Video: Are you ready for Abraham Lincoln, vampire hunter?

posted at 6:00 pm on February 14, 2012 by Allahpundit

To cleanse the palate. Nearly a hundred years ago, Mencken began an essay on Lincoln this way: “Some time ago a publisher told me that there are four kinds of books that seldom, if ever, lose money in the United States—first, murder stories; secondly, novels in which the heroine is forcibly overcome by the hero; thirdly, volumes on spiritualism, occultism and other such claptrap, and fourthly, books on Lincoln.” You’ve got three out of four here right off the top, and vampires being vampires, there’ll probably be a woman onscreen overpowered at some point. This is based on the book by the same guy who wrote “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” I haven’t read either, but per Wikipedia, it sounds like he was going for something a bit more ambitious than “Wouldn’t it be funny if Abraham Lincoln fought vampires?” Something for the whole family: Part history lesson (as metaphors for slavery go, you can do worse than vampirism), part action splatter-fest, and part instructional video on learning to loathe the undead. That important lesson has been lost on the “Twilight” generation, I fear.

Here’s the movie trailer, which was released yesterday, followed by the book trailer (yes, they have those now) that came out in 2010. I … kind of like the second one better.

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The greatest film of the year.

mythicknight on February 14, 2012 at 6:02 PM

Between this and the blood sport going on in the Mittens vs Ricko threads…

… I’m going to need to get more pop corn!

Seven Percent Solution on February 14, 2012 at 6:03 PM

Just as long as it isn’t Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Lover. But good old honest Abe probably understood the only good vampire is a dead vampire. I think they need to get started on the sequal now: Abraham Lincoln, Gay A$$ Twilight’s Doom

NotCoach on February 14, 2012 at 6:03 PM

When I saw this article this morning I was sure it get Allah’s attention.

lexhamfox on February 14, 2012 at 6:04 PM

i’m eagerly awaiting the release of Pirahna 3DD.

GhoulAid on February 14, 2012 at 6:05 PM

What about Lincon fighting side by side with Batman?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUjG1HSSaGI

radjah shelduck on February 14, 2012 at 6:05 PM

A good friend of mine was a producer on this movie. Can’t wait to see it.

The Notorious G.O.P on February 14, 2012 at 6:05 PM

I haven’t read the book, but the movie looks like fun.

Common Sense on February 14, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Well, reportedly after one of their sons died Mary Lincoln used to hold seances in the White House. Abraham Lincoln attended at least one of them.

So, a point for historical accuracy.

Ahem.

SteveMG on February 14, 2012 at 6:07 PM

I just read that Chicago is the most corrupt city in the nation–why wouldn’t I be ready for this?!

stukinIL4now on February 14, 2012 at 6:07 PM

The book trailer looked like fan fiction. The movie version is something I’d want to see.

pedestrian on February 14, 2012 at 6:08 PM

The addition of zombies to Pride and Prejudice only made Jane Austen marginally more palatable…

catmman on February 14, 2012 at 6:09 PM

Next up…. Ben Franklin vs Alien vs Predator.

lexhamfox on February 14, 2012 at 6:10 PM

So, a point for historical accuracy.

But they lose it for having a completed Washington monument in the trailer.

Has O’Reilly used this to pimp his book yet?

rw on February 14, 2012 at 6:13 PM

So they’re rebels, slaveholders and zombies? What’s not to love about killing them? GO LINCOLN!

KillerKane on February 14, 2012 at 6:14 PM

The vampires aren’t ‘sparkling’ so its got that going for it right out of the gate.

catmman on February 14, 2012 at 6:14 PM

At last the truth can be told.
Between this and Iron Sky this could be the best movie year ever!

Little Boomer on February 14, 2012 at 6:14 PM

I’d like to see Titanic II: Return of the Undead

pedestrian on February 14, 2012 at 6:15 PM

The book was good, hopefully the movie lives up. It’s a Tim Burton flick so I’m pleasantly surprised that he didn’t cast Johnny Depp as Lincoln.

Now, where is the Harry Bosch movie, Hollywood?

Go RBNY on February 14, 2012 at 6:15 PM

That’s nothing. Just wait until The Asylum releases their rip-off film: Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies! And yes, i’m serious.

Rude on February 14, 2012 at 6:16 PM

I read part of P&P&Z while waiting on line at Borders. Once the novelty wore off, things got pretty tedious pretty fast. Rather like being enslaved by voluptuous, lascivious vampiresses, in fact.

Seth Halpern on February 14, 2012 at 6:17 PM

The same guy wrote this: Night of the Living Trekkies. Must watch this video.

mechkiller_k on February 14, 2012 at 6:17 PM

At last the truth can be told.
Between this and Iron Sky this could be the best movie year ever!

Little Boomer on February 14, 2012 at 6:14 PM

Read a review of Iron Sky posted over at Ace’s.

Pretty much an anti-Sarah Palin vehicle (for some reason) full of bad jokes.

catmman on February 14, 2012 at 6:18 PM

Next up…. Ben Franklin vs Alien vs Predator.

lexhamfox on February 14, 2012 at 6:10 PM

Ok. That made me laugh.

kurtzz3 on February 14, 2012 at 6:19 PM

Jason vs. Freddy vs. Abe

Make it happen! lol

cicerone on February 14, 2012 at 6:19 PM

and part instructional video on learning to loathe the undead Liberals. That important lesson has been lost on the “Twilight” generation, I fear.

BigWyo on February 14, 2012 at 6:21 PM

You had me with the premise.

You SOLD me with the trailer.

BRING IT.

Tim_CA on February 14, 2012 at 6:29 PM

The book’s pretty good. There’s a lot of true history (a LOT) about his youth and family that I didn’t know — and quite a bit of the vampire stuff is inserted sneakily into the historical stuff so the line is blurred. It’s clever.

Tanya on February 14, 2012 at 6:29 PM

“JFK vs. The attack of the 50 foot Woman.”

Man, imagine what old Jack would do with that.

SteveMG on February 14, 2012 at 6:29 PM

“JFK vs. The attack of the 50 foot Woman.”

Man, imagine what old Jack would do with that.

SteveMG on February 14, 2012 at 6:29 PM

Spelunking?

portlandon on February 14, 2012 at 6:32 PM

It’s been a while since I watched a documentary… since History Channel doesn’t play them any more.

Yakko77 on February 14, 2012 at 6:33 PM

Well, at least the kids will get some history while supporting Hollywood.

BL@KBIRD on February 14, 2012 at 6:35 PM

Next up…. Ben Franklin vs Alien vs Predator.

lexhamfox on February 14, 2012 at 6:10 PM

No,no,no, Ben Franklin & Tom Jefferson vs the Martian Invaders. The Martians have Tripods but the Americans have two of the smartest men of the colonial era working together to bring them down!

Browncoatone on February 14, 2012 at 6:38 PM

Isn’t that the book Bill O’Reilly wrote?

John the Libertarian on February 14, 2012 at 6:40 PM

The addition of zombies to Pride and Prejudice only made Jane Austen marginally more palatable…

catmman on February 14, 2012 at 6:09 PM

Heh.

The vampire’s eating Lincoln hickory looks way more fun.

Tim_CA on February 14, 2012 at 6:43 PM

It’s been a while since I watched a documentary… since History Channel doesn’t play them any more.

Yakko77 on February 14, 2012 at 6:33 PM

It seems like the History Channel went from:

History to
Bigfoot
Reality TV in 2 years

Oil Can on February 14, 2012 at 6:45 PM

“JFK vs. The attack of the 50 foot Woman.”

Man, imagine what old Jack would do with that.

SteveMG on February 14, 2012 at 6:29 PM

Spelunking?

portlandon on February 14, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.

LMAO.

(hilarious)

Tim_CA on February 14, 2012 at 6:47 PM

ABE LINCOLN: REPUBLICAN VAMPIRE KILLER

reliapundit on February 14, 2012 at 6:52 PM

George Washington troll hunter…

Oil Can on February 14, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Jimmy Carter And The Killer Bunny Rabbit II: This Time It’s Personal.

troyriser_gopftw on February 14, 2012 at 7:04 PM

The book was really good. The book was an alternative history of Lincoln’s life and his obsession with killing vampires. It even gave reason why slaves where kept and why Lincoln wanted a civil war

If it stays true to it’s source this should be a very good movie

LordDaMan on February 14, 2012 at 7:07 PM

So this isn’t a sequel to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?

rbj on February 14, 2012 at 7:08 PM

Tim Burton can destroy any concept.

Valiant on February 14, 2012 at 7:09 PM

Read both books – not Puliter material but fun little page-turners. The trailer for the book I had always found ingenious.

Been looking forward to the film version of this ever since I heard about its existence. Overshadowed only by my excitement that an Ender’s Game movie is a). finally being made and b). starring Asa Butterfield, the charming young lad from Hugo.

The Schaef on February 14, 2012 at 7:11 PM

Looks like one of those bad kung fu movies my friends and I would go to in order to specifically make fun of it(a la’ MST3K).

Pass.

Mitoch55 on February 14, 2012 at 7:16 PM

I guess I’m old fashioned but I would rather that President Lincoln and other serious historical figures be remembered for who they actually were and not be diluted with tall tales and fiction.

FloatingRock on February 14, 2012 at 7:16 PM

I guess I’m old fashioned but I would rather that President Lincoln and other serious historical figures be remembered for who they actually were and not be diluted with tall tales and fiction.

FloatingRock on February 14, 2012 at 7:16 PM

President Lincoln was known for his sometimes mordant sense of humor, his joke- and story-telling talents. Grant’s aide de camp described Lincoln near-pitch perfect ability to mimic the voice and mannerisms of selected members of the Washington elite. I’d like to think he’d have a good laugh over it.

troyriser_gopftw on February 14, 2012 at 7:25 PM

The second video is for the book, lest anyone be confused.

Zaggs on February 14, 2012 at 7:25 PM

I guess I’m old fashioned but I would rather that President Lincoln and other serious historical figures be remembered for who they actually were and not be diluted with tall tales and fiction.

FloatingRock

Think of it like this, it might lead to teens learning about the man.

Zaggs on February 14, 2012 at 7:27 PM

This may be the greatest thing, ever.

Doomberg on February 14, 2012 at 7:28 PM

I’m interested enough to waste a afternoon watching it…

I’ve liked Tim Burton’s stuff because he can be that kind of offbeat movies…and it can’t possibly be any worse than the remake of the 3 Stooges…with Sean Penn?

BlaxPac on February 14, 2012 at 7:31 PM

troyriser_gopftw on February 14, 2012 at 7:25 PM

Sure, it’s easy to say that now but someday vampirism is going to be the next civil rights movement and when that day comes this movie is going to make Lincoln look like a bigoted, hateful monster. /

FloatingRock on February 14, 2012 at 7:38 PM

I’ve liked Tim Burton’s stuff because he can be that kind of offbeat movies…and it can’t possibly be any worse than the remake of the 3 Stooges…with Sean Penn?

BlaxPac on February 14, 2012 at 7:31 PM

But Penn is a stooge for some of the worst regimes out there.

rbj on February 14, 2012 at 7:40 PM

dinocroc vs shartopus vs ted kennedy…..the swimmer

t8stlikchkn on February 14, 2012 at 7:43 PM

I was really surprised by it.

Esthier on February 14, 2012 at 7:47 PM

Great
No wonder why the American people are stupid. Not only do the public school system Not teach history but now Hollywood needs to deface one of the Greatest Presidents, A Republican of course and turn him into some type of Van Helsing, Instead of making a movie that may actually teach the American Public what it takes to be a great President who had to make actual tough decisions. Pretty pathetic to me.

Conservative4ev on February 14, 2012 at 7:50 PM

I was thinking along the same line as

FloatingRock on February 14, 2012 at 7:16 PM

but then again, this couldn’t be worse than Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure treatment of Lincoln. I will try to not be a prude and try to see this in the positive light in which all of you do.

Lincoln and vampires?

jazzuscounty on February 14, 2012 at 7:55 PM

HAHAAAA & Holy schneikies! Laughed til I cried. Especially at the second clip’s screen that read: The TRUE story of our 16th President. Just delightful. And a Tim Burton joint to boot! Felt re-freed just watching. Thanks, Allahpundit!
:D

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on February 14, 2012 at 7:55 PM

The book was great! I’m really looking forward to the movie.

Kevin71 on February 14, 2012 at 7:57 PM

I truly do believe this has the potential to be one of the greatest modern era movies produced.

My only fear is that a couple of generations from now there will be students who actually do believe President Lincoln killed vampires.

ButterflyDragon on February 14, 2012 at 8:00 PM

Tim Burton can destroy any concept.

Valiant on February 14, 2012 at 7:09 PM

Yep. I have yet to hear his recantation on the whole Batman series.

TexasDan on February 14, 2012 at 8:04 PM

My only fear is that a couple of generations from now there will be students who actually do believe President Lincoln killed vampires.

ButterflyDragon on February 14, 2012 at 8:00 PM

He DID kill vampires……they’re making a movie about it.

/like-you-have-to-wait-for-that.

Tim_CA on February 14, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Meh!

I found a better clip. With shirtless men for the ladies and the Osama Zombie Apocalypse in Afghanistan for the guys:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfD6-5Qf-cc

Jack Deth on February 14, 2012 at 8:16 PM

I won’t presume to speak for everyone, but I like it when vampires are frickin’ Nosferatu-like undead bloodsucking demons from hell. These sparkly frou-frou angst-ridden euro-trash beautiful people goth vampires just don’t do it for me, sorry.

troyriser_gopftw on February 14, 2012 at 8:20 PM

troyriser_gopftw on February 14, 2012 at 8:20 PM

+1. It would be nice if they throw some romantic-vampires like that into this movie for Abe to slaughter.

FloatingRock on February 14, 2012 at 8:36 PM

I’m holding out for the Millard Fillmore NASCAR movie.

trigon on February 14, 2012 at 8:40 PM

I don’t know. It looks like there is going to be some overseas competition – Osama bin Zombie

Wolf Howling on February 14, 2012 at 8:49 PM

So, Zombie Lincoln is coming for Barack Obama??? Please please please….

SWalker on February 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Does he fight Nicholas Cage?

BlueCollarAstronaut on February 14, 2012 at 9:17 PM

I read the intro to this book when it came out and was awash with disappointment. I couldn’t even make it to the actual story because wading through the self serving pap of the modern day characters was unreadable.

rihar on February 14, 2012 at 9:33 PM

Say what you want about it, at least its ORIGINAL, which is much more than you can say about 90% of the recycled crap coming out of hollywood these days.

Cheesecakecrush on February 14, 2012 at 9:43 PM

I read the intro to this book when it came out and was awash with disappointment. I couldn’t even make it to the actual story because wading through the self serving pap of the modern day characters was unreadable.

rihar on February 14, 2012 at 9:33 PM

Well, they all can’t be classics like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Seriously, were you expecting great literature?

ZGMF_Freedom on February 14, 2012 at 10:17 PM

Actually, the vile tyrant Lincoln hunted innocent Southern civilians. Women. Children. Most of the trouble we are in today started because of this filthy PIG.

jubalearly on February 14, 2012 at 10:40 PM

Well, they all can’t be classics like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Seriously, were you expecting great literature?

ZGMF_Freedom on February 14, 2012 at 10:17 PM

I would have been happy with comic book level writing. It didn’t live up to those standards. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, now there was comic book quality writing I could believe in!

rihar on February 14, 2012 at 11:15 PM

President Lincoln was known for his sometimes mordant sense of humor, his joke- and story-telling talents. Grant’s aide de camp described Lincoln near-pitch perfect ability to mimic the voice and mannerisms of selected members of the Washington elite. I’d like to think he’d have a good laugh over it.

troyriser_gopftw on February 14, 2012 at 7:25 PM

Abe Lincoln was the ultimate self made man who rode the “circuit” going from rural town to rural town looking for legal work (and making a living). Of course he had a great sense of humor. I’m sure that the farmers, etc. who he was trying to get to buy his legal services wouldn’t have put up with a stuff, serious guy. (Of course, however, he probably did have manic depression based on some of the instances in his past).

This sounds like a fun movie. I dismissed the book when it came out as pure fluff, but it does seem that the author was trying to go a bit deeper than wouldn’t it be fun for historical figures to kill vampires. Vampies as a metaphor to slavery is an interesting idea. Might try to check it out of the library. Obviously it isn’t a Pulitzer/ Oscar turn, but it should be a fun summer movie.

Illinidiva on February 14, 2012 at 11:57 PM

Sure, it’s easy to say that now but someday vampirism is going to be the next civil rights movement and when that day comes this movie is going to make Lincoln look like a bigoted, hateful monster.

FloatingRock, the Anita Blake books already went there (at least as far as vampires being a next civil rights movement).

SDN on February 15, 2012 at 12:04 AM

I take it this one is fictional, like one of my favs.. “Obama: Deficit Slayer.”

saus on February 15, 2012 at 12:20 AM

The book was a fun read, and does indeed have plenty of his bio info that you may not know about even despite the vampire influence…and not to give anything away but the shot of the Washington Monument might be from the epilogue…

das411 on February 15, 2012 at 12:44 AM

So it is about a Republican vs. hordes of bloodsucking democrats?

ChuckTX on February 15, 2012 at 1:17 AM

Is this a true story?

(Oh, and the second trailer is fantastic.)

Random on February 15, 2012 at 2:24 AM

Really?

Lincoln an Axe and Vampires?

That’s about as entertaining as getting a prostrate exam.

SFTech on February 15, 2012 at 4:45 AM

But good old honest Abe probably understood the only good vampire is a dead vampire. I think they need to get started on the sequal now: Abraham Lincoln, Gay A$$ Twilight’s Doom

NotCoach on February 14, 2012 at 6:03 PM

They’re vampires, they are already dead. They only good vampire, is a dusted vampire (unless he’s got a soul and works to defeat Wolfram Heart law offices).

LoganSix on February 15, 2012 at 6:22 AM

Interestingly, in the book, the Republicans (and Abolitionists) are the good guys while the Democrats are the ones willing to do the blood sucking, power hungry vampire’s bidding in hopes of retaining their power (or at least being at the top of the human order). Swap out vampires for Unions and it is eerily similar to the way things are today.

Gulchie on February 15, 2012 at 7:38 AM

Finally!

Dr Evil on February 15, 2012 at 8:22 AM

Lincoln is out for revenge, his mother didn’t really die of milk sickness……

Abraham Lincoln as a cult legend isn’t limited to rewriting classics.

Dr Evil on February 15, 2012 at 8:27 AM

Lincoln isn’t a cyborg so I just can’t get into this.

swinia sutki on February 15, 2012 at 9:02 AM

“JFK vs. The attack of the 50 foot Woman.”

Man, imagine what old Jack would do with that.

SteveMG on February 14, 2012 at 6:29 PM

“We’re going to need a bigger boat”

But in all seriousness, the book was amazing so I’m looking forward to this movie.

scrubbiedude on February 15, 2012 at 10:12 AM

They’re vampires, they are already dead. They only good vampire, is a dusted vampire (unless he’s got a soul and works to defeat Wolfram Heart law offices).

LoganSix on February 15, 2012 at 6:22 AM

They are undead. Making them dead makes them no longer undead.

NotCoach on February 15, 2012 at 10:17 AM

Wow! Just wow!

This book, with Tim Burton as director. It could the the “Gone With The Wind” of vampire cult movies.

When does it come out in Blu-Ray?

corbeck on February 15, 2012 at 10:42 AM

TO: The Notorious G.O.P

Tell your producer friend to think about Jefferson vs. the Knights Templars. Lots of the Founding Fathers (but not Jefferson) were Freemasons. Some contend that the Freemasons were the carry-on of the Templars after the Pope smashed the order. The conflict here is the aristocrats running America for the their benefit vs. the welfare of common people.

There are those that claim that the Templars had a secret base in America before Columbus came here. This is carried over to claims that there was a secret mission for the Lewis and Clark expedition to find this base. This stuff is pretty far out but good material for Hollywood. No worse than Lincoln and vampires.

Bart

bartbeast on February 15, 2012 at 11:34 AM

Isn’t that the book Bill O’Reilly wrote?

John the Libertarian on February 14, 2012 at 6:40 PM

O’Reilly writes another instant classic, trust the no spin master to get to the TRUTH about Lincolns struggles.

On a serious note the movie actually looks like a watcher rather than a renter.

Koa on February 15, 2012 at 2:28 PM