Sebelius to kids: Instead of calling each other “jerks,” why don’t you call each other “jerks”?

posted at 3:40 pm on March 16, 2012 by Tina Korbe

Yesterday at a Washington D.C. middle school, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius hosted a screening of the Cartoon Network’s new film, “Stop Bullying: Speak Out.” As its name suggests, the movie aims to teach kids to speak out when they witness bullying — and to not bully other children themselves. One of its many prescriptions: Don’t call classmates words like “stupid,” “fat” and “jerk.”

Sebelius must have dozed off during the film, though, because, after the screening ended, in a panel discussion moderated by CNN’s Don Lemon, she gave advice that directly contradicted the movie:

“What do you think is the best advice for people who are going into watching this film and anyone who is watching?” asked Lemon.

As part of her answer, Sebelius said: “I think, very important, is for kids to understand how powerful you really are. You might feel like you’re not big enough, not strong enough, not–don’t have enough tools. But just saying, ‘Stop it! You know, you’re being a jerk!’–walk away, get away from this person can make a huge amount of difference.”

“And you can really rescue somebody,” Sebelius said. “You can be a real hero.”

Which is it? Is “jerk” a taboo word or the right word to use to speak out against … jerks? As they say, “Live by political correctness, die by political correctness.” As we teach kids to stand up against bullies, are we actually depriving them of the skills and tools they need to stand up against bullies? It’s a serious question.

Sebelius contradicted herself on another point. She said the government plays an important role in combating bullying in schools — presumably by drawing awareness to the issue. But then she hit the nail on the head when she said parents should step in when a child is bullied. “As a parent you should be empowered to really act on behalf of your child and other children,” she said.

As with so many well-intentioned initiatives, anti-bullying programs treat the symptom rather than the disease. Kids often act out when their own home lives are less than ideal. While playground fights will be as perennial as the playground itself, the best way to ensure harmony in public — including at school and among children — is to work for harmony in private. That means to seek to support stable families. While I’d rather the federal government not waste tax dollars on any of these types of initiatives, if we’re going to have ‘em, why not a “Save the Families” or “Stop Divorce: Speak Out” initiative?


Related Posts:

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Comment pages: 1 2 3 4 5

And I still think you could use some professional help for your rampant narcissism and apparent need to be dominated/abused.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 6:45 PM

I would suggest a psychiatrist like the one in “2 1/2 Men” – I like her attitude.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 6:48 PM

It’s Friday afternoon and look what your thugs in chief are doing.

Guess which universities will be exempted? The 3 your president attended. All they have to do is peep, or act as if they’re going to.

Schadenfreude on March 16, 2012 at 6:48 PM

Oops, my bad, meant to say 250lb men.

uncommon sense on March 16, 2012 at 6:49 PM

We’re 16 Trillion dollars in debt, ran a deficit last month alone of over $200 billion — and this kind of crap is what the federal government is spending our money on? Has any kid anywhere, in the entire history of schooling, ever been persuaded not to bully another kid because a cartoon character — or an idiotic Cabinet member — lectured him or her not to?

Stop wasting our money!!!

AZCoyote on March 16, 2012 at 6:50 PM

Oops, my bad, meant to say 250lb men.

uncommon sense on March 16, 2012 at 6:49 PM

That’s ok – most of us got it.
Ya – one of the basics in something like judo is how to use your opponents’s size’weight against them. Pacifists who would never attempt to learn something like that would never understand how it works – and how easy it is if you know what you’e doing.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Sebelius has to be one of the bigger jerks I’ve never met.

Danny on March 16, 2012 at 6:52 PM

The definition of trolling seems to be pretty subjective and ambigious.

I’m just a guy talking about bullying and how I dealt with it. Some of you guys are being unnecessarily contentious. Why is this such a big deal to you?

I kind of expect the Romney supporters to target me when I’m slapping him around with his record but I’m a little surprised at all the anger on this bullying thread.

I blame it on the fact we had to Spring Foward this week for the time change and everybody is a little grumpy due to a lost of one hour of sleep.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 6:52 PM

I blame it on the fact we had to Spring Foward this week for the time change and everybody is a little grumpy due to a lost of one hour of sleep.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 6:52 PM

In my case, I’ve been home sick all week and have nothing better to do – especially when I see someone who really doesn’t understand what they’re talking about and makes it soooo obvious.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 6:56 PM

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Once again, we are laughing at you. No one is in a grumpy mood. You are very funny and entertaining, Big Brain.

Resist We Much on March 16, 2012 at 6:58 PM

The Stupidelius credo:
Calling names, baaaaad.
Treating the people as subjects to be bled and pushed into the grave, goooooood.

Western_Civ on March 16, 2012 at 6:58 PM

But if a woman dresses a certain way, and goes out and gets drunk/stoned, and makes it clear she’s “so wasted” and “looking for a good time”, I’d say she has little to no basis to claim rape if someone takes her up on her offer.
And I still think you could use some professional help for your rampant narcissism and apparent need to be dominated/abused.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 6:45 PM

Wow, all I can say is anybody who thinks like this probably is capable of rape.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Pretty sure Carbonite and ProFlowers won’t be advertising on dentathurdent’s posts if they found Rush’s comments to be too much.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:01 PM

Hey, Tesla, has anyone ever ordered you to, “squeal like a pig”?

blink on March 16, 2012 at 7:02 PM

NO but I have been rafting on that river, the Chattooga many times. It’s about 45 minutes from Clemson University where I was taught and mastered the concepts of mechanical engineering as a young man.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:07 PM

The funny thing Tesla, is yes martial arts is t about size and weight, I know 110lb women who can take down 250 men. Your lack of knowledge of the concepts on martial arts is astounding. Let alone the history of such things.
Begone now troll, I for one am done with you.

uncommon sense on March 16, 2012 at 6:44 PM

One of my current co-workers is retired Army Special Forces. He’s about 6’2″ or so and maybe a little over 200 lbs right now (in his late 50s). He was telling me when he first went into Special Forces they had some initial martial arts training from a little old oriental guy – maybe about 5’1″ and 110 lbs. He says the instructor asked if any of them thought they could take him on. My co-worker said he volunteered thinking he could take this little guy – and he says the “little old guy” proceeded to whip his a$$ all over the mat.

I’ve had some (minimal) training in boxing, wrestling, judo, and unarmed combat, and because of that I feel relatively self-confident in most situations, but because of that I also know that it would be foolish to go after someone with significant martial arts training no matter what their size.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:07 PM

The thing about making Deliverance jokes is that everybody does it. That’s why I don’t.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:08 PM

No offense to women, but I like my chances against most women even if they know martial arts, unless they are super Butch and on steroids.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:09 PM

Wow, all I can say is anybody who thinks like this probably is capable of rape.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 6:59 PM

No – happily married for 24 years and even though I’m probably not as pretty as you claim to be, I’ve never had a need to consider anything of the sort. But I also would not throw someone else in jail for something under those circumstances.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:11 PM

No offense to women, but I like my chances against most women even if they know martial arts, unless they are super Butch and on steroids.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:09 PM

As a self-prclaimed “pretty boy” you wouldn’t stand a chance against any of the women I know.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:13 PM

If a woman tells you no, it’s rape. Doesn’t matter how she’s dressed or how flirty you think she has been.

I can’t believe I have to deliver this message to somebody on this website.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:13 PM

Well, I’m confident that I can take most women unless they are more like a man than a woman.

In the end it’s about strength, you can learn all the martial arts you want but force wins out in the end.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:14 PM

If a woman tells you no, it’s rape. Doesn’t matter how she’s dressed or how flirty you think she has been.

I can’t believe I have to deliver this message to somebody on this website.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:13 PM

Under the circumstances I described, she’s not saying no – she’s making a likely false claim after the fact – see Tawana Brawley and others like her. Under our judicial process you’re innocent until proven guilty – and I would not put someone in jail for rape and the associated lifetime stigma attached if the evidence shows what I described.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:19 PM

I am confident I could be a normal woman in a fight, not that I would fight a woman. I understand there’s a difference b/t man and woman. There are probably some sickly weak males who could get beat up by a woman but the exception to the rule doesn’t make the rule.

I think part of my basic skillset is I can beat up most women. It’s a genetic thing.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:20 PM

He’s just trolling you. How does it feel to be on the other side of a trolling?

blink on March 16, 2012 at 7:15 PM

Kind of fun and I have the time – home sick, sitting here drinking some medicinal wine to fight the cold (fruit juice + alcohol to kill the germs), wife is on Facebook, nothing better to do.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:21 PM

I am confident I could be a normal woman in a fight
Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:20 PM

I’m sure you could.

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:23 PM

Saw a neighborhood bully get his in NYC. Nasty little bastard and didnt stick to people his own age. He made the mistake of grabbing a friend’s boob on the street. She may have bee 74, but sh won a gold medal for Germany in the 34 olympics.Still had the shoulders. She beat his azz right there on 86th and 2nd Ave. It was a pleasure to watch.

katy the mean old lady on March 16, 2012 at 7:23 PM

I am confident I could be a normal woman in a fight,

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:20 PM

That’s what you wrote, I just copied and pasted. Anyway I’ll bet you run like a girl too.

Oldnuke on March 16, 2012 at 7:25 PM

katy bar the door,

1934 seems just like yesterday.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:25 PM

I don’t run at all now because the cartilige in my knees has basically worn away.

I was a track star in high school along time ago, like 15 years or more.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:28 PM

From what I remember, calling a bully a jerk and walking away was the surest way to get a sucker punch in the back of the head. Do these people actually think that simply walking away from a violent sociopath ends the conflict?

weew on March 16, 2012 at 7:29 PM

I don’t think star means what you think it means.

blink on March 16, 2012 at 7:29 PM

Inconceivable…..

dentarthurdent on March 16, 2012 at 7:34 PM

If he’s a sociopath, seems logical to run away as fast as you can and then tell on him to some adult who can deal with him.

You Fight Club types think it’s logical to engage the sociopath in a physical battle that he will likely win b/c that’s why he’s targeted you in the first place.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:37 PM

Blink, I’m not the one making crude Deliverance jokes about man on man rape.

I get you want to play the tough guy on the internet. But being a tough guy isn’t always the smart play.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:41 PM

I was a track star in high school

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:28 PM

Yeah, ‘cuz everyone knows that the real track stars are the ones wearing the helmets and riding the shortbus.

Resist We Much on March 16, 2012 at 7:44 PM

Ah, the Princess Bride reference, great movie.

uncommon sense on March 16, 2012 at 7:44 PM

Resist We Much,

Why make fun of the special needs kids who ride the short bus?

It’s cool to insult me but leave those kids out of it.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:46 PM

the adults have very little idea what is really going on there. No matter how hard they try or what they do, everything important is going on under the radar.

A big reason for that is because most of their information is gained from lying weasels who are perfectly fine with fingering other people for their own motives.

Lily on March 16, 2012 at 5:37 PM

No. First, kids radar is tuned differently. Status and pecking order affect them personaly. Adults have at least 2 strikes against them. No single adut is around all of the time. Kids go into hallways and bathrooms and change classes throughout the day. Also adults typicaly have other responsibilities, like teaching, so that is where their mind is focused. They don’t have the leisure to watch like the quiet kid in the back, and see the shuffling of notes beheind their back. Things have to get fairly out of hand before it becomes a big enough disruption to attrackt their attention. Hell, they can’t keep eyes in 30 places at once.

School officials are Screws, and by that I am identifying them with prison guards. Any prisoner learns how to put one over on the guards, and loses respect for them when they succeed. The same is true of kids with parents, but the difference between parents and teachers is TIME. Time to learn what the signs are with any given kid, and much more focus on just that one kid. And these days, the parent can do more in the way of discipline than the teacher as well.

AnotherOpinion on March 16, 2012 at 7:49 PM

I kind of expect the Romney supporters to target me when I’m slapping him around with his record but I’m a little surprised at all the anger on this bullying thread.

Ok, how is complaining that you’re being bullied here, then indicating you’ve handled it, THEN using the word slapping in reference to a candidate who has NO idea who you are, and yet, you are bullying a candidate vicariously through posters here ?

And you say you’re educated ? I have my doubts about that.

DevilsPrinciple on March 16, 2012 at 7:50 PM

This is a funny thread.

Those of you criticizing Tesla for using his strengths to squash bullies badly misunderstand bullying. The way you stop it is to do whatever actually works to stop it. If that involves getting authorities involved, then go for it, if you can do it in a way that avoids blowback. If it involves decking the b**ch from behind with a baseball bat, then you do what you have to do, if you can get away with it.

The innocent victim of bullying has absolutely no obligation to fight fair. None. Zero. Anyone who says otherwise is a stupid jackass who either doesn’t know what they are braying about or are a bully themselves.

No, I never actually had to use a baseball bat, but I sure as Hell didn’t fight fair or on the bully’s terms. As soon as the bullies learned I would attack them out of the blue in public, as soon as no authority was looking our way, they moved on to softer targets. Well, all but one. That guy was genuinely dangerous. Fortunately, he broke another kid’s jaw and was gone for a year and lost interest in me.

fadetogray on March 16, 2012 at 7:50 PM

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:46 PM

Oh, puhlease! The biggest insult to those kids would be having to rid the short bus with you. Seriously, Tawana, you come up with some BS. You are almost at Fleet Admiral Bozone Mitty (Ret.), International Man of Idiocy, Bestest Friend of Thurston Howell, III, of Townhall.com level…and that’s some deep BS.

Now, you are claiming to you no longer run because the cartilage in your knees has worn away when the other day, it was because you had cancer, epilepsy and severe arthritis at the age of 34. (We’re the same age). I don’t have cancer, epilepsy, and severe arthritis and my knees are fine. Which is it?

Resist We Much on March 16, 2012 at 7:52 PM

Well, I think arthritis and cartilige wearing away in you knees is the same thing. Seems like you are making a distinctino with no difference.

Not sure why you think my cancer, which has been in remission since 2007, or my lifelong epilepsy has anything to do with my knee problems. Not related at all.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:56 PM

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 4:52 PM

The gayness is strong with this one.

El Salsero on March 16, 2012 at 7:59 PM

Sebelius has to be one of the bigger jerks I’ve never met.

Danny on March 16, 2012 at 6:52 PM

….she’s the only female Jug Eared appointee, that always looks like she just got done participating in a circle jerk, when ever she speaks or is seen on camera.

KOOLAID2 on March 16, 2012 at 8:01 PM

The gayness is strong with this one.

El Salsero on March 16, 2012 at 7:59 PM

I never say stuff like this yet I’m the one that people try to get banned from this website.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 8:01 PM

And you say you’re educated ? I have my doubts about that.

DevilsPrinciple on March 16, 2012 at 7:50 PM

You can doubt it all you want but I’ll still have the B.S. in Mechannical Engineering from Clemson University all the same. They grant the degrees, not you, and that’s a good thing. :)

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Well, I think arthritis and cartilige wearing away in you knees is the same thing. Seems like you are making a distinctino with no difference.

Not necessarily. There are difference forms are arthritis and different causes.

Not sure why you think my cancer, which has been in remission since 2007

Not sure why you continue to claim to have cancer if you have been in remission for 5 years.

or my lifelong epilepsy has anything to do with my knee problems. Not related at all.

I didn’t claim any relation. The other day, epilepsy, along with cancer and arthritis, was the reason that you didn’t run. Now, today, you don’t run because of your knees.

Resist We Much on March 16, 2012 at 8:07 PM

I don’t believe you have ever dealt with a bully in your life. I did at a young age. And the bullying did not stop until I kicked the weaselly punk’s ass. I learned a valuable lesson that day and I was never bullied again.

NotCoach on March 16, 2012 at 4:18 PM

Insert maniacal laughter!

Never dealt with bullies? Pshaw. I dealt with bullies my entire childhood. It never stopped until interesting enough high school when I went to a school none of the bullies went to except one or two, but our schedules never intertwined, so we never met again. I speak from experience. Nothing stopped them. There were talks with the teacher, Talks with the Assistant Principal. Talks with the Dean. Talks with the parents. Fighting back didn’t stop them.

I came close to having my own “Columbine”. After another horrendous day I shouted out I was bringing a knife to kill them all in 5th grade. I really did bring a knife to school the next day. The threat was taken serious enough the Assistant Principal got on my case. I chickened out though and denied bringing one. They didn’t search my bookbag. If they did they would have found it, then where would I be? Me suspended or worse, the bullies getting away with it again. It continued on through junior high. Finally high school arrived as my salvation, but it was too late by then. I suffered Depression my junior year and almost dropped out.

It was very difficult to make friends and still is. I have my group of friends now but I often channel my inner Sally Field trying to comprehend why they like me, they really, really like me. It probably is wrong to blame everything on the bullies, but there is no question they were a significant factor. I don’t condone Columbine, but I would not have been an impartial juror applicant.

Like anyone I had my childhood heroes – Captain Kirk, Shazam, Buck Rogers, but there is one who was a True Hero to me, and he still is today – Ricky Linderman (Adam Baldwin).

hadsil on March 16, 2012 at 8:11 PM

If I know kids, after the faux international display against Rush, I suspect they’ll be calling each other sluts -thanks to Obama’s planned reaction to a fairly accurate observation by Rush. Well, she wasn’t Mother Theresa anyways.

Don L on March 16, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Their home life is irrelevant.

hadsil on March 16, 2012 at 4:09 PM

This is a tremendously uninformed opinion.

John the Libertarian on March 16, 2012 at 4:26 PM

Quite informed as my bullies came from stable two parent homes.

hadsil on March 16, 2012 at 8:16 PM

I didn’t claim any relation. The other day, epilepsy, along with cancer and arthritis, was the reason that you didn’t run. Now, today, you don’t run because of your knees.

Resist We Much on March 16, 2012 at 8:07 PM

I think you are getting some things mixed up as I do have a lot of “health issues” compared to most advanced middle age men. If I said that I didn’t run in the past, I always stated it was due to bad knees. How could it logically be associatged with cancer or epilepsy? Epilepsy is an abnormal condition of the brain, cancer is an abnormality is the rate of cell division that leads to tumors which can can kill you. I’m pretty sure I didn’t attribute my bad knees to cancer or epilepsy.

I like to bring up my cancer when I’m getting attacked on here to guilt trip people. It doesn’t seem to work very well though. :)

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 8:18 PM

I think you are getting some things mixed up as I do have a lot of “health issues” compared to most advanced middle age men. If I said that I didn’t run in the past, I always stated it was due to bad knees. How could it logically be associatged with cancer or epilepsy? Epilepsy is an abnormal condition of the brain, cancer is an abnormality is the rate of cell division that leads to tumors which can can kill you. I’m pretty sure I didn’t attribute my bad knees to cancer or epilepsy.

I’m not getting anything mixed up. I understand the differences in between the medical conditions. I wasn’t the one who brought up various medical conditions (PLURAL) as excuses.

I like to bring up my cancer when I’m getting attacked on here to guilt trip people. It doesn’t seem to work very well though. :)

Neither does anything else you bring up.

Resist We Much on March 16, 2012 at 8:27 PM

We will help her click her heels together soon so she can return to Kansas where she came from. Just a terrible Federal employee.

Amazingoly on March 16, 2012 at 8:28 PM

Al Sharpton,

If I had been born in 1861 rather than 1910, the Hodgkin’s lymphoma would have killed me. It’s a serious cancer.

You are talking to a man who could be dead if I wasn’t fortuute to be born when I was. You should respect that if not me.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 8:31 PM

What Obama needs is to go to war with the Nazis, that’s what bailed us out of the Great Depression back in my glory days.

Ah, to be a young man again. If only there were an “undo” button for the years of your life.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 8:35 PM

If you make good grades and don’t disrupt class and are a good looking kid with a nice smile, teachers love you.

You can’t blame them for favoring these students over others. Lot of kids were jealous of me b/c of it but I never raised my hand in class and asked to be teacher’s pet.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 5:52 PM

Guy sounds like Eddie Haskell.

Mitoch55 on March 16, 2012 at 8:40 PM

Back in the Great Depression, people were very materialistic. It was all about how having the biggest and nicest tent to live in.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 8:47 PM

I was a track star in high school

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:28 PM

I don’t think star means what you think it means.

blink on March 16, 2012 at 7:29 PM

…I don’t think track means what you think it means.

KOOLAID2 on March 16, 2012 at 8:53 PM

You know, I’m sick and tired of all of this “ignore bullies” crap. Stand up to them! Get your a$$ kicked if necessary, but it will only happen once. Make sure they know they’ve been in a fight, they’ll leave you alone.

libertarianlunatic on March 16, 2012 at 3:44 PM

You are correct.

My mother, a very sweet and passive Christian lady, believed the only appropriate, compassionate way to handle bullies was to do nothing.

I was bullied often growing up, and was bullied as an adult by other adults in the workplace.

My mom felt that standing up to a bully, verbally or physically, might hurt the bully’s feelings, so I was encouraged to do nothing about it, and so I usually did nothing, and so the bullying continued, and sometimes got worse.

There were a small number of times I couldn’t take the bullying any more and snapped and either verbally or physically beat the punks into submission, and not only did they leave me alone after that, but some of them apologized to me.

I recognize that there are Scriptures that talk about loving one’s enemy and so on, but there are also passages which tell believers to stand up for themselves.

I think too many Christians ignore the passages that tell us it’s okay for us to defend ourselves (or other people), and they focus only on the “turn the other cheek” parts. They think Christians are supposed to live life as doormats, but that is not what the Bible teaches. I had to learn that the hard way and late in life.

Kids should be taught it’s acceptable for them to defend themselves (even if it means punching a bully out). Some bullies only respect getting their teeth knocked out. Unfortunately, too many schools have a policy that the victim will get punished if he or she fights back.

Most teachers, at least ones I had, were totally useless in this area. Some of the teachers (or other adults like bus drivers, lunch ladies) would sit and watch me getting spit on, punched in the face, and called all sorts of vulgar names but would do nothing to help, so kids cannot depend on adults for protection.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:03 PM

In the end it’s about strength, you can learn all the martial arts you want but force wins out in the end.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 7:14 PM

Depends on too many variables to put it as trite as that. In basic I have watched a 135lb Laoation (sp?) absolutely destroy a 230+ lb guy.

Bunsin2 on March 16, 2012 at 9:03 PM

If you make good grades and don’t disrupt class and are a good looking kid with a nice smile, teachers love you.

You can’t blame them for favoring these students over others. Lot of kids were jealous of me b/c of it but I never raised my hand in class and asked to be teacher’s pet.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 5:52 PM

There are exceptions. Most teachers did like me because I was respectful, smart, studied, knew the material, and I was quiet in class.

However, I had three or four teachers in high school who were mean to the kids, even mean and rude to me. I did not give those teachers any reason to jump on me. I was a shy, quiet, nice kid. I did my school work and caused no trouble in class.

When I was in high school, I had one teacher in particular (in his 40s), who had it in for me, and I don’t know why.

I never misbehaved in his class or anything, but he would occasionally make jokes at my expense in front of the whole class, and he would harass me.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:09 PM

It’s sad that we are raising children to be wimps & wussies with such poor senses of self-worth that everything/anything is considered bullying. Behavior that every generation considered teasing has now become hate crimes because the prime dictum today seems to be “Don’t hurt my itty bitty feelings”

katiejane on March 16, 2012 at 3:56 PM

One person’s teasing is another person’s bullying.

Up until a few years ago, I was a very sensitive person. My feelings got easily hurt. I don’t think that excused the little cretins I grew up with punching me in the face, pulling my hair, making fun of my looks/ clothing.

Some kids have committed suicide based on verbal abuse from peers at school alone, constant name calling (as I believe the case was for the girl from Ireland who attended an American school). Words can and do hurt, and feelings do matter.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Hotair holds me to a higher standard than the rest of you b/c they know I’m a genius.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 4:08 PM

LOL, what you are is freakin’ hilarious.

People can call me whatever they want but they can’t call me stupid.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 4:47 PM

Wow, I bet you have your own mechanical pencil and everything./

S. D. on March 16, 2012 at 9:27 PM

Suddenly,everything every kid or young adult does, it’s because they were “bullied”. Phoebe Prince committed suicide because she was bullied– but really she had a depression problem.

….Kids need to be taught to stand up for themselves, enlist help when they need it, and most of all….stop caring if some kid says something mean to you.
And the rest of us need to stop simplifying everything into “bullying”.

MayBee on March 16, 2012 at 4:01 PM

I agree with some of you wrote, but not the first part.

You can’t believe that bullying did not exacerbate the Irish girl’s depression (or vice versa) or contribute in some way to her suicide. If the kids did not bully her, she likely would not have hanged herself.

I do agree that kids need to be taught to stand up for themselves if or when they are bullied. Parents, liberals, and teachers need to stop telling them to sit there, ignore it, and do nothing.

stop caring if some kid says something mean to you.
And the rest of us need to stop simplifying everything into “bullying”.

MayBee on March 16, 2012 at 4:01 PM

That is much easier said than done, and it’s way more easier for an adult at age 35 or above to feel that way.

But when you are 12 or 16 or even 25 years old, and don’t know who you are and don’t have life experience under your belt, you will take the opinions of your peers (or family) to heart.

I know because I lived it. My mom meant well, but her hammering into my head from the time I was a child to be overly empathetic with everyone, (even with those who abused me), also had me internalizing other people’s views about myself, so even as a teen, if someone said I was ugly or stupid, I took it to heart.

I see a lot of kids and adults like that. It’s not easy for some people to ignore, blow off, or tune out negative comments and opinions people throw their way.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:33 PM

It’s kind of funny where there is are people attacking other people on a blog post about bullying. You got to admit that’s funny.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 6:32 PM

True its an ironic twist that is funny.

SparkPlug on March 16, 2012 at 9:36 PM

Nowadays, being “bullied” means:
- Being insulted.
- Interpreting some snarky remark as an insult.
- Disapproving of the swear-word-du-jour on the playground.
- Being laughed at.
- etc.

By moving the bullying benchmark so low, the authority figures can now micro-manage kids’ thoughts and behavior.

Zombie on March 16, 2012 at 4:03 PM

And those things can indeed be bullying. It depends on the kid, and his or her personality type, etc. Please see my post above where I discussed this more.

I was a weak person, very shy, insecure, socially awkward, my mother taught me to care way, way too much about other people and their opinions, so being insulted or laughed at, to me, felt like being punched in the face (and yeah, I also got physically assaulted too).

Part of the problem with bullying is that too many adults sit around acting like it’s just a normal part of childhood, you had to deal with it – so you think kids today should, and so on.

Some kids have more sensitive temperaments than others, and what you personally as a kid could brush off (the insults) etc, will absolutely torment them.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:38 PM

Bullies are bullies just because they’re mean. They want to be bullies. They like being bullies. They know they can get away with it. Their home life is irrelevant. They come from broken homes, complete homes, poor homes, rich homes. There are no underlying reason that can be cured with understanding. They are just mean. No teach or principal will do anything. They can give all the platitudes they want, all the so called punishments they want of detention or doing lines. Doesn’t matter. The bullies will continue to be bullies because it is just who they are. Nothing will ever stop them from being bullies, at least nothing that doesn’t get the victim arrested.

hadsil on March 16, 2012 at 4:09 PM

I totally agree! Some bullies come from intact, financially secure families.

Some bullies bully just because they can, and they enjoy causing other people misery.

I wish I had a link to it, but I read a few months ago that researchers did brain scans on bullies, and as these people were thinking about bullying (or they were actually bullying, I don’t remember which), the pleasure centers in their brains lit up, showing they were deriving pleasure form being mean, rude, and cruel.

The paper concluded that trying to reason with bullies, or asking them to be nice and have empathy for other people, does not work. You have to punish them for their bullying, you have to make it painful or not worth their time to bully.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:49 PM

Bullies bully because they’re being bullied by someone else.

John the Libertarian on March 16, 2012 at 4:21 PM

I don’t think that’s always the case. I had one boss over the age of 50 who just enjoyed being cruel to people. I don’t think she was being bullied at home.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 9:58 PM

I don’t think the Christian girl one of the Columbine High school punks shot after he goaded her into denying her religion and she refused (I would have) ever bullied those punks.

The reality is these kids that go on shooting rampages aren’t bullied, they just feel left out b/c the other kids they think are odd b/c they are odd. I think it’s kind of a liberal notion to just assume they were truly victims of horrific bullies when they were shooting up everybody at the school. It’s just not logical everybody there bullied them. They just wanted to kill people.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:07 PM

A lot of kids get bullied. They don’t go on shooting rampages as a result. Most kids are tougher than we give them credit for.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:09 PM

I can’t wait to help my 5-year-old write a letter to Sebelius telling her she’s bullying our Church. I opted my middle one of the bully classes. They are a joke. Instead of these bullying classes for the kids, how ’bout they make the adults take them? For some reason, Boeing keeps popping in my head too.

redmama on March 16, 2012 at 10:14 PM

People who do not understand simply standing up to bullies doesn’t always work are spoiled rotten.

fadetogray on March 16, 2012 at 4:27 PM

If you stand up to a bully, you might risk getting your face beat in, but as someone who cowered to bullies her whole life, doing nothing about bullying only got me more bullying.

Whenever I kicked the bully’s butt verbally or physically (which didn’t happen often, but it did happen a few times) those were the occasions when the bully backed down and left me alone.

(My previous post is apparently in moderation. I put about three good links in it about bullying.)

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:20 PM

I’m dealing with the problem in a mature manner. And saving my pretty face.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 4:34 PM

I’m only about half way through this thread at this stage, but you shtick got pretty old several posts before that one. It was mildly amusing at first, but it’s gotten old.

Would you consider doing a soft shoe, some jazz hands, lifting your hat up with one hand & waving it at the audience, and exiting from stage?

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM

I never had many bully issues b/c small guys master of the art of being nice to everybody. It’s a form of natural selection. Survial mechanism. I don’t apologize for it.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 4:48 PM

No, being nice is what signals the bullies that you are a doormat who won’t defend yourself.

I was completely nice to other people all the time, and it made me look inviting to the bullies because I was seen as “easy prey.”

People who are users, abusers, bullies, and manipulators intentionally seek out “nice” people as their targets (nice meaning people who give off signals they won’t fight back, push back, stand up to the aggressor, but will remain passive and cave in).

(I’m posting in response to you here not to egg you on, but for any lurkers out there reading. I’m taking that post of yours seriously, even though you appear to be taking this whole topic like a big joke.)

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Would you consider doing a soft shoe, some jazz hands, lifting your hat up with one hand & waving it at the audience, and exiting from stage?

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM

Go see a proctologist, you are so uptight.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:38 PM

I put up with for nearly a year and finally said no more and called the woman who hired him and she called him. Scared the crap out of hiim. It was a good life lesson for him.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 5:06 PM

That’s another issue. The moment someone mistreats you, you confront them on the spot. You don’t let it drag on for a year, liver transplant or no.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Go see a proctologist, you are so uptight.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Get bent, troll.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM

TigerPaw,

You probably got bullied a lot b/c you have no sense of humor. That’s who the bullies zoom in on. Most of them probably weren’t even bullies, just ribbing you. You seem super sensitive.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM

That’s another issue. The moment someone mistreats you, you confront them on the spot. You don’t let it drag on for a year, liver transplant or no.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:38 PM

I think I’m man enough to deal with the issues in my life without your unsolicited advice.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:40 PM

TigerPaw,

You probably got bullied a lot b/c you have no sense of humor. That’s who the bullies zoom in on. Most of them probably weren’t even bullies, just ribbing you. You seem super sensitive.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM

I already said previously I was too sensitive up until a few years ago. There’s nothing wrong with my sense of humor. You’re an idiot.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:40 PM

I think I’m man enough to deal with the issues in my life without your unsolicited advice.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:40 PM

Your “solution” for not dealing with problems (waiting a year to confront someone) does not work.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:41 PM

already said previously I was too sensitive up until a few years ago. There’s nothing wrong with my sense of humor. You’re an idiot.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:40 PM

No, what you are is sanctimonious. If you are going to ridicule me, don’t expect me to go easy on you. You want to do this holier than thou thing and I will make you own that. I’m an idiot with a mechanical engineering degree, what do you do? Who are you to question anybody’s intelligence.

Loosen up some. Life’s too short to be like you.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:43 PM

Your “solution” for not dealing with problems (waiting a year to confront someone) does not work.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Ok, well it did work. Like I said, I let it slide b/c he has issues with his liver. I’m a nice guy. If you have a problem with that, take a long walk over a short pier. I’m not going to apologize for being nice to a young guy with some health problems. I don’t need your advice, I dealt with the problem when I wanted to and it a way that was effective.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:44 PM

This tells us much about you. You’re comparing losing a playground fight to death.

Your irrational risk aversion is the reason why you will always be dominated in life.

But you obviously aren’t smart enough to properly analyze risk, so your life of being dominated will continue.

blink on March 16, 2012 at 5:14 PM

Based upon his most recent replies to me, I think he’s a complete troll who is trying to get a rise out of people.

I’ve answered a few of his posts anyway, for any lurkers out there who are struggling with bullying or codependency.

People who are typically victims of abuse and bullying do not confront their abusers (usually due to fear of being abandoned, being inflicted with more abuse, or plain old fear of confrontation), and they often put if off (months or years, if at all).

I have read much research on these subjects, and everything I’ve read by credentialed psychologists/ therapists etc. tell victims to stop putting up with the abuse, confront the bully and then leave.

If the abuse is happening on the job, the experts I read said the very first time your bully bullies you (or simply acts obnoxious) you should right then and there call them on it and tell them you won’t put up with it any longer…

Because if you do not handle it immediately, the bully gets the wrong idea that he (or she) can keep pushing you around with no consequence, and the abuse will go on for months or years.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:46 PM

Bullying and obesity in kids are both trumped up issues by the Obama admin. It’s not near the crisis they pretend it is.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:47 PM

Ok, well it did work. Like I said, I let it slide b/c he has issues with his liver. I’m a nice guy. If you have a problem with that, take a long walk over a short pier. I’m not going to apologize for being nice to a young guy with some health problems. I don’t need your advice, I dealt with the problem when I wanted to and it a way that was effective.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:44 PM

Nope it failed because you put up with a year’s worth of crap when you could’ve halted it in a second by telling the first time you won’t accept that behavior.

Being “nice” is what gets people singled out for being targets of bullying.

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:47 PM

TigerPaw sounds like one of the women on The View. Good grief.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:48 PM

No, what you are is sanctimonious. If you are going to ridicule me, don’t expect me to go easy on you. You want to do this holier than thou thing and I will make you own that. I’m an idiot with a mechanical engineering degree, what do you do? Who are you to question anybody’s intelligence.

Loosen up some. Life’s too short to be like you.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:43 PM

You’re an idiot and a troll. Why don’t you wait a year to get back to me on this?

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:48 PM

TigerPaw,

They have medications for depression. You ought to give it a shot.

Dr. Tesla on March 16, 2012 at 10:50 PM

Trust me when I say that guys like that target people like you instead of people like me.

They target cowards, and you are most certainly a self-described coward.

blink on March 16, 2012 at 5:24 PM

True. That is discussed on this page:

The Truth About [Bullying] Victims

TigerPaw on March 16, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Comment pages: 1 2 3 4 5