It’s been a while)? At least give Lucas that much.

Oh and the episode 4 lightsaber battles were meant to mimic samurai style fights but it was later changed to be more dynamic (bonus features from the star wars trilogy dvd pack, the revised aka effed up versions). No realistic “I’m actually trying to kill my adversary” required. Just ooo and ahh.

sublibertate on March 23, 2012 at 9:43 PM

As for the fight scene? All I really remember is John Williams great music score.

RoadRunner on March 23, 2012 at 8:31 PM

Oh listened to? Absolutely, you can listen to it repeatedly and enjoy it every time. But as for actually watched? No… not watched.

Ukiah on March 23, 2012 at 9:45 PM

Han shot first!

Flange on March 23, 2012 at 7:50 PM

In fiction fact (as opposed to revisionist fiction) – excuse the oxymorons please – Han, and only Han, shot in that scene.

Ira on March 23, 2012 at 9:52 PM

Now I understand…why nerds never get any poontang.

Zombie on March 23, 2012 at 9:15 PM

It’s only delayed, not denied. Amazing how attractive women find a billion dollar software empire. Or even a hundred-thousand dollar software fiefdom.

Wanna watch Star Wars? Damn right she does.

*cough*

Axe on March 23, 2012 at 9:53 PM

Han shot first!

Flange on March 23, 2012 at 7:50 PM

In fiction fact (as opposed to revisionist fiction) – excuse the oxymorons please – Han, and only Han, shot in that scene.

Ira on March 23, 2012 at 9:52 PM

. . . It’s also perfectly appropriate to give the quickness of a smuggling run as a distance when dealing with an “engine” that distorts space-time. Just sayin’. :)

Axe on March 23, 2012 at 9:57 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Star Wars is actually in the past, in a different galaxy.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

strictnein on March 23, 2012 at 10:05 PM

They used a real martial artist to play Maul, the same guy was Snake Eyes in GI Joe the movie, so I think he knows how to fight, the choreagrapher would be at fault here, and Lucas hired a Brit, out of Pinewood studio’s.

In the DVD interviews, Lucas said he wanted to show what the Jedi and Sith could do when they were fully trained and at their peak of power. He blew off the lame sword fights in the first three as an untrained Jedi, and elderly one ( How obi-Wan aged 50 years in the 18 that it took Luke to grow up is left unexplained).. and Darth Vader he said was a crippled man.. except General Grievous who was even more machine than Vader, was faster than the average jedi..

many holes.. yet,.. I loved them at the time, still like 6 and 3 best.. They touch me, bad art, bad film yet they still touch my emotions more than just about any other films I’ve seen..

I have no clue why,.. other than, for a while I can leave my world and dwell in his, flaws and all, and be awed.

mark81150 on March 23, 2012 at 10:09 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Star Wars is actually in the past, in a different galaxy.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

strictnein on March 23, 2012 at 10:05 PM

My bad. But that makes it all the more incredible:
They’re using a language that hasn’t been invented yet!

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 10:13 PM

2. Obi-Wan lied about owning a droid in the original film because it’s part of the general lying he’s doing to Luke about his past, Vader’s past, etc.

Karl on March 23, 2012 at 8:23 PM

C3PO knew Obi Wan as well, and never said “Hello old chap!” to his age old pal when they met, with Luke and R2D2.

(Or did the Sith erase their memory banks?)

Lucasfilm Logic lapse-#1138.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:28 PM

No, at the end of Episode 3, Captain Antilles says to wipe C-3PO’s memory banks, and 3PO goes, “Oh no!”. So it was specifically explained, even if the reason why he wanted to erase his memory wasn’t.

Tresjin on March 23, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Enemy Mine was good… I loved the books the Forever War by Joe Halderman,.. and the Hammer’s Slammers future war series about a mercenary regiment.

I did note one thing, clearly shown in Revenge of The Sith, the battlecrusiers were actually fighting at close range, because they were using something that actually works as a space weapon.. real cannons.. they clearly ejected spent shell casings as they ran broadside and exchanged volleys.. I’ve read many articles about lasers being ineffective space weapons because of the pyhsics envolved. That Lucas ate his pride and reverted to something like old tech deck guns, impressed me.

Lucas may be a tyrant, and a bad story writer, but he does ok, I mean, why do his films mezmerise folks as they do me, my son..

mark81150 on March 23, 2012 at 10:18 PM

No, at the end of Episode 3, Captain Antilles says to wipe C-3PO’s memory banks, and 3PO goes, “Oh no!”. So it was specifically explained, even if the reason why he wanted to erase his memory wasn’t.

Tresjin on March 23, 2012 at 10:15 PM

The DVD set making of interviews mentioned, it, Princess Leias father asked him too, so that Anarkin could never find out about the twins birth, should he ever encounter C3PO at some time. He didn’t wipe R2′s memory though,… I guess because having no speech, he was less of a threat.. but that’s not rational, since he’d still have his memories showing his entire life and history. I’m sure they could, Vader could crack his code.

mark81150 on March 23, 2012 at 10:24 PM

I’d love to see these made into a movie triology..

The Damned Trilogy is a set of three science fiction novels by Alan Dean Foster

On a mission to find new resources and allies, a Weave scout ship discovers Earth circa late 20th/early 21st century AD and find that humans are uniquely suited as allies, in that they have the ability to fight, first of all; are adaptable to a wide variety of environments, have few (or sometimes no) compunctions regarding war (humans having been fighting each other for all of their recorded history), and above all seem even more enthusiastic when their aggression is focused on non-humans. Humans have the potential to become fearsome allies for the Weave and are also physiologically immune to the Amplitur mind control abilities.

After the Weave scouts convince volunteers (mercenaries) from Earth to join the war, the tide turns for the Weave and the main conflict towards the end of the series becomes a question of what will happen to the new warriors when the war finally ends if they have not become more civilized (and therefore, less effective allies). Throughout the book the humans are greatly feared by the rest of the Weave, because of the human race’s violent tendencies (the rest of the galaxy’s species lived in harmony amongst themselves before they developed enough to reach out into space).

The first book deals with the Weave and humans trying to come to terms with each other, the first humans begin to fight in the War and the Amplitur attempt to capture Earth to deny the Weave their new allies.

a very bad mistake… Humans in this series are the “Damned”.. and the universes most natural and entusiasitic killers. You never see us portrayed like this, and it has some questions about who humans really are,.. savior, or devil.. and I found the books fascinating.

mark81150 on March 23, 2012 at 10:38 PM

What a stupid critique. Of course it’s choreographed. Even in the “Making Of” video they show the actors practicing. Since it is established being physically touched by a light saber blade vivisects you, they can’t actually show the blades touching someone until plot demands. Qui Gon is killed when he’s finally hit. Anakin gets his arm chopped off in the second movie. Obi Wan disappears in the original. It’s all a dance meant to put on a good show. It’s a purposeful illusion where you are supposed to willing suspend belief and accept the verisimilitude of the scene.

hadsil on March 23, 2012 at 11:28 PM

As a Star Wars fan for many years now, and I favor the original trilogy from the 1970s and early 80s to the newer ones, I don’t think the prequels are as bad as so many vehemently claim they are.

The first time I saw the prequels in the theaters I thought they were pretty bad, but after seeing them time and time again over the years on Spike channel, they grew on me. I think if you don’t expect them to have the same exact look and tone of the originals, they are fine on their own.

I just watched that video Allah Pundit posted about light saber duels (“The (Totally) Phantom Menace “). What am I missing? What was the point of this video?

Was this video claiming that the fights are staged and fake? Of course they are, what does that video maker expect?

If you ever watch any “making of” specials on DVDs or on TV (not just Star Wars but with any film), they always explain that all fighting scenes are nothing but highly choreographed dance scenes with a few fake punches thrown in, so I don’t see the point in critiquing the Star Wars duels on that basis.

Even punches thrown on shows and movies are not real. They have one actor throw a punch at another actor from about two feet away, and the other actor has to lurch back as though he was actually punched in the face, then the sound effects guys add a ‘hit in the face’ sound afterwards.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the light saber duels are filmed in the same way, we’re meant to think that think they’re up close and personal dodging blows, but in reality are seven feet apart and jumping and dodging on cue.

I wish people would stop nit picking Star Wars (and Walking Dead TV show) to death.

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Yes, & it’s just a coincidence that in the future, all planets speak 21st century English.

itsnotaboutme on March 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Yes, as an avid sci fi fan, I really want to sit through entire episodes or films with English sub-titles (not!), or have to endure ten months of education on how to understand the foreign alien languages before watching actual acting/ stories.

If they don’t have the aliens speak contemporary English, you’re either stuck with sub-titles all the time (occasionally is fine like the 4 or 5 sentences by Jabba the Hutt in ‘Return of the Jedi,’ but not more than that), or you won’t understand the alien language at all.

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:47 PM

Well, if you want to get technical the idea of a light sabre having an “end” to it is pretty retarded to begin with.

bernverdnardo1 on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

That (among other things) was pointed out in a show on the History Channel a couple of years ago. They did a show about how feasible or accurate the science in the films was.

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:49 PM

Saw the second one on DVD, turned it off mid way through. Didn’t bother with the third.

rbj on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Of the prequels you mean? The third one was the best one. It was darker and not as lame as the first two. Watching Anakin turn evil was interesting.

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:51 PM

It’s only delayed, not denied. Amazing how attractive women find a billion dollar software empire. Or even a hundred-thousand dollar software fiefdom.

Wanna watch Star Wars? Damn right she does.

*cough*

Axe on March 23, 2012 at 9:53 PM

Not all sci-fi nerds and fans are males. Some of us are females. :o)

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:52 PM

If Anakin built 3PO, then how come he doesn’t recognize him when he’s Darth Vader? George Lucas as a writer sucks.

Common Sense on March 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

And Obi Wan and R2D2 and C3PO were best buddies in the prequels, but in the original 1st STAR WARS they don’t know each other and Obi Wan says: “I don’t remember owning a droid.” of R2D2.

Epic (literally) fail.

profitsbeard on March 23, 2012 at 8:17 PM

I don’t think Kenobi ever actually owned the droids himself.

He only spent some brief time with R2 aboard the Queen’s spaceship at one point if I remember right.

The droids belonged first to Queen what’s- her- face (Luke and Leia’s mom) who later died, and then they wound up with Senator Who’s-It of Alderaan (Leia’s adoptive dad).

Maybe Darth Vader didn’t recognize C3p0 later on because the droid started out with no gold plating (he was unfinished when built by Anakin, had wires sticking out all over the place), not to mention 3p0 was a common model droid.

In the first Star Wars, and one of the prequels, you can see silver plated duplicate versions of 3p0 walking around, but they talk with female voices. So maybe there are other gold droids like him.

TigerPaw on March 24, 2012 at 12:03 AM

Also 3p0′s memory was wiped at the end of the prequels which might account for why he does not recognize Kenobi or r2 later in the other films.

TigerPaw on March 24, 2012 at 12:06 AM

Since the only people who used lightsabers are Jedi or Sith, this is probably the first real lightsaber duel anyone has had in a thousand years, you can’t expect them to know what they’re doing.

Besides chopping hapless droids and such, all their practice would have been against other Jedi. It really would be like choreography, but when they actually had to fight to kill, they didn’t know how.

halfbaked on March 24, 2012 at 12:10 AM

TigerPaw on March 24, 2012 at 12:03 AM

Yep. It would be like recognizing a specific old car that one of your friends drove 20 years ago.

Captain Kirock on March 24, 2012 at 12:32 AM

Hard to explain why Owen Lars didn’t recognize C3PO, they spent years together in that little moisture farm.

The scene I always wanted to see

VADER: Commander keep searching for the rebel plans, I’ll be down on the planet having a beer with my step brother Owen

halfbaked on March 24, 2012 at 12:55 AM

Yes, as an avid sci fi fan, I really want to sit through entire episodes or films with English sub-titles (not!), or have to endure ten months of education on how to understand the foreign alien languages before watching actual acting/ stories.

If they don’t have the aliens speak contemporary English, you’re either stuck with sub-titles all the time (occasionally is fine like the 4 or 5 sentences by Jabba the Hutt in ‘Return of the Jedi,’ but not more than that), or you won’t understand the alien language at all.

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:47 PM

Doesn’t take that long to learn Klingon. It’s a breeze.

msupertas on March 24, 2012 at 1:14 AM

Not all sci-fi nerds and fans are males. Some of us are females. :o)

TigerPaw on March 23, 2012 at 11:52 PM

You must be interacted with using completely different rules than those used with Traci with an i. :) I just needed to slap down a most untrue meme. You know. In manly fashion.

I would tell you how much I love your nick now, but you wouldn’t buy it. I’ll try to remember to tell you later.

Axe on March 24, 2012 at 1:31 AM

moisture farm

halfbaked on March 24, 2012 at 12:55 AM

Stocked with ” ‘vaporators,” not ” ‘densors,” too.

Axe on March 24, 2012 at 1:32 AM

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